Home page for America's Most Smartest Model
Ben Stein + models with model levels of stupid = Television gold

This could possibly become my favorite show of the year.

I can't wait for this. I can't even wait for commercials for this. I don't know anything about the female host, but I loves me some Ben Stein.

Perfect. First, the Rock of Love Reunion show, then this. But, it's up against the new Iron Chef show. Which to watch? I wish VH-1 would re-run shows so I could catch the ones I miss.

Wait.

I'm so down with this show!

Howard Stern talked about this. It's created by one of his former employees, Mark Cronin, who basically ripped off the idea from a bit Stern regularly does. I guess because he felt bad about it, Cronin asked model Beth Ostrosky (Stern's fiance) to host the show. She intelligently declined as it would be kind of insulting to the people she works with to host a show based on the premise that models are stupid.

ZOMG SLAVCO!!! <3

I loved "Kept" with all that my tiny heart could flutter and as much he channeled Zoolander, Slavco was always my favorite.



This show is definately my eyecandy crack. When the asshole Russian guy took of his jacket, I was sold right there. Rawr.





/shallow

That was...surprisingly good. They have to jump through hoops, but no worse than making collages or learning foreign dance on Top Model. They really need a Janice to make the show sing, but otherwise, it has potential.

Slavco! I was so looking forward to seeing his delectable idiocy on my tv again, and they had to go and boot him first. Oh well, there is no shortage of equally delectable replacements. I want to root for Daniel, but he's turning out to be a right little whiner. Gaston was just priceless, and it's too bad he's gone too.

Since we're apparently never seeing another Surreal Life (they're using the SL house,) I deem this a worthy replacement, and I want it to stay on forever.

That doesn't mean anything. Flavor of Love, I Love NY, Rock of Love, and Taking a Shot with Tela Tequila all use the exact same mansion - they just slap a fresh coat of paint on it each time. There will be a second Surreal Life Games, since they announced Tracey as the first winner. This is just more production recycling. How hard is it to paint over the clown walls with white and call it a model house?

I don't know about Tila Tequila, but the two FoLs were in one house, ILNY and Charm School were the same house - not the FoL one, and RoL was a different house entirely. This is the SL house, and I think it was used for one other show, but I can't remember which one. We probably won't see another SL, because the producers have so many other things going on, and it's been coming up on two years since the last one IIRC. They even waited to air Fame Games until almost a year after it was shot.

I didn't realize that the first episode of AMSM was 90 minutes long. That's how I know it's a winner, because I wasn't bored once. I especially like the codes on the bathroom and refrigerator doors, and I hope they change the codes each day. And if that was the refrigerator that looked like a giant circuit board, I want one pronto.

This gay boy already has a crush on hot young VJ. And did anybody tell anybody "most smartest" is ungrammatical? If some of the kids think Tuscany is a city and Memphis a state, what can you expect?

The Russian looks like Derek from RW/RR Challenges. That body, if he kept his shirt off I won't care what comes out of his mouth.

Okay. I think I just found my new favorite show of the season!

Between Mandy Lynn who looks like a Walter Keane waif re-imagined by Hugh Hefner and Andre, a shaved-headed, less articulate (and less smaller - just keeping with the theme folks!) version of Ivan Drago ("I vill krush you...with my abs. For which I don't need to work out. Because we are gods and goddesses!), this show rocks.

America's Next Top jiggawha? Guess what Typrah? A newer, fresher, less smarter (theme!) model has arrived. And it will own. Your. Ausperger-ed homeless-in-Alaska exotic-dancing-but-with-a-bikini ass! Respect!

I mean, they have a douchebag from Argentina named Gaston! Gas-muthfuckin-ston! All you had was some sexual predator masquerading as a designer way the hell back in Season 5. You're dunzo!

Some gems from Andre:

"I live in Times Square...I have a rare dog and a gorgeous girl. I'm here for one simple reason. To prove people [sic] that models aren't stupid. We're well-travel [sic]...and we have an unbelievable idea of what's going on around us...People die to be us, bro!

"I sacrifice every day to be a model. Did you see my fucking abs?!? I want to go over there and eat those sandwiches! But I'm not going to fucking do it!"

"Pickel's a dick!"

AWE. SOME!


ETA: Oh and Jesse, the black guy with the slight beer gut and the less-slight attitude, looks like a semi-masculine RuPaul. Oh the humanity!

Don't forget: "I think Andre's from Chernobyl."

Brett and VJ are the cutest, but they need a blond guy model, along the lines of Austen (also from Kept.) And Ricardo should have come along with Slavco - I wasn't aware they were allowed to go anywhere or do anything separately.

Shafawn! Motherfucking Shafawn! Brilliant. This show is gold.

Jesse is my favorite, he's such a diva.

All I want from this show is for Brett and VJ to make out. Andre can take off his shirt and stand to the side and watch and sneer.

I cannot remember the last time a reality show had me laughing so hard. The spelling bee was funny but the runway knowledge listing was hysterical. balls...cherries...tires....balloons...balls.... is that the right order? Because that was some funny shit.

I was surprised that Ricardo didn't show up either. I thought their's was the love that would not die. wEll the love they had left over from loving themselves.

Pickel needs better pecs to carry off open hoodie look. And "peace out to me". So sad.

The scene Andre walks into after he stumps down the runway (any flash back to that Wendy's ad of Soviet fashion wear) was so funny with everyone talking about absolutely nothing. Too funny. Not just because no one even noticed him but because they were so intent on talking about absolutely nothing.

LOVE this show!
Jessie is so snarky and fla-ming! He had me dying everytime he opened his mouth.

Why was Deal or No Deal model's tan orange? As Heather from Rock of Love would say, "Oh my hell."

Poor Playboy Mandy-Lynn, no love for porn- except I think Ben Stein wanted her to come back to his room after all was said and done.

Andre- loved how they had the heavenly music playing while he ranted about how models were god's gift to civilization.

And Gas-(muthafuckin)-Ton... So hillariously inappropriate. "Hey, nice hiney!" "Do you do porn?"

My new crack...Goodbye Tyra and ANTM!

I kind of loved this show! When it wasn't that entertaining, there was eye candy everywhere. Kind of like 300.

The only thing I don't like is Ben Stein. When will he get out of my life? He is so full of himself. I loved the Umbrella Tree thing. Suck on that, Stein!

"Do you do porn?"
"No!"
"Please?"

I was glad Victoria went - when I watched it the second time I caught her reaction upon learning of the prize money: "I come from money, so I was like oh, cool?" And Blonde Rachel always looks like she's smelling something very bad. Maybe dirty penis.

Anything with Ben Stein is an automatic winner in my book. Some of those deer-in-the-headlights looks from the models after Ben used a few SAT level words were hilarious. Add in the cricket chirps and we're so there.

And just how does that one male model know what dirty penis smells like? Close experience with it perhaps. Hmmmm....

Oh, and Mandy reminds me of Alan's girlfriend/wife Candy on "Two And A Half Men". LOL.

I was watching this show and got up to the spelling bee before the power cut out. DAMNIT! Oh well, I'll catch the inevitable rerun.

What I saw of the show I absolutely LOVED. Andre. Oh Andre. You can be angry all you want as long as you do it while shirtless. His arrogance gets a pass for now!

I liked Mandy Lynn and I think she was getting a raw deal because of the Playboy stuff. Also the fact that she decided to go study for the spelling bee instead of mingle and that allegedly she taught herself how to design web sites makes her a winner in my book.

Jesse is just the amount of snark this show needs to keep it in the hilarious territory. Keep it up diva!

Can I just say that I do not like the female host? I know it's kind of her job to be judgmental but JEEZUS she bugs that fuck outta me. I think she's taking this show way too seriously. I'd take Ben Stein over her any day.

I am so ashamed to admit, that this show has brought me back to the forum. Where have a seen VJ? I have seen VJ and Jesse ?(one of the final two in the spelling bee) on something before.

The Ben Stein/Umbrella Tree moment gave me horrible flash backs to Win Ben Stein's Money. Whenever he got a question wrong, he refused to admit it. Schtick or not, if you answered Anne Sexton when they were talking about Zelda Fitzgerald, it was a wrong answer. No need to say "Well I've never heard of that, before" or "The question was wrong", or in this case the crack about the umbrella tree.

Sadly, I think the model and I only knew an umbrella tree existed from the wonderful Disney channel original program "Under the Umbrella Tree", which featured a fake umbrella tree.

I haven't totally decided how I feel about this show yet. I was excited about watching it, but last night didn't leave me feeling "Oh, I'll be tuned in every week!" or "What else is on at that time?" I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it. And I'm with the poster who finds Mary-Alice disagreeable. I'll give it another chance next week and see how I feel about it. Until then, some ponderings . . .

I find myself feeling strangely sympathetic toward Mandy Lynn. I keep thinking "Bless her heart" every time she's onscreen.

And Victoria? Honey, don't talk about how smart you are, because, sweetie . . . you just . . . AREN'T. Glad you're gone.

I keep getting confused about a couple of the dark-haired boys; I have Daniel and Pickel straight in my head, but the others . . . not sure. I'm going to have to pay better attention next time.

I found Jesse endearing for many reasons, not least of them being that he reminds me, in many ways, of one of my friends.

And Ben Stein? If you're going to go on national television and tout your genius, make sure you use the word "comprise" correctly.*

*yes, I realize there are some who would argue that you can use "comprise" and "compose" interchangeably, but, no, sorry, I don't agree.

Wow! Andre does look like Derrick Kosinski....the evil, blonde clone of Derrick, that is. I have to give him props. At least he has passion about the career that he is in. Tyra Banks would just eat him up.

I actually think Ricardo should have been cast INSTEAD OF Slabby. Scratch that, Devonric should have been cast on this show. Clearly, he was the true model. Dude takes the fiercest photos AND he's college educated. But alas, he's too busy party promoting and such.

None of the female models strike me as particularly pretty or interesting looking. The best of the bunch are Aussie Rachael and the other tall brunette. Unfortunately, none of them seem particularly smart or educated, either.

Several of the male models are strikingly handsome - VJ, Brett, the one who won the spelling bee, Slavco, Gaston (even though he was sleazy, if he didn't say anything, he was handsome). Andre and Jesse are interesting looking. I'm surprised there are so dark-haired, scruffy look-alikes, though.

Ben Stein is funny, but pompous. I didn't mind Mary-Alice and I loved the other two (guest?) judges for their honesty.

I had forgotten about that line! Oh yeah, see ya later bia-tch! You can take your money having ass somewhere else.

Blonde Rachel is truly a bag of bones. During the preview where she's doing a commerical in the shower, looking at her scrawny shoulders hurt my eyes.

I also want to say "bless her heart" whenever Mandy Lynn comes onto the runway. I hope someone loans her some non-cleavage bearing clothes. Most of the other girls are pretty forgettable.

Jessie, my favorite diva, needs to hit the gym quickly before they cut him for having a pooch. I love his face, though- its very entrancing.

Mary Alice does seem to have a stick up her ass (I think her credibility already disappeared when she signed on to do this show), but I liked the guest judges.

Is it just me or does Jesse look like a hybrid of Flavor of Love 2's Bootz mixed together with a huge dash of ANTM 4's Brandy?!?

I would die if he ever busted out with "How I'm gon' go back wit my eahbrows like dis?!? My boyfriend....he not gon' want me no mo'!" or the "I was just telling a joke to make myself laugh..." rant.

Haha, that is the only reason I knew. I gave up a long time ago being disappointed with how I knew things, though.

I thought Mary Alice needed to pick how mean she wanted to be. You can't be flat-out cruel to some and then make Mandy-Lynn your little pet project. Unless the producers tell you to. Which is probably the case knowing VH1. I bet they are setting her up to be the underdog.

Mandy Lynn is so adorably clueless with those out of control lips. She looks like that porn star on Dr. 90210 who gets plastic surgery every 6 hours. I was sad to see Gaston go (every time he came on screen I kept humming that song from Beauty and the Beast "NO ONE LOOKS LIKE GASTON, NO ONE ACTS LIKE GASTON ..." ); I think they should have "jarred Pickel"

MANDY LYNN FOR THE WIN!

I kinda agree. Pickel looked rather old for modelling and he was grating in the personality department.

Mandy Lynn looked a bit more cute with no makeup and her hair pulled back, but GOOD LAWD she still looks like she melted on the sidewalk in the sun.

I am torn with Lisa....on the one hand, she looks like a fresh face with no makeup, her hair slicked back, and wearing all white. On the other hand, when she mascaras up, she looks like one of those old hag lounge lizards who needs 20 packs of smokes a day and a mug of beer from the tap in order to make it through in life.

VJ looks constipated. Everytime I saw him on my screen, I wanted to advise him to take some fiber tablets for regularity.

Gaston looked waaaaay more modelly with his hair slicked back. He and the chick who got cut with him should not have been booted.

Most Smartest.

I love the fact that it's a double superlative -- it's hyperbolically ironic. And the guys are hot!!!

Just when I'd gotten bored with America's Next Top Model along comes America's Most Smartest Model to save me!

A bunch of people we'll never see again unless it's on a reality show with Heather from Rock of Love. Oh, I'm in heaven!

Paraphrasing:

Mandy Lynn: "Collagen. I know they had me try to spell that because of my lips. But they're Silicone. Pffft."

I almost died right there.

What bugged me most about Victoria was her hair was so flat! Like, '70s high school yearbook photo flat! Anyway, good show, and even better being on basic cable since it's replayed a million times. Not appointment TV, but good snack TV.

You are absolutely right! Somebody needs to tell her to step away from the silicone (not collagen!)



I thought I was the only one doing that!!


I think I would have flunked the spelling bee. I can spell pretty well on paper, but ask me to recite out loud and I crumble. More power to Jessie and Daniel.

There's one model on there . . . I want to think they're calling her Aussie Rachel? She was the one in the big pink dress in the beginning, I believe (could be wrong).

Anyway . . .

I'm sorry, I just don't find her all that attractive. Don't get me wrong, no one is paying me $2,000/hour to stand around and look disaffected, and I'm eternally trapped in the "another black dress, Morticia?" stage . . . but . . . no, sorry, I don't find her the least bit beautiful.

Of course, stand me next to her and it'll be "What's that little blobular thing next to the statuesque model?", so I suppose I shouldn't really be talking junk about Lumpy McWeirdHair.

I definitely enjoy the male eye candy on the show. Why is it so many cut Russian guys like Andre look like they've been socked with a bag of potatoes? Repeatedly. I guess that's to balance out the ultra-lean physiques. Pounded face, lean body.

I agree that Blonde Rachel looked scary with her toothpick arms and neck, big head and skeletal body. She looks like about a third of her weight is from her boobs. I love when she got the word emaciated but made fun of Gaston when he got nincompoop.

I was so disappointed Slavco got the boot. He seems a little beat up by life since the days of Kept. Or maybe being around his buddy Ricardo is what kept him so youthful looking.

Seeing how skinny Jesse looks in the talking head sessions, I assume he sticks around for a while. I hope so. He reminds me of a dog breed, I'm not sure which one. It may be the Pharaoh Hound.

I'm slightly uncomfortable with the "laughing at them, not with them" aspect of the show. But I'm sure I'll get over it.

This chick is surviving on lettuce and Chiclets - if that is not a serious eating disorder I do not know what is....scary.

The petite dark-skinned brunette (forgot her name) is quite hot. Does anyone else get the feeling that Mandy-Lynn is straight outta New Jersey? I am pulling for her but her I think her time on the show will be very short.

I am willing to bet that the guys will hook up with one another before anyone of the opposite sex - just a hunch.

Mandy-Lynn's from Long Island. But traveling west through Las Vegas to Sunset Boulevard I suppose she passes straight outta Jersey. She does seem OK, just pan-trash-ic (though that word doesn't seem to be in the dictionary--I sounded it out).

Was it Blonde Rachel who came from money? Anyway, I can see her getting the BB8 Danielle edit. Why are they soooooooo mean to meeeeeeeeeee. Why is it soooooooooooo hard on meeeeeeeeeeee.

I agree about the women not really looking like models but as for the men...I would loan every last one of them my utility bill money knowing they were not going to pay me back. Even BGG (black gay guy, can't remember his name); I would take him out in public but pay him not to speak

I would also like to start a Needy Sexy People Fund for Mandy Lynn to get her some proper clothes for appearing on television. I still <3 her though. I love it when stupid people are sweet and humble; makes them seem like my pet.

I know who Mandy Lynn reminds me of! She looks like the chick on True Life: I'm Getting Married who was having her period during her dress fitting and marrying that famewhoring guy who was talking about fucking his limo driver up if he's late to the wedding.

DING DING DING .. I think we have a winna. You know, Mandy Lynn is from Long Island

Mandy Lynn is just painful to watch. She seems so sweet, but oh, god--those lips. They're so hideously deformed that's all I ever see when I look at her--she looks like some weird blow-up doll. And since she got them by injecting silicone, not collagen, she's stuck with them unless she undergoes surgery to remove it (which doesn't always work so well). The ugly collagen trout-pout doesn't look any better, but at least the lips shrink back to normal as the collagen gets absorbed by the body.

Mandy Lynn's lips are so freaky it took me a while to realize that she also has boob implants that are way too big for her tiny body.

I can understand why people in various image-related fields get plastic surgery; when looking good is how you make your living, it's an investment of sorts. But holy cow--that poor child has wrecked herself. [shudders]

Working in retail in a resort community, I am constantly inundated with rich little assholes (ages 16-25, living off Daddy's money) who come in, expect you to fall over yourself, cheat the company I work for for their own benefit, and treat myself and my coworkers like their peasant servants. It's a daily grind in a job that would otherwise be a blast (video store), as our regular customers (read: the actual residents of the town) treat us with respect.

That being said, this is like a chorus line of those assy customers being put through the wringer.

So, of course, I am this show's bitch.


XOXOXOXOXOX, America's Most Smartest Model

p.s. BTW, why are Russian models considered "AMERICA'S Most Smartest Model"? (Then again, maybe I should post that question in the ANTM thread....)

I assumed he got a green card or a work visa to become an American model. Personally, I could care less if he's an asshole so long as I can grate some cheese off those abs of his. Yowza!



Mandy-Lynn's lips looks like the Nip/Tuck promos on this month where Jennifer Coolidge's character gets her pussy lips sewn on to her face. Mandy-Labia doesn't look like she's going to stick around much longer anyway though if those "This season on..." promos are any indication, so at least I won't have to stare at them much longer.

On another note, quite frankly I'm glad Slavco is gone after the first couple minutes. I still have bad Kept flashbacks of him and Retardo fowling up my screen, and that was two friggin' years ago.

Mandy Lynn is the only girl who remotely looks like a model to me. Too bad she's a midget compared to the rest of the cast.

And I like obnoxious male Russian model. It's like if someone stretched out Derrick from The Challenges and told him he was attractive. He's a great reality TV villain cause they all hate him for being dedicated to modelling. It's Yaya all over again.

I can't wait for the science fair Edge challenge. That will be a hoot. Do they have enough time to cut flower stems at an edge and stick them in food coloring? Or perhaps someone can screw a hook into the ceiling and show how a bowling ball on a string won't wack you in the head if you drop it an inch from your nose.

I absolutely love this show!!! NincamBOOB... hahaha. This has to be the producers, though. Oh I love it. So much eye-candy all in one place. And all of them hilarious. It is so refreshing to see this versus ANTM. FU Tyrant.

Ok, I, too, am here to admit my undying love for this show. Top Model meets Beauty and the Geek. J'adore. And my 2cents on Mandy-Lynn's lips-- she looks like the guy from Flipping Out, who also has an addiction to silicone.