Pardon me if I'm stepping on anyone's toes here. But, every time a child is adopted into a family on television, it seems, there's always a problem. He doesn't fit in, or he's a problem child, or the parents decide they don't want her or him anymore. I've seen this a lot of times on L&O shows, in fact L&O seems to hate adoptive families.

I know adoption isn't always rosy, but surely it's got to be better than this! Anyone else want to chime in on how blended families are portrayed on television?

Well, off the top of my head, there's 90210. Dixon was adopted as a young child into his family. Thus far, he's not the problem child and he fits in well. Depending on the point of view, his only *problem* is that he's a black boy adopted by a white family and has primarily lived in a 'white' world. This came into play in last weeks episode where he was happy to find a whole different world (comprised of black people) in his new town. But, I wouldn't consider it a problem (unless, of course, it skews his own perception of himself and causes him problems in how he relates to black people. Thus far, this hasn't been too much of an issue).

Oh, neat, an adoption thread!

I'm always interested in how adoptive families are portrayed in the media. For what it's worth, I thought South of Nowhere did a good job with their adoption storyline. One of the teenage sons in the main character's family, Clay, was adopted as a young child. He didn't have any particular problems (or at least no more than his other siblings), and was generally an all-around nice guy. Unfortunately, he was also killed off in the third season, but that was because the actor wanted to leave the show. Anyway, I thought it was a nice portrait of a transracial adoptive family.

Brenda Hampton, the "genius" who brought you 7th Heaven and Secret Life of the American Teenager, appears to have very skewed views on the subject if the storylines on both shows are any indication. At least on 7th Heaven, people who adopted older children out of foster care were seen as saints, while people who want to adopt newborns are vile and selfish creatures. The worst example of the latter was an episode where the Reverend and Annie convince an unmarried teenage couple to not place their unplanned, unwanted baby for adoption. The only choices of adoptive parents were one rich couple who wanted to adopt so the wife "wouldn't get fat" and another couple who was only concerned that the baby be really smart and have special talents. This is all very interesting considering that Brenda Hampton's two children are adopted.

Musing on this topic some more...

The short-lived sitcom It's All Relative featured an adoptive family: two gay dads and their college-age daughter. Cute show, and the family was treated as perfectly normal. Liz's adoption was mentioned in passing, as part of the basic information, but there wasn't any unusual focus on it.

Though now entirely in re-runs, Adoption Stories on the Discovery Health Channel features heartwarming profiles of adoptive families. The difficulties are not glossed over, but the focus is overwhelmingly positive, and the kids are awfully cute. I wish they'd film more episodes of this series.



Speaking of which, Steve Sanders on the original Beverly Hills, 90210 was adopted. It was a bit of a convoluted storyline, IIRC. Steve only found out he was adopted at the age of 18, and he disappeared for a few weeks and tried to track down his birth mother (who turned out to be dead). After that, it seemed like things went back to normal, although later in the show (long after I stopped watching), I think it ended up that Steve's adoptive father was actually his biological father, and Steve's birth had been the result of an affair. Something crazy like that.

Looking back, I really disliked the adoption stories of AMC's Kendall and GH's Carly.

One girl was the product of her then 14 year old mother's rape, the other a result of her 18 year old prostitute mother's liason with a john. Despite these mitigating circumstances, despite the fact that both girls had been placed with loving adoptive families, each girl came to their respective towns with the firmly held belief that they had been thrown away and absolutely hell bent on ruining their birth mother's lives, which they proceeded to do in short order.

About the only positive adoption story I've seen on TV is when ER's Jing-Mei Chen gave up her son, fearing that her family would shun him and her because he was biracial.

Adoption stories on tv are almost always a surefire way to get my blood boiling. If one took tv dramatizations as the sole guide, no one would try to adopt an infant, because it is nearly certain that the adoption would at some point be overturned and the baby returned to its birth parent[s], regardless of the fitness of the adoptive family. The example that always comes to mind - for sheer rage-inducing properties - was when "L.A. Law"'s Stuart and Ann adopted a baby girl named Kelsey [mom's maiden name] who was torn away from them when the mother came back, filled with regrets and demands for "mah BAY-bee". Not only did it not matter that Stuart and Ann had provided a constant, stable and loving home for Kelsey, they were savagely criticized by the judge for being wealthy professionals. I literally screamed at the tv set when the baby was taken away from them on the spot.

Sadly, I haven't seen much on tv since then to indicate that this viewpoint has changed at all.

Caveat: I'm not adopted, have never given a baby up for adoption and don't know anybody who is adopted in real life.

One thing that drives me crazy on soap operas is whenever a long forgotten chlid that the mother gave up for adoption, or that she believed stolen, or that is illegitimate and the father didn't know about, shows up in search for their birth mom/dad... and the adoptive parents NEVER seem to play any role at all.

They just seemlessly integrate into the new family and though they acknowledge that their birth parents are great and loving and still alive, they just instantly treat the birth family as family and vice versa.

I guess to me it just seems to feed into some really weird "I was really switched at birth, my real parents are filthy rich and I will move in with my newly found mom, dad and siblings leaving my annoying old family behind" fantasy.

It drives me especially crazy if a character like that dies or gets married and the adoptive family who raised him/her aren't invited/aren't even mentioned/don't show up.

Me too. I am so Adoption Stories's bitch.

Another interesting angle is that several of the adoptive parents are gay. My favorite was Heather, the recovering heroin addict who voluntarily placed her third child for adoption(the older two had been taken from her by the courts), and chose a gay male couple because she didn't want the child growing up prejudiced. I'm not ashamed to admit I cried when they said at the end that Heather became ill and died shortly after filming. :(

I always appreciated that they chose to have Monica and Chandler adopt on Friends. Through the whole storyline, I expected something to go wrong with the adoption and the couple would find themselves pregant, which of course would be what they "really" wanted in the first place. The fact that they not only had the adoption go forward but treated it as every bit a legitimate and "real" way of becoming parents warmed my heart a bit.

On Nip/Tuck, Christian is the single adoptive dad of Wilbur, a biracial little boy. There were some struggles with custody in earlier seasons, though. A judge gave custody of Wilbur to his biological father, but then the birth father died, and Wilbur was returned to Christian. Things have been relatively low-key since then. The show hardly ever focuses on Christian being a dad, but it is a positive portrayal of adoption. There's no doubt that Wilbur is one of the few stable relationships in Christian's life, and they've always had a tight bond.

On Six Feet Under, there was also a positive adoption storyline. David and Keith adopted two little boys from foster care. I know their older son had some initial problems adjusting to his new home, but other than the usual hurdles, nothing out of the ordinary was presented. In the "flash forward" at the end of the series, we got to see a glimpse of the two boys all grown up, with their respective spouses and children.

Musing on some of my favorite childhood shows, Punky Brewster featured a single adoptive dad and his daughter. There were episodes relating to Punky's adoption, and it was very important to Punky to no longer be a foster child and to have a permanent home. Overall, I would say it was an excellent portrayal of an older-child adoption. I don't remember Webster quite as well, but it featured another adoptive family. George and Katherine, who were white, adopted Webster, who was African American. From the few episodes I saw, it seemed to be a happy family.



Speaking of soap operas, one thing I remember from a long time ago was that Mack and Karen on Knot's Landing adopted a baby daughter, Meg. I believe at one point (I never saw this season) the biological grandmother tried to get custody, but despite the usual weird soapy twists and turns, Meg remained with her mom and dad. I think it was the last season of the show, so their family life ended on a positive note.



I've seen a bunch of negative Law and Order episodes, but at least one turned out okay for the adoptive family:



At the end, the baby remained with his adoptive father. Of course, his other parent had been murdered, so I guess you can say it was a bittersweet ending.

From the other side, Grace Under Fire had a substantial story arc dealing with the now grown (college age) son, Matthew, that Grace had given up for adoption when she was college age herself. At least one episode dealt with Grace and Matthew's (adoptive) mother coming to terms with how to deal with each other and Matthew.

Different Strokes dealt with this too, and there was a lot of conflict about it being an interracial adoption and Arnold and Willis not wanting to give up their roots.

Or it turns out that the biological parents are a morally ambiguous politician and a woman who has the tendency to set things on fire.

Yay, another fan. I seriously love Adoption Stories, but I'm sad that they seem to have stopped producing episodes. It would be neat, though, if they would film updates on the families profiled. Since most of the episodes are from 2003 and 2004, all of the kids are quite a bit older. It would be neat to see them so many years later.

And I also appreciate the diversity of the families presented. You have gay couples, straight couples, single parents, international adoption, domestic adoption, private adoption, open adoption, transracial adoption, you name it. I remember the episode you mentioned, Devon's New Family, from 2003. That was very sad. I just found an article about them from 2006. I wonder how they are all doing now.



There was something similar to that on Dharma and Greg. Dharma really wanted to adopt instead of getting pregnant, and they ended up with a baby boy. I think it was a transracial adoption, too. But I seem to remember that the adoption didn't work out? I wasn't a regular viewer of that show, so I'm not exactly sure what happened. Does anyone know?



That sounds...intriguing, to say the least! What show was that from??

Heroes.

On Heroes, Claire -- one of the main characters -- is adopted. Her younger brother may be too, but nobody makes a big deal out of it (except for when Claire wanted to find out who her biological parents were when her ability first manifested because she thought they'd be able to help her understand it) so it's never been said if he is too or not. She has a decent relationship with her biological parents, but she's always considered her adoptive parents to be her real parents.



And on Brothers and Sisters Robert and Kitty are in the process of adopting a baby after they couldn't conceive on their own.

I may be incorrectly remembering that Law and Order episode, but I thought it was the adoptive father who had been killed and the kidnapped baby ended up being returned to the adoptive father's partner. As the partner had no legal standing in the adoption, he was concerned - reasonably so - that he would not be allowed to keep their son.

As the episode ended, the birth mother - who had engineered the kidnapping of the baby which resulted in the death of the man's partner - asked that the child be told something about his mother. The man, restraining his anger, replied that she would likely be able to tell the child herself.

It was transracial, although the birth mother was white. She ended up taking the baby back after a couple of weeks, played out over a three episode arc, and Dharma and Greg eventually, in the series finale, decided to conceive a biological child. Years later, the same actress that played the birth mother is now on Army Wives, and at the start of the series was pregnant as a paid surrogate. She did let those parents keep their baby.

Judging Amy did a semi-similar long story line in which Amy's brother and sister-in-law adopted a bi-racial child. The birth mother surrendered her rights when the baby was a newborn, and they had legally adopted the child, but then the birth father (who had gotten back with the birth mother) reclaimed little Ned, who was by then a toddler. A bit later, though, the birth parents changed their minds again and Ned was returned to his adoptive family for good.

If they go with the present birth mother, that will also be a transracial adoption. The birth mother is played by Sonja Sohn (The Wire), and in a nice change, she is not poor or a drug addict, but a doctor making a free choice to give up her child (and is not conflicted or shamed about it as when Jing-Ma/Deb gave up her baby on ER.)

In this case, though, the twins weren't biologically hers.

On Sex and the City, the birth parents that Charlotte and Harry were originally thinking of adopting from were portrayed as white trash who told Goldenblatts that they changed their minds when they met them for lunch in New York. At least they didn't tell them AFTER the Goldenblatts took the baby!

Of course, the Goldenblatts later got Lily and then Rose.

[nitpick]Technically Webster was George's godson (George and Web's dad were teammates on their football team and close friends). I'm not sure if he formally adopted him but he was his legal guardian for some time. [/nitpick]

What I thought at the time was how often do you see two close friends decide to be godparents to each other's children and then one day you actually do have to take responsibility? It was good to see George (and wife Katherine) to step up to the plate - even though it was completely unexpected.


I know in many older TV shows (blanking specifically at the moment), adopted kids almost always seemed to be portrayed as feeling "out of place" in the family - especially if the couple had biological children before or after the adopted kid came along.

I remember "Soap" had an adoption storyline of sorts... the middle daughter Corinne found out she was adopted (she was over 18 IIRC) and was crushed to find out about it (understandable). Then her bio mom shows up to take her back (played by Inga Swenson) and tried to continually turn her against her adoptive parents (Chester & Jessica Tate).

Facts of Life had one when we learned the character of Natalie was adopted (she knew about it all her life) but wanted to know more about her bio parents and Blair offered to use her connections to get the info from sealed records. They finally had the info they wanted (they were waiting for a phone call from a judge who found the records) when...Natalie decided they weren't her parents and she didn't want to know after all.

Oh I dig that show, too! And an erlier poster talked about the young woman who placed her baby boy with the gay couple....and then she died after filming! I watched that and was like, "WHAT?" And yes I would love updates on "Adoption Story" as well. I appreciated the stories that were not "White Couple Seeks Newborn White Baby." Yes those stories were on, but we also had single mom and international adoption, single dad (the Diana family - he adopted teen boys) and many older children adoptions plus foster care turning into adoption.

The gay couple were one of my favorites because they out in a portfolio for a birth mom, thinking no one will ever pick them and the wait could be long and then they receive a call a week or so later and the birth mom has chosen them and wants them in teh delivery room! And she is delivering next week. There was another gay couple from California who adopted a pre-teen girl and they were so refreshing. Their parents were shown playing cards and just hanging out and so excited for a grandaughter.

We need updates! And please show the gay couples to all groups who oppose gay couples (or gay singles) adopting kids. These kids are on TV announcing: "I have a home with parents (or a parent) and I love it."

Speaking of The Wire, Season 4 had a bit of a story, though it was not one of the big ones. Namond, the big-talking son of a jailed gang enforcer father and a rather callous mother gets sort of adopted by an older couple when the biological father realises that the boy's life is going to end horribly if it keeps going the way it is going. We do not really see how the new family adjusts, but we do see Namond doing quite well in a scene in Season 5. He himself may not have necessarily changed drastically, but the environment and the people have changed his life for the better. Maybe his new family allowed him to appreciate what the world can do and his own potential.

Alternately, there is Randy, a cheery little schemer who has lived with foster parents and in group homes. When his foster mother get severely injured, a police officer who may feel responsible for the incident tries to help out Randy, even offering to take the boy in. His plea does not work and Randy gets sent back to a group home, where he is subject to attacks. We see him in Season 5, taller, meaner, crueler. Maybe he really has turned bad or maybe it is a front. At this point, it does not matter; that little kid whom he shoved into the wall still got shoved into the wall.

Gossip Girl is doing a particulary soapy storyline. Lily put her and Rufus' baby up for adoption 19 years ago without ever telling him, and now they've gone to look for their son. This last episode the adoptive father agreed to meet them, but lied that the son had died so as not to have another child taken away. Lily and Rufus's children from other relationships are now dating, which is squicky enough since they'll step-siblings if Lily and Rufus ever marry, but I wouldn't be surprised if their son eventually will show up anonymously all V.C. Andrews style and show an interest in one of his half-sisters.

It reminded me of a L&O: SVU episode where it turned out the mother had been murdered and her baby had been stolen and sold to a shady adoption ring. The biological father knew nothing about the pregnancy so he still had the right to take back his then 12 year old son, and I think the maternal grandparents also wanted custody. The bio dad won custody, but it seemed like he would set up a co-parenting deal with the adoptive parents.


Speaking of "The Wire", Kima never adopted Cheryl's (her lesbian partner) son, right? They were supposed to have the baby as a couple with donor sperm which I assumed would involve some sort of legal status for Kima, but then they broke up and she was Aunt Kima.

Glad I'm not the only one who is old enough to go to Punky right away! I only have a fuzzy memory of the arc, but they definitely made the process important and I recall a brief stint in a group home too. Though it was a bit fishy how quickly he got her as a foster given his age, singlehood, etc. I think they vet fosters for quite a bit

I'll add Different Strokes to this grouping. And note that even as a youngin' I found it odd that there were two major shows about shorter-than-normal AA boys being adopted into Caucasian families

This season of 30 Days had an episode in which a mother with two adopted children (who was herself an adoptee), who was against gay couples adopting, stayed for a month with a gay couple who had adopted four boys. The woman was absolutely insufferable. Every time someone tried to engage in a conversation with her about the issue she cried, accused people of attacking her, and ran away. She refused to see the value of gay couple adoptions even when she talked with young people who had aged out of foster care and just wanted any parents, gay or straight. (I believe on the show they said that many gay couples deliberately adopt children who would otherwise be ignored, like older foster children or special-needs children.) In the end she said that she was going to continue to fight against gay couples adopting and then was shocked, shocked I tell you, that the couple didn't want to be friends with her. In the end, the couple brought up a good (albiet disheartening) point--they always thought that if opponents of gay parenting would just spend a day with them and see that they were really good parents, they would change their minds. That turned out not to be true, because hatred that deep does not respond to things like logic or empirical evidence.

That is sort of what happened on Ugly Betty, and it has always bothered me. Amanda finds out she was adopted and that Faye Summers is her birth mom and all she talks about is her birth parents anymore. I know she was mad at her adoptive parents about it and wants to know who her dad is, but whenever she says "my mother," it makes me feel bad for the lady who raised her.

GeoBQn, when I started reading your post I was all upset that I missed that episode of 30 Days but as I read further I was relieved to have missed it. On "Adoption Stories" one social worker said gay couples make excellent adoptive parents of preteens as they can clearly identify with feelings of isolation and rejection. Plus gay couples often have to deal with their gay friends accusing them of "trying to be straight." I did a little research and the one white male gay couple who adopted two little African American boys (Something-Todd family?) went on to adopt two Afican-American pre-teen girls. It makes me cry when I see not the parents (well them too) but the grandparents who are just bursting with pride!

That really is a shame. There was a gay male couple I loved who adopted a little girl when she was eleven, I think. They talked about their first fight with her, and how she packed her bag after being sent to her room and waited for them to send her away. Broke my heart. And they were such a sweet family.

I thought that Arthur handled the adoption of Binky's little sister quite well. They showed some of the steps towards adoption (in a montage), and it took a year for them to go to China to meet Mei Lin. True, it was a bit simplified (the show is, after all, meant for small children, though it does seem to have quite an adult following!), but it was fairly realistic.

I thought Friends did pretty well as well, as far as sitcoms go.



They do indeed, but I guess for the sake of the show they had to bypass that so they could be together fairly quickly.

I think the worst example of soap adoption was on The Bold and The Beautiful, where the newly married Kristen and Tony, honeymooning in Africa, visited an orphanage and became enamored of one of the boys there.

After returning from their trip, Kristen couldn't stop thinking about the kid and after discussion with Tony, it was decided that they would return to Africa and adopt the boy.

Why was this awful? Because it took all of a few weeks! I'm not very versed in international adoptions, but the show would have you believe that all any US citizen needs to do is just show up at a foreign orphanage and pick out a kid. What, no home evaluations, personal and medical exams, evaluation of the child, vaccinations, etc?

Yea, didn't they say something about only wanting a trip to NYC?

Well, there ARE rotten people out there running adoption scams---jerking several couples along with no intention of giving the baby to any of them, if there even IS a baby, taking people's money to supposedly speed up the adoption process here or overseas, or providing people with an ill child and claiming it's perfectly healthy.

The show "Arthur" did handle international adoption quite well considering it was a children's show. It actually showed that it would take a year to go get her. Now another fave show, "The King of Queens" did a horrible job in the series finale. They went to China and it took about twenty minutes for the adoption happen and then Carrie was going to go get the baby alone. I think both parents need to go to China to adopt the baby but I could be wrong. But my quibble was the timing. "Let's think abiout adopting = baby in a day or two."

Yes! That was the family I referenced in my earlier post. They were making a salad and having their parents over and were so down to earth. Would love them as neighbors.

For these international adoption stories...especially the quick ones, do they show the new family arriving at customs?

Speaking of...Private Practice has an episode alluding to this. Dell had a patient who was thinking about adoption because she was a grad student, had no money/insurance for the baby etc...So, Dell wants OCW to do a side adoption thing. They were already in contact with a family (white, lawyers) who went through two failed private adoptions. So, the family and this girl click. But, after the meeting, the girl tells Dell that the family will pay all of her expenses and bills until the baby is born, and she feels a huge weight lifted off of her shoulders and now she feels she can have the baby and that she's started thinking of names and stuff. Dell questioned her seeming change of heart--and she said something about being able to change her mind about the adoption (but this would occur AFTER all her bills were paid). Basically, the situation was left up in the air and I don't know if they will resolve it at a later date when the baby is due.

IIRC, that was the Taubman-Walker family(Mark and Todd, I think). That's really cool!

(If this show is taken off the air when Queen Oprah takes over the network, I am really gonna be pissed...)

I think the only reason Amanda keeps going on about her mother is because Faye was a bigwig at Mode and in the fashion industry. She's constantly name dropping and playing the "Faye's my mom" card to get what she wants. I doubt Amanda would care about her biological mom at all if she were a nobody by Amanda's standards.

I think Dr. Cuddy on House recently adopted a baby as a single mother. I haven't seen any of those episodes yet, but I remember her asking Dr. Wilson to be a character reference for her.



Cool, thanks. Speaking of sci-fi shows, Clark Kent, the main character on Smallville, was obviously adopted. I never watched that show, but I think adoption was featured as a part of a few other characters/episodes, too.



Yes, I think you're right. It's been a long time since I saw that episode. I assumed that the non-legal dad would go on to officially adopt the baby after his partner's death, though of course it would be after the episode ended. In that respect, the episode made a good point about the need for both partners to have legal rights to the child.



Thanks. I only saw a couple of the adoption episodes, and I wondered where the heck the baby disappeared to.



That's what I remembered, too. Webster was George's godson, but I assumed that he and Katherine must have adopted him later on, right? It would be weird to spend your whole childhood in a guardianship situation. Not very legally secure. Of course, the whole thing might have been too complicated to address on a half-hour sitcom.

Then again, there was apparently this episode:



Maybe adoption was discussed more thoroughly then?



Later on, Corinne realizes (I think) that her birth mother is not a good person, and she returns to her adoptive family.



There was another episode later on when Natalie decides she is ready to track down her biological mother, and she meets up with her. I thought it was a really well done episode. Her adoptive mom was a little jealous at first, but it all worked out in the end.

Re: Adoption Stories:

I wish they would have had more single dad episodes. I remember just The Diana Family and The Cliver Family.

I had hoped the non-legal dad would end up with the child, as he was the only parent the little fellow had known. However, the impression I had as the episode ended was that the man thought his chances of adopting the baby were slight.
The baby now had "birth" relatives who might be interested and had some standing in the matter and there was clearly considerable hostility in the community to the idea of gay adoptions.

So help me out here: Was the partner of the adoptive dad implying that the birth mother would get the baby back since he had no legal standing or was he implying that she would have a role in the child's upbringing as he had no legal standing? I remember that episode but I am not clear on the ending.

Another great single dad. I believe he had a partner but adopted solo. His family was so excited for him!

It is too bad that some states allow gay partners to adopt but others do not. I know of a lesbian couple that adopted but one person went into it and presented herself as a single, hetero female. I believe they drew up legal papers afterwards naming the other partner as legal guardian. It was in international adoption and I know some countries do not allow gays, single or partnered, to adopt.

By his tone, I thought he was implying that he expected the birth mother herself to get the baby back since he had no legal standing.

Punky Brewster was one of my favorite childhood shows. I even bought all four seasons on DVD, LOL. Rewatching the show as an adult has been interesting. Though the later seasons got a little silly, I thought they addressed many serious topics with remarkable sensitivity. It would have been really easy to cop out and make everything okay with Punky's biological mother, Susan, but the show never went that route. They recognized that Punky had been abandoned, and there was no tidy, wrapped-up solution to Punky's feelings about that.

I think the timeline for the Punky thing was fairly realistic, actually. Henry finds Punky living in an abandoned apartment, takes her home, and calls the Department of Children and Family Services. They arrive, and naturally send Punky to a group facility, Fenster Hall. Henry goes to court and argues for his right to become Punky's foster father, and it was granted. Okay, this part was probably sped up/simplified for the show, since a real foster parent would have had to have taken classes and gotten certified. Punky remains a foster child until the end of season 2, when Henry's photo studio burns down, and he suffers a bleeding ulcer and is admitted to the hospital. Then you have a five-episode story arc, Changes, about whether or not Henry is fit to be Punky's father. The authorities take Punky away and send her back to Fenster Hall, and then to a prospective adoptive home. Punky, of course, wants to be with Henry. Eventually Henry regains his health, goes to a judge, and it's ruled that Henry can legally adopt Punky.



I remember them, too! That was The Spencer-Knerr Family from 2004. They adopted a nine-year-old girl named Andrea. I tried to find out more info on them, but the only thing I found was an obituary for the grandfather (not sure if it was the same grandfather on the show), who died in 2006. The article mentions two other little girls named Abby and Morgan, but I don't know if the couple adopted two more children, or if those are Andrea's cousins.



I found an article about them here. In addition to Ethan and Tony (featured in the episode), they have another younger child, and in 2007 finalized the adoption of twelve-year-old twins, Gemini and Giovanni.



I'm confused now, too. It has been a long time since I saw the episode, but I was left with the impression that the partner of the adoptive dad was going to allow the mother to be involved in the child's life. It never occurred to me that he wouldn't be keeping custody of his son. The story took place in Manhattan, so the judges should have been quite familiar with the idea of gay adoption. I can't imagine that they would have taken the baby away and given him to the birth relatives. Remember that the baby had already been legally adopted by his deceased partner. That means that the birth relatives have no claim to the child. The birth mother had already signed away all her rights. There's no legal way she would have gotten back a child that she had already given up rights to. The deceased legal parent's next of kin would have rights to the baby. That would be his partner (hopefully, if they had a domestic partnership), or else the deceased dad's brothers/sisters/parents, etc.

As I commented in my earlier post, that was the opinion I formed based on the partner's brief comment and his tone toward the birth mother as he left the court, not on anything that was specifically said. He was seriously taken aback at the hatred and hostility demonstrated towards his little family and the issue of gay adoption during the trial. He was understandably bitter.

And while the birth mother herself had signed off on the adoption and had no further rights, the birth father had seemingly been unaware of the adoption. Would he not - despite his serious criminal record - have some say in the situation? (I am not an American and sadly most of my information about such topics in US jurisdictions comes from shows like Law and Order).

Indeed, I could see the birth father marrying the baby's mother while he was in prison to bolster her case to get custody of the child, if that was at all feasible.

I am pretty sure that is incorrect that the surviving partner was the one who had actually legally adopted the boy so that his parental rights were never in question and the scene at the end was more an opening to her that maybe she would have a chance to know his son. The episode is called Phobia and you can see all the synopsis say clearly that he survivor was the adoptive parent.

There have been a few other episodes on the mothership and the other off-shoots that have had the rights of the non-adoptive gay parent come into question.

Nbc.com, tv.com, and several other sites - as well as the Canadian Bravo channel which aired the show about two weeks ago - all identify the adoptive father as the murder victim in their descriptions of that episode.

He would have a say. In most states (if not all) the father has to be given notice and also sign away his parental rights. If the father wasn't given notice, then he could claim violation of his right to due process, etc...

This isn't a big adoption story, but GA's Izzie gave up her daughter for adoption when she was 16. The story was revisited when the adopted parents tracked Izzie down to be a bone marrow donor. IIRC, Izzie wanted to meet the girl, but the girl didn't want to. (I don't completely remember, it could have also been that Izzie chickened out and didn't meet her, but I think the girl was the one who declined).

But I am pretty sure that isn't correct, I think they just say "we adopted" which is legal in NY. I just saw it like two weeks ago and there is no debate about custody at all and Briscoe and Green delivery the baby straight to the dad and we never see or hear about the baby again, we see the father but custody isn't an issue in the story other than why the murder took place in the first place. And none of the recaps mention a custody battle or the implication of one.

Though like I said there have been a gazillion variations of this story on all the L&Os.
I guess this is a moot point because the episode will seriously air in less than a month on one of the 8,000 reruns and how it was depicted.

eta: In fact it airs tomorrow (1/16) at 3 pm.

I'm going to rewatch the Phobia episode tomorrow just to make sure, but I think that's right, biakbiak. I also don't remember any insinuation of custody problems, and I know either one or both of the men had legally adopted the son. It was never implied that the adoption hadn't been done correctly.

Also, don't forget that New York has joint adoption for same-sex couples. I don't believe they had it in 2001, when this episode first aired, but they definitely have it now. However, they've had second-parent adoption since the early 1990s. I don't remember the episode well enough to say for sure, but one man could have adopted the child, and then a few months later, the other man could have filed for a second-parent adoption, making him also legally the baby's father.

That's how my parents did it, BTW. My biological mom gave birth to my brother and me, and then in 1993 (in CA) our non-biological mom adopted us in a second-parent adoption.

I thought the issue of the other partner not getting around to filing adoption papers as the second parent was alluded to at the trial. But of course I have now lost all faith in my memory ;)
In any event, I don't think it was ever a matter of the adoption being viewed as not being done correctly. What had changed involved the birth parents themselves.
No, there wasn't any mention of the adoption when Briscoe and Green returned the baby after the kidnapping. But why would there have been? At the time, his return simply seemed to be the bittersweet ending to a tragedy.