I wonder why no one's made a thread like this before. I can't have been the first to think of it, but if I am, woohoo!

Mine is the episode of Scrubs where Elliot and J.D. just broke up, and are doing those heartfelt, heartbreaking interviews about not having a boyfriend/girlfriend. I was totally jaded about TV at the time, nothing good seemed to be on, and I was amazed a show still had that kind of raw emotion in it still. So, I'm nominating that one, and if anyone could name the episode and season number for me I'd be grateful.

Anyway. . . talky!

For me it would be the episode of Fraiser: An Affair To Forget where he suspects that Maris is cheating on Niles because of a caller on his show. From Roz' suggestion to the caller that she should offer to cook two different meals to see if the caller's husband is having an affair and right on through the duel between Niles and the fencing instructor ("Just what we need - a fourth language") I get puppy-happy whenever I see it.

Fraiser translating: "He says he did not steal your ... shoes?"

Dusting off the classics I would submit The Dick Van Dyke Show: Coast-to-Coast Big Mouth when Laura outs Alan Brady as being bald. The best scene is when Laura goes to his office to apologise and Alan has all his toupees atop mannequin heads lined up on his desk. Alan says something to the toupes' along the lines of, "There she is fellas, there's the lady that's put you out of work!"

Laura: "There must be some needy bald people!"

For me it is the Full Monty episode of the Drew Carey show.

The music was great and the script tight. It is one of the few episodes I can watch again and again.

Blackadder Goes Forth: Goodbyeee. The finale of the season set in the trenches of WW1. Blackadder making increasingly desperate efforts to avoid having to go over the top, including pretending to be mad by putting pencils up his nose and a pair of underpants on his head. Then, at the end, when they have to go over the top, and we fade out as they charge to near certain death... It's one of the most moving things I've ever watched.

From a purely funny standpoint (though sticking to the war theme), Fawlty Towers: The Germans, including the true classic exchange:

"Would you please stop talking about the war?"
"Well, you started it."
"We did not!"
"Yes you did, you invaded Poland!"

I have a few picks:

*The pilot for My Name Is Earl. It was the perfect setup for what would fast become one of my favourite shows.

*The dream episode of M*A*S*H. During a particularly rough stretch in the OR, they showed all the principal character's dreams, which ranged from whimsical (Col. Potter playing polo with hand grenades) to insightful (Winchester performing magic tricks (and even tap dancing!) in the OR while a patient dies in front of him) to sad (B. J. going from dancing with his wife to operating on a patient in one fluid motion, while his wife sadly goes on with another partner) to tragic (Klinger goes home to Toledo, looks in a storefront, and sees himself dying on an operating table) to downright chilling (I swear, the scene of an armless Hawkeye floating in a sea full of severed mannequin limbs still gets to me).

*While we're talking about M*A*S*H, Col. Blake's final episode was like a punch in the gut that I'm still feeling.

*"The Biggest Douche In the Universe", the episode of South Park that perfectly skewered John Edward, and other phony psychics like him.

*The first Thanksgiving episode of Mad About You, where they had to keep buying turkeys because they kept getting ruined. (Close second: the one where they had to track down the sex tape they made and accidentally returned to the video store.)

*I can't mention Thanksgiving episodes without talking about WKRP. "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!" Heeee-larious!

*The episode of Friends where the girls lose the apartment.

No doubt I'll think of more later.

WKRP's Thanksgiving epidsode was probably the funniest episode I can recall on any sitcom. As for the more serious episodes of comedies, I'd have to say "They Shoot Fat Women, Don't They?" from Designing Women. Amazing dialogue and some stellar acting by Delta Burke.

I agree. That pilot was perfect. So perfect, in fact, that for me the series hasn't produced an episode as good as the pilot yet.

How about Arrested Development's "Pier Pressure"? The funniest, most heartfelt and satisfying episode ever. From "and that's why you always leave a note!" to Hot Cops, it's a rollercoaster ride of brilliance of epic proportions. Hm. I need to go watch it right now.

Totall agree on the dream episode of MASH, although for me it was Fr. Mulcahey's which was the most memorable. He's just been named pope and during the ceremony in the mess hall drops of blood begin falling on his Bible. The camera lingers on the feet of Jesus on the cross. When the Father looks up, Christ is changed into a soldier being crucified. The whole time, the doctors in the OR are acting as if nothing unusual is going on.

The first thing that comes to mind is the Mad About You episode in which Paul wants to make a documentary about their ordinary lives. The few minutes during which Jamie's sister comes in talking about her lovelife (and makes a positively filthy, especially for the time, reference) and changes her shirt unaware of the camera are wonderful.

And the next, which I have mentioned before and will continue to champion because I'm one of about four people who liked this show: the Naked Realtor episode of Almost Perfect. The Naked Realtor herself was a minor subplot, but that's what sticks with me and I'm loyal to it.

I'd have to say Mary Tyler Moore Show's Chuckles Bites The Dust is one of the best half hours ever because it just builds and builds and builds and finally just explodes in awesomeness at the funeral.

So many AD episodes could be called, IMHO, the best half-hour ever. At the moment, I'm in love with "The Righteous Brothers." It's hilarious and there are so many touching Michael and GOB moments. I can watch the final "Everything I do (I do it for you)" over and over again.

I love the episode of Frasier where his past wives and mother come to psychoanalyze him and his problems with women. It was witty, hilarious, well-performed, and psychologically meaningful.

Sports Night has had some great episodes. I would like to nominate "What Kind of Day Has It Been" (an oft used Sorkinian term). It's so beautiful with Isaac finally coming back to work in the midst of the office's chaos. All finished with that group family picture. Sorkin could really write back then. What happened?

Three nominees:

1. The Naked Ant episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus. Six words: Upper Class Twit of the Year
2. The Turkeys Away episode of WKRP in Cincinnati. "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly."
3. The Cape Feare episode of The Simpsons. "No one who speaks German could be an evil man."

Aside from Hawkeye's dream, Margaret's was pretty creepy. She's in a wedding dress and she runs toward the man she's going to marry. They lie down on a bed. When she touches him, she notices blood on her hand. Then she sees casulties lying on the bed next to her. She jumps up and sees blood all over her dress.

I like the MASH episode where BJ is bummed because he can't be there for his wedding anniversary. The whole gang asks Peg to send a home movie with his voice-over telling Hawkeye what they do on their anniversary.

Apparently I have a thing with '80s flashback-themed episodes.

*Lisa's First Word from The Simpsons, in which Marge and Homer tell Bart and Lisa the story of Lisa's arrival and subsequent first word ("Bart"). At the end, Lisa and Bart are fighting since it's been half an hour, and as Homer puts Maggie to bed, he tells her, "The sooner they talk, the sooner they fight. I hope you never talk", leading to Maggie sitting up, pulling out her pacifier and saying "Daddy". Makes me cry every time.

*It was an hour-long episode, but "Lows in the Mid '80s", the flashback episode of Will & Grace, in which the title characters reminisce about Will coming out to Grace after proposing marriage to her. Absolutely hilarious but also very poignant.

Great thread! Kudos to you libraian.

Fraizer - The Ski Lodge episode "I am not gay Gee!"
Dick Van Dyke Show - Haunted Cabin Episode

Newsradio - "Complaint Box"

The episode of I Love Lucy when Lucy tells Ricky she's having a baby. OK, that's a sentimental one for me.

The episode of Will & Grace called "The Honeymoon's Over." The main story in this episode involves Karen, who has no place to go following her reveal to Stan that she has been unfaithful, moving in with Will while Grace is on her honeymoon. The funniest scene ever from that show is in this episode, in which Will meets Grace after she comes back from her honeymoon, and they enter the apartment, and Karen is passed out while Tom Jones' "It's Not Unusual" skips on the CD player. Will freaks out, shakes Karen awake, who sleepily blurts out "Grace Adler Designs!" as if she's at work. I'd tell you more but I think you all should find out how funny it is yourselves. :)

From the same scene when Will and Grace walk in on a passed-out Karen while "It's Not Unusual" plays over and over...I love the way Grace says, "Well...this is unusual." It's all in the delivery, but it cracks me up. Every time I happen to hear that song (which, good lord, I try to avoid it), I can't help but repeat, "Well, this is unusual."

I can't believe I forgot that part while I was typing! That totally made the scene too. Then when Karen runs away and they find her licking an ice cream cone, sitting on a bench with some maids, they ask what she's doing and she makes a comment about "hanging out with three Rosarios." Priceless.

Heh--

"You got peanut butter in my chocolate."
"You got chocolate in my peanut butter."
"Together they taste like crap."
"I try to be good hard-worker-man, but refrigemater so messy, so so messy."
"I think that one's probably from Milos, the janitor."
"Oh. Refrigem... oh, then that one's legitimate.

My sis & I quote this one to each other allll the time-excellent choice! Of course, we love much of NewsRadio--in our family, it is required to shout "Jimmy Jaaaaaaammmeeees!" the minute Stephen Root appears in anything (voice or live). It's a badge of honor to be the one to get it out first.

edited to fix quote tag

Nothing from Seinfeld yet? The Contest still floors me every time.

"The woman across the street has nothing on, nothing on, nothing on!"

Gotta give my vote for the episode of Friends where Ross and Rachel kiss for the first time. The ending with him standing outside the door in the rain as she unlocks it, then him sweeping her into his arms and the kiss.......sigh.

It was before the days of spoilers and it truly gave me goosebumps. And ten-plus years later, it's still, IMHO, one of the best kisses ever.

Seconding the earlier vote for the final episode of Blackadder Goes Forth. Extraordinarily funny as Blackadder feigns madness, then the simple pathos of Lieutenant George (Hugh Laurie) remembering his friends from university and what happened to them in the war - his lack of understanding makes it extra moving. And that ending - the most daring thing I've ever seen in a sitcom, but how else could they have ended it? More moving than a shedload of Wilfred Owen poems.

No mention of the "Slap Bet" episode of How I Met Your Mother. There are so many great individual things about the episode. It could just have Robin Sparkles and it would be hilarious. Or it could just have the slap bet decision and it would be great.

I've got to suggest "Hell" from Father Ted. The entire piece is perfectly crafted, including Mrs Doyle speech about cake, the nightmare caravan, the first introduction of 'Father Larry Duff', Ted and Dougal's constant encounters with the couple on holiday...topped off by Graham Norton as the (insane) Father Noel Forlong, wanting to have 'a bit of an old Riverdance.'

I'll vote for "As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!"

I will also nominate Coupling, "The Girl With Two Breasts" and "Jane and the Truth Snake."

From Friends I would nominate "The One Where Heckles Dies."

I agree with so many of the posts already. One of the funniest half hour episode might just be Chuckle's Bites the Dust from The Mary Tyler Moore show. That episode is getting to be, what, close to 40 years old? And it still is hilarious. That scene where she breaks down is still hilarious, even in clipform.

The WKRP Thankgiving is another of my top favourites. I have it on my computer somewhere. The last 10 minutes could easily be the funniest 10 minutes of scripted televions ever.

One of my newer must see favourite episodes, is the Frasier where he does the radio play that just goes ever so badly. Best part is when Niles kills the remainig cast out of spite to Frasier, and when Mr. Wing dies, Nole rings his bell.

"Oh no! He's got a nug!" hee!

You all are making me remember so many more that I'd forgotten about. Pier Pressure and many others from Arrested Development were fantastic.

How about the Family Ties episode where Alex is tutoring Mallory for a spot on the scholastic team?

"Self contained, underwater, breathing, apparatus!!!"
"And who invented it?!"
"Magellen!"
::headdesk::

Also, the WKRP (another show that had many hysterical episodes), where they were doing the effects of drinking on your system. Hee! "I wanna hat. The cop's got a hat. I wanna hat, too."

Some of my favourite half-hour episodes of all belong to cult UK comedy Spaced.

1) "Art" - how can you not love an episode of television that involves the lead, while on a cheap speed trip, punching a non gender-specific performance artist named Vulva, thinking s/he is a zombie. If you like Shaun of the Dead, this episode is the catalyst for it's existence.

2) "Gone" - The whole episode is hilarious, but these 2 scenes make it a masterpiece.

Barney Miller

There was an episode where everyone except Barney get stoned on brownies made from hashish. One of them said his eyeballs made noise, "Squish, squish, squish."

Ooh, that "Barney Miller" was awesome! I remember that Yemana kept going "mushie mushie" at people, and then when Barney found out what was going on he handed Harris the remaining brownies and told him to have them analyzed, and Harris popped one into his mouth with a smile and Barney said "Not that way!" and it just kept going like that.

I was going to come on and endorse, predictably, my absolute favorite sitcom episode, "Lucy's Italian Movie" from "I Love Lucy", and then realized that what I love is the last ten minutes and I have serious problems with the rest of the episode, so if we were talking about the best ten minutes ever, that would be my comedy pick, but best half hour ever? Not so much...

So with that in mind, in addition to that awesome "Barney Miller", I also endorse the WKRP Thanksgiving episode, and submit for your consideration "Birth 101" from "Murphy Brown". Yeah, I know people say having the kid wrecked the show [and I can see both sides of that] but the childbirth episode itself was terrific - very funny, but also very moving, and used the entire regular cast to good effect.

Oh, yeah, and "Sports Night"'s "What Kind of Day Has It Been?"

The pot episode of Roseanne - "A Stash From The Past." The bathroom scene with Roseanne, Dan and Jackie stoned is one of the most deliriously funny things I have ever seen on television.

As well, numerous episodes of Arrested Development, including my favorite, "Meet The Veals" (where Tobias, as Mrs. Featherbottom, attempts a Mary Poppins-esque living room entry in order to impress Maeby.)

Dick Van Dyke -- for a classic, "Coast To Coast Big Mouth," already mentioned, is an excellent choice, but I would be tempted to choose either "It May Look Like a Walnut," because it was such a wacky, out-there departure for the show (Laura sliding out of the coat closet on a sea of walnuts is just priceless), or "That's My Boy??", which I remember from first viewing as having one of the all-time great visual punchlines. Maybe you had to be there then to understand, but it punctured the unwritten "nice suburban people don't ever mention race" rule in the most unexpected and down-to-earth way.

Mary Tyler Moore -- Everybody mentions "Chuckles," with reason, but I would choose "The Lars Affair." Gaspingly funny, and it completely revised the tv audience's opinion of Betty White.

M*A*S*H. For me, no contest (and despite my general preference for the funny episodes): "Point of View." A different way of seeing the 4077, literally through the eye of a wounded soldier passing through, and unbearably poignant when we leave at the end.

Friends -- "The One Where Nobody's Ready" always contains more than I remember, and plays out in real time inside the apartment. Joey's "I'm Chandler! Could I be wearin' any more clothes?" Monica's unfortunate phone message. And the introduction of "going commando" into the general vernacular. (I do, however, also love the one with the quiz, that gets the boys the big apartment.)

Mad About You -- The family Thanksgiving with all the turkeys.

NewsRadio -- So hard to choose just one, but I do love the one with all the daydreams.

Will & Grace -- the one with Neil Patrick Harris as the leader of the ex-gay support group. Just genius: "Well, if it's a heterosexual soapdown...."

Arrested Development -- one perfect half-hour after another, but I too would pick "Pier Pressure" if I can have just one. "They're not real cops! Look how hot they are!" "And that's why you always leave a note!"

My Name Is Earl -- many fine episodes, but I'll be iconoclastic and choose one from Season 2: either "Our COPS Is On!" or the one with the TWoP shout-out.

How I Met Your Mother -- It has been getting better and better in Season 2, and several episodes have been very ingeniously constucted (much in the manner of the UK Coupling, for which I'd pick "The Girl with Two Breasts"). Limited to one, "Slap Bet" for hilarity, or "Brunch" for ingenuity.

And then there's always Fawlty Towers: 12 episodes and not a dud among them. The ones that reduce me to helpless gibbering are "Gourmet Night" and "Basil the Rat."

The Simpsons - The one where Johnny Cash guest stars as a coyote. Homer eats a very hot chili pepper which causes him to halucinate. He meets a space coyote who tells him to find his soul mate.

I'd have to nominate the episode of Ab Fab from season 2, entitled Death. From beginning to end, it is one of the funniest half hours of comedy and just shows how great Jennifer Saunders is as a writer/actress.

I came to post this one. This was my favorite episode of a sitcom ever. I think it is absolutely amazing that it plays in real time. It was the best-written Friends episode, and everyone got equal time. Wonderful. "What are you going to do? Show me my clothes?" Isn't that also the one where someone had to eat the fat? Even if it isn't also that one, it was the best.

It is. Ross was going to drink the fat to prove his love for Rachael.

Having posted my list, I forgot to include anything from Frasier. The pinnacles to me are its three classic farce episodes (all written, I believe, by Joe Keenan): "The Matchmaker" (Frasier sets up his new station manager -- with Daphne, but the guy thinks he's on a date with Frasier), "The Two Mrs. Cranes" (Daphne's old boyfriend comes for a visit and everyone pretends to be someone else), and "The Ski Lodge" (Daphne's friend wants Niles while he's pursuing Daphne who is after the ski instructor who's bewitched by Niles). All just classic pieces of clockwork in which all the pieces fit perfectly, and the lies and confusions are made to seem perfectly plausible while we're watching.

rofl. Phoebe's "I got the hummus!" and Monica's "I'm breezy!/Maybe I'm just getting my period or something" do make that a viable contender for best Friends episode ever.

"Ham Radio" (Fraiser's ill-advised attempt to recreate a radio play) from season 4 Fraiser stands toe-to-toe wih any other contender for Best! Half-Hour! Ever!, if only for this exchange:

I love the Malcolm in the Middle episode that's done in Sliding Doors fashion: The boys take a trip to the bowling alley; in one version of reality Hal takes them, in one, Lois takes them. What happens next depends entirely on who drove them there, and it's hilarious.

Speaking of Blackadder, I nominate either of the two episodes featuring Flashheart. "I like the beard, bridemaid. It gives me something to hold onto! Woof!"

What a great explanation, and it doesn't spoil the joke. A great moment, made all the better by Rob's freak out up until ... well, you know. It's tough to pick a best TDVDS episode - so many are outstanding.

Oh, yeah, "That's My Boy" is nearly a perfect episode, with Rob's escalating paranoia in counterpoint to Laura's gentle insistence that she knows her own baby... also love "Coast to Coast Big Mouth". Both episodes build and build inexorably to their wonderful finishes.

Am I the only Twilight Zone fan here? Surely a Best Half-Hour Ever thread doesn't have to be the exclusive properly of sitcoms...

Here are some TZ episodes that would qualify for a spot in the Best Half-Hour Ever pantheon:

"Walking Distance" -- a lonely man (Gig Young) tries to return to his childhood and his father (Frank Overton) persuades him that there's "no room for him" in his past. Sure, it sounds corny on paper, but Young and Overton give magnificent performances that sell this strange "man-to-man talk." Bernard Herrmann's score also helps out. (It's a shame the show could no longer afford Herrmann after Season 1.)

"The Changing of the Guard" -- Donald Pleasance stars as a professor being forced into retirement, who attempts suicide because he feels his life has been a failure, but is persuaded otherwise by the spirits of his former students. Again, sounds corny on paper, but Pleasance makes it work, in spades.

"Kick the Can" -- ignore Spielberg's ill-advised remake; the original, with residents of senior citizen's home rediscovering their youth, is pure gold, thanks to Ernest Treux's spot-on performance.

"Mr. Denton on Doomsday" -- Dan Duryea, whom the movies usually cast as a worthless little weasel, got to play the good guy for once, a tragic hero who overcomes his drinking problem when a magic potion gives him the power to out-shoot the town bully (it's a Western). Duryea makes the most of his opportunity to play a character the audience can care about.


Now for some sitcom episodes:
"The Muppet Show" -- Vincent Price guest-stars, doing the ultimate cover of "You've Got a Friend"; furniture turns into monsters; Gonzo and Fozzie rent a haunted house; Kermit turns into a vampire.

"The Muppet Show" -- Alice Cooper guest-stars, leading the Muppet monsters in a rousing rendition of "School's Out"; Gonzo seizes the opportunity to sell his soul to the Devil, thanks to Alice's contract; Piggy transforms (briefly) into a monster but becomes herself again when she tells Alice, "Tell your boss I wouldn't sell him my soul if he paid me!"

(More Muppet episodes in future posts)

M*A*S*H* -- "Old Soldiers," a wonderful showcase for Harry Morgan as Col Potter mourns the loss of the last of his close friends from his World War I days.

Oh, I love this episode. "Abyssinia (sp?), Henry" is also great (and so sad), and the dream episode, the episode in which they try to prolong a wounded soldier's life so that he doesn't die on Christmas, and so many other dramatic ones. My favorite non-dramatic episode, and one that I think it just a perfect 1/2 hour of comedy, would be "For Want of a Boot"- it's just hilarious.

Arrested Development's finale, "Development, Arrested" was perfect, IMHO- the perfect mix of sweet family dynamics, messed-up family dynamics, and humor.

The Office's "Casino Night" was just beyond perfect- the whole Afghani joke, "I hate so much about the things you choose to be," the casino scenes, Scrantonicity!, the confession and The Kiss (it has to be capitalized); all awesome.

Family Guy's "PTV" was also excellent- I don't like many of the later seasons' episodes, but between the FCC song and Peter's "side boob" show, it was perfect.

Oh, I loved this episode as a kid! And to think that today all the pearl-clutchers would try to shut it down, claiming the Muppets were promoting devil worship.

I'll echo all the Arrested Development mentions, and if 30 Rock continues to be so brilliant, I'll have to add several of those episode to the list.

The Office - Casino Night is without a doubt one of the greatest half hours in television history. I never ceased to be amazed by how touching, sweet, exciting, sexy and flat-out hilarious it is. I would also nominate The Dundies, The Injury, and Traveling Salesmen, just to name a few.

Hey wait, that was a super-sized episode! That was 40 minutes (including commercials).

Seriously, nice thread. My nominations:

My Name is Earl: "Our Cops is On", second season. (Followed the next week by "Buried Treasure", which was just a hair less good, but still mindblowingly excellent.)

Futurama: "Roswell that Ends Well", third season. There was a lot of great writing, acting, and animation in this show's run, but this ep is at or near the top at bringing all three at the very top of their game. Second choice: "The Farnsworth Parabox".

Scrubs: "My Musical", sixth season. A subpar season (so far) following the subpar fifth season... but that said, "My Musical" is the top musical episode I've ever seen, easily beating out the oft-overrated BTVS musical ep. Other than that, sure, the super-sized "My Bed Banter & Beyond", or "My Screw Up".

30 Rock: either "Blind Date", "The Head and the Hair", or "Black Tie".

I'm away from my DVDs so can't pick my AD, Simpsons, or Newsradio favorite at the moment.

The Golden Girls: "Journey to the Center of Attention." Dorothy usurps Blanche's favorite tavern, "The Rusty Anchor."

Family Ties: I don't know the episode, but Mallory brings home Nick for the first time.

I Love Lucy: Again, I don't know the episode, but the one where Ethel and Lucy work in the chocolate factory and the belt keeps going faster and faster.

This thread isn't very applicable to game shows, but I have to add just about any episode of What's My Line (the 1950-1967 black and white version, with John Charles Daly).