"I'm happy and angry!"

Tastes like burning.

"My cat's breath smells like cat food."

Ralphie and Snake are probably my favorite tertiary characters on The Simpsons. Hee.

Why don't you just surrender?

"NEVER!!!!"

That's become one of my guerilla quotes-- even when devilscabanagirl is fed up to here with my Simpsons quoting, I can usually still slip that one in because it is so melodramatically funny (and somewhat obscure).

'That's where I saw the leprechaun. He told me to burn things.'

Heh. Poor little balding Ralphie.

Ya did a good job, Ralphie. Now ya know what ya have to do. Burn the house down. Burn them all!

Or how about the precise moment we can see his heartbreak. And you gotta love anyone who can win a diorama competition because its made up of Star Wars figurines. In their original packaging.

What is the quote that best sums up Ralph Wiggum to you?

"My cat's breath smells like cat food"

"Oh Boy sleep that's where I'm a viking!"

or c) other

"I'm going to Bovine University!"

"Oh, CAAAAAAAAANADA..."

"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

(Nerdy nitpick: the topic title should be "He Bent His Wookiee.")

Ralph: "I ated the purple berries"
Bart: "How are they Ralph? Good?"
Ralph: "They taste like...BURNING"

Love that sequence! :)

'Hello Supernintendo Chalmers'

Man, Ralph is a proper awesome character

"Hi Lisa! We're going to be in a pie!"

I use that when I somehow lose my ability to put a sentence together.

And I know some hate the N Sync episode but I loved "I'm a pop sensation!"

"When I grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar!"

"Daddy says I'm 'this close' to sleeping in the yard."

"Why do people run away from me?" [pees his pants]

I also love Wiggle Puppy. That's actually a really creative game, and I love how proud Wiggum is of his son, despite his being kind of dim.
And I admit, I love Marge's reaction. "Is that...normal?"

That dog has been on some amazing adventures.

Are any of you aware of the Bloodhound Gang song "Ralph Wiggum"?

It's made up entirely (except for the chorus, which is a Clancy quote) of Ralphie quotes. Google it.

YES! ha ha ha ha...and love the look Chalmers gives him. This is perfect Ralph!

"Mrs. Krabapple and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me."

"Duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck..."

"I don't like you, Boy Mommy."

Ralph: Miss Hoover? There's a dog in the vent.
Miss Hoover: Ralph, remember the time you said Snagglepuss was outside?
Ralph: He was going to the bathroom.

My sister is an elementary teacher and she loves Ralph. Says she has to deal with kids like him, which gives me ample fodder for Mrs. hoover jokes.

Wasn't there an ep where we see Ralph has an imp or something telling him to set fires? I remember thinking it was a pretty creppy end to a funny ep.

I don't know the title, but it was the ep where Marge makes Bart spend time with Ralph, and they use the police master key to turn on the electric chair in the prison. After Burns gets the rocket and turns off the electricity, everyone celebrates, then Ralph's imp tells him to "burn them all!"

It was a leprachaun. They come over in the wheel wells of Air Lingus jets.

And the one where Ralph complains that his rubber sheets are making him hot.

Clancy: "Wear 'em til you learn, son. Wear 'em til you learn."

"Go banana!"

I was just watching 'Lisa's Wedding', and learned of Ralph's fate. If you slow down the list of celebrities that were arrested, one of them was Sideshow Ralph Wiggum.

One of my favorites: after being stranded on an island, most of the kids go totally Lord of the Flies with face painting and such. There's a big pan of all of them, ending with Ralph's "Meow!" in Peter Criss makeup.

Ralph as Laertes in the version of Hamlet, with his hilarious "mad face" and killing himself as a "practice stab"; comedy gold.

There's also the visual gag (I can't remember which episode) where Ralph is seen on a conveyor belt heading into a slaughterhouse.

He always did want to go to Bovine University.

He got in another good one in that episode too: "Bart's my bestest boyfriend!"

Question. Trying to be respectful. (and others might never understand). But....

VERY Ralph, but Wisconsin vs. Minnesota, do children play duck, duck, goose, OR duck, duck, grey duck?

Ralph should be the one to decide.

Speaking for Minnesota, it was duck, duck, grey duck for me.
One of the better gags lately:
"Why can't you be friends like me and Mr. Hand?" (Pokes self in eye)
"You've betrayed me for the last time." (Pulls out scissors as if to cut off finger)

After being maced by Marge:

"Even my boogers are spicy!"

My favorite:

"I'm not allowed to use scissors."
(class laughs)
"The children are right to laugh at you, Ralph. These things couldn't cut butter."

"What's a battle?"

Leave me alone. I'm here to play George Washington!

Away with you, lest my cane find your backside!

Then the doctor told me that both my eyes were lazy! And that's why it was the best summer ever!

My husband says this frequently, sometimes, but not always, when I've said something kind of Wiggum-y. We love Ralph.

During Bart's vision of the future (the one where Lisa becomes President), Ralph ends up as Bart's roommate and fellow member of Bart's Jimmy Buffett style band, at least until they have a falling out where Ralph tells Bart "Smell ya later, Bart, smell ya later forever!"

I personally like this version of Ralph's future better.

Another good scene was when Lisa was watching Ralph move a mailbox flag up and down:

"Ha ha ha ha ha! Oh..."

"Ha ha ha ha ha! Oh..."

"Well, Ralph seems happy enough..."

I adore Ralph Wiggum.

====

"Mrs. Hoover?"

"Yes, Ralph."

"I don't have a red crayon."

"Why not, Ralph?"

"I ate it!" <opens mouth wide, revealing a messy red mouth>

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"So, do you like...stuff?"

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I am reduced to a giggling mess when this is said in just the right tone of voice.

"Your eyes need diapers!"
"That's a good one, Ralphie..."