So I caught an ad for a new Superman action figure inspired by the movie that has 3 (count 'em!) modes. One is flying mode where Mr. S kinda sideseat drives as he tells you which way to go, one where his eyes light up, and one where he raises and lowers his arms to bonk baddies on the head.

However, at least according to the ad, the triggering mechanism is appears to be on his belt, or perhaps a little bit closer to his crotch. The ad shows the kid moving his finger to trigger the mechanism, but you never actually see the finger and the toy make contact.

The figure appears to be larger than your typical G.I. Joe, so I'm wondering why the trigger wasn't placed in a less conspicuous area. Anyway, hee.

There is also an ad running now for a bizarre Superman suit that inflates to give your kid plastic muscles. It's kind of a beefed up version of water wings.

My five-year-old neighbor got that for his birthday, Steph. It looks completely absurd but he thinks he's king shit running around the cul de sac in it.

I bet I would have loved that thing when I was five. That, or maybe the flying cape thingy.

They don't call them "action figures" for nothing.

I think it would be hilarious if the toy commercials started having warnings like "may contain lead".

This was the biggest scam of a toy: Trik Trak I think older ads really used to pull the wool over kids' eyes. Kids are more savvy these days.

Dear makers of the Tickle Me Elmo TMX eXtra Special Super Awesome Edition #47,538: Unless you WANT people to believe Elmo's new "secret actions" are dirty, pixilation and black bars probably aren't the way to go.

I thought Elmo's movements were kind of dirty before the black bars showed up.

I couldn't wait for the 'clues' to load up. What does TMX (or should that be TMI?) Elmo do? Feel free to spoiler it, for those who wish to retain the mystery.

I thought this was a MadTv spoof when I happened to catch it while channel surfing. My first thought was "My god, what IS he doing under the pixelation?"

edited to add: I actually went to the little "clues" page, and by jove, it's Drunken Pervert Elmo!

Oh, come on, there's nothing pervy about Elmo's "secret tickle place."

They showed a couple of videos of Elmo's new actions. They weren't that special. The first "secret" action actually looked a lot like what the other Elmo toy does. The second one was that Elmo hiccuping. And the third one was like the first one, except they added sound effects to when he's rolling around laughing. For instance when he smacks the ground while he's laughing it goes "boink boink."

I wouldn't get it honestly. It's almost exactly the same, but I guess it's good if you haven't gotten the older one for your kid yet. I actually think Tickle Me Cookie Monster is a LOT cuter, they have them at the store I work at. Why does Tickle Me Elmo get all the publicity? I mean he's cute I guess, I have an original Tickle Me Elmo. But why is he the most popular one? (They have a Tickle Me Ernie too, but I've never seen it in person.)

A Tickle Me Ernie! That sounds awesome! Although I wonder if those parents who thought Bert and Ernie were gay will be happy about it.

Yeah that's true. Maybe that's why they didn't make a TMX Bert!

Here's the TMX Ernie in action. It's too bad they never have commercials for the rest of their TMX toys. I bet most people don't even know they make characters besides Elmo.

"Hey Bert!"
"What, Ernie?"
"Wanna play 'Find My Special Tickle Spot'?"
"Well....all right."

Yes, my mind is officially in the gutter.

I thought at one point Elmo did a Nazi salute.

From the 1960's, here's PIE FACE. I saw this game advertised when I was really young and still think it's one of the oddest ideas for a game I've ever seen. (Note: the sound on this link is pretty weak so you'll have to turn your volume up.)

I wonder if this game from the 70's would have to have its name changed to sell today?

I'll see your "Ball Buster" and raise you an Oozinator. I'm not sure I even want to think about what went through the ad execs' minds when they came up with their ad.

Out of morbid curiosity, I did buy one after they came out about a year ago, and yes, it really is as bad as it looks.

What the hell is that coming out of the Oozinator?

The thing I don't get about the Ball Buster is, was that not an expression in the Seventies? I think it was, and those people named it that on purpose.

The product description is "Bio-Ooze." I'll leave it at that.

Wait, wait--Mattel is now using the "Barbie Girl" song to promote Barbie? Oh, that's hilarious. (Especially after their 2 failed lawsuits!)