1894 replies to this topic

[lilyflower]

Today I was surfing the channels and I came across VH1's Awesomely Bad Videos, so of COURSE I had to watch because it was far too funny.

Guess what one of the videos was? Paula's "Opposites Attract"! The commentators made fun of her for dancing in a video with a cartoon cat, and one of them said something like "Paula couldn't get a boyfriend to sing with, so they drew one."

Now, think of this... this woman thought it was a good career move to make a video in which she flirts with a cartoon cat. That just totally sounds like something she came up with while high.

I think that video is when people started figuring out that Paula wasn't just a ditz. She was nonsensical!


Thanks to Scarletsmith for the great thread title!

Edited by Jacob, Apr 20, 2006 @ 12:46 PM.

[representin512]

the commentators made fun of her for dancing in a video with a cartoon cat and one of them said something like "Paula couldn't get a boyfriend to sing with so they drew one" .....this woman thought it was a good career move to make a video in which she flirts with a cartoon cat. That just totally sounds like something she came up with while high.

[small voice] I like that video too![/sv]

The thing is, she didn't come up with that idea. That idea has been around for a while. For crying out loud, GENE KELLY danced with Jerry the Mouse (of Tom and Jerry fame). People called him a genius! Nobody said "That Gene Kelly is such a flake! He must be dancing with a cartoon because he can't find a beautiful starlet to star in movies with." In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Paula did it as a sort of tribute to those earlier film legends who did similar things in their movies. Still, it doesn't explain the WORDS that are commin' outta her MOUF' (tm Chris Tucker in Rush Hour)

[scarletsmith]

Pauler's on Ryan Seacrest's TV show today (1/19), incoherent as usual. Her imitation of Clay's "choreography" (her words) when he'd be announced as "safe" each week on AI was pretty funny, though. (Hold hands with nearest contestant...collapse with relief...mouth "thank you"...etc.) She also babbled that Ruben "should have gotten to release his album first, because after all, he won." Well, Paula, maybe you should take that up with the good folks at 19E and RCA/J Records (and Ruben, too, since he reportedly consented to it) instead of snipping about it on Toolchest's talk show. If this is a sneak preview of the "spin" AI3 is going to put on the Clay/Ruben situation, PRoCers should stock up on Maalox. (And Shack should find a good stock of quality booze.)

Oh, and she looked [Simon]dreadful[/Simon], too. Somebody needs to nominate the woman for What Not To Wear.

[Zonder]

weird. Anyone else think that she was oddly well spoken and composed today? I mean, not that she had to do any talking - or at least not much of it, but she seemed a lot more comfortable with her job as a judge. She'll probably make me eat my words real soon though.

[shalozby]

I was sort of shocked, so part of me thinks that there's a secret teleprompter somewhere that she's reading off of.
I am also starting to notice that, as time goes on, Paula is starting to look like Joan Rivers, in that she's getting that face-lift monkey face effect.

[PikeyPower]

Goddamn, the woman looked day-glo in her crap-POVterviews.

Oh, yeah: and high.

[EmeraldSong]

I'm going to get stoned for this...but I honestly like Paula. The show needs one judge who's not going to be a total buttmunch all the time to everyone. I think she might keep some of these really awful kids from going completely postal.

I dunno. She seems genuine, and seems to be a very sweet person.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled snark.

[SusannahDean]

Dear Paula,

Please stop embarrasing yourself.

That is all.

[bookcat]

Well, you know, sincerity is okay some of the time.
I don't mind her when she's fairly comprehensible and is being nice, like she was to that poor little girl with braids and she was all "is this your first audition?" But the "spirit dancing" drives me nuts. If you're intoxicated to the point of hallucination, or just insane to that point, then for the love of god take the night off to recover and come down.

[jcpdiesel21]

The woman sees a male and thinks "Y chromosome!" and instantly loves them. On the other hand, if Paula sees a female, she comes up with some sort of criticism if she doesn't outright hate their performance.

The outfit during the direct interview portions of the auditions with the saggy top? Atrocious.

[Dear Pot, Love Kettle]

I agree, I think she's doing a way better job (impression?) of being sane this time around. Constructive criticism and not being outright mean, call me crazy but that's what I like in a judge. And she was the only one at least trying to keep a straight face during some of those horrendous auditions. I understand that a lot of these people suck (understatement of the year, I know!) but I don't think anyone likes to have people laughing in his/her face.

[RabbitEars]

I was stunned -- stunned -- at her "affected" speech. Not because it was dead-on, but because it could have been made so. many. times. before. Most of the female contestants have had serious problems trying to be someone else. First, they're in a huge audition, and some of them are putting on the pageant face. Second, they're young, they can't pull off the real emotion that life experience would give them, and they're emulating their heroes. Christina Aguilera was born with that affected diva-act going -- look at tape from when she was a kid. I don't know where she picked that up, but it's obvious that she's teaching a new generation of kids all the trite diva-soul mannerisms.

No, what's shocking is, why did Paula pull out this criticism now? Did she really let illness get to her? Did she get sick of propping up fragile egos all day? Did she get frustrated that yet another pretty girl was going to Hollywood? She was right, and yet so wrong.

[robbTV]

So, let me get this straight...

A contestant said that some of Paula's vocabulary went right over her head? Paula's??? The hell?

I do agree that based on that speech alone that Paula's being a better judge this time around. It seems that PMS, stormy weather, and the flu really suit her!

Now, I wonder if she could infect Ryan??

Edited by robbTV, Jan 22, 2004 @ 2:49 AM.

[Cuckoo]

I wanted to WORD Paula throughout last night's episode. Which freaked me out. Please don't scare me like that ever again, Pauler.

[ferretrick]

Cuckoo, I know the feeling. I personally compensated by blaming Kiiira and focusing even more hatred on her.

[TheCustomOfLife]

What was up with those barrettes in her hair in the 1995 interview? I think three-year old girls would find jeweled heart barrettes tacky.

But Paula's forever your two-year-old girl. Sorry, I just couldn't resist.

BTW, is your name an homage to the Guiding Light couple of Shayne and Marina?

[Make It So]

I liked "Rush Rush"...sue me.

Alrighty, the summons is in the mail. That video was painful to watch. Keanu was still in his "Ted, But Serious" mode.

I agree with y'all that Paula is amazingly on point these days! She must have balanced out the meds.

[katiedid]

She must have balanced out the meds.

Maybe only on the show though. She was on Livin' It Up with Ali and Jack, and actually sounded both incoherent and stulted. Usually she has sort of a perky diarrhea of incompetence that runs from her mouth, but she couldn't even string two words together at a time. This may be heading towards grassy knoll territory, but maybe they have handlers for her while the AI shows are taping. Apparently her people claim she was "recovering from illness," and I think this may be the first time anyone has mentioned Paula and recovery in the same sentence.

Eeeek - I need to add, for those of you wondering about her uglier-than-thou necklace bestowment to the kids last year, that the "special gift" was even tackier than we thought. Those necklaces are part of her signature design Paula Abdul collection. She was using AI as her own home shopping network platform!

Now you too can look like a famewhore who hangs with Paula!

Edited by katiedid, Jan 27, 2004 @ 4:30 AM.

[secretagentman]

Was that the clip they showed last night on "Inside Edition"? I only caught the last 2 seconds where I heard " her spokesperson claimed she was under the weather" over a shot of Paula, but I didnt actually see her crazyass. Can anyone provide more info? Thanks.

[maggy]

Maybe Paula has an earpiece where someone whispers the comments she's suppose to say.

[SecretOfLife]

agree with y'all that Paula is amazingly on point these days! She must have balanced out the meds.

Maybe it's just that she's getting laid more regularly now that she has a steady boyfriend.

[katiedid]

secretagentman

Can anyone provide more info? Thanks.

To sort of briefly summerize: They began her segment with her listening to two audience members sing for her to adjudicate. And her comments to them actually seemed to be better articulated than the ones she gives on the show. (It appears she either had a lapse from idiocy, or the AI producers edit her into the ground.) But then Ali Wentworth interviewed her on a number of topics, from the number of bad try-out singers to what's Simon really like. Basically interview pablum. But I can't actually remember what she specifically said to anything because she just stammered from one word to the next. It was like she was trying to construct sentences without being able to think of the word she previously uttered by the time she got to the next one. Also, she was wearing this porcelain rose choker necklace that resembled an elephantine version of the floral details on my Grandma's Hummel figurines. And those things inexplicably scare the shit out of me, so I was sort of prepared for the worst the minute I saw her.

Edited by katiedid, Jan 28, 2004 @ 4:02 AM.

[Blake]

The best screencap I have seen in my life. Paula Streisand, folks.

[secretagentman]

Thanks Katiedid, I hope to see it someday.