You all know the drill, right? Something you can't imagine a particular character saying EVER. I'll start.

The Master: Kill the Doctor and take over the universe? No thanks, I'd just like a nice cup of tea.

Dalek (to the Doctor): Let's be friends.

The Doctor: Okay (They hug).

Captain Jack: Not tonight, I have a headache.

Jackie Tyler: Sorry Rose, I'll be working late at the office tonight so we can close this merger.

The 6th Doctor: I'll have more of that carrot juice, please.

Gas Mask Child: You are not my mother, you are a Snort! [/obscure kids' book reference]

Doctor: Adric! You genius!

The Doctor: No, I'm not going to save the universe this week. I'm going to play mini golf. The universe got itself into this mess, it can get itself back out.

Adric: Math is dumb.

Tegan: All this violence and destruction is awesome!

Good one!

Fifth Doctor: Everybody died? Again? Oh well, no big loss.

Ahahaha! I love you for this. That was one of my favorite books when I was a kid.

Yay! I'm glad you got it and enjoyed it. :-)

Jack: I'm just not in the mood.


Rose: I'm utterly sick of the TARDIS. Doctor, take me home!


Nine: Sorry to tell you this, Rose, but I really hate chips.

Davros: Daleks? They can't climb up stairs or travel over loose shale and they've got really annoying voices. That was an incredibly stupid idea of mine.

K9: Screw you, scarf guy. Fetch it yourself.

Doctor: "Time. The final Frontier. These are the voyages of the good ship TARDIS. Its Eternal mission ..."

Jackie Tyler: "Nietzche was an interesting figure, but if you desire truly lagubrious commentary on the plilght of free radicalism in a distaff hierarchy, you really have to read Hegel."

Cassandra: "I need to put on some pounds. Being this thin isn't healthy."

Rose: "This party is dull. What we need is a - Blood Orgy!"
Doctor: "Blood Orgy!"
Mickey: "Blood Orgy!"
Clive: "Blood Orgy! And I'm alive - hooray!"
Rose: "Sacrifice Clive!"
Clive: "Should have seen that one coming."

A Dalek: Ex-foli-ate . . . hang about, that's not right . . . e-rad-i-cate . . . no, no . . .e-lim-i-nate . . . closer, but it still doesn't have that zing . . .FREE LOVE . . .well bugger, now I've totally gone off message . . .

Rose: "Are we there yet?"

Doctor: Oh let's kill 'em all and let god sort 'em out.



I could actually see the Doctor using this one to mess with someone's head.

bwahaha!

Sarah Jane: Oooh, you sexy bug-eyed monster you. I could never get sick and tired of being savaged by you, big boy. ::eyeflutter::

The First Doctor: Awww.......what a nice little flower.

Ian: Barbara, did I ever tell you that you look all kinds of hot in that blue dress?

Susan: Look, Grandfather, I can walk!

Polly: Ya effin' geezer!

The Second Doctor: When I say stay.......stay!

Zoe: You are completely correct and I was totally wrong.

The Third Doctor: A big up to my fellow timelords! Massive!

Sarah Jane: Doctor, do you have a fisherman's friend for me?

Tegan: Could you please help me to unbutton my dress, Doctor?

Peri: Sigh, life isn't easy for a top mathematician like myself.

Peri: Doctor, I understand completely.

The Brigadier: Oh, no! Aliens!!! What'll I do? What'll I do?

Here's a couple for Aliens of London/World War III:

Slitheen: Bathroom humor is so crass and juvenile.

Harriet Jones: Look, it really doesn't matter where I'm MP of.

And for the Doctor/Rose shippers ...

Rose: Well, it may have been a long time for you, but it was only 10 seconds for me.

Mickey: Oh Rose, you're back ... um, sorry, I'm kinda busy tonight. Can we just catch up next time you're around? Gotta dash.

The Doctor: ... but I think we can solve the problem by recalibrating the shield frequencies and diverting auxiliary power to the main deflectors.

(This is from an American who hasn't seen any Season 2, FYI.)

Rose: Hey, Doctor, why don't you get another Companion? I'd really like that. I'm getting lonely.

BTW, HEE! to c4miles's post!

ETA: Yay! I'm now a Fanatic!

Actually - I can totally see him saying that. Not being serious though.



Nine: Can't we just go to your Mum's house and eat Shepherd's Pie for once? I'm tired of travelling.

Yes, I did wonder about that. How about:

The TARDIS: 'Does this disguise make my outside look smaller, or is it just me?'

Dalek: Fo'-shiz-zle.

I think I love you dannyboybell. heee.

Ten: See I really really did want to be ginger so I just went and got it done. Whaddya think Rose?

Peri: Will the camera please get away from my boobs, thank you! Now as I was saying Doctor about quantum physics...

Ace: I'm getting some psychotherapy about my attachment to explosives so can't join you for this adventure.

Ace: Woof!

Mel: aqua is such a shit colour on me yes?

Rose: Doctor I'm coming! (more's the pity)

Dalek: singing "I feel pretty oh so pretty..."

Nine: Actually who gives a rats about the Time War?

Snerk! Or maybe:

Dalek: Don't hate the playa, hate the game!

Azalea, BWAH!! Love it.

ETA: I really ought to add another since this is the top of the page, but I can't think of any... sorry.

Baha!! Oh so evil, I love it!

It reminds me of the www.tombakersays.com site, where they've used the recordings of Tom Baker's voice (for the BT text message service) to record all manner of quotes - and featured in the movies section was the phrase, "A scratch? Your arm's off!"

K9: "Spin my nipple nuts and send me to Alaska" (As robotic companions/crewmates go, Kryters is by far the funnier)

The Doctor (regaining consciousness): Odd, my shirt feels tight... what the ... (checks self) I've got jubblies! I've regenerated as a bloody woman!

[That's a challenge, Auntie Beeb!]

You need to see Curse of Fatal Death, where the Doctor's final regeneration is Joanna Lumley. "Rattling around the universe with my trusty old TARDIS, and of course my sonic screwdriver... ooh, three settings!"

Good grief! You leave the UK for a mere decade or so and they up and regenerate the Doctor as Patsy!

The Doctor: (singing, to Rose) Don't fear the Reapers...

ETA: Teehee, airylli, I totally did not know that!

[Which is funny because they used that song for that DW Confidential...]

Housewife: "When are we going to go to another book reading?"
Husband: "Good grief! When I came home from work today, I wasn't expecting a Dickensian Inquisition."
(Crash music. Charles Dickens and some rent-a-guards bound into the room.)
Dickens: "NO-body expects the Dickensian Inquisition!!!!!"

9th Doctor: "I think I'll just go and change clothes now"

Adric: Wearing my gold star for mathematics on my pajamas does make me look like a w***er, doesn't it?

Nine: Oh, the Time Lords? I don't really miss them. They were dull and pretentious. Let's go have some chips!

Jo Grant: No Doctor, you've got it all wrong! Do I have to explain everything to you??

Cyberman: Resistance is effective!

The Master: My dear Doctor, how good it is to see you yet again. No, really, it is good to see you. I've given up all this "take over the universe" business and become a Buddhist.

The Doctor: "That's the stupidest question I've ever heard, Rose!"

The Doctor: "Now Rose, if we are to blend in successfully, you'll need to drop this ridiculous shopgirl dialect!"
Rose: "Just you wait, 'enry 'iggins, just you wait."

The Doctor: "The TARDIS can take us to any point in time or space, as long as it's in London."

Edited because the forum inexplicably duplicated the text, causing a parad -- REAPERS!!!! AIYEEE!!!

Captain Jack: I've decided to become a monk. Goodbye, all!

Now, now. It can also do Cardiff.

Doctor: Hurry up, Rose!!! Don't you want to see the fall of Troy?
Rose: I've decided to stay with Mickey. He's far better looking than you, and we have much more fun.



Doctor: Mickey can come with us!!!

No.. wait. That already happened. *seethes*

Ten: (seeing minor character is dead) I'm so, so sorry. Well, a bit sorry. To be honest, I've only known you for five minutes, so it's unrealistic to expect some sort of huge emotional connection. You'd think I'd be used to random deaths by now, really.

Rose: On reflection, I really should have stuck with Chris Evans.

Ten: I am a lonely ... well not that lonely, how many companions have I had now?
Rose: Had? You've HAD companions?
Ten" Lord Yes! All of em - Perri was my favourite - those breasts, sigh!
Rose: So why not me ,Mickey or Captain Jack then?
Ten: Ah no Rose, it's only you I haven't shagged - all them shippers and fanboys terified I migh like you have got it totally wrong. Timelords are the greatest sluts in all of Time. Just not with you dear.
Rose (crying): but I thought you loved me?!!
Ten: Nah dear - you're a chav - even Timelords have standards....now where was I...oh yes time to SHOUT!!!!!!

Oh, that was so wrong! I need a new keyboard! Now to go wash the image of Six and Peri out of my brain.

Now Five and Peri....I can see that....

If glarkware were to do a S2 Who teeshirt, I demand that this be the slogan!

Thanks guys. I do love Ten but yes the shouting! Did you get Peri and six out of your head? Personally I hated Mel the most...

Doctor: ******** **** you ************! **** and ******** with a *****************!!!11!!one!

Apparently we wont ever hear: Ten saying: Rose. I love you. Bastards.
ETA to spoilerise and thank cutecouple for pointing out what I was too stupid to pick up.