Harken back to those thrilling commercials of yesteryear.

"I can't believe I ate the whole thing!"

"Where's the beef?"

"Bo knows..."

Well, it's not Christmas, but don't forget "PEE-tah" coming home to mom and her Folgers.

I don't think they showed the Norelco Santa-sleding-down-the-hill commercial. I liked that one.

"Let's get Mikey"

"He won't eat it, he hates everything."

"He likes it, hey Mikey!"

And lets not forget Madge the Palmolive lady & Josephine the plumber.

The odd thing is that commercials are so annoying, yet old ones are fun and nostalgic. And they were (I have to assume) annoying themselves back in the day. Maybe it's partly the repitition when they're current. Also, there's something about the black and white ones that makes them fun instead of grating.

I remember the Lipton Cup-A-Soup commercials from the mid '80s (slogan: "America's cup!") so fondly that when I finally came across a poor-quality RealMedia copy of it online several months ago, my eyes welled up with tears. Here. You enjoy!

Yup. I think the passage of time can take something stupid and make it quaint and charming. I remember this ad from a TV documentary about the company it advertised:

(Fade in on a woman and two men, all in white mechanics' uniforms, on a white soundstage.)
Woman: A. B. C. Always Buy Certified!
(There is a brief musical interlude, during which the three of them cavort Agnes DeMille-style to the accompaniment of tuneless beatnik jazz.)
Woman: ...at your Studebaker dealer!

If I had lived back then, that probably would have bugged the crap out of me. But when I saw it (during the 90's) I thought it was kinda cute.

I wouldn't mind seeing the "Ancient Chinese secret" Calgon ad one more time, now that it's been a while. And I used to hate that one!

Do you remember:

"My bologna has a first name"

"My dog's bigger than your dog"

"Even kids with chickenpox"

"You got chocolate in my peanut butter!"
"You got peanut butter in my chocolate!"

That one was a bit weird to me; chocolate, okay, but who walks around eating peanut butter by itself?

Let's not forget Nancy Walker as the Bounty paper-towel lady.
"Double your pleasure, double your fun...."
"Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't."
"Certs is a candy mint!" "Certs is a breath mint!" "Wait! You're BOTH right!"

(And I recall some comedian's take on it: a little girl exclaims horrified, "Mommy! They're clicking their Certs and they just met!!")

As to how the old commercials seemed at the time: Some, at least, were cherished as something special (I would love to see any of the classic James Garner / Mariette Hartley Polaroid spots again), and once in a while a talented performer could make a mark -- more than once I would notice Madge the Palmolive manicurist making a moment unexpectedly real, and think, "That's a really good actress." (Jan Miner was her name, by the way.)

"Wheeeeere's the beef?!"

That was funny for the first few times, then quickly grew old.

This, however, never grew old (no pun intended):

"I've fallen, and I can't get up!"

Until Steve Urkel said it, that is.

Ah, Mrs. Morgenstern.

But let's also not forget Rosemary Clooney in the paper towel ads for Coronet. She sang, "Extra value is what you get...when you buy Coronet!" I was in junior high and remember every Christmas Eve watching White Christmas with my mom. She was the one who told me that the lady in the commercial was the same as Betty in the movie. I simply could not wrap my mind around that since RC had (literally) become larger than life when she got older. But the beautiful, beautiful voice was one in the same.

How about the "Be Like Mike" Gatorade commericals? Or

The My Buddy/Kid Sister commercials? "My buddy, my buddy, my buddy, my buddy, where I go, he goes, my buddy, my buddy, my buddy, my buddy, my buddy and me...Kid sister, kid sister, kid sister...." Or

The Trix commercial with the rabbit: "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!"

"Rolaids spells relief!"

What about those Bufferine commercials where people asked Angela Landsbury which pain reliver is best for them?

Plop, Plop, Fizz, Fizz, oh what a relief it is... (come to think of it, that sounds really gross out of context...)

I remember a Marlboro commercial from long ago. Gorgeous cowboy type and a couple of cowboy buddies are trying to capture a wild stallion who is stealing away the ranch's mares. They chase and chase without success. Finally, gorgeous cowboy calls back his buddies. "Let him go." Wild must remain wild (or something similar). "Light em up, boys!" Beautiful scenery, powerful horses, stirring music. Whew! Who cares if it was a cigarette commercial?

One of the old commercials that used to really bug me were the "Riiing Around the Collar!" ads for Wisk. How bout "Waaash Yer Dirrrrrty Nehhhhh-eck"?

I did like some of em...

"They're magically delicious" - when there were only 4 marshmallow shapes

"Ancient Chinese Secret, huh?"

"I'd walk a mile for a camel" and they would show a rugged man putting hit feet up with a hole in the bottom of his boot/shoe.

"Open the doooooor... to your... mystery date"

Ahhh, the old cigarette ads. That's a whole trip down memory lane in itself.

"Winston tastes good, like a (boom boom) cigarette should."
"I'd walk a mile for a Camel."
"Be happy, go lucky, be happy, go Lucky Strike."
"Call for Philip Morrrriiiiiis!"
Benson & Hedges "music to watch girls by."
Marlboro's "Magnificent Seven" music.
Also, "You get... a lot to like with a Marboro: filter, flavor, flip-top box."
"You've come a long way, baby..."

One that my brother and I used to walk around singing:

"It's Velveeta versus cheddar
our Velveeta melts much better.
Cheddar's lumpy, cheddar's oily.
It dribbles off your plate onto your doily.
When the cookbook calls for cheddar,
make it with Velveeta, it tastes better!" (dun, dun, dun)

Pearl Drops! ::run tongue slowly and suggestively over front teeth:: "mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm."

And someone please help me out -- what was the name of the shampoo that came in a beer-shaped bottle and the girl on the commercial is telling us all about this sudsy wonder then says warningly with the no-no finger wave "but don't drink it!"

Remember: "What do you want, good grammar or good taste?" Once I figured that one out, I used it (still do) to help with like/as.


I LOVED these ads - where women would light up in victorian garb/situations, and they would be doused with water, carried away, etc. for thinking it was OK for a woman to smoke. So rebellious!

Also reaching back. . . "Rice-a-Roni, the flavor can't be beat... Rice-a-Roni, the San Francisco Treat!"

I loved Morty the Mission (pasta) meatball, and the "Good Stuff, Maynard" ads, I think they were for Malt-o-Meal.

This is fun - except it's a little scary knowing how OLD those commercials are, and how crisply they are recorded in this old brain of mine.

Oops, almost forgot, "I've just washed my hair and I can't do a thing with it" Iewwww... still kind of grosses me out. "Now you can do a thing with your hair." I can't remember the name of the shampoo, but it had an inch or so of an oil layer on top of the shampoo in the bottle ( or different colored something else?) that would make sure your hair wasn't too clean to actually go out on a date on the same day you washed your hair.

I do :) Great big spoonfuls!


Slinky commercials were always great....although I could never get my slinky to do the things those kids could :(

I always liked the Toys 'R' Us commercials in the early 80's... "I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys 'R' Us kid..."

I also remember the Burger King "aren't you hungry for Burger King now?" ads. A friend and I used to sing that to our moms and scream YES! at the end to try to get them to take us to get burgers (shameless).

How 'bout some David Naughton! "I'm a pepper, he's a pepper, she's a pepper, we're a pepper, wouldn't you like to be a pepper too?"

I don't even like Dr Pepper, but damn what a catchy commercial.

I don't know about the beer bottle/shampoo commercial, but the mention of it made me remember the commercial for Faberge Organics shampoo. You know the one... "I told a friend, and she told a friend, and so on, and so on, and so on!" as the women multiplied all over the screen.

Do they still show those Klondike bar commercials? I still sing "What would you do-oo-oo for a Klondike bar?" in my head everytime I pass them in the freezer aisle.

Us [sic] Tareyton smokers would rather fight than switch [show photo of person with fake black eye].
"Cigar? Cigarette? Tiparillo?"
Take a puff -- it's SPRINGTIME! [Salem]
Benson & Hedges 100s: Oh, the Disadvantages.

Body on Tap

There's a million toys at Toys 'R' Us that I can play with!
From cars to trains to video games
It's the biggest toystore there is!
I don't wanna grow up, but, baby, if I did,
I'd wanna be a Toys 'R' Us kid!

I was reminded of an old commercial today for York Peppermint Patties with someone standing on a coffee table, pretending to ski. I loved those!

"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!"

How 'bout I hate you because you're obnoxious? What were those ads for, anyway?

I think they were for Pantene Pro-V.

I thought they were for Loreal hair color, which also has the gem "Because I'm Worth It."

I can't seem to forget you, your Windsong stays on my mind!

This is from page one, but I really liked the Santa riding around on the snow in an electric shaver, too. And they ran it at least once this past season, because I saw it! It made me abnormally happy.

The ads I TRULY miss, though, were the great old Ronco ads, especially the ones that would run near Christmastime. You could always tell when it was October, because the Ronco ads would start featuring tiny little Christmas trees covered in a few lights and a lot of silver tinsel. "Makes a great gift!"

I've looked for those old ads online, but haven't found any.

Speaking of Christmas commercials, I really liked one from the a few years ago for Hershey's Kisses where they had the kisses lined up in rows playing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" like they were bells. Then at the end of the song one of them rang for a long time and when it was done they had it take a deep breath and its paper slip fell down like it was exhausted. Very cute.

For me, it isn't Christmastime until I see that ad, and "Peter's Homecoming," the classic Folgers Coffee commerical. *sniffle*

A few Christmases ago, it was closing in on Christmas day and I realized I hadn't seen "Peter's Homecoming" yet that year. I went on Procter and Gamble's Web site looking for answers, and they had this imperious FAQ item about how "we've retired 'PH'" and "we look forward to moving into an exciting new direction with our television advertising" and "enjoy our Rockapella ads!" Well, FUCK THAT. I wrote an letter to P&G saying bring back "PH," it's a classic, people look forward to that ad all year, I'll be switching to Maxwell House until you do. Sure enough, "PH" was back the next year, and I like to think I had a little bit to do with "Peter's Homecoming"'s homecoming.

You go, Miss Clare!!!

I remember that disappearing for a while, and being sort of sad about it, but not doing anything. And then I was happy to see it back on...so thanks!!! :)

I bet 90 percent of us can name all of the ingredients in a Big Mac, speaking of classic commercials...
"Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, (no cheese for me) pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun"

But wait - hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, special orders don't upset us, all we ask is that you let us brainwash you with this jingle.

And was anyone else completely grossed out by the Dawn dishwashing detergent ads? Where they proudly boast that Dawn's magical powers make all the grease float to the top of the sink?
Complete with a visual of the sink with about three inches of grease floating on top of the purportedly clean dish water - so you pull your clean dishes up through the layer of greasy filth before putting them in the rack for drying.

More cigarette commercials: Happiness is the taste of Kent; A silly millimeter longer, 101(but I don't remember the brand of cigarette).

And, I just remembered- the instant coffee commercials (Tasters Choice?) With the British man and older woman. There were about 4 or 5 of them, each commercial showing their relationship growing.

The chicken's got a cer-tain Wessonality!

Yes, that was indeed Taster's Choice, IIRC, and I also think that it featured Anthony Stewart Head (Giles from Buffy the Vampire Slayer). I remember them fondly as they started out with the couple meeting in the hallway of the apartment building which one of them has just moved into, then the romance between them growing and finally (or at least the last one I remember) being the one where he walks in on her with "another man" which turns out to be her son.

Speaking of Christmas ads, the only one I ever really liked was the "Behold the power of CHEESE!" ad where the little girl got tons of presents after leaving Santa some cheese rather than the traditional milk and cookies.

You can trust your car
to the man who wears the star
The big bright Texaco star!

Damn, I can't believe I'm old enough to remember that song. Or this one:

Mcdonalds is your kind of place
It's such a happy place

poster child, you took my two! "I'm a Pepper. He's a Pepper..." and "she'll tell two friends, and so on, and so on, and so on..."

But how about:

Shake 'N Bake "...and I hay-elped!"

There was another one for a slow R&B album that, for some reason, I'm convinced was called Hey Love.
"Hey, can I borrow that album for the weekend?"
"Nooooo my brother. You've got to get your own!"

If anyone knows where I can get a download of the Hey Love one (or whatever it's called), please let me know. My mother doesn't remember this one and I would really like to show her, as it gets parodied quite a bit, even today.

"How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?"

"Ah-one! Two-hoo! Three!" *crunch* "Three!"

I love that ad. And I love Dylan's Candy Bar because they have fabulous candy and because I almost always see that ad when I'm in there.

I routinely use "You got your chocolate in my peanut butter".

Also? "Butter." "Parkaaaaaay." And, "It's not nice to fool Mother Nature!"

Ai-yi-yi-yi
I am the Frito bandito
I love Frito's corn chips
I love them, I do
If you don't be careful
I'll steal them from you . . .

I've been doing some research on Kurt Weill, and as I was falling asleep the other night, Mac Tonight popped into my head!

Aaaah, but do you remember who the girl was? It was an early gig for Kim Basinger!

I used Body on Tap, but switched to Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific! when I was 14. I got suckered in by all those girly-stuff commercials when I was that age, making that transition to grown-up things. Remember the ads for Tickle Deodorant, with the women in various scenarios just giggling like idiots?

And as far as I'm concerned, it's not Christmas till I see Santa zooming down that hill on a Norelco electric shaver!

I just had a little vision of that chuck wagon driving into the kitchen cabinets in the dog food commercials. I liked those commercials as a kid.

Oh yeah....and this:

"Sam here is 11 years old. That's 77 years to you and me."

Aw, Sam!! I loved that pup.

And what were they thinking with Tickle? My Dad used to hate those commercials!

How about:
I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony
I'd like to buy the world a Coke...
(with everyone holding a light and forming a tree)

OR
I dare you to knock it off my shoulder.
I dare you.

Oh, yeah! Chuck Norris, right?

Points below:
::head smack:: I knew it was one of those "tough-as-nails" guys. Thanks for the clarification.

Robert Conrad