from foodnetwork.com:

These are the kinds of Italian arrusspiees that, if you cook them, might get you two in the hat. Salut!

PS: Hold snark until 10:30 AM Eastern. :)

Woah..... is that a CHAIR in the middle of her tablescape?????

Is she being sponsored by the Council for Satin Clothing this season?

I can't tell how much time lapse their was with the ravioli, but it seems like there wasn't much at all. That would make for some still cold filling.

Bloody hell, she's pre-chopped a tomato? Suppose she can't say that she has already chopped a tomato. No, that would make sense. And that 1/2 teaspoon of balsamic won't do much for the pepper sugar dip.

That beef is going to be icky.

Did anyone else hear a VO when she was describing the Italian seasoning? How does she mess that up? She's had so much practice going on and on about the wonderful herbs in it.

When the MV steak is presented at the end, I'm going to point and laugh. No meat could brown when put on the grill dripping wet with tomato sauce.

What a brilliant serving dish for the pasta! Someone should shove a spoon in there really quickly and send pasta flying all over the tablescape, lol.

Lol, I KNEW she would make up for the homemade recipe by being stupid about the panna cotta. She really does think the only way to get homemade flavor is to add extracts! Because the panna cotta was totally homemade and she said she was adding tons of extract to it to give it homemade flavor! That's great!

Hmm, someone doesn't like that panna cotta. When she looked down after tasting it, I thought she was gonna spit it out. Did you see the look on her face?

That's a big 1/3 glass of vodka, isn't it? Good to see the surprise choking hazard.

She looks preggo in that shirt.

I KNEW THAT WAS A CHAIR!!!!! Nice how she doesn't mention how to keep it diagonal without tipping over.

WOAH BIG BLUE GLASS! This tablescape is something else. I like the plates, but everything else is overkill. And totally ridiculous. And the fried ravioli doesn't go with the chair.

I see we are still in our satin blouse phase.

You can do almost anything with store bought ravioli? Really? I can use them to paint my living room? I can use them as laundry detergent?

What is her obsession with pre-thawing pre-frozen food? Will the universe implode if we dare add frozen food to our hot pan?

Ooh, I can see all of the flllavors covering the penne.

I have to admit it: I’m stunned that Slop went through all that monkey business to make panna cotta. The only real Semi-HO thing she did was using the chocolate flavored-syrup.

Where is the topiary? The tall vase of silk roses was not a topiary. The chair with faux vines and morning glories was not a topiary. Only in Sandy-land, I guess.

Color me livid. LIVID. My family is from St. Louis, where toasted ravioli were invented. And I'll fully admit to having made them with storebought ravioli, but. . .

You've got to bread them first, bitch. And you serve them with drawn butter or marinara sauce, not chunky red pepper "sauce" and certainly not artichoke dip. Blechhh.

The V/Os are worse than ever--it didn't even sound like her voice when she said the Almond Melk had "the most subtle almond flavor."

The Satin Shirt of the Week is ruched funny--it looks like it's been pinned up on the sides to accentuate her waist and give lift to her saggy bosoms. I'm surprised she let wardrobe get away with it--there's neither cling nor cleavage.

Why the fuck is there a gold chair ON the table? Yes, because there's nothing Italians love like tacky ass gold furniture and "ratty ole' fringe." I hope her "friend" Cuomo sees what she thinks of our people. I'd like to bring NIAFF down on her ass.

Her face looked seriously bloated in that last shot. And the jacket was so many levels of wrong.

She huffed a bottle of wine because it wasn't cocktail time.

And I'll bite: Why can't you put the pannacotta in the fridgerator until it cools down?

That poor chair is being suffocated by the clearance bin at Michael's.

And those cute little cards come from a gigantic stationary emporium in NYC within 10 minutes of the Food Network studios. They're ridiculously expensive. Michael's carries similar cards, but not in that size, color, or quality of paper.

- Who died? Who puts a gigantic funeral flower arrangement in their kitchen? Who would do that? Oh. I know who. Check it out - there's a biiig blue urn on the other side of the sink too. Is that Dicey or Lorraine in there? Or maybe both.

- "Wait till you see what I drizzle [the dessert] with." It looks like you "drizzled it with" diaharrea. Thanks, I'll wait.

- Oooh - fancydancy new cheese joins the lineup - asiago!

- Tomatoes and roasted red peppers - you didn't choose them for the taste at all. You chose them because they match your pretty red top.

- Again with the "man-aise". Ew. (12)

- SLoP is going to tear a rotator cuff someday, what with the way she throws her whole shoulder into her chopping "technique".

- Those Ihtahhhyun beefs, before the cooking, looked like mutilated penises. Whoot!

- "Ihtahhyun seasoning has everything you could want." Liar.

- Almun melk. *sigh* Imunna run out at 10:32 and buy me some!

- "I want to cut this against the grain." No explanation as to how we can FIND the grain - that might help. It's OK - that's really one of the Millies doing the actual slicing you see. Those Millies sure know what they're doing (except for that part about gluing coffee mugs into the shape of a skyscraper).

- Omigod! That "smoking jacket" she's wearing for Tableskape Time looks like it came out of Jimmy Page's wardrobe, circa 1973! Hilarious!

Dang! I just tuned in as she was pouring the "penne" cotta. She said "penne" did she not?

The freakin' CHAIR on the table, with the "ratty old fringe". BAH!

The kreative kurtain looked like a huge gold lame' bra.

That's all I have. I need to catch the repeat and fully absorb it all. Can't wait to read all the snark!

When I saw the place card that said "Rich", I immediatly thought the other cards would say "Thick" and "Delicious".

WTF was with the chair as the centerpiece. "Ratty old fringe???" Boy that sounds appetizing. I thought that she was going to take a swig out of that Chianti, I was surprised when she just smelled it.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! What the FUCK was that GIANT flower thing on her counter in the intro? It looked like Audrey 2 from Little Shop of Horrors. Which is also an appropriate name for Aunt Sandy’s kitchen, now that I think about it. But this is one plant that won’t cry out, “Feeeeeeed Meeeeeeeeeeee” that’s for sure.

That whole “menu” looked like it tasted like the way feet smell.

Wow did you all SEE the FLAVOR coming out of those aaarrrrroooaassted red peppers when she was cutting them? Yeah, me neither.

Those dips were WAY too chunky to be dips. They were spreads. Another word with which Snads is quite familiar, I’m guessing

Awesome knife skillz “chopping” those artichokes. That was actually really hilarious – she’s throwing her entire body weight into the knife, and the foleyed slicing noises were so over the top. Awesome. Same with the parsley.

Non-Sequitur #429,552: “This menu is bursting with flavor and my theme is bursting with color I love all the royal colors so I put them together HERE >spoons white dip into coffee cups<”

What was up with the jump-jiggle-thumbs up with the announcement that “we are halfway to dinnertime” ??

When she’s taking the beef off the grill: “I cooked this on seven minutes on each side….” WHAT?

Does she keep calling it penne cotta instead of panna cotta?

Oh, and Snads? It takes more than a “quick whisk” over just-turned-on heat to dissolve sugar. Can’t wait for the Fandras to fuck that up. And almond melk is nasty… and using gelatin powder this way will be a disaster at home. Sheet gelatin is the only way to do panna cotta.

Re: the almond ackstract, another great quote: “That just makes it nice and rich and it tastes like it’s made from scratch and so will your kitchen.” WHAT?

Putting the beef on the platter: “>long pause< Place your meat. >long pause<” (snerk)

While filling the ramekins with the penne cotta joos, did she really say, “I’m justonna fill these ramekins up evenly….. and let this set on the sink once they’re filled” and then four seconds later, “okay, these are gonna go back here on the counter…” which is not the sink. Sink = counter. F’ntastic.

That koktail would taste like shit. And look like shit in those tacky glasses.
That tableskape and her jacket looked like the Home Department at JC Penney threw up.

The chair. Spray-painted. Sitting on the table. Just what I want to hear about something that’s going to be 6 inches away from my food: “I got this ratty old fringe and stapled it on here.”

And WTF with the re-do on the Fab-ruh-zhay aig theme again? Were these the castoffs from her previous episode in which she claimed to be doing an anniversary dinner for one of her imaginary friends who had a Fabruzhay Aig theme at her wedding, or some shit?

She HAS to be in on the joke. This cannot be real.

AN OLD CHAIR. WITH STAPLED RATTY FRINGE ON TOP OF THE TABLE.

This ranks up there with the Koktail Tree, the Lamp Cords of Death, and Berry Time as my favorite tableskapes.

Happy birthday to me!

I wasn't paying too much attention this week, but the quote of the week HAS to be: "everyone loves artichoke and red pepper, so making them in separate dips is a great flavour combination!"

Huh?

"You can see how juicy and delicious these peppers are". "Wet and slimy" is more like it.

SLop used a bag of frozen pre-cut asparagus spears? Lazy, much?

ETA: SLop's quote.

So her pasta recipe at FN.com bears no resemblance to what she did on the show? Amazing that she can get away with this krap. I say this a lot, but here I go again: poor Fandras.

That was a butt ugly tablescape. The woman has absolutely no design sense and no ability to combine colors effectively. And all the cheap-looking faux flowers and vines. Gag.

When she showed the table, I was immediately struck by the Faberge egg dinnerware. I don't know if it's exactly the same plating, but it definitely wasn't her usual "discount store" find. Leave it to our Sandra to combine expensive (and kind of garish) plating with cheap-assed daykor.

Closer to dinnertime means closer to Koktail Time™!

Also, that "Italian Meat" as she kept calling it was over cooked and all of its joos was on the cutting board. I think her "Italian Meat" arrusipe was inspired by The Ladder.

Did you see how she stratched her mouth around that wooden spoon with the chocolate syrup on it? If you looked very closely at her face, I bet she has stretch marks around her mouth, and not from eating chocolate syrup off of a wooden spoon.

Happy Birthday Ubiquitous!!! Starting your birthday off with SLop is the best way to spend your birthday!!!


Post edited for Birthday Shout Out's

Ravioli piled up on top of each other to sit in their grease

Wouldn’t you make the sauces first and fry the ravioli second, so you don’t have to keep the ravioli warm in the oven?

I should really hope that tomato/pepper relish is completely different from the artichoke caper dip. If not, something’s very wrong. Neither, though, is the right texture for dipping ravioli.

For once she didn’t make gallons of sauces. I’d only want the artichoke dip, and that’s not nearly enough sauce.

Theme is “bursting with color.” That's why her sauces are red and green, huh?

Spaghetti sauce as marinade? I could almost see it. But with bottled Italian dressing? Foul, foul, foul. Have you ever put your salad on the same plate as your spaghetti? The Italian dressing and the spaghetti sauce sit, unblended, in this nasty little pool on your plate when you're done.

Tomato sauce and the Italian dressing is vinegar. More for the semi-equivalent thread!

For the pasta dish, she makes sure to tell us to use jarred yellow and red roasted peppers that are the same size. Does it really matter if your peppers are equal sizes if you’re just going to slice them into strips? I think she means to use equal amounts of red and yellow peppers, but the Fandras are going to be digging through the jars looking for two that match.

If that pan is on high heat, why is she sticking her fingertips right in there?

Did she really say she was adding things from her very own pantry and then go to the fridge for frozen onions and asparagus? Maybe she said kitchen not pantry. Somebody with Tivo will have to check for me.

10:13 – first appearance of alcohol, the Chianti for the steak sauce.

She said the 2 tbs of parsley was the fresh part of the asparagus dish. That’s it? Sweetie, that’s not anywhere close to 30%,

Why is she serving slippery pasta in what is basically a plate? The pasta’s going to slide right off.

The extracts will make the panna cotta taste like she made it from scratch. But she did. There’s nothing semi-homemade about this recipe. She must have a button to push that says “extracts will make it taste like you cooked it from scratch,” regardless if it makes any sense.

Oh, and extracts also take away that packaged product taste of the Hershey’s syrup! We get version B of the extract speech two minutes after version A.

Those ramekins were not filled evenly. The one center back was filled much higher.

I bet the almond milk panna cotta turned out chalky. From the look on Sandy’s face, it tastes pretty awful.

Why, oh, why does Sandra sound as if English is not her native language? Her sentence structure is worse than any I have ever encountered. And having much experience on university campuses(campi?), even the newly admitted foreign students have better structure.
If this is how she speaks with a script, good god-extemporaneous speaking must be a real WHOOT!
The food looked gross. It did, however, look better than whatever cat gack Robin Miller made prior to the start of Semi-Ho.
Those t-ravs were burned on the outside, and cold on the inside. The salsa (for that is what it was-to chunky for a dip) would fall off.
The chair-that was a huge WTF?! But she did have a ratty old birdbath on a 'scrape before, right? Or was it a birdhouse? Anywho, something with bird shit involved...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! She used a chair as a centerpiece!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *snerk* *giggle* *wipes eyes*

OK, better now. *giggle*

Oh, Sandra - adding extracts to Hershey's syrup makes it taste like Hershey's syrup with added extracts. Also, that panna cotta? Maybe it tastes like ass, but it is, in fact, made from scratch. "From scratch" doesn't require you to make your own almond milk or milk your own cows, Sandy dear. Also, almond milk? How many Fandras are going to be able to find that esoteric ingredient? Anyone know how much it costs?

Also, - GET THE DAMN AIR OUT OF THE MARINADE BAG!! God, that makes me nuts.

I don't know why, but that double thumbs-up gesture she's making all the time now is also making me nuts.

anneofcleves, I had the same thought about those Faberge-egg plates. I've seen them in catalogs, and I knew they were pricy. I'd love to have some of the dinner plates to add to my mixed collection of china, but I can't afford them.

cissyboo, Sandra did use a birdbath she claimed she dragged in from the garden in an earlier episode.

She put a CHAIR on the table. Heeheehee.

Watching her eat the "penne cotta" and hearing the words out of her mouth threw me into a mass of confusion. You can tell she thought it was vile, but then she was telling us how great it was. It threw my sleepy brain for a bit of a loop.

I also thought for sure she was going to chug that bottle of wine when she smelled it. I was suprised for a second that she was actually going to chug the bottle, then she didn't and I was disappointed.

That meat looked terrible, but what else is new. The crimes she he has committed against beef are too numerous to count.

It's pretty easy to find (now) and is usually around the soymilk. You can even make your own, if you're ambitious enough to want to do it. I used to buy it from time to time when my kids were in dairy allergy mode, and I'm not sure now but I think it's between $2 - $3 for a carton, maybe even more if you get it at a place like Whole Foods. She could have done the same thing with milk and real almond extract. It wouldn't have been so bad, and probably would cost less. I did not understand drizzling Hershey's syrup on it, though. I am so biased about Hershey's syrup and think that it should only be stirred INto a glass of milk or poured over good vanilla ice cream. But these are my hangups...



I long to see her do just this.



I usually favor the plain-jane variety, but she could have set a very pretty table with this china. Our Snads, however, just has to embellish to the point of absurdity. She has to have a busy tablecloth with stacks and stacks of stuff, and then more stuff perched atop and hanging from the other stuff. Oh, and a chair. Bwah. She has to be intentionally fucking with us. She cannot be serious.

Oh, and I thought her blouse did not match her tablescape well at all. Which is a surprise, given that she had pretty much every color in the spectrum represented on that table.

<Sandy> These extracts will make it taste like it's from scratch!

<Inigo Montoya> You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

<Sandy bats eyelashes> But extracts make it taste like it's from scratch!

<Inigo Montoya> But it is made from scratch.


Sandy logic terrifies me. I've gone over to the darkside and DVR her now, so I can go back and check again when she says nonsensical things. That happens a lot.

pre-chopped, pre-heated, pre-oiled, pre-shredded, pre-menopausal.

Happy birthday, Ubiquitous! Today's my birthday, as well.

Okay, I admit I'm prejudiced, because I can't stand the taste of bell peppers, but those jarred peppers even looked nasty. Seriously, I think I threw up in my mouth a little.

I love how she said she was going to "place the beef" on the plate, and then just pretty much dumped it into a big pile like it was offal. Really attractive presentation.

As others have pointed out, putting slippery pasta on a flat plate is just asking for it to be scattered all over the "tablescape."

I can understand the frozen asparagus if it's out of season; otherwise, I'm not even that lazy. I do have to admit I like the idea of chopped frozen onions; I didn't even realize something like that existed. I hate chopping onions, and for the rare occasions I use them, the frozen versions would work just as well.

My favorite, though, was the chair in the middle of the table. I guess that's helpful if you really have no interest in carrying on a conversation with your guests (or if you don't want them to talk to each other).

Or if you're playing one of Aunt Sandy's drinking games where the one who throws up first has to sit on the chair that is ON the table. Of course, that won't be Sandy...

I used them as both a floor wax AND a desert topping!

Sheesh Sands.... the obvious dips for the tiny fried ravioli are chunky dips?? No way would you be able to get those to work correctly. (hmmm.... perhaps I might need to try something out tomorrow for the test kitchen tomorrow while the Man is consumed with all things football - I have leftover Prego that can act as a real dip when those two suck).

So she tells us to be careful because there is oil on the artichoke.... did anyone ever tell her about frozen or canned in water artichokes? Hell, it'd give her a reason to open an EYEtalian seasoning packet!!!

"Now everyone I know loves artichokes and red peppers, so to do them in two seperate dips is a GRRRRReat combination?" What???!?!?

"Everyone in your family AND all your friends are going to llllllllove these ravioli." Was she actually telling us that only family and the people she considers friends are the only ones who ever rave about her cooking???

That poor beef.

Argh. Metal tongs scraping against the non-stick skillet. And then the whisk in the non-stick sauce pan. Ya know, there are starving children in China who would treat those non-stick pans like they deserved!!

LOL at the commercial, break with the Boar's head deli meat and the picky kids, unwilling to eat all the fried food that Aunt Sans tells us kids love. Thank you, Boar's Head!! I might need to buy some of your product just to show my support.

Ahhh Sands... to take away the packaged product taste of chocolate sauce..... add packaged product EGGstracts. Not, maybe, something like a little orange juice, or some alkeyhall... I think Sands thinks that it just can't be a desert without an extract. Seriously.

So after opening the bottle of chianti that is used for the half-ass sauce for the steaks, the obvious drink to serve with the meal is.... a Florence Fizzy. Not the rest of he bottle of chianti. *smacks self in head* When she said the chianti smelled great, I guess I was half expecting her to tell us it would go great with vodka.



They don't. You totally loose the sweetness of onion when you use the frozen ones.

Ye Gods.... her dinner jacket??? I used to have jackets like that. In the 80s. When I was a teenage sneaking in to bars. And jackets like that were actually *slightly* in style.

Thank you, Sandy, for showing me how to remove a sticker from its backing. Here I've been, all these years, hot gluing the whole thing to where I wanted it placed........

Attention to detail,my ass!!!...bad carving job,even worse plate placement,and a drizzle of gag sauce...and believe me,you can take ALLLLL the credit on that one,Sandy.

I am definitely calling a major 'Bull-shit' on the grillmarks on that 'eye-talian' beef!...the MV on that 'job' should at least had made the marks closer together and not on a diagonal....shame on you,MV!

On the ravioli, jeez, why are you painstakingly picking each of those tiny ravioli out of the oil with tongs? It's painful to watch. Get yourself a spider strainer, woman!

"These ravioli are a Semi-Homemade staple" = "These ravioli are available online at marketday.com"

Whore.

I still want to know what happened to the freakin' topiaries! There were none in this episode. The funeral arrangement in the kitchen was not a topiary. The fugly chair with its ratty fringe and silk flowers are not topiaries. The huge blue vase with the out-of-proportion flowers stuck in it is not a topiary. Where are the topiaries, SLop?


Freezing and then thawing the onions destroys the cell walls, so the texture of a frozen onion is different from a fresh onion. MissOrchidgal spent a lot of time trying to convince her high school foods class teacher that chilling an onion in the refrigerator before slicing it helps to control the release of the fumes from the cut onion. I always keep my onions in the fridge at home and it does help somewhat.

The best part of which is that it easily cost $200 for the faux flowers in the tablescape and funeral urn in the kitchen. Yet she says it saves money....

SHE USED A CHAIR IN THE TABLESCAPE. A CHAIR!!!!!

Well, that is slightly better than laying a rug or a quilt on the table.

Sandy obviously didn't pay attention to Alton Brown when he taught us how to properly slice a flank steak. The way it was cut, it would still be tough as the fibers were too long.

Orchidgal:



Ah, okay, I didn't realize that. I rarely use them, since I don't like raw onions at all, and use finely chopped (cooked) onions in just a few things, so I guess I'll just keep doing it the "old fashioned" way.

MichelleAK, if you only need a little bit of chopped onion rarely, they do sell 'pre-chopped' onions in the produce department of your regular groshury store. <Please get SLop out of my head>

On topic: How can Sandy take a relatively simple recipe like bellini and screw it up by adding vodka?

Because she can.

I missed most of this travesty, but I can't wait until Monday. You guys never fail to call it as you see it, and it's always right on the money.

A chair? In the tableskape? Fuck me. Seriously?

Haven't watched this yet, but wanted to drop in and say Happy Birthday to MichelleAK and ubi! Might be back later after viewing.

Can I just tell you?

I think she saw Clemenza add Chianti to his spaghetti sauce in "The Godfather" and thought it was a f'ntastic idea to pilfer.

Why/how is she always so damn pleased with herself?

Heaven help me; I just figured out what she meant by "royal colors." I believe the linguistically-challenged Miss Lee meant the colors of the Italian flag.

Those flowers looked like something you'd see in a really tacky catering hall on Long Island.

Re: the names on the cute l'il placecards: One was Craig (her producer, listed in the credits) and another was Maja, who, I suspect, is MV. The MV we saw in the pre-show photos of her "Good Morning America (?)" appearance in July looked like she could be a Maja. I guess her friends have asked that she not use their names so now she's reduced to using the names of the crew. She'll have to hit the Manhattan white pages next.

My fervent hope is that Mario and Matilda Cuomo see this. And that I get a transcript of the conversation with Andrew that ensues.

I've had a few hours since the episode aired to really think about this, and c'mon. She has to be in on the joke, right? Couldn't you imagine drinking with your friends and coming up with this bizarre shit as a JOKE? And yet, she puts it on the air? How awesome is that. It's like the ultimate practical joke on 54 million viewers every freakin' week!

And yet, then I am reminded of her Kurtain Kraft beginnings and her daddy issues, and the other side of the argument becomes more pronounced -- that she really has no taste or class, and this is shit she thinks is awesome/tasty/tasteful/"ulligant."

I can't come down on one side or the other of this conundrum. I'm stuck.

I need to find someone who truly knows her and has worked with her who will share the scoop. I will make that my mission for the next few months.... because if Argument A is true? Then she is fucking awesome.

Interesting, PreviouslyAmish. You've heard of that show about 6 degrees or whatever? Start with Mary Hart or Florence Henderson, then spread out. You're bound to hit Sandra sooner or later, through whatever convoluted trail.

And if that were true, then SLop'd be the best actress who ever lived and my brain hurts at that thought. But on the other hand, can someone truly be so utterly clueless? Wait... <orchidgal looks at Aunt Sandy>, maybe...

Okay, I admit I'm prejudiced, because I can't stand the taste of bell peppers, but those jarred peppers even looked nasty. Seriously, I think I threw up in my mouth a little.

I actually love the jarred roasted red peppers. I love red bell peppers and the jarred ones make it easy to add a little to the dish, especially considering that those damn things are usually $1 to $1.50 a piece. Ridiculous. I don't like the green ones, but I love the yellow, orange, and red ones and they are expensive!

Great stuff, as usual, PA. The very first time I saw this show, I thought, "Oh this is a put-on. She cannot be serious." I played a tape of the Kwanzaa Cake fisaco for my mom last Christmas and she basically said the same thing. Then after watching for a few months, I wasn't so sure. After all there's not only the TV show, there's books, a website, personal appearances, and other things involving the whole Semi-Ho empire. Things that real people spend real money on, and with that must come a certain credibility. If it's a put-on, Sandy is taking this money and snickering behind her back, "Suckers!" Maybe these SH consumers really do get something out of it - we know there are Fandras out there (as evidenced by Nolamom's posts); all we do is snark - and that's great fun too. So maybe you're on to something here.....I got the she's-putting-us-on vibe again when Sunset Clambake aired; and I think the Cocktail Tree clinched it. She is putting us on. But the show rolls on with no sign of slowing down; and we continue the snark happily. I guess in the end what I'd like to see (FoodTV are you listening?) is a disclaimer in the credits (make the font as tiny as you'd like) that says: "This is a parody of a cooking/decorating show" That might, paradoxically, add some measure of credibility to these trainwrecks. [/rant]

Awesome! Happy birthday to you, too!

You mean the title to this thread is correct?

Having met her briefly, I have to say she'd have to be the best actress who ever lived. She totally didn't get the Ziplock joke when I asked her to sign them. She didn't even crack a smile. If the show were a joke, if she were playing a character, you'd think she'd vamp it up when given material to work with. There was zero self-awareness there. If she chose to act oblivous though, it worked, and she's one hell of an actress.

Dammit, woman! "Ravioli" is already plural. "Raviolis" is redundant, not a word, and makes you sound like an idiot. Which, come to think of it, is also redundant.



Hah! I couldn't pay attention to the "cooking" because I was too distracted by the Bouquet of Doom lurking menacingly over her shoulder.

Because she's drunk, honey™.


Help Needed: How do you do the trademark symbol?


Post edited to ask for help.

Beat me to it,TableScapeHtr!

Ha! "Flores. Flores. Flores para los muertos." to quote Tennessee Williams (Streetcar)

I was too distracted trying to read the closed captioning 'cause she was making less sense than usual even.

And WKYOWSW... every time the captioner translates SLopese to "I'm gonna" you wish they would just stick to the original "Imonna."

Type this : <open paren>tm<close paren> (NO spaces)

Of course, "<open paren>" is a ( and "<close paren>" is a )

Stop in to the Test Zone and have some fun!

Ugh....those dips for the ravoli looked horrible. Just what I needed after seeing RM's salmon/chickpea/instant rice salad.

What was she referring to when she said, "royal colors" about the dips, or did I mis-hear her?

"Rose" red and yellow peppers....

That pasta dish looked really bland. No comment on the "Italian steak."

ITA, that she looked mortified when she tasted the "penne cotta." I think that almond milk would be far too thin and runny to use as an ingredient.

She really said, "ratty old fringe" for the chair. This past week, some tenants didn't get their lease renewed, so they had to move and thus, abandoned a bunch of icky furniture at the dumpster, including a set of ugly white dining room chairs that had some type of "bow" design on the back. Gee, if I'd watched this episode just a wee bit earlier, I would have salvaged them for future tablescapes. Someone else beat me to the punch. WHO would think of using a dirty old chair for a centerpiece?

Whuddah thunk that she'd resort to "mis-matched" dinnerware?

Regarding that huge floral arrangement on the kitchen counter. It reminded me of an Italian restaurant here in KC. It is a long-standing tight-knit family eaterie that earns 4-5 stars in national reviews. However, I am even afraid to mention the name (they have hosted Giada for book-signings.) Anyway, the restaurant used to be about 4 miles away in this pink stucco building that resembled a funeral home. When you walked in, there was one of those in front of the mirror tables in the foyer that had a huge bouquet of silk flowers, like SLOPs. Lucky for me, that they sold that building and relocated just around the corner from me and the new day-kor is much more modern and relaxed. I can go there sometimes because there also is a deli where you can order sandwiches, pizzas, etc., and can get good deals on slice of pizza (white clam is to die for.)

It's the place I've mentioned that didn't know how to make a mojito and made it with basil instead.

Is this a new season? I noticed the new intro a few weeks ago and wondered. I am disappointed by what is being churned out lately. No more "klassics" like "Carnival," "Safari," "Picnic," etc. Well, at least we have Halloween to look forward to.

Or a chandelier in a tree in the park.

I only caught her saying it about the tablescape. At any rate, she was stuck on the idea of royal colors. I suppose because of the Faberge egg plates? What it all has to do with topiaries I don't know. Royalty have gardens? Royal gardens have topiaries? The kings and queens play with Faberge eggs while walking through their topiary garden, and return hungry wanting fried ravioli? Ugh. My head throbs...

I'll have to catch it again on Monday. By tablescape time, I was so flabbergasted by the chair with the floral junk twined around it, plus her instructions for making the placecards, that I was no longer paying much attention.

Same here. I tuned out at cocktail time. I might actually be able to see the Monday repeat. I'll have to remember to watch it.