From tv.zap2it.com:

ETA source of description.

My expectations are not too high.

My expectations aren't too high, either. Can't wait to see what Ryan's JOTW (Job-of-the-week) is going to be. The serial killer is going to have to be one fast dude to work during an eclipse to rack up a body count.

Sylar? Is that you?

This is CSI Miami - everything is possible. BTW I love Ryans job description. Next week he could be Kyle's babysitter.....

It looks like the Bad Science crew is back. What planet is this Miami on? Because on Earth, there is no solar eclipse predicted for anywhere near Miami in 2007. Then again, it seemed to take everyone by surprise, so I guess the law of gravity which controls the Earth-Moon-Sun motion, unlike speed limits, is just a suggestion.

Then, coming out of the commercial break just before we meet the wolf, the night scene of Miami shows a full moon. Must be a different moon, because solar eclipses only occur during a NEW moon, and we know that two weeks haven't elapsed because CSI:M cases are always solved in 24 hours or less.

Did they actually just show everyone looking DIRECTLY at the eclipse, with no eye protection at all? How can they completely disregard science? They shouldn't need anyone to tell them how stupid that scene was. Apparently an eclipse is also accompanied by a loud rumbling noise, somewhat like a jet plane. That whole scene reminded me of something out of Independence Day!

Was anyone besides me thinking when Delko said that the Mario dude had a pet wolf, "so does HoCaine!" ?

So I guess 'welcome back' Ryan to the land of re-instatement?

And awwwwwwwwww, the Calleigh/Jake puppy-dog eyes. <barf>

Another random thought....what the hell have they done to poor Frank?

Edited because I spelled freakin' Calleigh's name wrong initially.

That was my first reaction too. But everyone in Miami seems incredibly stupid based on this show.

This show is really scrapping the bottom of the barrel in terms of actors. This week's episode had their second 7th Heaven alumnus of the season, Tyler Hoechlin who played the ever irritating Martin for a few seasons. On Miami he played the not too terribly bright pool boy. He should of been the werewolf because of his bushy eyebrows. In most European folk tales men who become wolves sport unibrows but that would be too much attention to detail in this show. Instead we have poor Alexx rambling on nonsensically about bad mojo. Khandi Alexander deserves an award for delivering those lines without laughing.

Also, good job giving away the killer CSI: Miami! As soon as I saw the telescope I knew that was the killer since people who like astronomy must be freaks. And the killer looked awfully tan for someone with his disorder. And those were some of silliest reasons to kill someone that I've ever heard.

Was Ryan wearing a leather Member's Only jacket? If he wasn't... some designer really needs to look harder for ideas.



Or censured for subscribing to the Caruso school of acting.



Well those cardboard box/tin foil viewing things by Versace weren't hitting the streets until next month...

eta... had more snark, last poster, didn't want to double up

Jesus fucking Christ, what the hell is wrong with Calleigh? This is really just fucking ridiculous at this point. Why does she go back to that asshole over and over again? Somebody please tell me now. Especially after hot Eric Delko tells you I would do anything to be with you even if it meant quitting my job. She's officially the stupidest woman on the planet.

The stuff with Alexx drove me up a wall. Why would a scientist believe all of that. And yes, if I were Khandi Alexander I would've handed the script back to the writers with a bit red "NO" written on the cover page. Mojo?

How did Wolfe come back? Why would they tease us with that storyline for months only to have it resolved so anti-climactic?

I thought it was really patronizing how all the women of the show were all gung ho about omens and werewolves and curses, and the men kept rolling their eyes. Cause us womyns are just so silly. They were probably on their periods.

Guys, remember posting about the episode should occur after it has ended its first showing on the East Coast i.e. 11pm ET/8pm PT.

With a sub-forum that doesn't have a dedicated mod, that means not opening a new episode thread until after its first showing in the US.

If these rules sound unfamiliar, I recommend you read our site FAQ.

I think it should also be pointed out that a solar eclipse takes way more than just a few minutes to complete itself, so the idea that these pool monkeys were so distracted by that for a protracted length of time is just ludicrous.

Almost as ludicrous is someone becoming a serial killer because he can’t go out in the sunlight, having an allergy to that, so he decides to just start killing everyone he can see with his telescope who happens to stay indoors most of the time. Worst Motive Ever.

Get a grip, CSI:Miami writers, if in fact you exist and aren’t just a bunch of monkeys writing at random on your keyboards.

Positives –

Agent Orange actually looked normal for a change.

HoCaine’s presence was limited to three or four scenes where he is supposed to be a bad-ass, but simply comes across as an ass instead.

Negatives –

Wolfe is re-instated. Why? I liked him better as the outsider, screwing up everyone’s cases as an independant asshole.

Calleigh’s boyfriend, who is still a creepy weirdo with strange facial expressions.

Samantha, the new girl who operates the Star Wars computer wall of glass. I hope she is only on board in case they need to kill somebody off to get higher ratings. . .

I apologize to the Mods for responding to this topic prematurely....



LOL. I just LOVE this comment!

I completely missed the scientific illiteracy regarding the eclipse, as my mind was bended by the whole "wolf DNA" thing. I ask people who paid attention in science class: is there such a thing as "wolf hormones" (are hormones species specific?)? I'm also going to guess that there is no flippin' way that you can alter your own human DNA by injecting said "wolf hormones."

Good gravy... let's just say I would love to see the CSI: Miami writers on Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?

That final speech of HoCaine to Ryan may just be the hammiest piece of weapons-grade ham that's ever been broadcast on TV.

And, "mojo?" "Mojo"???

That was out of control. The whole first few minutes I was totally distracted by the fact that none of the witnesses were rendered blind by staring directly at a total solar eclipse. I was lucky enough to be present during the (partial) solar eclipse in NY a number of yrs ago, and we had to look at it through some special contraption.

What is the story with the acting? Khandi Alexander was a respectable actress on other programs, it seems like every single actor on this show deteriorates exponentially however long they are on the show.

Finally, if that killer was unable to go out in the sunlight due to a skin condition, WHY DID HE STAY IN MIAMI???????? He seemed like he had enough money. Why wouldn't you move somewhere that the sun is not so strong?

I won't get into the whole wolf situation.

I guess it was time for the writers to atone for HoCaine wearing his sunglasses indoors so often.



Agreed. But I’d like Wolfe even better if he was outside the show (not on it at all).

Does HoCaine have such a bad memory that he forgot that Wolfe used to work for him? Why is he back to calling him “Mr. Wolfe” again?



It makes me think of Minority Report, where it was fine, because that was science fiction. But why on earth did they decide to use it on this show? Seriously, the hell? There’s nothing remotely like that in the real world, is there?

I thought HoCaine always addressed Ryan as "Mr. Wolfe"; yet he always calls the rest of his people by their first names. I never could figure out why, but then again, this is HoCaine.

Count me in as one of those totally perplexed about the whole "Ryan loses his job then has to work a different job every week" plot being so suddenly stopped with no explanation as to how or why Ryan was "re-instated".

Also agree that Calleigh is indeed the stupidest woman to still be all gushy over Jake.

And I'm still laughing over Alexx's whole "mojo" speech! What a crock of....

My mind was reeling from the idea of Mario keeping a pet wolf! Wolves make very bad pets because even though they look like dogs you can't really domesticate them. In order to keep control of the wolf it would have to perceive Mario as the alpha in the pack and if the alpha makes a misstep then the wolf lower in the pecking order would make sure Mario was good and dead rather than protecting the body of an injured leader.


No, Alexx and Agent Orange are stupider since they were buying into eclipse superstitions. And also Agent Orange was still sleeping with her abusive ex-husband last season. Jake is just a douche.

First, mea culpa for opening the thread early. I forgot about the after-first-showing rule.

What struck me about the eclipse was that everyone seemed surprised by it. Every time there's a halfway decent eclipse, it seems to me it's on the news for several days ahead of time. And, much as I hate to even marginally defend the writers, at totality, you can look at the eclipse with the naked eye. But while any of the sun's surface is exposed, it's just as dangerous as looking at the sun any other time.

I was surprised that SPECTRE allowed their garrote-watch to get into the hands of Miami-bound euro-trash. And shame on Delko for monkeying around with it with ungloved hands, potentially contaminating evidence.

And finally, I was appalled that somebody would use comic sans for their IM program. There's no excuse for that.

I don't understand this either. Didn't he move up in rank? So why is he back in uniform? And he's hardly ever on any more. It seems like they're trying to ease him out of the show or something.

I hope they do, for his sake not ours, then he can go to NV and hook up with Brass as the terrible tag team detective duo.




Amen to that. BTW are they trying to hookup HoJr and Orangina? Am I the only one who got some vibes off them?? It could have been the caffeine too.

Right. I just hope he doesn't have to leave the show. Did anyone notice how BAD Caruso looked? Like he was sleepwaking through the episode. TPTB should get him one or the other GRande Latte next time.



Definitely. It was pathetic.



NO. I work at a Medical School and my boss who works in cancer research looked at me if I had gone nuts (after I told him about last nights episode). Neither human hormones nor animal hormons are able to corrupt human DNA.

This show is insane.

I know HoCaine's like, the best at everything, ever, but...he was aiming his gun while holding the SOJ in his hands! I don't know a whole lot about shooting guns, but I'm thinking you'd want to, maybe, put down anything else in your hands while you're aiming a weapon that could, oh, I don't know...kill someone?!

Alexx is becoming more ridiculous with every show. What was up with her during the whole "mojo" speech?

I do not feel any chemistry at all between Calleigh and Jake, so I can't for the life of me figure out why she keeps going back to him. (Although I did, thankfully, finally realize where I knew the actor from...Empire Records! And with Rory Cochrane, no less.) Are we supposed to think their little hand-holding moment in the parking lot was romantic?

So, seriously, the motive behind the killings was that Pike was angry at other people who stayed indoors too much? I was in and out of the room last night and thought maybe I'd missed something, but, perhaps not.

The best part of the episode? HoCaine creepily appearing at the window of Pike's car, as he does.

OK, besides the inanity of the eclipse (the poolside crowd looked like apes huddled around the monolith in 2001: A Space Odyssey), wolf boy, the "what is she thinking?" agony of the Calleigh/Jake relationship, HoCaine's moronic final speech to Wolfe (complete with SOJ flourish), and the big hit to Alexxxxxxx's mojo, I have to comment on the ingenious "trap" set for the vampire club owner:

They tricked him into driving up to the lab.

That's it.

No testing for the medicinal cream (trace amounts would have to be on his skin), or waiting for his skin to start to blister.

Brilliant scientists, all.

No, you’re not the only one. I thought they seemed kind of vibey when he was working at the gun range and she kept going there.



He does look kind of unwell. His face looks like it’s made out of raw bread dough.



I know, I was groaning over that. Especially since (unlike women’s clothes) men’s clothes are so practical and have so many pockets.



That was definitely a WTF moment. How could they put that on the air? Don’t they have some sort of scientific/medical consultant? How did that get by?

I actually got up and left the room at that point, and got distracted trying to hang coat hooks in my front hall and missed the rest of the episode. I'm thinking I probably made the best choice. I mean, wolf hormones? DNA altering wolf hormones? I think the CSI Miami writers are having some sort of internal contest - how ridiculus an idea do they have to come up with before it gets rejected? I'm thinking so far no one has won.

Wait. I thought they did test him. The reason he blistered later is because he knew not to wear the cream, which therefore exposed his risk of burn. When he didn't blister immediately, they tested and he was clean on both counts.

At least, that's how I remember it....

Hey Arnold Robinson, don't feel bad for opening this thread too early. Compared to all the inaccuracies, stupid mistakes and awful dialogue the probably highly paid writer of this episode managed to commit, what's some minutes between friends. While I think that these rules are excellent for shows with real storylines none of us here watch the show for the plot and I for one couldn't care less who the random murderer of this week's instalment of insanity is.

This show is always good for tons of snark but, Firecat, count yourself lucky. That was downright the bottom of awful.

Why is this show getting a 16 % share in the ratings but my beloved Chuck with its awsome dialogue gets only 7 %?

That is because this show is so high in snark-value. LOL. Hasn't anything to do with quality.



Like death warmed over. Lack of sleep? Booze? Too much smoking? Or all things combined together?

This show has thumbed its nose at science since the first season. Remember "iodine-131 near the end of it's half-life"? (On the plus side, that's what drove me to discover TWoP...). A five minute hurricane? The one-block tsunami? And now Miami has a solar eclipse during a full moon, which would require the moon to complete half a revolution in 12 hours instead of two weeks. (Then again, it was really hauling ass during the eclipse...)

The only reason this didn't make my jaw drop was because it was already on the floor from the Bad Astronomy. Not only that, but they completely missed the chance of making a bad pun on Ryan's last name.

I'm perplexed ... and devastated! Ryan's random Job Of The Week was the one truly entertaining aspect of this dreadful show. How could they take it away from us? With no explanation whatsoever?! Oh, and he's also a total asshole, who does not deserve to be reinstated, or to have any good things happen to him, ever.

Poor Tyler Hoechlin. I guess after being a regular on 7th Heaven, you can only find work on shows of equal or lesser artistic value!

I couldn't even finish last night's episode, it was so ridiculous, starting with the "surprise" eclipse that everyone looked directly at. I learned that in kindergarten, idiot writers. I think I might be finally fed up with this crap. So sad, I might have to get a life. I think I miss HoCaine delivering his lines to Frank. Frank's so awesome to sit there and listen to that crap w/o laughing.

ETA: . Oh yeah! I forgot that part, I loved guessing his random job of the week. This week, we were betting on dogcatcher or ophthalmologist to treat all those burned retinas.

Don't worry about it -- I don't usually watch the eps, so I'm always confused (but in less pain than many of you). Just teaches me to read time better. *g* Now, of course, we need to stop talking about the boards or we'll get smacked again. *cough*

Why on earth did Ryan get reinstated -- did they suddenly determine all the reasons for his dismissal were unfounded? I'm pretty glad I missed this episode, because I was really under the impression they meant for Eric and Calleigh to hook up and now -- despite the fact that they are my two fave characters -- I'd feel like Eric was slumming. The wince-inducing phrase 'sloppy seconds' comes to mind. I really hope they redeem Calleigh at some point. Soon.

LOL! Yes the moon was hauling ass. I suppose it was one of those noisy eclipses since it was going mach 20. I'm surprised the frequency from breaking the sound barrier didn't set the tectonic plates into motion resulting in a tsunami.

My suggestion was babysitter for ex-con Kyle. The way Ryan conductes himslf it can very well be that they fire him again - and we will be able to continue our merry game.



There is no sound during an eclipse. At least there was none during the one in 1998 I witnessed.

They are not even trying to make things look realistic anymore. The solar eclipse that I witnessed took a hell of a lot longer than the 2 minutes(tops) it took in this crapfest. Not to mention that for weeks the papers were warning about the whole 'don't look directly in the sun' thing.

I'm amazed Alexxxxxx can still move her face enough to talk, I'm also amazed that the actress manages to get through her lines without breaking out in giggles, though one might have to do with the other.

I thought that thing looked familiar - "From Russia With Love," wasn't it?

I can only hope they continue to rip off James Bond movies. In the future, we may see a barrel-chested Asian gentleman in a dark suit whip off his derby and throw it, decapitating Jake.

But, it was by far the most air time she's had on a show in the past two years. I'm just surprised they didn't decide she was into voodoo (or whatever the name it's going by now) because everyone knows that all African Americans anywhere near the Caribbean are into that.

Calleigh...there are no words.

I knew that they were going to get Ryan on as a CSI again the minute they offed that other guy with Speed's credit card (Cooper?). That was an even worse way of writing someone off than Speedle's uncleaned gun.

However, wasn't Cooper just a lab tech...how could Ryan "replace" him as a full CSI? Wouldn't he be stuck in the lab?

(Oh, right...thinking too hard.)

This was just so stupid. I knew it was going to be bad when they started by having all these sunworshippers staring with their mouths open and gasping "oh my God" as the eclipse started as if this were the stone age and they believed the world was ending.

Beyond the ridiculous storyline, the pretentious and gimmicky camera shots and editing on this show is such a distraction to me, I can barely follow the action and dialogue. Is this suppose to be "state of the art"? Because, to me, it looks as if a couple of first year film students shot and edited it. It's just absurd and gets in the way of the actual scenes.

All this is just to distract from actual plothols in the storyline. Has anyone noticed that lately there are a lot of area shots and music etc,? The "actual crime" starts after 10 minutes in the show (like in Cyber-lebrity) .It is kind of annoying.

I have given up hope that she is doing the show for any artistic value whatsoever....its so much easier to picture her rationalizing the ridiculous speeches by imagining her counting the words in the weekly scripts and comparing it to her residual checks.

"This week I have 1,000 words....that should be good $XXXXXX dollars - cha ching keep the craptastic speeches going forever"

That said, we need to find the show insider to reveal just how many times she laughed before finding the inner calm to shoot that "mojo" speech....and that fainting scene. Does she really work in the morgue completely alone with NO staff or security?

I remember that in season 3 she had an aid who undressed and cleaned the dead bodies before Alexx started to work on them.

I thought she had someone working with her....but even if she had lost the person due to budget cuts, what kinda morgue is this where she is the only ME and there is NO support staff at all...not even a janitor? I know this is CSI:Miami but....man if they can support the gas for Hummers in Miami, you'da thunk they could afford a small staff for Alexx.

Honestly, I can't imagine Alexx undressing, weighing, measuring etc. the dead bodies herself. No morgue can function without personnel destined to do those things. They could at least hire an extra who would take this role. He wouldn't even have to read some lines. He could be mute.

Miami-Dade probably doesn't have the money for that, after all they probably have to pay for HoCaine's Sunglasses of Justice, the girls' Cleavage of Justice and Frank's vacation leave(which is what I'm pretending he's doing right now)

LOL. I think for the Boobs of Justice they'll get a discount. Buy 2 get one for free: Alexx, Calleigh and NBV

Well they did get that Star Trek computer screen. That probably was the yearly wages of several morgue staffers there.

So sorry, I'm using logic again.

I finally watched this episode last night. I was amazed at the utter lack of brain cells that this must have took to write this bit of farce. I know that this is TV and I know we can't take it seriously, but COME ON! Do TPTB really think that we are that brain dead? My 9 year old knew enough that you can't become a werewolf by injecting wolf DNA. She saw that part and said, "That's fake Momma". If my child can see the nonsense, who is writing this?

Jake needs to die a horrible death. There. I said it. And I agree that Calleigh is the stupidest woman EVER.

*shakes head*

Together with Kyle Harmon....PLEASE

I watched this last night. I don't often watch this show, but I couldn't sleep and for some inexplicable reason I still record this show weekly. How is this one of the top rated shows on telelvision? I realize some watch for the snark value, but you know that many many folks, perhaps even the majority, are watching because they like it. I know some of these folks and even call some of them friends.

I agree with virtually everything written in the above posts. They had me rolling my eyes from the very beginning and I didn't stop until after the credits were rolling. A television show asking you to suspend your disbelief is one thing but to completely ask you to throw out EVERYTHING you know about eclipses and DNA and just common sense in general is taking it too far. GAH This show is bad, but I have occassionally been entertained by being able to laugh at it. Last night I was just completely irritated -- it reached a point where it was so bad I couldn't really find any humor in it at all.