From Zap2it:

Bulletproof I wish I was. Now that's the stupid show I'm used to. I don't even know what to say about it. Was it just such a dull episode or did the Lana ass kissage/Clois pimping during the first 15 minutes break my brain?

I felt absolutely nothing for either cop or cop subplot. I had two thoughts about the useless strike team. 1) Clark was acting like the worst IAD agent ever. 2) Clark sees a rifle in a police car and opens it and holds it in broad sight yet with his superhearing can't hear the 20 or so cops about five feet away.

Now onto the other two parts ot the episode, the parts that will stick with me.

Part 1:

Tess' asskissing of Lana was painful, I forgot how much I hated it. I forgot how much I hated Lana. Maybe the reason The Daily Planet wasn't covering her return was because NO ONE CARES.

The point Tess should have gotten from the transplant was not that Lex didn't trust her, but that he trusted her completely. Mercy should have felt honored that Lex chose her. Why can't he have a useful minion once?

I can't believe "ex Luthor Declared D."

Part 2:
Chloe has one goddamned scene and it's to promote Clois? His love for Lois is "that obvious?" "Promise you won't slam my cousin in the door"? What the fuck?

That had to be the LEAST HOT kiss I have ever seen on network television. I seriously cringed and turned away. Please let the Clana die. Please.


Also, CTUN, #2 is seconded. That was hideous.

That was awful all the way through what with the terrible plot, acting, Clois pimping, and Clana rehash.

I fucking hate this show. Lets just take all the progress we've made this season and throw it in the dumpster with this Clana shit!

The whole, 'good cop has lost his way' crap was so cliche. And....how did Clark score a uniform and be able to get past background checks to impersonate a cop? What kind of crappy police force is that??

Lana beat Mercy? Lana freaking Lang beat Mercy in a fight. Damn you Smallville. And of course we got the Clana ending.

As for Clark, we know this Clark isn't the smartest but one action in this episode defied logic. Clark's investigating dirty cops, he breaks into one of their trunks, and picks up the sniper rifle. Yes Clark because when dealing with dirty cops, you break into their trunk, and put your fingerprints on a weapon. Come on Clark, it's common sense not to do that.

Am I alone in my hatred of Lois that a Clana recoupling isn't that bad compared to canon?

This is a letdown from "Legion," with Clark learning about the power of brotherhood, which he didn't learn senior year as a quarterback. Or during his experiences with Ollie's crew. Are Kryptonians supposed to have shoddy long-term memory?

Tess/Lana...I liked the fighting. There, I said it. Also impressed that Lex had Tess bugged for years, and now Tess is going to ruin the bald fucker.



Maybe because Lois is family . . . idiotic, trampy family.

ETA: "Blue Blur"? Seriously?!? Also, I can't recognize where "Joe Foreman" comes from.

Um, I'd like to have Clark's stones. IN MY HANDS.

Ridiculous episode, made watchable only by Tom Welling's ridiculous hotness and parted hair.

The Lana/Mercy crap was horrible horrible horrible. Why do they even try? The revelation about Mercy was a nice surprise, but the only thing I could think of the rest of the episode was how much Lex enjoyed getting an eyeful of Oliver.

goshhhhh Clois is mentioned and pimped even when Nois is not on it ..... Chloe was the last one that needed to give her blessing to Nois ... awwwww seriously .... can I plead on my knees to Geoff to come back and write the rest of the season please???? because the same old crap in on again, I knew I knew it was too good to last ... ( I am talking about Legion )

This episode was a complete waste.... filler

The episode was blah after the high off of Legion. But that was to be expected.

Thanks for wasting a Chlark scene for Nois pimping and once again SWF Nois in the Chlarklana third wheel story arc. Who gives a shit about this poor Lois crap. Though I did find it hilarious how the BDA looked like Chloe was talking a foreign language when discussing her cousin.

WAY too much Lana. Seriously, this girl was channeling Superman's speed with all the random shows up's. But this is vintage Lanaville, so again expected with her return.

The Danny story arc could of been great, but it left me bored. I was slightly more interested in the Tess/Lex aspect of the episode. They should of explored that angle to be quite honest.

The icing on the cake was that last scene.

ClNois who?

*nener,nener*

I think that might be in the running for top 5 suckiest episodes.

The Chlark conversation made just about as much sense as Lois saying she never cheated on Clark and it getting Clark zapped...not surprisingly it's the same writer.

Pluses. No Nois. Clark, Ollie and Tess are hot.

Negatives... the story, the dialoge, the Clana.

Wow. What a terrible episode. I couldn't even stay awake. Fucking hate that Chloe pimps Clois! Complete BS!

I didn't see that way. I really saw no Clois pimping. I saw no Clark and Lois sound great together. No "I know Clark and that's why I can say he needs you."

All I saw was Chloe bring up concern for her cousin's feelings in the Clark/Lana drama. I saw Clark once again get this "WTF? Why does everyone bring up Clois to me.?

I saw Chloe get this sad look on her face when Clark said about not being able to just stop loving someone just like she did when he brought that same thing up in S%5 wrt to Lexana.

As for the rest of the episode. Fucking boring and Tess is just a fucking disgrace to woman. Just really.

This episode was too boring to comment on.

I loved this episode!
I have to tell that the police story wasn't that great, but the end was better than I was expecting!

Lex knows what Oliver's naughty bits look like. Lucky Lex. If Lex ever comes back, I'd love to hear some dialog regarding that.

Tess/Oliver sucks, IMO, it makes both characters look stupid. Can this show ever have a kick ass villain(ess)?

Clana still sucks the life out of everything.

I almost forgot it was on tonight and tuned in 15 minutes late. Now I'm sorry I watched at all.

Note to PS3: Don't try and rip off a great show [i.e. "The Shield"] any more. It only makes you look more weak and pathetic than you already are.

It's crap like this that convince me there's no shot for Chlois. Thanks for bringing me back down after LEGION, PS3. Someone hand me a few Excedrin.

Dear Bryan Q. Miller:

Fuck you. Seriously - fuck you. You make me long for the good old days of Not!Babies and Gay Stones of Knowledge. Al and Miles weap at what you are doing to their show. Please go back to writing bad Clois fanfict, since that is the only posible explanation I have for the WTF-worthy, OOC behavior I saw this week.

Can we get Geoff back? Please?

I agree with you RepairmanBob, .... Geoff seemed to know a lot more about this show than this Nois´s fanfic writer ......

What the fuck did I just watch? No, seriously. I almost fell asleep. The episode was so boring and dull and just blah.

If everyone else has to point Clark in the direction of Nois, then the writers aren't doing their job. I'm not surprised that the same person that wrote the contrived crap fest that was Committed wrote this crap fest too. But it really irked me that Chloe's 1 scene and she pimps Nois to Clark. WTF? CAN WE HAVE 1 NOIS FREE EPISODE WITHOUT ANY MENTION OF HER? PLEASE?!

Tess? What the fuck happened to you? I want Badass!Tess back. No better yet, raise Not!Mercy from the dead. She was the only one of Lex's minions that did not turn on him.

This episode may even be worse than Trespass. At least I was able to laugh at how ridiculous that one was.

Trespass puts this stupid episode down to shame .....

Here's what made me sick about Tess. Not just her reaction to Lex chipping her, which I still say she should have felt honored by. She feels upset, betrayed, scorned. Fine.

But by giving up her company to her ex/current lover makes her look pathetic no matter the history between Lex and Oliver. She should want to take control of Luthorcorp herself and prove herself as a strong, dominant woman.

I'm sorry, but I take Lois and her annoying shit over the "what's the point?" Clana. Lana has the power to suck the life out of an episode.

And yet...

While it's good to see that Chloe still has the Isis set, I actually said aloud "Chloe, I could kill you," when she asked Clark "And Lois?" But thankfully, AM's performance still showed that she knows exactly what it means, the kind of toll it takes on Chloe to turn around and be a Clois cheerleader. And I just realized that Lois wasn't even in this episode. It takes real talent to ruin a scene for me without even being in it...

That stupid Lana/Tess smackdown pissed me off. That woman is not, cannot be Mercy. Just does not compute. And WTF, where are your friends Ken and Ryu, Lana? These last 5 episodes with KK are going to be like the Greatest Hits of what made me hate Lana. Lana-Fu, Clana, Whispering, Secreths, and of course, the spontaneous villian ass-kissing of all that is Lana Lang.

The little "Go Green" commercial was cute, though. It's nice to see the SV cast in any kind of promo - not just the two leads, Clark and Lois, spinning around in slo-mo, making me want to throw something at my TV. ED seemed stiff, but the others were enthusiastic enough.

The plot was so boring, I couldn't even pay attention. So some cops are bad jealous bad people. And "capes" are good jealous bad people. Was this message really necessary? Somebody must have decided that the question of "Why doesn't Superman just let the police do it?" needed to be addressed respectfully and realistically, but then wrote this episode instead. And wasn't "Joe" Jor-El's fake name when he came to Earth to boink the sepia-toned Lana? Does Chloe know that? I'm assuming she chose his fake identity... I don't know, I wasn't paying close enough attention.

The only good thing about this episode was TW in that police uniform.

I thought this ep was truly awful. An A plot and characters ("nice guy" cop and his cutesy family) I couldn't have cared less about, more Lana-pimping, and wow, I think I'm finally losing all hope in Clark. I knew they were going to drag out the Clana a bit, but I wasn't expecting a repeat of "What if the world didn't always have to come first" and the kiss. They truly are going to make him a spineless, ball-less douche to the last, aren't they?! I mean, was that part in the previouslies "You weren't intending to come back" even on the show? I don't remember it. If it wasn't, is he just cool with Lana coming back with no explanation as to why she left or why she's back? Shoot, it reminds me of the end of "Spirit" where Lana just waltzes in to claim her dance with Clark as though it's a given. I can't say Clois is my main 'ship, but I like it a heck of a lot better than Clana, and did Chloe's advice make any impression on Clark at all? he just sort of stood there slight-grinning like a dope.

Clark, I really loved you, but there's very little hope for you left.

So, "Mercy"'s dumping Lex and going to dinner with Oliver? Too bad-- I rather liked her "I loved you, you sonofabitch." speech. Does it even occur to her that Lana could be making it all up?

Oddly enough, I could almost get behind Lana/Clana now if they'd let her have the short bob. Don't ask me why--this show's made me a blithering idiot.

I am at a loss to understand Clark's logic at the end. You'd think from the conversation with the cop that he'd realize saving the world is more important, but he can make time for a family. Yet, his last conversation with Lana is about how the world doesn't need to come first. Dude, that's exactly why she left in the first place! Lana thought Clark needed to focus on others first. *shakes head*

Betrayal, secrets, lies, mindrape, don´t work hard cause you got the name and will get there anyway .... are some of the trademark of this show .....

I don't have much to add. What a steaming pile that was:

1) Lana beats Tess in a fight. Well, I suppose that's fitting, since she recently knocked out Ollie with one punch. Speaking of which,

2) Ollie: It's hard to get the drop on me. [Unless you have shiny, shiny hair.] Speaking of which...

3) Ollie FUCKING Queen is lecturing Clark about how it's wrong to kill people? What has it been, thirty-six hours since he tried to shoot Lex in cold blood?

4) Chloe, CHLOE is pimping Lois and Clark now? Chloe doesn't want Clark to break Lois' heart? Man, those two must really be
something hot in Offscreenville. Why, I bet they had sex after every one of Lois' obituaries were published. I agree with the previous poster that Chloe seemed to have her sad "I love Clark" face during that scene, which is the only reason I didn't throw up, but COME ON!

I admit, though, it was nice to have Lex deserve his minion's betrayal for once. What he did to Mercy was pretty crappy, if you ask me, and the scene in which it was revealed was pretty cool, from a technical perspective.

If I didn't know better, I'd say this episode was written by AlMiles. It has the WTF? moments we always got from them.

Don't even get me started on the Tess/Lana fight. For a moment, I had hope that they were going to give Kristin 4 decent episodes; however, they only bring her to do the same shit, but with different hairstyle now.

God yes. She should have been showing us that she could do this without the need of a man. Instead she goes right into another man's arm just to screw over another. How does that help her as a woman?

In Legion, Clark said to Lana, "I've always put my loved ones first before the world..." now in this episode he tells Lana, "I've always sacrificed the things I loved for the world..."

Does this writer even watch the damn show?

And what was up with using the exact same Preview for next week, that they used for after Legion? Is it to tell, that this episode was just a pure filler that you can ignore later?

Yes! This. Exactly. And that's why I have such a huge problem with Tess/Oliver. It really makes both characters look weak and moronic. Leave it to SV to make me start to hate characters I've always enjoyed.

I didn't really see this as Clois pimping, my guess this episode was written after it was revealed that ED was missing 4 episodes in a row, and apparently one of the fans got a letter sent to the Producers, so to quiet them down, they added that scene.

I agree, liz_antoinette, that's exactly what I thought after that nauseating Chlark scene (Did I actually type that? Whoa.) It was amusing to think how similar that scene was to all the Clana pimpage we've seen in the past. Sadly, though, it wasn't amusing enought to make me want to watch the whole episode. If that's what the writers want, then they're pretty incompetent, imo. I can't say how bored I am by Clana, and add Clois to that? FAIL.

I liked tonight's episode. It was good to see a non-meteor freak storyline for a change. Liked the bickering between Ollie and Clark and how Ollie completely blew off Clark's tiresome guilt trip. The Tess storyline was very good too and I'm looking forward to seeing where it progresses. The fight between Tess and Lana was good but the greatest chick fight on television (and one of the very best overall) is still the one between Syd and Evil Francine on Alias.

Also like the idea that Clark is know as the "Blue-Red Blur."

Some problems though...

-Chloe is only in one scene and she's ultimately there to pimp Lois and Clark. That makes her the sixth character this season to do so. It's amazing...Lois has done nothing but treat Clark like garbage and run him down in front of people. Chloe has been Clark's undying, devoted friend from the beginning and it's LOIS that Clark is attracted too. He must have a thing for women who publicly rip his ***** off.

-Speaking of which...the return of Clana. ARRRGH! Clark's has to move on and he can't do so until Lana is in the past. And Smallville writers....Clark HAS to be the one to put the relationship behind him. No Lana decided to end it for good. Clark has to be the one to bite the bullet.

-Lana seems to be the only thing Clark cares about. This Superman seems to have to be coaxed and prodded and pushed for Superman. His heart really doesn't seem into it at all.

-Good observations here were made how the ultimate question of "Cop vs Superhero" wasn't addressed and how Tess is weakening herself by running into Ollie's arms. Hopefully she'll change back to Evil Tess soon.

I thought this episode had a few funny moments. Neither Clark nor Chloe can give any reason why Clark has a thing for Lois. And his feelings for Lois are so strong that he completely forgets about her as soon as Lana graces his presence even after Chloe asks him to tread lightly.

I found some interesting moments too. Clark was a Metropolis police officer just like Chloe's hubby in au episode. The audience was once again reminded that Chloe was a part of the triangle with Clana first. Interesting that they try to make Lois part of the triangle but she is MIA. And now he has chosen Lana over both Chloe and Lois when he has admitted to something with Lois which is unfortunately more than he has ever said about Chloe.

I think Tess going after Lex is not an insult to Lex but shows how strong she really is and that Lex was right about putting her in charge. Can't believe the Lana worship but not surprising.

I thought there were alot of holes in the main plot but the other cop was kind of endearing. TW was looking so hot.

I'm glad Chloe brought up Nois to Clark. She's being a caring cousin unlike Miss Absolutely!. And I also noted Clark's WTF face at the mention of Nois. He didn't give her a second thought though.

Chloe definitely looked sad when Clark mentioned not being able to just stop loving someone. I really hope Lana is revealed as a meteor freak with Love Me powers because Clark and Tess look like fools otherwise.

At the 20 min. mark, I thought nothing's happened and we're almost at the midpoint of the episode. Boring.

I'm really fed up with Clark taking one step forward (No killing!), one step back (his talk with Ollie). I wish the writer had done his homework before this episode.

And my mind is still boggling on that one. Lana, the "Self-Involved One"? Where did this "the world needs you more" mantra come from, if not her pale pink arse?

Why would Clark say that considering he knew what Chloe felt, via reading the Fever Letter?

Also could this be applied to Lollie? Also add an extra reasoning why Oliver and Clark are at odds (Oliver was last scene in Bride after talking to Lois.)

I didn't get that at all. To me, it seemed like Tess was planning on using Oliver - like she did last time - to fritter away LuthorCorp so Lex has nothing left. She's dismantling Lex's empire, starting with declaring him dead and now merging with QI. That it's Oliver is just a personal bonus, imo.


Because as far as he knows, per Chloe herself, it's what Chloe felt, not what she feels.

Also, did I miss an explanation as to why Chloe abandoned Jimmy in Star City with Lois and came back to Smallville?

Clark said "I'm glad I caught you before you left" Apparently this episode takes place right after Legion and Chloe hasn't left yet.

I thought Chloe mentioned something about wanting to get back before Jimmy wakes up. So she went, came back for Clark, and was planning on leaving after.

Ok so exactly how far away is Star City?

There's nothing worse on TV than a filler episode of Smallville.

Or is it possible when Chloe started mention triangles and about hurting someone, Clark thought of Chloe first, and then when Chloe siad Lois, he was like WTF, and goes "Well Lois is..." (well in Hex, Lois is really Chloe) and it goes on about not shutting the door on Lois face like he did to her, and to have more grace for Lois, in actually telling her he's not interested instead of what they did to Chloe and they found out on their own, because Lois being Lois, when she's scorned she wants revenge.

So she did. Thank you.


I believe it's supposed to be somewhere in California in comics canon, but I don't think Smallville has ever said.

I actually thought it was very smart and ruthless since I'm sure she knows about their history. Lex would hate it and declaring him dead so she can do what she wants. I know I'm in the minority, but it was better than I had expected.

If only Chloe just stayed in Star City. We would have never witnessed that shitastic scene of hers. Ugh, why didn't she?