Here's the other thing that gets me about her: she thought it was a gimmick (apparently, it ain't), yet she still signed up for it. I get that sometimes people get suckered into spending money on scams, but if she already thought it was a gimmick (but it ain't), why in heaven's name did she enter the damn contest in the first place?
The other person she reminds me of? Putter, the preteen girl in that 80's movie The Legend of Billie Jean, the one played by a young Yeardley Smith.

I hate that, too. She really draws it out. Vahhhlasssic! Maybe she ate so many pickles that her tongue is numb.

Ha!! Now I'm going to pray someone asks me, too. I always assume it's the older option. One of the women also has the misfortune of reminding me of Lake Bell, so that added to her vanity and horse smile? Isn't winning me over.

The mom from the cereal/jeans ad needs to go away. The daughter finds mom's old jeans and is surprised mom used to fit into them. So the daughter borrows the jeans and the mom, in a Mommy Dearest fit of jealousy over her daughter's youth, goes on one of those "eat only cereal" diets. She watches day after day after her young daughter parades around in her jeans. Finally, after living on flakes for who knows how long, she bitchily informs her daughter she wants the jeans back. She and the Crest Whitestrips women can just all go back to the 70s right now.

I saw that Vlasic commercial today and what bothered me was that she says it with her mouth full of pickle. Ew. I don't want to see anyone talking with their mouth full. Gross.

This commercial doesn't irritate me as much as others, but why is the woman wearing jeans from the 1970s???
I don't care if she's in shape enough to fit into them (in fact, I would admire an older woman taking care of herself than an older woman who has let herself go)!
Buy some new stylish jeans, lady!

SUNSILK MUST DIE!!! I HATE HATE HATE this freakin' commercial with the super stereotypical hairdresser type guy who lisps what color shampoo bottle everyone needs.

I'm not sure why it provokes such a savage response in me, but just the nerve of some dude standing there judging women's hair (and all of their hair looks great, btw) and making smart ass comments about how flat or full it is just sends me over the edge. I know it's just a commercial, and I know there are more important things in life to be upset over, but between this stupid idiotic "Gethairapy" %&$ and the DiGiornio dude ordering his slavewife around (I know what I'd do with the pizza-cutter), I have had about all I can take with commercials. Is there no marketing firm left in the world that has an original, yet not completely retarded idea? GAH!

WORD! Just....WORD to everyone's complaints. About all of the commercials from Vlasic (shut your mouth when you chew, brat)

And what the HELL is going on with these commercials where they have to completely butcher awesome rock songs with their own dumb lyrics? Kraft Cheese: They're Crumbelievable!
Applebees Nastyass Restaurant: Mack the Knife! They fucked with Mack the Knife, ya'll!

I need to go lie down.

Well, pengbear, I'm coming with you. I need to get over my irrational hatred for Fanta.

No, I don't WANT A FANTA so stop SCREAMING at me about it.

I need Head-on.

Speaking of which, those two Applebee's guys just need to go away. You butchering decent songs makes me want to go there even less.

That's funny, the Sunsilk commercials I have seen have a woman speaking in a bitchy tone, not a man. But everything else is the same; completely shitting all over a woman because her hair doesn't look perfect. And then she screams "SUNSILK!" at the end. I just hate her tone and the message it sends to women. Fuck you and your hair, lady.

ETA: Whoa, it's a guy??

The unfunny Mario Cantone

Mario Cantone is doing the Sunsilk crap? Never heard of him. According to his IMDB, he's some 3rd rate quasi-comedian.

I will boycott him from now on, that's how much I hate this commercial.
And I will boycott Sunsilk. I'm a step away from boycotting shampoo, period.

AHHH!!! I thought it was a woman too!

I was just coming here to post about that.

What an irritating, irritating commercial. Never mind the fact that the womens' hair that he/she is ragging on does not look THAT bad.

ARRRRGHHHHHHHHHH! SUNSILK CAN KISS MY ASS!!!

Add that to the fact that I'd never heard of SUNSILK before. I'm on board the hate almost all pizza and shampoo commercials train. Except for the Pizza Hut commercial with Miss Piggy. The Muppets can calm me down off af a rant faster than a tranq dart. Ahhh, muppets.
I have to vent about my newest target of irrational hatred. The new Perdue ad. It's the Perdue guy reading Goldilocks with a more chicken-centric plot. Ok so far. We see Goldilocks herelf mouthing the words in his voice as she trots around the Three Bears house carrying half thawed chicken. Things are getting worse. At the end you see Perdue guy is reading this story to a room full of kids. And here's where i lose my shit. Because Chicken guy being Chicken Crazy by himself is bad, but tolerably funny sometimes (when he's not abusing chickens...like having some chicken lifting weights so that they'll be so much meatier when their heads are chopped off and they're deep fried) but being all Chicken Crazy in a room full of children just completely weirds me out and pushes all my "Wron WRONG, Stranger Danger" buttons.
I feel a little crazy myself feeling this way about the Perdue guy, but this is the only place I can share.

I'm sure it's already been said but the "Heart Start" healthy heart lady who talks with food in her mouth!!! She wouldn't be around 'forever' in my house. I'd have knocked her out of her chair. What in the world makes these ad people think we want to see that?

Oh, and Ovaltine! We'd better make more. Yeah, chocolate milk is the first thing I reach for to quench my thirst after exercising. *baffoons*

It can't be said too many times. I can't stand it when people talk with food in their mouths.

I've found that a saving grace to the Fantanas commercials is that, if you realize someone is about to play "It's a Small World after All" and run the Fanta jingle through your mind quickly enough, it prevents the more traumatic music from earworming you.

Anstar:


I want to slap both the mother and the daughter in that commercial. And the way the mother says 'forever', plus with food in her mouth...FER-EVERRR...gahhgh, I hate that! And the daughter is a brat the way she talks to her mother.

I was just going to post about this. The mother doesn't really bother me (except when talking with her mouth full), but I'd send that little snot into the middle of next week if she talked to me like that! The way she says "Great!" in that disgusted tone sounds like she's disappointed her mother isn't going to drop on the spot.

I thought the Sunsilk guy sounded a little like Richard Simmons. What an annoying commercial.

Yeah, I referenced this a few pages back but I am SO happy to see others jumping on my hate train. And to think I used to LOVE Smart Start.

Richard Simmons, Mario Cantone: Potato, Po-tah-to
The only thing I've been able to tolerate Mario Cantone in is Ask a Gay Guy on Chapelle's Show

Mac Guy: Hi, I'm a Mac!
PC Guy: Hi, I'm a PC!
Mac Guy: Did you know I come with a stylish and sleek mouse, with no buttons?
PC Guy: I come with a mouse with two buttons and a scroll function! I don't have to learn which fucking apple key works with whatever function! I just use the right button. And the mouse comes standard with every PC, asshole!
Mac guy: Touché!

I love my Mac but those damn commercials are annoying. And it bugs the shit out of me that you have to buy a two button mouse. And according to the dictionary, PC Guy did use touché correctly. You can say it after a witty remark.

The two clowns...er, angels on the Angel Soft toilet paper commercial need to die. The whole script is lame from start to finish but the final moment is the capper when one angel says, "Wee wee." The other angel, wearing a beret because he's taking French lessons, thinks the first angel said, "Oui oui," and comments on his French. First angel replies that he's not really speaking French; he just needs to "go" really badly and they both crack up like crazed hyenas.

Equally high on my hate list is the new Crest Whitestrips spokes-skeleton. Cree-pee. If the message is that I'll die of starvation if I use the product, I'll pass, thanks. ETA: My real issue is that Crest is presenting this woman as some sort of beauty ideal when she really should be in an eating disorder treatment centre. Way to promote an unhealthy female body image, Crest. Like the world needs any more of that shit.

Oh, and fast. They just keep running that commercial over and over and over, too.

Maybe we could get the Drano giant flying hair clog to land on them.

There was one commercial that I found rather offensive and I'm not easily offended. The one angel says something to the other angel about putting the toilet seat down when a woman lives in the house and the other angel asks why and the first angel says "man, you don't know squat!" I thought that was the most tasteless thing I have heard in a long time. I'll never buy that brand (it's not very good anyway).

If they are angels, aren't they already dead?

Because there isn't a "Commercials That Make you Want to Bitchslap the People in Them" thread, I'm thinking it's okay to post this here.

I think the commercial is for Home Depot. This woman repeatedly taps her glass on the the refrigerator door, and says something like, "hmmm, there's no water." Then she does it again, a few inches over, and says "hmmm, there's no ice." Her husband gives her a stunned look, but if I have to see this commercial too many more times, I can't be held responsible for my actions.

Ha!!

Mac Guy: Hi, I'm a Mac!
PC Guy: Hi, I'm a PC!
Mac Guy: Did you know I cost twice as much him (points to PC Guy) and have half the available software?
PC Guy: Like I have to say a damned thing.

I hate how Mac Guy is such a smug bastard. It'd be different if, if you wanted to switch to a Mac, you didn't have to fucking buy Mac versions of the software you already own and you didn't have to sell your firstborn, a kidney, and whore yourself out just to get one of the lower end models.

And PC guy is so earnest, and he really wants to do a good job, it's not his fault that his user is probably downloading twelve hours of porn a day, and so his hard drive is full of viruses, but his user can't be bothered to download a simple virus scan or twelve, so even though he keeps freezing up every other second, it's not because he's a PC.

Mac guy could take a little pity, and not be such a snobbish asshole about it.

I want those cream cheese angels to go away. Now. I hate them. Especialy the dtzy blond one. If this is what heaven is like, I don't wanna go there.

I fucking hate (HATE) the McDonald's/Pirates of the Carribbean tie-in commercial. The shitty fucked-up hip-hop "music" and the "pirates" following the black guy (gee, what a surprise--hip hop music and a black person: do we not listen to anything but hip-hop in TV land??) make me want to hit someone--preferably an ad exec for McDonald's. No, I don't want to see the fucking Pirates of the fucking Carribbean, and no, I don't want a shitty goddamn Big Mac.

Oh, and the Army commercials where idiots say to their friend, "Hey, you could have done ____ here, right?" are just plain stupid. Go away, idiot friends/employers.

Theres a commercial for a hotel chain with a family walking around with mohawks. They come face to face with a group of punks and for a minute it looks like theres gonna be a rumble, but then the punks let them walk away and they do, smugly. What bothers me is the look on the wifes face. She tilts her head up high and struts away in her mom jeans like shes saying "Yea, my hair looks like shit.. SUCK IT." Its so annoying.

I complained about that one a while back, in the "scratch your head" thread. It's for Hampton Inns, and the family doesn't have mohawks (not meaning to be critical, because I sure didn't understand either), they have "bed head." Because... the beds in the hotel are soooo comfortable? or something? and this impresses the punks sufficiently? or something? I still don't get this one.

Count me in on the Kevin Bacon/Michael Jordan Hanes commercial. What.... are they supposed to be living together now? And that stupid look on Bacon's face at the end when Jordan steals his grape. Urrrgh!

It's the smug "not really" that gets me. Like "I could have worked on computers here, but it just wouldn't have been as rewarding without 120° heat, profanity-spewing drill sergeants, and people shooting at me!"

That one bugs me just because, ever since someone here at TWoP pointed it out, I can't help but notice how blatantly obvious it is that they filmed Kevin and Michael at two separate studios.

OMG! I was coming here to post this very comment, ButterBeans! I, too, want to bitch slap the woman into oblivion. And it's like the guy thinks it's cute and quirky. Mr. 'bert would [quite justifiably] smack me up-cross the side of the head were I to act that stupid.

I can't not share this. A whole community dedicated to the love between Mac and PC. It's geeky, insane, horribly wrong, and oddly wonderful. It is the entirety of the internet, all in one neat little package.

Then he says, "Point taken" instead of the more appropriate "I married a moron."

I think it's also Home Depot that gives us the moronic woman walking around all day carrying the big sheet cake, presumably because her refrigerator is too small for it. If you can carry the cake around with you in the bathroom, on the street, and at the office, it clearly didn't need refrigeration in the first place.

pengbear wrote:


Preach on, Pengbear! Very few things bug me more than when ad producers can't even come up with an original jingle. I almost cried when I first heard the Applebee's Mack the Knife retread. Poor, poor Bobby Darin. Not to mention the awesome Robert Palmer. Damn Abblebees to the deepest bowels of Hell.

How could the HeadOn people even think that making the same commercial for their other products (ActivOn and Freedhem) is a good idea? And of course, lovely CNN decided to treat/torture us with an airing of all three commercials in a row.
All it makes me do is yell back at my TV "FuckOff, apply directly up your ass!!!!"

That American Express commercial with the Amex talking heads each relating a story about how their card saved the day. One tells of a man and fiance picking out a ring but his Visa card gets rejected. Until it's suggested he call Amex for their card with no spending limits. Hmmm, if he's already maxed out on his Visa card, Amex putting his ass in hock is good how....?



Agghh, I hadn't noticed. That makes it worse. I wonder if they'll come out with a second version where Jordan tries to act, but Bacon keeps throwing DVDs of "Space Jam" at him.

Susaphone, from some pages back, wrote:



I must agree. I can't stand Parker anyway, with her totally undeserved reputation for being someone whose style should be imitated rather than burned. But she really looks fugly in that ad. Her hair is just too long and shapeless and well, I just can't stand her.

I originally came to this thread, although I know I am extremely late on this, to express my horror and hatred of the Tide to go pen commercial. To my amazement, I learned that the woman in the ad, who I thought was a less-attractive, even more skeletal version of Kelly Ripa, was Ripa herself! What was she thinking? I normally don't dislike her, but words cannot express the depth of my loathing for that ad. The expression on her face when she vapidly nods and grins when her husband asks if she can't stop singing that song. . . . Maybe, if her acting choice, had been to give a pause, and a somewhat fearful, resigned look before acknowledging that she can't help it, I wouldn't hate the ad as much (although the closeup would still be a bad, bad idea). She looks like she's gleefully enjoying torturing her husband and everyone else with her idiotic singing. And because it can't be said enough, wow, she looks terrible in that ad.

Bobby Darin?? Where's the love for Kurt Weill, who actually, y'know, wrote it??

The song dates from early in the century. It's available to anybody who wants to sing it. Personally, I'm happy the Kurt Weill Foundation is making some big money from this right now, as they (occasionally) employ me. So it's all good as far as I'm concerned.

You know? I mean, really. I hate all the stupid credit card commercials--especially the one with the alt-rock whatthefuckever song that has utterly incomprehensible lyrics playing over scenes of the Pretty Typical White Family as they go through life's stages--complete with them putting themselves in all kinds of debt, thanks to Visa. Yay, debt! Oddly, that commercial doesn't show the bitter divorce and argument over who owes what on which Platinum MegaVisa with 5.99% APR*

*which you lose and immediately go to 18.548% if your ass misses a payment by as little as an hour

I think that is actually Chase Mastercard. And, if I counted right, he has 12 cards in his wallet!

Count me in on the hate for the Home Depot ice machine woman. I can't stand her. If you want a fridge with an ice/water dispenser, how about being a grown-up and discussing it with your husband instead of pulling that stupid junior-high routine? Every time I see that commercial, I hope the husband goes to a divorce lawyer instead of the Home Depot.

I've come to complain about that guy from those PC vs. Mac commercials. The PC is represented as some middle aged, almost nerdy, worker fellow. The Mac is these greasy-ass, I-don't-take-showers, college flunkee, scruffy looking fellow. And he annoys me to no end. Every time I see his condescending, european pants wearing neck I wanna ring it. In one commercial he is seen talking to a Japanese girl and claims "I speaks her language", but then proceeds to speak the most broken, awkward Japanese because he probably learned it 5 minutes ago for the commercial.
They're trying to show that Mac is better than PC, but this dude is garbage. Who's he supposed to be? A fake-ass Colin Farrell? A downgrade from that "dude you're getting a Dell' guy? Am I supposed to identify with him because he is young and "hip"? I wish that he would shave and take his hands out of his pockets. I can identify with shaving.

Ooh, thank you for mentioning her! I just posted about her in another thread. She was originally the Flower Cake lady from the 1-800-Flowers ads, I believe. That ad used to annoy me every time because her nasal remark that the flower-covered cake "smelled sooooo good" just seemed like satire. But over time that annoyance turned to amusement somehow. I couldn't imagine how this actress would ever get any substantial work with that distinctive voice. But now I see how: As the Crumb Cake lady, and the DQ lady...and the mildly retarded lady... It all makes sense now.

I had a hard time deciding which category this post would go in. It could fit into the 'Horrifying' commercials, or the 'Scratch Your Head' commercials, but I decided to put it here because I was more annoyed than puzzled or horrified.

there is evidently a new series of Geico commercials. It has everyday type people relating stories about Geico, and along with the people, sitting right beside them, are 1) Burt Bacharach, and 2) Little Richard. And they both look embalmed. Ugh. Please somebody tell me I was having a bad dream.

We're living the same life! I went through the same thought process trying to figure out where to put this.

I just saw the one with Charo. How in the world can she look exactly the same now as she did 150 years ago when she was, even then, a minor celeb?

She must go away now.

And, OT, the ridiculous amount of money Geico spends on commercials is exactly what prompted me to do a comparison after having been with them for 7 years, without a claim. I got the same coverage from Progressive (for $300/yr less), and cancelled Geico.