When advertisers want to get a celebrity to endorse [which means advertise] their product, you'd think they'd get someone whose fame has something to do with the product. You'd think that.

But does anyone think that Tiger Woods is eager to buy ... a Buick? Maybe a Lincoln, maybe a Bentley.

And is anyone choosing a Sharpie instead of a Magic Marker because "it scores for David Beckham?"

What bugs me about that one is that we never see Beckham, only a pair of arms and those could be anybody's.

I'm sure Tiger would buy a Buick for the right $$$. Oh, wait, is that cynical of me?

They most likely are anybody's. If they actually scored (no pun intended) David Beckham for their commercial, they would have shown him. They're not going to pay his most-likely exorbitant fees just to show unrecognizable body parts; they're going to milk that mug for all it's worth.

I could sorta understand Needless Markups or some other fancy store having Paris Hilton as a celebrity endorser, but a hamburger chain? And then to have her crawling around on a car or something? I hope someone lost a job over that one.

Buick works for Tiger Woods merely because the PGA tournament includes the Buick Open golf tournament.

(There's no Bentley Open.)

Longest running...Lindsay Wagner, calm voice, looks have remained so-so, does she own part of the mattress biz?

Gwyneth Paltrow and Estee Lauder. Yes, Estee makes great makeup (their lipsticks are particularly awesome). Yes, there's a reason their "classic perfumes" like White Linen and Beautiful are called "Classics". Yes, they own half of the beauty brands sold in any major department store. But...Gwyneth Paltrow? I could see her with, say, an English brand (since she's pretty much become an ex-pat over the years) or some fancy-schmancy all-natural brand (The Body Shop?), but not Estee Lauder.

Then again, I haven't quite figured out why Drew Barrymore is whoring herself out for CoverGirl, so what do I know?

One of the most famous misuses of a celebrity endorsement was when Sophia Loren - for many fans the essence of voluptuous, sexy Italian womanhood - did a commercial for a water purifier. She actually stood in the middle of a standard issue kitchen set, an apron around her waist, extolling the virtues of a water purifier. The mind boggles, especially since, apart from her own lines of perfume and eyeglasses, she never did another endorsement.

One that probably should have been ridiculous but IMHO wasn't, was Lord Laurence Olivier for Polaroid. The ad itself was stark in its simplicity, and Lord Olivier, considered by many to be the greatest actor in the English-speaking world, did the ad with the same conviction he brought to Shakespeare, yet without a drop of overplaying. It ran for a long time and I have no doubt that it sold a lot of Polaroid cameras.

Henry Fonda. GAF. That is all.

Orson Welles for Paul Masson wine. "We will sell no wine.....before it's time." I think he was pretty much immobile at this point in his career.

Except that if he is not a compensated endorser, then they are in for a hell of a lawsuit. I'm guessing there are several tiers to his compensation schedule and that this is all the Sharpie company was willing to budget.

Is the hand drawing the football a right hand or left? Because I think Beckham is a lefty.

I'm pretty sure you're correct, wormlegs. They're using his name only, which is probably lots cheaper than using his image, which is loads cheaper than having the man there in person to deliver lines.

Jamie Lee Curtis' Activia yogurt commercial. Ugh.

Also, anyone who did the Pro-Active commercials.

I might try one brand of athletic shoes over another because Michael Jordan wears/endorses them, but underwear? Hanes could probably charge a lot less for a 3-pack of briefs if they didn't have to pay Mike [and Kevin] millions to do those ridiculous ads, in which, by the way, it's pretty clear that they're not even in the same studio at the same time.

Beats the heck out of Mike and Cuba "Do Anything for A Buck" Gooding, Jr.'s "I'm wearing your underwear" ads, though.

Everybody yell if you believe that Lauren Bacall shops at Tuesday Morning! <crickets chirping...>

I just saw Jessica Alba for some kind of foundation...don't remember the brand but you could use a dial and get the color as dark or as light as you want. Cool I guess, but I find it hard to believe she uses it.

Probably my favorite celebrity endorsement is La Liz for White Diamonds. I just love it. I think it's because it's always shown around Christmastime and since it's been around for oh, 20 years, it brings me back to childhood.

The two things I thought when I saw that ad:

1. If your "perfect shade" uses more of the dark or the light foundation instead of a 50/50 blend, you're going to end up with a lot of the lesser used shade left over. What a waste.

2. Yeah, no, I don't think Jessica Alba is using that foundation in her day-to-day life.

Yeah - that's what I didn't get - why not just buy a foundation that is a close match to the color you need? Seems like this product would mean a lot of wasted makeup.

Gasp! Next you're going to tell me all those actresses who shill hair dye don't color their own hair at home. I refuse to believe Sarah Jessica Seabiscuit is paying a colorist to make her hair look that awful.

Bwah!


I don't get this product at all. Is it for people who can't figure out what color they need in the store, so they can play around with it at home? Or for people who tan frequently or need a big range of colors? It just seems like a stupid waste of shades that you would never use, like those makeup sampler kits where you wind up throwing out the 9 tubes of wacky purple lipstick and are left with the one color you should have bought to begin with.

Topic? Wilford Brimley and his mangled "di-a-BEE-tus" is invariably like nails on a chalkboard. If you're trying to convince me you have the disease, at least pronounce it correctly!

I hate the way Wilford Brimley says it, too! I thought he was the only one who said it like that, until my aunt said it like that. I also hate seeing the Wilford Brimley ads because several years ago, I thought I heard he died and was all certain he was dead until I saw one of those ads, and now they just creep me out, like he's risen from the dead.

Madonna is inexplicably in a Sunsilk ad. It was weird, but possibly very effective, because it held my attention as I was trying to figure out what the ad was for, and I've since remembered what the ad was for. But I'm not going to go out and buy Sunsilk. (Also, I liked that ad better than the blondes and brunettes hate each other ads, they'd been running for a while there.)

What's weird is that I saw a new commercial with him a few weeks ago and in the course of said commercial, he says both "di-a-BEE-tus" and "die-uh-beet-ees".

I don't like the Pro-active commercials either. Yeah, I get that you got pimples, but clearly your career wasn't hampered by it.

I'm surprised that Dennis Hooper's financial planning commercial hasn't been mentioned. Somehow, the star/director of Easy Rider and all-around crazy man fits this thread's title(s) to a "T".

Does anyone else love the Janice Dickinson Orbit commercial? I think it's hilarious!

Of course they do, and William Shatner goes to Priceline when the producers aren't paying for his airfare.


THAT? Is some funny shit!

NO. As someone says you don't even see him. If's he's going to endorse something, I want to see the whole package...and I do mean package!

How about those multi-celeb Macy's ads: Jessica Simpson, Martha, Trump, who else. My brain stops when DT blow dries his "hair." As long as Rachel Ray doesn't shill for them too.


Does she really endorse it or are they just using pictures of her. She still has to approve the use of her pics, but endorsing seems like a strong word for it.

Brimley needs to stay away from the oatmeal too. He lost any "grandfatherly" cred when he was an evil henchman in "The Firm" movie.

There are pictures of her throughout the years floating around, and then at the end it's like, "Change your look" or something like that.

Please don't give them any ideas. I will stab my eyes out if I have to hear her screechy voice screaming, "MARTHA, THESE SHEETS ARE SO YUMMO!"

I actually love those Macy's commercials. I even feel my white hot hatred for Martha Stewart simmer down a degree or two, because she's laughing at herself so adeptly.

Not a fan of those commercials but I do love the one little bit where the guy talks about how much time it took to design everything and get it just right.

"But I designed two bottles ... how many things did you do?"
"Oh, about 2000 or so?"

And then that little dayum, girl headshake of his after.

*snort!*

Oh, God that's good! That perfume commercial where she broke into the store and goes to jail because "I had to have it" got on my last nerve.

But how else would you know that Proactiv helped P. Diddy moisturize his situation and preserve his sexy? (shudder)

That was Usher and Martha Stewart. I like when he says, "Girl, when do you sleep?"

I love the new Macy's ads with Trump doing the punchlines: "So very shallow." And: "My ties are beautiful. They don't need music." I assume he knew he was making fun of himself.

I finally saw this today and there is no way that those short, fat fingers belong to David Beckham, unless there's some George Costanza clone out there who just happens to have the same name.

I'm not sure the Trump would make fun of himself. He probably does believe that his "ties are beautiful and they don't need music."

On the other hand, I'm starting to get the impression that whenever I shop at Macy's that I'm going to have to wade through a huge smorgasbord of major and minor celebrities in order to get any shopping done.

Lindsay Wagner's "Sleep Number" bed commercials crack me up, because she is so obviously doing it for the paycheck only. Her droning voice and complete lack of animation, apart from simply breathing, make for possibly the most boring celebrity endorsement in history. I've often thought that if I had trouble sleeping, I'd simply send away for the free CD. I could drift off to Lindsay's funereal rasp and save hundreds by not buying the product.

Though we don't speak a word of Spanish, my friends and I ocassionally spend a Saturday night watching Sabado Gigante on Univision. Danged if they don't have that Macy's ad on there in Spanish ... still has The Donald and Martha Steward, but no Jessica or Usher. Instead it's Santana and (I think) Mariah. Couldn't tell ya' what they said, though.

I just saw an ad with Madonna (!) hawking for shampoo!

Seriously? Is Madonna, one of the richest women in the world, that hard up for money, that she has to do shampoo commercials??

And even if it turns out that they are sponsoring her new album/tour/whatever, does that mean that she is so poor that she needs help with sponsorship, and was willing to sell out for a couple of extra bucks on top of her millions and millions of dollars? Or is it just the latest in a looonnnng line of millionaires/billionaires who will do anything for a buck?

Maybe she really likes the shampoo?

[Hold the tomatoes! It could happen... maybe]

Ashforth:



I'm ashamed to admit it never even occurred to me that this product potentially is very wasteful. I always have to buy the lightest shade of foundation, so this product is definitely not for me, even if I weren't a foundation snob, which I am. I have to say that although I think Jessica Alba is a pretty girl, the response she evokes from so many men seems puzzling to me--like, is she really that hot? If so, what is it, specifically, about her? (I will not easily forget the time Stuart Scott, noting her presence at a Golden State Warriors game on "Sportscenter", commented that he would like to "sop that up with a biscuit.") But I will say she looks stunning in that ad.

I just don't get the appeal of that makeup. You still have to decide which shade of ink on the label is closest to your skin tone, and ink-on-paper and skin just aren't ever the same color, quite.

Yes! I really don't care about some over priced yogurt that's supposed to help me go to the bathroom, but JLC saying "occasional irregularity" makes me hate it and her even more.

Jamie, I realize that the beauty salon IS actually twice the cost of the barber shop, but trust me, it's so worth it.

ATTN: Corbin Bernsen

You are on the wonderful Psych.

You don't need to do cheap-ass commercials for legal services.

Also, Salli Richardson?

You're on Eureka. Leave the Midnight Soul commercials to your husband I've never heard of.

Or David Duchovny with his hands in enclosed globes like in Zoolander.

The funny thing about RR is that she was discovered in a Macy's in Chicago so this would be up her alley.

Now that's funny! ROFL
Mr. Sunfire can't stand her. He will love this name.

Keith Richards will be the new face of Louis Vuitton? At first I thought this was another celebrity/product mismatch, but considering that his face looks like a worn old travel bag, I guess it's appropriate after all.