Just saw an preview on tv for this show about a guy named Troy Dunn who is hired by people to track down the birth mothers who gave them up for adoption.

I watched two episodes of this show a couple of nights ago (can't remember exactly) but I think they were the first to air. Gotta agree with you on the "wondering were to start the thread" thing. I couldn't decide if this was candid reality or non-fic or what.

The "locator" seemed like he was sincere enough, but the whole thing was a tad overproduced. I can see already they have a formula they're going to use for this show. Guess they're going to intentionally leave out many of the details so as not to reveal trade secrets, but it left me with an uneasy feeling. I don't know, maybe it's really a sweet show and I've just become too jaded by all the crap that we see on a weekly basis.

I'd be willing to give it another try.

Katie, mother of "the Locator", is a friend of mine. I'm pretty sure the reunions are real. A year or so ago she had me canvassing anyone I knew who wanted to be reunited with a loved one for a show they were putting together. I'm guessing this is the show. I only saw the reunion of young Katie with her Mom and family, and have to admit, I snurfed a tear or two. I'm such a sucker for this kind of happy ending.

Skycatcher, then do you know the background story between the Locator and his mother? I thought they said in the opening that the Locator got started by having to locate his own mother.

I've watched two episodes of this (and welled up during each one), but noticed that both of them ended up with the "locatee," for lack of a better word, planning to move to the city where their birth or other family lives. I have to wonder at the wisdom of that...

I hope at some point they do updates on how things are going. Like, did Mike(y) ever confront his father? And how did Katie's sisters react to having her around 24/7? For reals.

Some of it seems so set up, but the searchers do seem genuine. Their pain (and sometimes their hairstyles, heh) are all too real.

It bugged me in the Mikey episode that they kept harping on the fact that he had a brother who was searching -- and never mentioned the sister who had been calling random Mike Petersons for over 20 years trying to find him.

No Pudding, I don't know that story. Katie never shared it with me, or if she did I don't remember. There were other family events we talked about. It's a very close family, and with seven kids, a lot happens. But that's all Katie Dunn's story, and it's not my place to talk about their personal stuff. Sorry.

I corrected this thread title, so people can find the thread more easily.

I thought he said his Mother asked him to find her long lost family.

I wondered about this too....It seemed like an odd thing to me. As far as I know I have no missing family members, but uprooting my life and moving to be with people I don't really know seems extreme. I wish the show would have given us a better explanation for why they made this choice.

The "surprise" we found actually found your Mother,Brother, etc.....is not going to work as a device for very long. Certainly not for second season, (should there be one).

Well, thanks TV. I guess I needed another crappy show to cry during. I just watched the one with the guy looking for his brother, and was in tears the whole time. It has that Extreme Home Makeover effect on me.

It makes me sort of uncomfortable that it may be manipulated in a reality TV way, like when Katie was meeting him at the book signing, and she obviously knew that she was being on film, as she had good sound. It seems really tacky to set up things that are this emotional and personal.

Still makes me cry though.

Okay, there was way too much information left out of the episode about the twins. If the birth mom didn't consent, it wasn't a legal adoption -- and my sense is that the adoptive parents knew, even if only in the back of their minds, that something wasn't kosher, because they never pressed bio dad for more info, just took his word for it, la la la, can't hear you.

I understand that they wanted kids really badly, and maybe talked themselves into thinking it was all good...but that's a house of cards just waiting to fall. I found the adoptive mother's possessiveness, while understandable, a little defensive and smothering.

It's just frustrating that Troy Dunn asks all kinds of personal questions, but doesn't ask the obvious ones: do you have adoption papers, etc. It's emotional enough seeing reunions of people with "normal" stories...but when a crime has been committed (kidnapping, illegal adoption) how can you ignore the elephant in the room? To me leaving this stuff out erodes the credibility of the show.

rubyred,
I totally agree with your post. I had the same questions. And why did the husband have full custody? Did she contact a lawyer or the police when her children had vanished?

However I did cry my way through the episode.

At the begining of the show they say his mother ask him to find her biological parents. So far I have only seen happy reunions. It would be nice if they coculd do a follow up a few years later.

What channel is this on?

Can anybody fill me in on what happened at the end of the reunion between the twins and their biological mother? My DVR quit before the little blurb at the end. Did they end up keeping in touch?

The WE Channel on Saturday nights.

With reruns all week long.

This show made me cry, too. Tells us that there are lots of people out there looking to find something, someone, to give them affirmation and a sense of security or peace.
As for the girl who moved to Austin: based on the little information given about her adoption, I don't think she was on good terms with the "aunt" who hung up when called and was asked questions. She obviously knew the whole story but wouldn't tell the "niece" anything. That failing relationship probably prompted her to want to get close to her bio family.
The premise of the show is interesting but I wonder how many people don't want to be contacted. I'll keep watching to see if any of those stories make it on television.

I was thinking the exact same thing when I saw the premise for this show. Like I didn't meet my dad until I was 22 (he wasn't lost or anything it was just a bad divorce/ problems with my mom's family/ estrangement- you know, the usual) and it didn't really lead to much of a relationship. Of course I'm glad to have made contact, but I don't know, this show just seems like trouble brewing.

Your situation sounds like my husband's, except he didn't see his dad for forty years. Same thing, divorce, adoption, angry people. My husband is very interested in this show and the reactions of the people, especially the siblings. He has noticed differing reactions from them and I believe that's his interest as the siblings he encountered, who were adopted and therefore, nothing by blood, certainly didn't welcome him with open arms. My husband said he would have been happy had he been greeted with the tepid reaction from the two sisters in Austin who seemed confused and not that enthusiastic.
I loved the outcome from the Brock story. His brother was so proud and the little nephew was thrilled to have an "Uncle Brock" who was a pilot. I couldn't stop crying on that episode.

I haven't watched this show, but saw some commercials for it today. Do they mention whether or not the people they are trying to find have ever registered in the national database stating they want to be found?

My initial reaction to the entire premise of the show is that its very intrusive. I know its not everyone's story and some people didn't want to give their kids up for adoption, but there are a ton of reasons for going that route and to break contact completely then and not look back, and those reunions won't be all roses and sunshine. If both parties express an interest at some point, I'm all for it, otherwise, seems like there's hurt feelings for someone and an awkward outcome waiting to happen, possibly for a person who already has issues with abandonment/rejection from the initial adoption, and I'm not sure a TV camera should be there to catch it all and have final editing power over the footage, though its certainly possible we don't see the full extent of the awkwardness or heartbreak of the outcome.

In the article I read about this show, it said that the birth mother of the twins that were kidnapped from her, she sent a gift to the adopted mother with a note or something but didn't hear back. So, doubt they are in contact and yeah, they probably knew everything wasn't on the up and up. I guess since the kids are adults now, they went along with the show, but I doubt they would have if the kids were younger, because they couldn't have had a clean adoption and the birth mother would have been able to fight for custody.

We are wondering if these families are getting monetary compensation or something to aid them in the rebuilding of their lives. All the people are adults and have the power to reject the intrusion.
If the story with the twins is true, why didn't the mother seek out help to get them back, not send a note or whatever. That sounds crazy. I would have never given up the fight to get my babies back. Some of these stories don't make sense.

I think it's because of what we're not told. My guess is that the twin's adoptive parent's condition for appearing on the show was that they wouldn't be pressed on camera for the details of what was clearly a shady deal.

I think the bio mom sent the gift to the adoptive mom after meeting the twins. At least, that was the sense that I got from the previous post. And as for how she 'let' it all happen to begin with, I thought they did establish that she was barely out of her teens, if at all, when she left her much older abusive husband. She then had drug problems, etc., and basically did not get her life together for a few years, at which point the trail was cold.

I did like the bio mom. She seemed to go out of her way to make the twins feel comfortable. Not surprised at all that the adoptive mom refuses to engage any further. Still, the show is not doing itself any favors by ignoring obvious factual holes. IMO, if they can't get the participants to come clean, don't do a show on them!

Someone mentioned earlier how over-produced the show is. I guess they're damned either way -- obviously they would need to get the locatee's permission to film them in advance, so all the initial contact scenes between the locatee and Troy Dunn must be reenactments. I do think we see genuine emotion. But there's no way the audio quality would be that good if everyone involved wasn't wired for sound. And given how often I've had to resort to closed captioning in the past (hello, BBC America!) in order to understand people, I'm grateful for the clear sound.

Yes, that's what I was saying. After the initial reunion meeting, the birth mother sent the gift to the adoptive mother but didn't hear anything back. I'm sure the adoptive parents didn't want to take part, but that the kids, who were adults, made the decision to try to meet her. Hopefully the kids will be in touch with her, whether the adoptive mother wants to forget the shady adoption or not.

From the article I read there was no question, the kids were taken from her by the husband, as in kidnapped, and he put them up for adoption without her permission, and she did search for her kids. So, she acted like a mother and it sounded like you could tell during that episode, that she wanted to know how they were now and growing up, because she never intended to miss out on their upbringing. Very sad.

I got the impression that she was young and uninformed, possibly taken advantage by the older father. Who knows, she may have been lied to or threatened. The sons seemed to want to know her while the adoptive mom seemed threatened in her position. The whole story, for all involved, was very sad.

I just watched the rerun of the young girl who was reunited with her birth mother, followed by her her two full sisters and her birth father. Wow....was the meeting with the sisters awkward or what? The second sister, especially, acted like she was meeting a new neighbor or something. A polite yet distant hug and......not much else.

I have a feeling that those two sisters are NOT going to appreciate the new sister coming into their lives. I hope I am wrong but that one just did not give off a good vibe. I see the birth mom as being torn between wanting to be close to her new found daughter and the daughters she already has.

The dad seemed nice however his comment on "you made my day" was a little underwhelming. "You made my day" is how I can describe a foot rub....not a long lost child.

Stupid show makes me cry. Every. Damn. Time.

I am sure that there are stories w/o the happy ending. However, will we ever see those? Probably not.

Troy has been doing this long before the tv show. He does tell the look-ees in the beginning that there are 4 possible outcomes.

1- He cannot find the missing person
2- He finds the missing loved one, but discovers s/he is deceased.
3- He finds the loved one, but that person does not wish to be found.
4- Everyone gets to meet.

I think because of the possibility Option 3, is why he asks the Look-ee if he has any message he would like to have passed on to the missing person. In case that person wishes to remain "lost," you still know they have heard you message of, "I love you, I miss you."

So far the story of the twins has been the most interesting. Shady adoption indeed.

I've been out of town and didn't have cable. Were the twins on Dr. Phil? My mom was watching and thought that these were the same people. She was overcome with emotion but the story was different or maybe more truthful. Anyone see this?

Yeah, I don't know about that. I wonder how their families that raised them feel about it? It does seem an awful lot like abandoning the only family you've ever known in favor of people you've just met. The dark side of adoption "reunions" (beyond the warm-fuzzy honeymoon stage you see in the media) is that a lot of times they don't work and don't lead to any kind of real relationship. You essentially have two strangers getting to know one another, and sometimes they find out that they just don't have much in common.



Exactly. And, also, sometimes people don't want to be found. I've never met my biological father, but I have no interest in searching for him. I feel my life is complete with the two parents who raised me. I can just imagine my reaction to some intrusive television show coming in and telling me that he (or biological half-siblings) has been searching for me for years and wants to "reunite" on television. That's a huge disruption to someone's life! And wouldn't you feel pressured into doing it, even if you didn't really want to? I got that feeling from one of the people on this show. I forget his name, but he was the one whose father took him and left, leaving the biological mom and two grieving older siblings behind. They were way more emotional about this reunion than he was. He had no memory of them, while they had been waiting and hoping for over thirty years. It seems like a mismatch, and one that potentially could lead to even more heartbreak for the poor searchers in the end.

He did move to Indiana to be with his family, so maybe it was just his personality that prevented him from showing much emotion. I do find it interesting that he never confronted his father about what happened. Not knowing why I had been denied my mother and siblings for so long would drive me crazy. I would at least ask him what happened.

I'm watching right now and this new episode is interesting in that it has a slightly unsympathetic finder- a mother who gave up custody rights to her daughter during a nasty divorce and while the mother had a drinking problem. But now that she's been diagnosed with leukemia she wants to see her 22 year old daughter before she dies. The had been in contact until 10 years ago, so there's definitely some apprehension on the daughter's part. I thought it was good that Troy chose not to mention the mother's cancer until just before the meeting, so it wasn't like the daughter was being guilted into going.
The mom strikes me as a bit of a drama queen to be honest, but they've visited and kept in daily contact since the reunion.

jackiecarr, as someone who knows the mother quite well, I'd say you were spot on in your assessment.

Oh, and PART of the reason she wanted to find the daughter was to let her know that the cancer could be hereditary, and that it's something that Cassie needs to keep on top of. However, she's very much a drama queen, although she isn't the one who contacted the show, her mother-in-law did that.

What - no love for the dude looking for his two sisters? That was a nice story. His wife gave him the "present" of a search for his to sisters as they were separated as children. I liked how, when the guy was introducing his stepson to his sisters, he said, "This is our son..." Class act.

And the woman looking for her sister who was younger than her? Frankly I thought the younger sister looked older than the older sister! I choked up a little when the birth mom said, "Oh I couldn't die until I found you" or something like that.

I thought that was good too. Although I was disappointed there was no follow up given.

The one with the daughter looking for her dad and him saying, I'm just sitting here waiting for her to reach out to me and tell me she needs me then I'll be there. I'm glad Troy called him on his BS. He really is a big kid.

I liked the woman looking for her godmother. It seems she and her stepmother have very different visions of what their relationship was while she was growing up. But it did appear that the stepmom did love her and her children. I wonder how that will work out in the long run.

I agree, that dad was a bit of a jerk. I think the new wife had a lot of influence on him and kind of liked the wedge between the two of them. Like how she had to sit on the couch while Troy was talking to the dad. And judgemental much, Dad? "When I was growing up you were married when you had a baby." Well, we used to have separate drinking fountains, too....times change. Support your daughter and get to know your grandkid. I did like how the daughter called out the dad at the end: "If you disappear again, that's it. I am not searching anymore."

I just saw this as a rerun last night. I don't know. We only saw a few minutes of them all together. The sisters may have just been taking it all in or trying not to come react too strongly and overwhelm Katie, who flew there thinking she was going to meet a detective and next thing she knew, she met not only her mom, but sisters she didn't know she had and her bio father too. Katie did seem rather shellshocked at times.

I finally saw the episode with the twins put up for adoption. It was certainly a shady adoption adn my questions are the same as other posters: How did the dad get around the mom not giving up custody? Did he want to get back at the bio mom for something? I agree that the adoptive mom probablay made it clear that she was not to be pressed for any details on the adoption orneed to provide proof of the adoption becasue frnakly I doubt there is any.

As much as I like Katie finding her birth mom, her re-run is on all the time.

I too want to know how the father was able to get his twins adopted without the mother's consent. If he said the mother died, where is the death certificate? If he said she gave them up freely, where is her consent to the adoption? If he said she was a bad mother who abandoned the boys, let's find her so we can get her signature that she is ok with the adoption. Too many questions left unanswered.

It's back. This sappy little show never fails to make me cry. I felt so bad for Wendy. So Mom was abused by her first husband? That's how I am interpreting it when her letter mentioned he had "demons." I think Mom just wanted to start over with hubby #2, and the kids were a reminder of all that went wrong. The fact that her in-laws wanted the kids played right into her wishes. I'm hoping the fact that her her first husband was black and the kids bi-racial had no influence on her decisions.

Yeah for the 5 sisters! Five daughters, five different fathers. Wow. Hopefully with the support of her older sisters, the youngest one, Sara, will be able to become more stable. Maybe marry her boyfriend/baby's father and move out of his parent's house.

re:the first show
It never ceases to amaze me the cruety of some "mothers"(and fathers)Some kill the kids(Casey Anthony etc)some just kill them slowly...I was astounded :(



Another messed up situation but at least it had a happy ending.I thought it was so sad when one of the older girls said she likes her traumatic brain injured mom better than the way her mom was before :( so telling...


about this show-I think the reunion stuff is real but so much of the in between parts seem badly acted-the shots between Troy and his Mom.And also the scenes where he sees something on the computer then calls his wife over to look-just kind of contrived...
but I set it to record on my DVR because I love a good sob story

Just got done watching the show with Wendy and her mother "Jennifer", and I'm trying to stay nonjudgnmental but, what a bitch.
Jennifer's letter to her daughter was revealing in its self-absorption, deflection of blame and, ability to compartmentalize the psychological abuse (for this is what I would call it) she perpetrated on her children. Her comment she had been lucky in all aspects of her life was unbearably cruel. Her past has nothing to do with the bond and connection that she's depriving her children of. She speaks of success in life but she has not succeeded as a mother. She sounds very superficial. It also sounds like she slowly started withdrawing from her children as she nourished thoughts of a new beginning and, the reason she sent them away had nothing to do with wanting her ex in laws to have a piece of their son (his kids). I only hope her daughter does finally have the chance to face this woman and ensure her secrets are finally revealed and accountability faced. She cannot avoid the inevitable.

Another week, more tears.

Iraq must be brutal because Chad looked older than his 25 years. He and his dad looked more like brothers, but there was a definate family resemblance. His dad and family were so accepting of the surprise older brother - good for them.

I would love to be a fly on the wall when Alexia's mother finds out that Alexia went behind her back to find her dad. Sounds like Dad's sisters kept telling him that one day Alexia will come looking for him. They knew Mom was a b**ch and it would only be a matter of time before Alexia got curious.

I hope she does well with the boyfriend. They were so cute together, but so young.

HalfBaked that revelation may come sooner rather than later: today Dr. Phil did a show on Troy Dunn and "The Locator", and one of the stories featured was Wendy's. Dunn said he thinks the deal is that "Jennifer" is living a lie: that no one in her upscale community knows that she previously had two biracial kids. And Wendy got to call her a "coward" - although she says some part of her still wants to forgive her, though she fears another rejection.

FWIW, Troy talked to "Jennifer" about talking to or going on Dr. Phil, and she declined. Mother of the Year.

rubyred

Thanks for the update. "Jennifer" is a real selfish bitch, imo. It's not as if she gave up two babies for a legal adoption, because then I'd say leave her alone, and respect her privacy. These kids were handed over later in their life to poor relatives, and all in order for "Jennifer" to make a new life with her new white boyfriend, and new pure white baby.
UGH. Karma....that's all I'll say.

Just saw the one about the mother separted from her oldest son. Not ashamed to say it made me tear up at the reunion. I'm glad the mother found a focus and a reason to stop drinking. I have to wonder if there would have been a tragic end to the mother if the parents had stayed together. I'll bet the son would have turned out with a lot more baggage if he had to deal with the violence that would have gone on.
I find it interesting that the father is still living with the son and his family and I would be interested to know the back story as I am sure there are two sides to this situation. To me, when the son told his father that he was going to see his mom, it seemed like the dad looked a bit trapped and scared about what could happen.

Anyone know any more info on this episode?

This show is phony as hell. I watched two episodes last night and actually LOL at the setups. Gimme a break.

Wow, this show is so addictive. I turn it on, get hooked on the story, and then sob my way through the half hour.

I feel terrible for the ones that don't work out. Like the women whose mother abandoned her and her brother and refused to see them because she still hates the father (who's no longer even living). Ridiculous.

I've been catching all the reruns lately, and I, when not reaching for my hankie, noticed something.

In one episode, there was a dad who has stage 4 cancer, who was looking for his son (Michael Greco was the dad). In another episode, there was a mom who has leukemia who was looking for her daughter (Mom is Carolyn Funk).

Now, here's what I noticed. When they were talking about taking on the dad case, Troy asked his team if the dad had paid child support, because if he hadn't there was no way he would help him. His team assured him that the dad had been paying child support.

Now, when Troy was interviewing the Carolyn's daughter, the daughter said she wanted to ask her mom why she never paid child support. Troy still helped reunite them, even though they never said that Carolyn had paid child support.

How the heck is that consistent? It really irritated me that they would help the mom even though she didn't pay support, but they wouldn't have helped the dad.

Haha I'm glad I'm not the only who thinks this show is pretty fake. I'm sure that some aspects of the show are real but it's so obvious some of it is at least scripted. Like how when he writes on that clear board and when he walks away "modestly" after reuniting someone ugh, it takes away from what could be a great inspirational show imo.

I always just catch this show whenever it's on and I don't care if it's more staged than actual reality, it's still interesting. That said, have new episodes aired yet? I caught one the other night but wasn't sure if it was new or a rerun where a daughter was looking for her father and was desperate because she had stage 4 cancer. They found the dad living with his sister and they were reunited. Of course the dad says he would pick the daughter up every weekend and then one weekend he went to pick her up and the mom had relocated. The daughter says she remembers saying see you next weekend and never seeing the dad again. When he told her his story she just looked at him. At lot of years have passed for them both but it made me wonder what really happened. I'm glad that new episodes will be back though.

Yep, the one with the cancer-stricken daughter was new the other week. I thought it was odd, too, how they got split up. They both said she was 12/13 years old at that last weekend together. She would have been in Jr. high school. At least old enough to be able to look up someone's phone number or remember an address when she was older. I was like, "Don't you remember moving away that week between visit's with your dad?"

That episode was partnered with the alcoholic/drug abusing dad who, now sober, was looking for his teenage daughter. She was in her first year of college if I remember correctly. She was very interested to reconnect with her parternal grandmother, but didn't want much to do with Dad. That was one of the more realistic reunions I thought. She had a lot of justifiable anger towards him, but I hope, for her sake, she is able to work through that for her own future. Did notice how Dad co-signed for her rooming expenses. I wonder if he offered or she asked?

Last week's episode was the NFL player looking for his dad. Dad had died, but he did reunite with an aunt, uncle and [half?] sister. There wasn't a written update for that episode so I'm wondering if it didn't work out?