Questiony!

I don't know. Could it be because their willingness to sign up for a cheesy reality show that requires them to date a man that is simultaneously dating 20 other women, drink profusely and have naked hot tub moments in the middle of the winter proves that they are mentally, spiritually and emotionally unstable?

Perhaps they don't want to be married...yet. I think some of these women believe that reality TV is an opening to becoming a celebrity. Then they can trade up from the Bachelor to a "real" star. And then get married.

Because Marriage to some nobody from down the street does not fit in with the Famewhore Book of Life: Marriage and Relationship section. Which reads.

1. Go on some cheesy reality show. Hopefully showcase physical assets and acting talent. Stick around as long as you can.
2. Do interviews and remain in public eye as long as possible.
3. Move to California. Get appropriate plastic surgery.
4. If you can't get an interviewing gig for "E" or a seat on the View, write a book about relationships.
5. Go to lots of parties and stick your face in every camera pointed remotely your way.
6. Marry an aging rock star, has been actor, or rich trust fund party boy.

Repeat as necessary.

Okay, I never watched the show. Tell me why I should, and what I'm going to have to do to get my husband to watch it (besides THAT).

Why you should watch The Bachelor:

1) Many stupid people blatantly displaying their stupidity on national television for all to see, while remaining blissfully ignorant of it themselves.
2) See reason 1.

As for your husband? I guess he'd only be in it for the drunken bikini shots, of which there should be many if this season holds true to form.

That's why mine puts up with it...

Seriously. I think all you have to say is, "Copius hot tub shots."

I just showed him your posts. He laughed. He paused. He said, "We'll see. I still have my--I have my limits."

Amen! The sheer insanity of this show makes me throw things at my TV and blot for the antacids. I didn't watch last seasons social exercise in futility, but I might watch again, if only for the recaps...

Barnes, I believe your husband will be a believer by the end of the season. (I'm calling it right now, actually. What do I win if he caves?) See, the thing is, this show totally fits the definition of being so bad it's good. Truly. It's, like, really bad. Ridiculously bad. Laughably bad. Can't-miss-it-bad.

Dudes, I cannot wait.

Imagine if you will, a satire on dating, written by someone insanely clever and funny. Except this is very real.

I mean, just off the top of my head, this is a show that's brought us:

a bikini model/FBI agent;

a crazy-eyed doctor who proclaimed on the first night of meeting the Bachelor that she wanted to get married because her eggs are rotting;

memorable phrases like "it hurts my heart", "if I was talking to you, I would have said Jenny", and "I'm not here to make friends";

a rejectee storming back onto the show and crashing a final three date with an invitation for the Bachelor to spend the night in her hotel suite;

a runner-up channelling her heartbreak into a poem called "Void".

You just can't make better shit up.

Actually, Smarty, you could.

Don't forget the hours of fun we have had re-creating certain scenes from the show.

The journey....
The most dramatic rose ceremony ever!

Because I'm among friends, I'll admit that I've watched this show from the start, in order to recap this scene, which I think perfectly illustrates Smarty's point about comedy you can't buy.

Alex Michel, Bachelor 1 (A tool, but a tool with an MBA), trying to get to know Kim, a Bachelorette who he picked for the "hometown date" solely because she made out with him before the Rose Ceremony: "So, do you like to read?"

Kim: I'm not really into that fiction, non-fiction thing. Sometimes I like to read magazines. And I love Dr. Phil.

Alex: (Silence. Inches away on seat of limo, which is speeding toward Kim's home and her entire family, which is waiting to meet her future husband)

It's my favorite Bachelor scene of all-time -- hilariously funny, and shows everyone in the scene suffering natural and logical consequences of their actions. For my money, it's even better than the Andrew Firestone Olive Garden scene.

And then he got there and got to spend quality time in the "hunting room," with Kim's dad, Kim's dad's guns, and the heads of all the animals he'd killed. Seriously? It doesn't any better then the hometown dates. Just a few of the highlights:

-Gun-toting dads (yes, that's plural)
-Leg-humping granny
-Visit to dead Nana's grave
-Parents who speak no English

And my very, very favorites, between which I cannot choose:

-'Bama Room
-Lanny's Mom
-Lanny's Mom's Vest
-Artifical Vagina

I kind of used up the "so bad it's good" argument, when Strega had me moderate the forums for the now mercifully over (and PHed) Fat March (which was only so bad it was bad). I wanted to watch it, because I wanted to know what my posters were talking about. I'll keep pimping the hot tub angle. Mr. Barnes likes hot tubs.

If he caves, you win...a lot of psychological satisfaction.

eta...

Tell me about the rose ceremonies. I have seriously never watched a second of this show.

Along with those above, I fondly remember:
the pagent room
the stairwell scene with Ian and his brother
the fall that did not spill any wine this past season

Oh, good times!

The rose ceremonies are excruciatingly "dramatic." The "ladies" are usually drunk and exhausted and make the most interesting faces -- bug eyes, rolling eyes, tearing up, sad smiles... Chris does the "final rose tonight" thing so woodenly... The best part, though, is the crying afterwards. Awesome!

One of my recent favorites was the poor girl who drank too much at the beach, passed out and work up slurring. Was that Andy's season?

mousie, I think that was Lorenzo's season.

Heh. Remember during Jen's season when that one guy passed out during the Rose Ceremony? Good times, good times.

The Rose Ceremonies, like most of this show, are really only good in that they are highly mockable. Chris Harrison, the host, will always dramatically announce the last rose of the night. (Otherwise how would we know?) Girls who hate each other wil make bitter, bitter faces when one gets a rose. Occasionally, someone will storm out before the rose-giving even begins, and then the Bachelor will fake laugh and say, "Well, she wasn't getting a rose anyway." And maybe, just maybe, if we're really lucky, at least once one of the scorned bachelorettes will totally and completely go off on the Bachelor, and let him know that letting her go was "the biggest mistake of his life."

Ah, my cold, black heart grows three sizes just thinking about it.

There's also the after the Rose Ceremony interviews where the rejected ladies either cry or yell. The criers talk about how they had an amazing connection with the Bachelor even though it's only the first night and she just knows they were meant to be and he's sending the best girl home. The yellers are just angry that he kept that hussy so-and-so instead of her and if that's the type of girl he wants to be with, then she doesn't want to stay anyway.

The dress choices are always amusing too.

1. It's a means to help you understand just one of the many reasons that the rest of the world hates Americans.

2. I feel REALLY smart and highly superior after watching how some of these women act and hearing some of them speak.

3. The rose ceremonies are tediously drawn out, with many cuts from one going-to-burst-into-tears face to another I'll-kill-him-if-he-doesn't-pick-me visage. And probably they've had a catalog of shots of the roses on the table; the editors just need to slap a few of them in while splicing together other footage. And as other posters noted, you get help counting how many roses are left (and therefore how many women "will go home broken-hearted").

4. I'm not a drinker, but there are so many overused, cliched terms (journey, romance, let's take this relationship to the next level, connection, soulmate, amazing, most dramatic rose ceremony yet [how many have there been? at least 311??]--oh golly, I'm surely missing a ton) that this show would lend itself very well to a drinking game.

Answer to why to watch: (although this may not appeal to your husband). There is no show that is more conducive to women who are old enough to be out of college and should be responsible on Monday nights to get together with their best girlfriends with wine and an assortment of cheese and fresh baked breads to watch television and gossip. This precludes the need to find someone else to pretend you don't watch this damn show with.

Question of my own: I will frequently have to work monday nights this fall. Will ABC make this installment available online? I'm not technologically savvy at all, and really don't want to make my bachelor hating brother hunt this down for me, so can any of you help me out?

Are Mary and her ovaries any closer to being married to Bachelor Byron? Seriously, what is the hold up there?

HA! I totally saw that guy while driving to my apartment. I wanted to scream something out the window of my car at him...but I'm not that clever and the moment quickly passed.

However, two weeks later, I was walking behind a woman who looked like she might be doing the walk of shame. Lo and behold, we make eye contact, I look at her like I know her, and she goes "Hi, how are you?" I'm thinking, I don't think I've met this person before but she's very familiar. After saying that I was fine and asking how she was, we continue walking down the street....when I realize that it was the one and only Jen Schefft. Ahh....God does work miracles.

Anyone up for an over/under on the number of times someone says journey tonight? My guess is 34.

If you go to ABC.com, it says it is one of the shows that will be online. I don't see a link for last night's episode yet, though.

My question... more of a comment really...
How is it that in 11 seasons of this show, they still have not had a minority bachelor? I do realize most of their audience is caucasian, but it seems like after 5-6 seasons, a producer would say, hey, let's have a hot black guy as a bachelor just to change things up. I mean if they are worried about it being "controversial", wouldn't the buzz help it in the ratings?

I don't know what you mean, CitizenKang. I mean, there's been at least one gay Bachelor, and 2 likely robots. Are those not minority enough for you? ;)

Where's the story on this gay bachelor? I've never heard a thing about it. Or is it all rumors?

So, Barnes, inquiring minds want to know -- what did the hubby think of his first ever episode of The Bachelor?

It's still sitting on the TiVo, waiting. I promise I will report once I get him to watch it. This week was crazy with the TV shows. Catching up is hard to do.

I started watching during that season and I must have missed this. Could you or anyone let me know about the Olive Garden scene? I can't believe I'm this interested. Hee!

Thanks lulee

That is making me cringe just reading it. What a strange question to ask on a date. Heh.

Maybe she was trying to find things to talk about with him and was so focused on what to say that she didn't pay attention to his answers. I suppose everyone has been that awkward at least once. Still, how about, "what type of food do you like?"

I guess she got the boot after that date.

I remember that scene as being both funny, and painful at the same time. I thought it perfectly captured the issues of class and status that were emblamatic of the season. Andrew is a Firestone, and wouldn't eat at an Olive Garden for goodness sake! And then there was poor little Ambeer, so naive, so middle class as to not understand that someone could both like Italian, and Not like the Olive Garden.

I'm guessing Ambeer and Kendra from "The Girls Next Door"((yet another reality show gal who shares an open affection for The Olive Garden)) would get along great! Both can be socially akward, both are skinny white blonde chicks who love to drink and party, and both obviously come from modest backgrounds where The Olive Garden would be THE only good Italian dining option, of course...yet for some reason, I found both of these blondes oddly endearing.


Ambeer was such a tall drink of dumbass though...beautiful girl, but not much going on in that pretty head of hers, based on the editing. Poor girl could barely make any conversation with Andrew, and to add insult to further insult, they actually went ice skating for their one-on-one date---how barf-worthy!
Definitely one of the most hilariously akward dates in TB history though---I absolutely adored Andrew Firestone's season.


Speaking of which, I wonder what's up with Tina Fabulous? One of my fave bachelorettes on the show ever!
She seemed way too cool and charismatic for this show...I'd be willing to bet money that she's involved or hitched by now.

-Most difficult elimination yet (bachelor)
-WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! ("ladies")

In fact, my husband frequently narrates the show for my benefit, and throws in an awful lot of woooing and comments about how what's-his-face (the moderator)'s room is just down the hall, for any ladies who have been sent home.

I like to call the moderator "Evil Ben" because he looks kind of like Ben from Lost.

Reading about skinny post-delivery Trista whining about STILL not being thin enough after just having had her baby made me think a little about the size of other gals on this show.
Something I've always wondered about TB is why ladies who are more "real-sized", or actually a size 8 or 10, never are cast.
Just for ONCE, I'd like to see a gal who doesn't look emaciated in a swimsuit actually be on a pool date of some sort...
Is it a strict requirement in the fine print to be skinnier than most of the rest of the female population, or if a gal is above a size 6 do producers automatically weed her out in the audition process?

I just find it sad that gals like DeAnna or the gal who Andy chose last season are considered "curvy," when they're probably size 4-6, compared to the usual size 0-2 bunch cast on this show.
I know most reality shows of this sort are infamous for only casting waifish women, but you'd think that not every woman is a tiny little stick to be considered worthy of a Bachelor's attention!


Maybe they should do a plus-sized version of TB; I'd find that way more entertaining, the gals would probably be far more fun and relaxed, and there wouldn't be so many beach/pool dates either, I'm sure...more dinner dates though!

Im fairly certain that they cast relatively normal sized women... many of whom crash diet down a few sizes knowing they are going to be on tv. The ridiculous drunkenness at the first rose cermony seems to confirm this for me.

Stupid random question:

Is this the first season where one of the final two isn't a blonde?

What about Meredith?
She had to have put a "no hot tubs" stip into her season. But natural and fun trumps a bitchin' bod, doesn't it?

I agree. But then again, I am not a famewhore. (And neither was Meredith ...at least on the Bachelor/Bachelorette famewhore continuum). And do not think like one.

Blob had a thing for brunettes, I think. Weren't both Estella and Kelly Jo brunette?

Not to guys who go on this show.

Wasn't Meredith a so-called plus-size model? Meaning that she was probably a size 10-12. lol

I think most men prefer a more "normal" sized woman with some curves, or a more athletic build. Maybe that is why so few of these Bachelor romances work-all they give them is the thinner girls. Also, sometimes I have trouble telling the women apart. Their hairstyles, makeup, size, shape, and, of course, race, are always so similar. You'd think they would have some little tiny, short women, some women with short or curly hair, etc. I've always wondered if they know the Bachelor's "type" ahead of time and try to cater to that. If so, most of them seem to like average-height-to-tall, slender, blonde women with long, straight (or wavy) hair, and who wear a lot of makeup, and, for the most part, have similar taste in clothes (no bohemians, tomboys, goths, etc.). Also, realtors, sales reps and account representatives as opposed to any other profession or field.

As for "why aren't any of these women married?"--I don't think you have to be "defective" in some way to not be married at age 23-33 (or older). Women, especially well-educated, career women, tend to get married later in life. Even my mom, who got married in the 1950s, was a career woman and didn't marry until she was almost 35. And she had two children.

I missed tonight's episode. What's all this about DeAnna being back? Splainy, please?

In the season's montage at the end of the show, there are clips of DeAnna coming back. She states something to Jason that he hasn't proposed yet so there's still a chance (poor paraphrasing). Jason seems upset/confused about her being there. The women are pissed about it. It's unclear if she just makes an appearance or stays for some time.

Oh. My. I hope there's some big context that's missing, because on the face of it, that's just disgusting.

I think she also says something to him like, I made a mistake. This seems like it could only mean one thing, but you never know with the editing on this show.