The most sinister of all villains.

I've been watching seasons 5 and 6 lately, and it's remarkable just how many Burns episodes there were. Brilliant episodes like Rosebud or even generally outstanding ones like $pringfield or A Star is Burns.

At this point in season 17, he just makes an occasional appearance, but during the high point of the series, he was a central character.

I don't know if this means anything, but since I was thinking about it the other day, I thought I'd share.

I love that song he sang about all the animal clothing he had. It was so damn catching. It's the kinda of thing someone might send to PETA as a joke. I've always liked Burns because he doesn't hide who he is from others or himself. The election episode is the only I can think of but he was running for office and hell you have to lie to do that. I loved the ep where he and Homer get stuck in a cabin. It had my fav Burns quote of all:

I hust have this to say:

Dream on bitch.

I adore Mr. Burns, especially when his dialogue gives away his age:

- I've decided to bring in a few ringers, professional baseballers. We'll give them token jobs at the plant and have them play on our softball team. Honus Wagner, Cap Anson, Mordecai "Three-Finger" Brown.

- If you stay, you can have anything you want, even some sort of gelatin dish. It's made from hooves you know.

- You there, fill it with petroleum distillate and revulcanize my tires, post haste!

- Yes, I'd like to send this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro?

He gets some of my favorite lines of the entire series.

That's probably my favoritest Burns-centric episode of all time. The cameraderie he and Homer have is hilarious, and then the way it all goes to hell once they get trapped in the rocket house is even funnier.

I also like how Burns has become less evil of the years - he's not so much diabolical anymore as he is gleefully evil.

"Smithers! Make me slap him!"
*SLAP*
"You call that a slap? Make me slap you!"
*SLAP*
"Now both! Now just you... Now give me a taste! Now both again! Now all three!"
*SLAPSLAPSLAP*
"Excellent..."

I love when Lisa says recycle to him... and we see his dictionary where the word doesn't exist... and he calls her an

'Adorable little ragamuffin.'

Its just such a great word. Ragamuffin... and its such a great word for him -- and who can forgot Bobo.

Man... what an awesome character.

Hell - I forgot the Emperor music... the Sproose Moose... Burns as Kane analogies... damn, he's just so well-written and voiced.

One of the better Burns rants came from that ep:
"Oh, so Mother Nature needs a favor? Well, maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys. Nature started the fight for survival and now wants to quit because she's losing? Well, I say 'Hard Cheese!'"

Another good one:

Burns: "Ooh, don't poo-poo a nickel, Lisa. A nickel will buy you a steak and kidney pie, a cup of coffee, a slice of cheesecake and a newsreel. With enough change left over to ride the trolley from Battery Park to the polo grounds."
Lisa (bored): "There's a can."

Let's not forget the perfect answer to a wrong number:

"Oh no. This 5246. I suggest you need more practice working your telephone machine."

Oh yeah and the episode with him and Grandpa in WWII. That has one of my favourite Burns lines ever. They're carrying him on a strecher then:

Burns: *Wakes up*: Haven't you won the war yet?

And after he talks with Grandpa about how it's going to be a fair race for the Hellfish bonanza, he gets in the car:

"Smithers, I want that man killed."

Priceless.

My favourite Burns episode was the one where he wanted to win the film festival and hires the non-union Mexican equivalent of Steven Spielberg, Senior Spielbergo to do a biopic about him: Then the casting of the leading role where Anthony Hopkins (wheeled in restrained Hannibal Lecter style), William Shatner (in Starfleet uniform) and Homer all fail to deliever the word "Excellent" in the right way, so Burns himself takes on the part.

The finished product itself is also most excellent: A Burns for All Seasons. An awesome crossover between Ben Hur and E.T. The audience just wasn't ready for his genius:
I still can't believe that Barney's movie stole the prize away from him.

A Star Is Burns is my favorite episode ever. With the casting call including Bumblebee Man (whom Spielbergo liked), and the fact that his movie lost twice even from bribing: to Barney in the film festival, and to George C Scott with the oscar for his version of Man Getting Hit By Football.

And I was saying "Boo-urns."

The history geek inside me can't get enough of Monty being such a victorian anochronism.

"Confederated Slaveholdings, how's that doing?"
"Steady"

"sir phronology was dismissed as quackery 100 years ago"
"Smithers you have the brainpan of a stagecoach tilter."

I guess in making Burns after the Robber Baron archetype the writters eventualy just turned him into a robber baron.

I know most people hate Homer vs. Dignity, but it's probably my favorite Burns-centric episode.

How, afterall, can you hate an episode with such gems as:

Smithers: Sir, I have a small personal request.
Burns:Oh, of course, Smithers. Anything. [repeatedly pushes a button marked, "Trap Door"]
Smithers: I disabled the button, sir. [Burns keeps pushing it] Anyway, I need some time off. As you know, I've been writing a musical about the Malibu Stacy doll--
Burns:[gives up on the button] A show about a doll? [laughs] Why not write a musical about the common cat? Or the King of Siam? Give it up, Smithers.
Smithers: Actually, sir, we're booked into a small theater in New Mexico.
Burns:Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There's a *New* Mexico?

Yeah, that episode doesn't bug me like it seems to everyone else because of some awesome Burnsisms. "What are you doing, man?! That's Carl!"

(Although my favorite line is "My eye! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it!")

Heh. We throw around "What are you doing, man?! That's Carl!" in our house frequently, because Carl is our favored cat. He's a far more friendly than his brother Lenny, who is kind of a freak.

I love the line Burns uses in referring to the lawyers (I think it's when he asks Smithers whether there's poison in the donuts) and use it all the time for every occasion:

"Damn their oily hides!"

Great line. And, getting back to Lenny's pudding problem:

LENNY: Ow, my eye! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it.
BURNS: That was capital! My lung is aching!

Mr. Burns singing "Let's all go to the lobby" in Burn's Heir is way too adorable. I love the gentle way he sings it.

How old is Mr. Burns meant to be?

From "Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part 1":