We've all seen them. They're the commercials that may or may not imply sexual conduct.

Remember the blue pill? The man trying to score a football into a tire hoop? Rogaine hair products? Herbal Essence? The "O" Ads.

And then there are those innocent products that get their own risque commercials. My favorite is the M&M one with steamed up windows in a log cabin, with a fireplace and sex music in the background. My childhood candys have been porno-ized.

List your favorite tongue in cheek commercials here.

There was one with a couple on a cruise ship, if I recall. Damned if I remember what they were schilling, but the middle of the commercial was a bunch of quick-cut shots of a flower opening, little fish swimming in a frantic, spermlike fashion, things like that. I only saw it once, but it always stuck with me for being so damn weird.

Axe or Tag body sprays. A.) they reek, and 2) they aren't the sex-guarantee they'd like adolescent boys to believe they are. (Are they? I think the stuff smells bad and wouldn't be prone {pun intended} to think kindly of someone who made me smell it.)

One particular spot that sticks out in my mind is the one where the guy who stinks of this stuff is imbued with magical power over women's clothes, and by opening a magazine he makes a woman's shirt unbutton. In a racier version I saw only once on some show on Spike, he adjusts a couple of radio dials and makes a woman's nipples pop up. I still can't believe I saw that.

Applebees has some commerical airing right now about their shrimp dishes. If features 2 guys singing a reworked Gilligans Island theme (oh so original) while standing in the tide. Next they are standing in the restaurant next to a woman flinging water around from their wet instruments.

The parting shot is the woman being hit in the face/eye with wetness and her wiping it away. It is totally wrong and looks like a money shot.

For Beyond tampons, it showed a woman doing a leap-frog over a pink fire hydrant.

Well, uh, everytime those Victoria's Secret commercials come on the screen, any conversation I am having ceases. They are simply mesmerizing.

But usually, sex in commercials doesn't work that well -- not when it's blantant and/or unrelated anyway. I think people forget the product when it just "sex! sex! sex!" and doesn't have a direct relationship. Though, I think the bigger challenge would be finding ads without at least some degree of sexuality in them.

To quote Jerry Seinfeld, "I just don't know what that means."

And is this in the States? If so, where? I've never even heard of the brand.

That is the exact same response my 12 year old son has. As his mother, I am embarassed and disgusted at the same time. If he's watching tv with me and one of those commercials come on, I try to turn the channel really quickly because I do not need to see my son thinking what I'm pretty sure he's thinking.

There's the cell phone commercial with the angry dad going out to a steamy parked car saying "You'd better not be doing what I think you're doing!" They are; they're text messaging.

And the Hootie Burger King ad with the big sloshing buckets of ranch dressing (held by young women). Yuck.

It's a brand of Playtex tampons. I only saw it once.

Oh, those made me ill. I don't need to associate ranch dressing with semen, Burger King.

There is a chain of mattress stores here in New England (and other places around the country I guess) called Mattress Giant. Their jingle at the end of the commercial goes (sung by a woman) "Only at Mattress Giant. Ooo! Aah!" The "Ooo! Aah!" is supposed to be someone going to sleep on one of their mattresses. When they first added it to the end of the commercial, the vocals were very drawn out and sounded much more like the woman was engaging in other bedroom activities that are quite the opposite of sleeping. I think they got complaints so they changed it.

Heh. I didn't even realize how inappropriate the ad was until my cousin's pre-schooler starting copying the woman's "oooh aaahhhs."

Another foodstuff internet forums have ruined for me. I can't begin to count how many there have been.

You and me both McKay.

Would one of those be orange-related? Not that I ever drank the stuff, but that was gross. Don't click if you might not want to know something gross about a beverage.

Ew. That's foul. No, but I'll never buy Sunny Delight again. Not that I ever bought it in the first place; that stuff tastes like ass.

A sexy pair of commercials that I loved were the ones for Le Creme yogurt. You see a hot forty-ish woman in a French maid's outfit feeding a schlubby guy the yogurt while sexily whispering Frenchy descriptions of the creaminess of the yogurt. The door opens, and the maid switches to annoyed momspeak: "You're home early!" It's their teenager, and he's mortified at mom and dad's sexplay. The other one has the dad playing the part of the "pool boy" while mom lounges around the pool.

I thought these commercials were funny, AND I actually started buying Le Creme because of them.

Oh man, I never saw the pool boy one! The French maid one always had me cracking up, though. And cringing a bit, imaginine myself in that kid's place.

What's funny is you don't see the dad at first, so you think she's talkin' sexy to a real pool boy. And if I remember correctly, when the real pool boy shows up he's a hottie, but she's all annoyed at him for interrupting them.

The Snickers ad with the guy whose date cuts him off at the door. He goes back out to the car and opens a Snickers. This "girl" comes out of the wrapper and starts cooing at him, calling him snuggly bear and crap like that. He comes back with "whatev". Not "whatever", whatev". First off, the girl sticking out of the wrapper looks like a dildo(!) and if that guy had that attitude for the whole date, no wonder she let him go. Jerk.

I don't even want to know what's Beyond Tampons, the name itself is awesomely gross.

American ads can't even compare to the sex in ads overseas. A few years ago when I was living in New Zealand there were the most incredible ice cream bar ads.
In one, a man and a woman were playing chess. The woman bites into the ice cream bar and a piece of chocolate falls into her cleavage. The man comes around the table, straddles her lap, takes the chocolate with his teeth and says "Checkmate" I didn't remember the brand, but I wanted to buy my girlfriend one.
In another, I don't remember the build up, but it ends with a woman joining her shirtless plumber in the shower with the ice cream bar.

I don't understand the appeal of it either. I got some (because it was on sale and I wanted to try a body spray) and it's so strong and horrible. I can't understand anybody being able to do normal day things with that strong smell on them. I had like three bottles but I gave it all away.

And, beyond that, the first line of the reworked Gilligan's theme is "Just sit right back and grab some tails, the tails of some tasty shrimp". "Grab some tails"?? You can't tell me that they're not aware of the innuendo there.

Interestingly, during the NCAA tournament, these ads have been paired with the Papa John's Pizza spots that redo The Go-Gos' "We Got The Beat" as "We Got The Meat". I wonder if the ads are being placed by the same smutty-subtext-minded agency?

Oh and the Overstock.com "It's all about the O" girl can shut up, too. If you had a guy or girl that was giving you the "O" regularly, you wouldn't be so interested in shopping, I'd bet.

ETA OT:

Word. I had "SunnyD" once and never again. Now I know why it tasted so bad. Ugh.

Just saw the DiSarrono "Girl with the ice cube" commercial after thinking the other day how it had disappeared. Never gets old or unsexy for me . . .

*small voice* I like Sunny D.

The M&M chocolate bar ads disturb me. I don't want to think about my M&Ms going "deep into the creamy chocolate"....

Word. I can't stand that chick. And I actually like Overstock.com, and use them now once in a while, but for a long time I avoided it just because of those damn ads. It was such blatant sexual innuendo, and badly done, to boot.

I don't mind being manipulated, but good god, do it well! :)

I hate to be the one who brings the party down, but Girls Gone Wild, eeks me the fuck out. I'm as hetero as any woman will ever get, but I am mesmerized, eyes glued to their faces, praying that I never recognize one!

And what about their poor parents? What in the name of all that has half a brain cell left would seduce a girl to shake her naked ass, bare her breasts or simulate hot! girl! on! girl! sex! knowing that Mommy or Daddy may someday see that commercial? It can't be money, because they're selling those videos for chump change. What possesses these girls???

Alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol. You'd be amazed at what I've seen happen at college parties I attend.

But I hate Girls Gone Wild, if only for the reason that I feel like I'm being pandered to as a guy and being thought of as having a single-digit IQ. I much rather prefer Girls With Low Self-Esteem videos, if only because they feature Mr. Magic doing illusions in-between the bimbos.

What about Herbal Essence shampoo, when the women apparently orgasm when they wash their hair. "Oh yes! Yes! YES!"

That commercial alone makes people in my family not want to buy it.

PS: AXE deodorant...I was talking to my friend's 11-year old son. I saw the AXE deodorant in the family bathroom. Figuring it was his, I later asked him in front of mom (I'm cruel): "So does AXE help you snag the ladies?"

His face went beat red! But yep, the kids want to believe the ad's hype!

The appeal of VS commercials to men is obvious, but as a woman, I just find myself annoyed by them. They either make me feel like a Peeping Tom--like they've pushed my face up against the window of some woman's bedroom and are forcing me to watch her undress--or they're embarrassingly melodramatic--"New! Ipex!! The world's most technologically advanced bra!!! OMG really!!!!" (I mean, come on. If you tell me a bra is "technologically advanced," it had better allow me to indulge my inner Fembot and shoot bullets at my enemies two at a time.)

And if I didn't like the smell of Herbal Essence shampoos, I probably wouldn't buy them due to the sheer stupidity of the "orgasm" campaign. They've used it so much that it's overdone and it wasn't that funny to begin with.

One of my favorite "sex in commercials" example is the one for -- I guess it's something in the Viagra line. Where it's all discussed by innuendo, but when it's working, the husband and wife give each other significant looks across the living room on a firelit evening, smiling and eyebrow-raising to give each other the message, "Yeah, we could fuck right now if we wanted to, because erections are no longer a problem in THIS household thank goodness."

Is the Herbal Essence commercial the one where the SO hears all this orgasmic-like moaning, only to discover his SO is only in the shower shampooing? That commercial cracked me up the first few times. I remember thinking, "Any shampoo that could make a person feel that good, should require a prescription.".

Allgeetoo: yes, Yes, YES! That's one of the commercials, however, there are tons of other ones that are a variation on the same old theme.

Hahahahaha! That's awesome.

And FYI, I never got a straight answer to the question. So AXE just might work!

Regarding the Herbal Essence orgasmic commercials, the one that irritates me beyond reason is the one where the woman washes her hair in the bathroom of an airplane. WTF?! Yes, I realize I'm overthinking it but good luck rinsing that shampoo out of your long-ass hair--as if you'd even be able to get your ginormous melon under the tap anyway.

I'm a market research interviewer and one time I talked to this woman and asked if she used Herbal Essences shampoo. She says, "No, because I find those commercials absolutely disgusting." Herbel Essences is getting really boring with those orgasms moans, they need to think up a new campaign because they have been doing this campaign since 2000.

FallenAngel writes of VS commercials:

One of my favorite commercials ever, for its sheer stupidity, was one for Victoria's Secret introduction of cotton lingerie. It was done in typical VS ad style, so the introduction of cotton had to be staged as a ground-breaking moment in underwear history.

Melodramatic voice-over with bizarre accent: "Victoria's Secret presents....<dramatic music, women thrashing around in almost no clothing>...COTTON!"

--As if nobody knew a pair of Hanes before!

My sister and I still imitate the line to one another when we see ridiculously stupid and over-the-top commercials.

How beyond stupid is that? Have these people never travelled in a plane before, because I'm thinking that if they did, their bathrooms were suites, not those little convenience closets. Hard enough to wash your hands let alone your head.

And I'm sorry, who'd want to wash their hair in a plane? Those washrooms aren't exactly the most clean...or stable...places in the world.



You must have been talking to my sister, because she will leave the room when that's on! You're right, it's time for a new idea after, what...6 years.

Somebody needs to let the young men of America (and possibly other places) know that AXE is a female REPELLANT!

It even goes back further, to around 1989-1990. As I recall it, the commercials that presented the idea of this shampoo giving you an orgasm tied right into the scene from "When Harry Met Sally," in which Meg Ryan fakes it out during lunch. These early Herbal Essence commercials even had another woman say, "I'll have what she's having," or "I'll use what she's using."

Lame, lame, lame.

Correct on all counts - the longevity, the since-erased punchline, and most of all, that the ad series is lame, lame, lame!!!

But also, doesn't she sound incredibly fake? If I were a guy and a woman sounded like that, I'd probably wilt immediately thinking she's mocking my efforts.

[quote] doesn't she sound incredibly fake? If I were a guy and a woman sounded like that, I'd probably wilt immediately thinking she's mocking my efforts[quote]

Yep. I think even the Shampoo would be insulted!

AMEN! I think all AXE deoderants smell bad.

As to Axe...bad commercials. Did you see the Old Spice one..."Even if you're the last man on earth...you won't be attractive if you STINK." (Or something like that.)

At first, I thought the message was, the guy wearing the new Old Spice formulation stunk and all the women left in the world were repelled by him. Very confusing until I listened the second time. The song goes:

"I am a MAN
I do what I can
I am a MAN
I am..."

sung in a montone. It's very dumb.

If you were pushing Lynx, Unilever's other brand (besides Axe) for horrible cheap scents, why not go super over the top?

I love how this guy is clearly using way,way too much of it and spraying more, but he's a good enough actor (or they rigged up special bottles that just spray water) that he doesn't show it.

That ad is similar to an ad for some sauce, A-1 or something like that, when they show a travel trailer rocking and squeaking, and the camera follows up to the door, the door opens and a man and women are shaking some sort of sauce on their food.

Another ad is for Las Vegas, and there are a group of people having dinner together and someone asks a couple how their trip to Vegas was, and the couple look at each other as if 'What should we say?!', then they start talking about what they ate in Vegas, and I think she says something like, 'I got my fill of loin', or something.

Why is it that Viagra has some of the least sexy commercials? I know it's a prescribed drug so I could understand if they were trying to focus on the medical rather than the steamy, but I think they're actually trying to be sexy and just failing. A robotic arm in a car factory caressing a Lexus is sexier than the latest Viagra ad.

A man and woman (she looks quite a bit younger than him to my eyes) are sitting in front of a TV. Some sports program is on. She's bored out of her mind, so she gets up and makes a vaguely "come hither" look in the man's direction. In response, he makes a face that either says "ooh she's so bad!" or "ooh I shouldn't have had extra chili!" I honestly can't tell which. He doesn't want to miss his sports program, so he puts a tape in the VCR before following after the woman.

Neither of these people looks the slightest bit aroused or interested in each other. She'd just rather have sex than watch a TV program that bores her, and he figures he should use up that last tape before switching to TiVo.

There's some tire commercial that features two attractive couples, one all in white, the other in black, dancing in the rain so that their clothing gets plastered to their smooth, wonderfully toned bodies. Now, they're nice to look at, and I guess tires aren't inherently sexy, but this one makes no sense at all. If I buy that brand, will those attractive people come and dance in the rain for me?