From TV.com



It was one big "meh" tonight.

So, who was at fault? Is Delko still hallucinating? Is Calleigh still acting like a bimbo around her new boytoy?

I'd ask if Horatio was still a self-important hosebag, but some things never change.

Could no one be bothered to find Alexx a freakin' sweater or a lab coat so she'd quit shivering?

Really! And she was in there for hours, too.

No Ho Junior? Ah, so much the better. No tits of justice? I kind of like them, so boo.

I guess Mr. Football star wasn’t so well liked after all, since he essentially got murdered twice within one hour. I’m sure that stat won’t make it into the record books, but it should.

Mrs. Football star needs a forehead reduction, or more practically, a better hair style.

OK, I know that newspapers do pre-write obituaries. But do they really CALL the person? what on earth was the point of that conversation?

And since when do sports agents sell off their clients memorabilia without talking to the sports star first?

Ryan's back at the gun range, eh? Can't he get a job as a security guard or something? Other than him being completely incompetant at everything, of course.

Alexxxx couldn't wear a sweater because then she wouldn't be able to use the awesome power of the Tits of Justice. Although really somone could have given her a lab coat.

You know, I just can't even think about this episode any more, it was all too dumb.

Together with the corpse conversations, this has officially made her too stupid to live.

Hasn't she heard of wikipedia?

The episode was such a blur I don't remember his name either. I got distracted trying to remember what he's been in before. I knew it wasn't Due South or Early Edition, but eventually remembered he was in that stupid godawful Time Trax from the 90s.

To me she will always be the slutty two-timing anthropology professor who corrupted poor Brandon on 90210.

I'm surprised they didn't try to promote this as a timely-OJ episode like their pathetic head-shaving Britney one.

The Orangista-shoulder-dislocation scene was funny and random. Delko's magic hug prevented any tears from flowing despite the EXCRUCIATING pain usually experienced from a DISLOCATED SHOULDER.

While I'm happy detective guy has taken the vest out of his wardrobe rotation, his upper lip bugs me or maybe its his lisp. Or maybe its his hair. Or maybe its everything else about him.

I think its been mentioned here in previous episodes that the 3-D magic screen of crime solving does exist in reality, I still just don't buy it. I'm willing to suspend disbelief on the 5-second DNA and fingerprint results, but not on the touch-screen hologram thing. It got to the point where I actually thought that detective guy's hallucinations of football guy's games were really happening and that his trophies were magical ones.

I wish there was something else on at 10pm on Mondays. Witnessing the demise of Studio 60 into a sanctimonious clusterfuck last year was still preferable to this dreck.

Did I get that right? That they have a "portable" MRI-like machine that does virtual autopsies, and can be moved from site to site even though it looks to be the size of a Volkswagen (and just how would they fit it through the doors, anyway?)? This is becoming CSI: The Jetsons.

Highly amused by the swingin' silver chain and medallion worn by Calleigh's detective boyfriend - young man, it is not 1978, and you are not the bassist for the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band. So quit dressing like it.

So I guess we can add ex-NFL quarterbacks to the list of evvvvviillll people. Then I guess if he had worked at a credit card company after his football career was over, he'd officially be worse than Hitler.

I disagree and this is from someone who just adored being able to see Bradley Whitford on tv every week -- Studio60 was just awful. There wasn't anything remotely funny, escapist or totally ridculous (well, except BW's StalkerDanny was pretty tough to take).

I watch CSI:M just for the pure snark and to see if HoCaine manages to mix up his wardrobe anymore -- in the first few season, he wore something besides black. Plus the lines are funny as hell. After watching either "24" or "Heroes" the hour before, I need to come down a little -CSI to me is just the last in the series of Monday night comedies on CBS for me.

I'm getting a soft spot for Delko. But yeah, relocating a dislocated shoulder would be pretty painful, but I guess Delko's hugs are magic. Loved Stetler's pink shirt/tie ensemble. Maybe he was dressing up in hopes of seeing HoCaine.

When is Jake leaving? He bugs me -- I guess the only reason Calliegh's still with him is because he must be good in bed or something. He reminds me of a child. That whole post-Stetler scene (was it a breakup?) was lame.

What was the knife doing in the cryo chamber? Did it fall out of the body bag and Dr. Cryo just didn't notice it? Did he decide to "hide" it in there because the dumpsters were full? And if Alexx swore she wouldn't take her eyes off the body for one second, how did she not see the knife when the body was put in the cryo vault?

The only purpose was to have somebody on the phone with the victim so the murder could be recorded.

The whole business of Delko accidently ratting out Calleigh and Jake was lame. I've seen scenes like this before, but the person giving up the information has always been a kid:

"Get over here, young man! You're in big trouble!"
"I'm sorry I broke your (valuable object) and then hid the pieces!"
"WHAT???? I was talking about leaving your towel on the floor, but...."

If he only would.....for me every episode that is free of HoCaines illegitimate spawn is watchable.

Alexxxxxx's Tits of Justice are so amazing that she managed to show cleavage while wearing scrubs. That takes some huge rock hard implants to accomplish that.

Wouldn't the injunction mean that nothing happens to the body until a decision can be made? I don't think it means go ahead and cryogenically freeze the body until things are sorted out.

This episode was so damn boring. It wasn't even interesting enough to snark about and I kept checking the clock hoping that it was over soon.

What was the deal with Del Boa Vista at the gun range? Wierd reaction to being asked out: grabbing a shotgun and then ignoring the instructor's advice on how to fire the thing. If she was that offended/flustered/whatever, why not tell him to shove off and leave?

Oh, and if it means not having to see Calliegh's nasty boyfriend, welcome back Stetler.

It really says something about the (lack of) quality of the writing on this show that this didn't even occur to me. There was just so much other stupid shit!

As is usual for me, I wasn't really paying attention during the last 15 minutes - how did the knife get into the freezing chamber thing? Did the wife stash it there? Did it fall out of the body bag? How the hell did Alexxx not find it at some point?

Also, the football guy got stabbed in the neck, but as I understood it, he didn't die until some 45 minutes later when the wife pulled the knife out. Why was he lying on the floor that whole time? If he didn't die right away upon being stabbed, wouldn't he have called for help or something? Or does a knife to the side of the neck automatically knock you unconscious?

LOL I am sooo glad I am not the only one with the Jake hate. That guy is so nasty, I wish I could just smack Calleigh up side her head. You chose THIS over Delko? Does CSI:M 's stupidity know no bounds??

my favorite part of the show was Stetler's pink ensemble (aside from seeing Dale Midkiff, tho' it took a minute or two to recognize the Victim-of-the-Week).

He also played Buck in the Magnificent Seven and played psycho husband (also named Buck) in the Tracey Thurman Story.

I wish he'd had more screen time in this although I may have missed some. I just couldn't bother to stay awake during this episode.

I'm all aboard the Jake Hate train especially after this episode. He's just so unappealing. The smug smirk and Mr. My Career is More Important Than Who I'm Banging. And I don't know what the casting people were thinking, but he looks waay too young for her (for that matter, so does Delko). And Emily Proctor must have done something really bad in a previous life -- to go from Sam Seaborn (Rob Lowe) to Jake. Blech. I liked her with the suicide guy better than any of these guys. Would have LOVED her w/Speed. Maybe she's better off dating Speed's ghost?

Well, I think it is a safe bet that Calleigh is not the brightest puppy of the litter when it comes to men. Didn't she chose that oily FBI guy (Monica Wests financee) over Johna Hagen. Can't that girl find a nice man?

The myriad ways in which this episode made no sense are truly shocking. I want to cryogenically freeze my brain for 40 years, or however long it takes me to forget that I watched this episode.


The wife "blackmailed" CryogenicFreezerDude into smuggling the knife away from the crime scene in the body bag. This, of course, leads to a host of other questions, like "How did Alexx, supposedly "not letting the body out of her sight," not NOTICE the murder weapon when they unpacked the body for the stupid 'virtopsy'? Or how about "Why wouldn't the wife just wipe her fingerprints off the knife?" Or "Why did CryogenicFreezerDude choose to store the knife with the body, rather than, you know, GETTING RID OF IT?"


According to Alexx, the knife severed his carotid and instantly paralyzed him. But it didn't paralyze his respiratory system, since he was still breathing and moaning 40 minutes later, so ... yeah.

Why, oh why did the wife confess? Even if we accept the fingerprint is incontrovertable proof that she removed the knife, all she had to do was say "I panicked and pulled it out! I didn't know it would kill him!" The only way to prove it wasn't a tragically misguided attempt to save her husband's life is her OWN ADMISSION! Duh. Criminals in Miami are so stupid. That, or they all confess because spending the rest of their lives in prison is preferable to spending even one more minute in a room with HoCaine.


She's such a friggin' idiot. Guns are dangerous, m'kay? Might want to pay attention when the instructor is trying to, you know, instruct you in their use?

To be fair Hagen tried to kill her, so...

The triangle doesn't make much sense to me. I guess we're supposed to believe that Calleigh's so scared of her feelings for Delko that she'd rather be with that jagoff Joannabe? Is that it? Cause seriously, put Joannabe in one side of the room and Delko in the other and I'd be all over Delko like white on rice. HE HAS MAGICAL HUGS!

Anyway, I've always been a Calleigh fan, but when Joannabe told her they should take a break I smiled. Didn't he do the same thing to her the first time they dated? How is it possible that she didn't see it coming? That's what you get for being an idiot. I noticed he's in the next episode. I wouldn't be surprised if she still went back to him after this. Someone bring back the old Calleigh, please.

Orangina is such a moron. Is it really that hard to fire a gun? Because when I was 8 years old my father bought a rifle and I picked it up and was able to hit the target pretty much right away. If an 8 year old can fire a gun, why can't Orangina? Is she that stupid that she can't even aim?

I didn't realize why Wolfe was so sheepish with her until today. Finally some continuity. Guess she's still pissed at him. 30 bucks say Wolfe is gonna develop a little crush on her.

I adore Stetler. Seriously. I want that man to be in every single episode. It's so obvious that he's in love with Horatio that it makes me cry. He just wants to be loved.

If I've learned anything from CSI, it's that if I ever committ a murder, I'll come up with a better way of dumping the murder weapon then, you know, LEAVING IT WITH THE BODY. Or the other favourite of so many criminals, tossing it into the bushes NEXT to the body.

Amen. And not only because I've developed a tiny, yet embarrassing, crush on Delko. I missed Jake asking for a 'break' -- what was his excuse?

Stetler said there's a new "pending rule" against fraternization due to possible sexual harassment suits against the lab. When Stetler found out about Jake and Calleigh, Jake was taken off the case, so Jake then told Calleigh they should just cool off.

Which was ridiculous, because they don't need to cool off. They just need to avoid working the same cases together. I think the first time Jake and Calleigh broke up was because he chose his work over her as well, so it was no surprise that he did it again, but he was an asshole about it.

Ditto. And did you notice the way HoCaine looks every time Stetler approaches him - that is pure hot sexual tension!

My goodness, I completely forgot about the knife in the cryogenic chamber, and just the utter, magnificent idiocy that would have to have had to take place for it to get in there:

- First, CryogenicDoctor had to agree to hide the knife, and do so by slipping it into the body bag (and, as numerous people have noted, have Alexxx conveniently never notice it as they tugged the body out of the bag for the virtual autopsy).

- Then, after the autopsy, they have to stuff the body back into the same bag, and wheel it over to the chamber.

- Then, they have to put the body and (accidentally) the knife in the chamber, apparently by the totally scientific means of lifting up one end of the bag and letting the contents slide out the other end, into the chamber. Otherwise, how would the knife get in there? (Unless the flunky doing the body transfer saw it, said, "well, if it's in the bag, it must go in the chamber," and tossed it in.)

I mean, how can you not love this f'ing show? It's like a joke you think about, that becomes funnier and funnier the more you mull it over.


(ETA: This all assumes the knife went in there accidentally: on the other hand, CyrogenicDoctor could have thought, "ha, I'll hide it in the chamber and no one will find it until THE FUTURE, bwahahahaha!" Then rubbed his hands together like a stereotypical evil genius. Because that would totally rule, too.)

Everytime I see Stetler, I keep wondering: why do we never get mention of the fact that he used to hit Ylena? While she wasn't my favorite character, this seems like a pretty big point against Stetler, and so I'm confused by the show's attempt to make him just minorly evil. (Of course, this is the same show that had Boa Vista terrified of her ex-husband because he used to beat her - and she sent him to jail for it, and yet she still has sex with him)
I also think that if the show is trying to set up Calleigh and Delko, they're doing a poor job of it. Breaking up Calleigh and whoever that lame guy is = good. However, by having it be because of a non-fraternization rule means that Calleigh and Delko now are off limits too. Also, it completely makes sense that Calleigh and other guy shouldn't work cases together anyway, because the nausea-factor of all the viewers is increased ten-fold. But, I think it was a bit lame for Calleigh to take her just-been-dumped anger out on poor Delko who was hallucinating in the last episode (!) and so can be forgiven a minor slip of the tongue.

Considering the wife commented "I thought it wasn't going to be opened for 40 years," it sounds like it was purposely put in the chamber. I don't know when, if Alex was indeed around, but it was certainly intentional.

So I probably wouldn't have caught this except for the fact that I watched 28 days later and 28 weeks later back to back a few days ago, but the music that was playing during the flashbacks of stalking ex-girlfriend and murderous wife is the same music they played during the bleak shots of a completely empty London in those movies. Which made the scenes all the more rediculous because the complete idiocy of CSI:Miami is no match at all for the sense of dread in 28 days later.

Ah, but see Stetler said it was a "pending" rule. Pending as in the writers want Delko and Calleigh together and Jake and Calleigh apart but they can't think of a good, believable way of doing so. 10 bucks say that same rule won't be there come May sweeps.

Could it be that the writers have simply forgotten about it? I mean it wouldn't be the first time that they drop a promising fact because they couldn't come up with a plausible story for it. Is it just me or does Stetler appear as a very sympathetic guy while he gets brushed off by an arrogant HoCaine (episode "Cyber-lebrity")?

I think the writers are too focused on the HoCaine/Kyle storyline so that they are very sloppy when it comes to episodes sans Kyle.

Actually, Delko did say to Stetler about the new "pending" rule, "is it because you were involved with Ylena Salas?" or something like that.

The wife/knife-extractor was so botoxed there was just no facial movement to be had. Like that old cartoon where only their mouths moved a little....

And HoCaine was involved with Rebecca Nevens so this rules would apply to him too or is dating a DA another matter?

I could see them having the rule apply to CSIs and cops because they probably don't want someone reporting to someone they were involved with. (Sort of like what's going on in the original CSI...you're not supposed to get into a position where your boss is your spouse/lover/ex-) I don't think the DAs and the cops/CSIs have the same amount of contact when working on the cases, so HoCaine is in the clear.

Otherwise, they'd have a rule that anyone working for the city of Miami is not allowed to date/sleep with/marry anyone else who is working for the city.

I was wondering why the agent was selling the football guy's stuff. Did the football guy owe him money? Why did he think he could just traipse into someone's house and sell stuff that didn't belong to him? I wonder if he's pissed HoCaine off enough that they'll charge the agent with grand theft, since it seems he's sold several thousand dollars worth of memorabilia without permission of the owner.

Actually, on the original CSI, they've declared the rule to be no romantic involvement with anyone at all on your team. No reason why Miami has to follow that particular rule, but if there is worry about science geeks getting distracted, it seems it would be a bigger concern when you've got SWAT!CSI going into life-and-death situations on a weekly basis.

And what about getting involved with suspects in a crime like HoCaine and the hooker Anna? Doesn't sound right to me either.

I watch this show and I keep thinking "why does Wolfe want to be a CSI again?" Does he like working with these irritating people that much?

How did the wife get that court order or whatever it was so quickly? And why wouldn't it have been instantly contested?

To whoever said it upthread: exactly. Delko's suffering from hallucinations (and why is he even back in the field?), you know it and yet you give him death glares for letting something slip, Calleigh?

Because secretly he wants to be like HoCaine. Since the first episode when they introduced him he wanted to be like the great HoCaine. Must be hard for the little nerd to get booted out by his idol. I'd say kill off Kyle and get Ryan back to the lab.

Frankly, I think Wolfe is far and away the most irritating person on the show. Maybe he wants to work with them because his asshattery won't stand out as much in the lab as opposed to normal human society.

YUP. I miss Speedle and his "slopyness" - be it in his dressing style or the way he viewed his work for the CSI team. "It is just a job." he once said to a labtech. (I think it was episode "Wannabe".) I loved him for that sentence alone.

I think he's irritating too, but even so I can't imagine why he'd want to go back to work with the other irritating people.

Was that it...even on DVR and with rewind, I couldn'tkeep my eyes open to follow the entire story.