Spencer: I don't like all this attention, can you turn the cameras off?

Whitney: Let's head over to Target, I hear they are having a sale on loose fitting flower print shirts.

Lauren: It's your relationship I support you 100%

Audrina: Can I read that book when you finish it?

Heidi: Spencer everyone is right you are a douchebag

Brody: I don't want to go to the VIP section tonight, let's mingle with the masses.

Any of them: "I really don't have any best friends"

Heidi: "You know, it was me, I was wrong and I'm really sorry." (This could be about anything, not just the sex tape. Girlfriend is always stating that she never did anything wrong.)

Spencer: "See you later, I have to get to work"

Heidi: I know what I did!

Spencer: You know, Lauren's not that bad.

Intern Emily: Work sucks, let's ditch and go to Le Deux.

Brent Bolthouse: On second thought, Elodie should be promoted.

Justin-Bobby: Hey Lo, meet me for dessert at PinkBerry?

"Buns": I do want to be part of some awkward drama and am trying to get in the middle.

Whitney: I am not at all surprised.

Lauren: I love Katja, she's the nicest girl, and she's so welcoming.

Audrina: Hey Lauren, me and Justin had a date, but I broke it because I'd rather hang out with you.

Lo: Justin is such a winner.

Lo: You know who I really miss? Morgan and Christina. We should see if they want to go to Area Thursday.

Lauren: Kristen really was a hottie.

Lauren: My gyno said they really looked like beef curtains

Heidi: I think I should take some of this makeup off.

JustinBobby: Marry me, Audrina.

Lauren: True friends just aren't that important.

Whitney to Lauren: Would you just shut up about your friends and get to work already?

Lo: So JustinBobby and I were hanging out and talking last night and...

Heidi: Spencer, I'm dumping you.
Spencer: Is it because I'm a lesbian?

(This will only make sense to other L & O nerds...)

Heidi: Sorry i'm late, I was at the library.

Spencer: Man I wish these camera's weren't here.

Lauren: I don't feel like gossiping today, lets just get to work Whitney.

Lauren: "Yes, a shirt that costs $.40, I am so buying this!"

Jen/Heidi (most likely all cast members):My nose? Oh, yes, it's my original nose.
Speidi and Jason/His Woman: We have a definite wedding date set.
Spencer: Hi honey, I'm home from work!

Lauren: I think you should give JustinBobby another chance.

Spencer: Hey Heidi, how about we leave LA and buy a house in Crested Butte.

Whitney: Lauren - I have to tell you the truth... I started the sex tape rumor.

Speidi: I do


Audrina: The square root of 4,342,564,124.5 is 65898.13445

Lauren: You know, I don't want to go out to the clubs tonight. I'm trying to save money.

Heidi: Lauren, I did it. I take full responsibility for my actions and I'm very sorry. I don't even know what happened to me this year, but I want to apologise for slandering your reputation and bringing Spencer into our lives. I think my actions stem from my incredibly low self-esteem. I have daddy issues, clearly. I'm going back to Colorado to spend time with my family and do a bit of soul searching, and I'm in contact with a good therapist. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me one day.

Lauren: If you think my sex tape with Jason was hot you should see the one I did with Spencer.

any girl on the show - Spencer looks hot and masculine with that facial hair

Audrina: So I was thinking about the federal defecit...

ah shoot, might as well cut it off at "I was thinking"

Anyone: Did you go out last night Lauren
Lauren: No.

Audrina: Eyeliner is overrated. I like the more natural look.

Lauren: Let's just stay in and watch movies tonight.

1. "You mean to tell me that all of this could've been avoided if I was just a little bit more self aware and just a little bit less self-obsessed?"

2. "I can't lose this job - I have to be able to pay my rent!"

3. "Know what I just realized? You actually CAN be too skinny and too tan!"

Lauren: I was think about trading in my car...I hear the Nissan Rouge is a hot right now, Hayden drove one on her Superfriends show.

Brody: I don't want to go out and party. Let's all get together and converse about literature, everyone.

Heidi: Plastic surgery is wrong. Just accept yourself how you are, like me.

Lauren: Don't forget to buy my sex tape , hitting stores soon!

Lauren: I'm really concerned about the situation going on in Burma.
Brody: Do you mean Myanmar?
Lauren: I refuse on principle to call it Myanmer. That name is a de facto recognition of junta that has ruled so violently, most recently by killing monks demonstrating for freedom.

Bwahahaha! This cracked me up.

Absolutely anyone on the show: Wow, there isn't any perfect person, we're all just human beings. The really interesting thing is meeting all kinds of people and learning how to treat everyone thoughtfully. It's really something that takes a lifetime to accomplish; at 20 I'm just beginning and barely know anything.

"Seriously, you guys - we need to re-evaluate our work ethic."

Lisa Love: Lauren, you're hired. You'll make a great fashion journalist.

Anyone: "Happy 25th wedding anniversary, Jason and Katja!"

Audrina: "Isn't that accountant in the khakis and polo shirt hot?"

Lauren: "JustinBobby and I are engaged and we're registered at Wal-Mart."

Elodie: "I'd like to nominate Heidi for Employee of the Month."

Heidi: "I take full responsibility for _______________ (fill in the blank)."

Spencer: "I take thee, Heidi, to be my lawfully wedded wife."

LMAO! Win.

Jenn "Bunns": I don't want to get involved.

Oh wait, nevermind.

Heidi: Bikini? No, it's too cold out at the beach today--I'll just wear my sweatpants and big wool cardigan.

Spencer: I've given all my worldly goods away and ask that you all pray for me as I head to Tibet for my monk training.

Brent Bolthouse: Stars are so shallow and uninteresting; I prefer to hang out with my bricklaying buddies.

Justin-Bobby: Audrina, don't forget to have my assistant pick my business cards up from the printer today--I'll need to do some heavy networking at the opera gala tonight. Oh, and is my Armani suit clean?

Whitney: I'm too exhausted to color code those tops--I just filmed two pornos last night!

Lauren: I haven't worn anything but these old sweatpants all week--do you think people will notice the stains and the hole if I wear them out to Area tonight? I just don't feel like changing.

Jason: I'll give you a call as soon as I finish this little project I'm working on. What is it? Oh, it's just a reworking of Einstein's Theory of Relativity. I decided to have some fun, since I've been translating Shakespeare's sonnets into Kurdish all week.

Audrina: Kurdish? I just translated Shakespeare's sonnets into Gujarati last week. What a pain! Although not nearly as hard as when I translated the entire text of Beowulf into Mandarin!

Lo: I'm good enough for Justin Bobby, I really am! No, really--I know it doesn't seem like it, but I could be his girlfriend! Okay, fine...he's way out of my league. But if I got new boobs and a nose job, he might like me! Right?

Brody: I want you to be my wife, Spencer. No monkhood for you...at least not until I've got a ring on that finger.

Frankie: If you don't want me any more, Brody, that's fine--Lisa Love and I have had it goin' on for years, anyway. And she's MUCH better endowed than you!

Spencer: Dude, I really am a total douche.

Heidi: Maybe I should lay off the bleach?

Brent Bolthouse: Maybe I should do something about my ridiculously big dark eyebrows.

Whitney: Fuck off Lisa Love!

Brent: I am so glad I promoted Heidi! Best decision ever!! (high-fives self)

Elodie: Nope, I WON'T be able to cover for you Heidi, because if you didn't have your head up your ass, you'd know that I quit. Asshole.

Spencer: It's cool that you have to cut our dinner short, Heidi. Work comes first. That's always been my motto.

Lauren: (in a voiceover as we see pretty shots of LA at dusk) I can't continue this ridiculous charade any longer - I'm a 45-year old housewife from Fresno, Spencer is a flaming homosexual actor from Central Casting, Brody is his longtime lover, Heidi and Justin-Bobby are married with kids, Whitney is really a man and Audrina isn't even really a girl; she's a manatee in a girl-SUIT.

I will be working this into my conversations, daily.

I'm cold please fetch my sweater-the cat

Receptionist: Oh Spencer, I was completely joking about not knowing who you were.

Lauren: I wish I had more responsibility at work.

Heidi: You know...I wasn't that bad looking before.

Jason: Crack is wack and so is my fiance

Justin: Why, no, Audrina is not available to be asked out. I am her boyfriend. Labels like that are very important to me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I will take my girlfriend home so that we can spend some time with her delightful friends, Lauren and Lo.

Do you have these in a size 10?

Heidi: "I did something wrong!!"

Spencer: " Okay,okay...it was me. I started the rumor."

Heidi: "Spencer, how could you start that rumor? I can't believe that you'd do that to someone as sweet as Lauren - I lost my best friend, the nicest girl in the world, because of you? I hate you, I can't believe I ever let the producers talk me into this crap. Here's your cheap ring!"

"Those Pratt siblings are really well adjusted and polite. They're class acts all the way - their parents must be so proud"

Actually, that might be said - but with a sarcastic tone.

Spencer: "I value your opinion"

JBobby: Pardon me - I belched. You were saying?

Lisa Love "Actually, Paris is overrated"

Heidi's parents: "We love you, Spencer. Come back to Colorado anytime."

Heidi: "You know, I'm just skiing with my mom... maybe I don't need the full makeup."

Heidi's Dad: "I wish I got more camera time."

LO: Justin and Audrina are soooooo CUTE together!