This is a thread for the Meredith/Derek/Addison Triangle-haters, sick and tired of being strung along by the writers.

I used to want a smart, sexy, believable end to the triangle. I wanted romantic. I wanted sweet. I wanted McDreamy to initiate the end, as a bold step proclaiming his love for sweet Mere. I don't care about those things anymore. I just want it done. Even if it's far-fetched and unbelievable. Even if it involves bombs, floods, or the earth opening and swallowing Addison on her way to the hospital.

Since I'd like to assume the best in people, including the writers, maybe they just can't think of the perfect way to end it. Maybe it's not good enough. Maybe it's not bad enough. Maybe it's not something that ABC will let them air.

So, to bide our time until the triangle ends for real, let's come up with some ideas for our dear GA writers. It'd be helpful for them, right?

My vision is that these will be very imaginative; not incredibly, incredibly gruesome or horrific. They can involve lighthearted death, if necessary. They can be dramatic or funny, irreverent, even goofy. Brief description--no full-on fan fiction stories. The key is that they're swift. An immediate end to the triangle. Oh, and Mere and Dere need to be the ones left standing.

I'll start:

Way to End the Triangle #1:

Addison is contacted by an ecstatic couple who'd like to deliver their baby on a hot air balloon. Addison agrees, eager for the publicity to help build her fledgling Seattle OB/GYN/Neonatology/Pediatric surgery practice. Balloon crashes, mortally wounding Addison, but sparing the lives of new mom, dad and babe. So sad. Mere and Der are free to be together, to walk Doc and kiss in the woods whenever they please.

#2 - I push Addison off the roof.

Way to End the Triangle #3:

Addison realizes that she's in love with Christina Yang. They quickly fall in love and move to Tuscany.

#4: At a party, Addison gets damn lonely because McD is stuck in the hospital. She sees McSteam come waltzing in and telling her he loves her, so she sleeps with him again. McD makes it to the party late, and finds them in the same position as they were before. He swiftly signed the divorce papers and Addison hauls her sorry ass back to NYC.

#5 Addison makes the news, after she's arrested for being the madam of upper-class prostitution rings in both Seattle and New York. She's been enlisting women from all walks of life including, it turns out, naughty nurses Olivia and Debbie. The police finally have enough evidence to arrest her after Joe the bartender, undercover, sees her offer a patron in on the saucy business (but suggests that she first visit the resident plastic surgeon for a little...professional development).

#6: Addison thought she should ride the Elevator of Lust more often to deter any activities between McD and Meh, unfortunately, she falls down the elevator shaft.

(Flux, I'm rolling on the floor...this mental picture of Addison in dress, lab coat and heels, crouched above the elevator, peering down through a hole, just waiting...)

#7 During an argument between Derek and Addison in the trailer, Doc notices Addy's cel phone on the nightstand and hits Mark's speed-dial number with his grubby little paw. Mark hears the whole thing, gets on the first plane to Seattle and surprises Addison in the above-mentioned Elevator of Lust. Mid-steamy-kiss, the elevator doors open, and who should be standing there? New "friends" Derek and Meredith. Divorce papers are eagerly signed over drinks at the Airport bar. Addy and Mark fly back to NY and live lustily ever after.

#8- That poison oak spreads from Addison's va-jay-jay to her brain. McDreamy must operate, but realizes there is no way to save her, and it's not worth it anyway. Oh, darn...

#9 Addison, determined to gain back her husband's affection and adoration, travels to NY for some plastic surgery. She wants to be more beautiful. She wants Derek to find her more attractive. She goes to the best: Mark. And she asks for "the works".

She wakes up in recovery and her face is completely wrapped in gauze. Like a mummy. When the bandages are removed, she realizes that Mark modified her face to make her look EXACTLY like Meredith's! Absolutely mortified, she never returns to Seattle, but stays in NY and enjoys a lifetime of lust sessions as "Meredith" with McSteamy.

(A few here! I just want Addy to be well represented. :D )

#9.5: Addison leaves Derek and has a fabulous life while MerDer contnue to have chemisty/boringness until the show's 125th season finale, wherein the show ends.

(EDIT: Realised there was a rule against AdDerek. No fun. :( )

#10: Addison tripped over her own heels while walking down the curb and suffered severed head injury and internal bleeding. By the time McD got there, she was already gone.

(Now I know the 'must have MerDer' rule, I'll write a new post and not hold everyone up. :) )

11: Derek accidentally kills Addison in a fit of rage. He goes to jail, and we get Mer/Der - through their letters to/from prison.

12: Mark returns to New York and lies to Derek, pretending he slept with Addison, to break them up. Derek divorces Addison and thooks up with Mer. Mark's body washes up a few weeks later somewhere.

13: Meredith gets drunk and goes to the trailer while Addison is out and seduces Derek. They have sex and Addison walks in on them. She is depressed, but stays at SGH and continues to be awesome even though Derek and Mer are still there.

#14 The husband of one of Addison's post-partum patients (father of a healthy baby boy) enters the hospital with a gun and, in a tragic act of violence, shoots Addison. He wanted a girl.

Re-numbering issues solved, kind of

#15: Addison gets attack by a bear while walking Doc. Too bad McD was still fast asleep, it was his off day and he wasn't meeting Meh.

The numbers are messed up!

#16 Addison notices that it's taking Derek longer than usual to walk the dog, and when she goes to look for him she discovers him and Meredith sitting quietly and platonically on a bench in the park. With Mark's words ringing in her head about Derek not hiding his love for Meredith, and angry that Derek is sneaking around and emotionally cheating on her, Addison packs her things and returns to New York.

Webber later apologizes to both Meredith and Derek for being an interfering asshole by bringing Addison to Seattle in the first place.

#16 One morning, Derek grills some trout for breakfast outside of the trailer. Addy, also in search of a hearty breakfast, makes herself a couple eggs and cooks a can of hash browns she found in the trailer's pantry. Unfortunately, the hash browns had been in there for 15 years, were improperly canned, and Addison promptly suffers the swift effects of botulism poisoning. Derek comes in after slowly savoring his grilled trout, only to find Addison collapsed on the floor, dead.

McSteamy bawls like a baby at her funeral, while Derek and Meredith cling each other for comfort.

#17: Addison couldn't withstand a bad case of shingles and kindly overdosed on pain killers.

#18 After irritating Christina and Burke to the point of kicking him out, George sits idly outside the hospital, once again, with his old, little yellow suitcase. Derek takes pity on him and invites George to stay on the sofa of the trailer. George accepts.

One night, Derek is operating late, doing an emergency craniotomy. George notices that Addison is feeling lonely, so he sneaks into their "bedroom" and makes an attempt with Addison. "I will never leave you; I will never hurt you..." Yada-yada. Once again, George finds his clothes being ripped off by a woman in need. George does with Addison what he professed to Mere that he loves doing so much. And so much more. No crying. And no laughing. All business. George is now quite the do-er.

The next day at work, George finds himself in a stairwell and "accidentally" yells to Meredith and McDreamy that he had sex with Addison. Derek demands that Addison move out, and informs her that he'll be signing the divorce papers as soon as he gets done in surgery.

That evening, Addison and George go home, pack both of their things into George's little suitcase, and return to the hospital. Both looking forlorn, they man their post in front of the hospital until Webber offers to take them both in.

#19: Addison fell overboard on the ferryboat. McD was too busy text messaging to notice her absence.

#20 Meredith and Addison get in a catfight in the hospital lobby. Meredith absolutely kicks Addy's baby-deliverin', poison oak sportin' ass with her tiny ineffectual fists.

Mortified, Addison leaves the hospital, never wanting to show her face there again. She signs the damn papers and moves back to Manhattan.

#21 Getting up to walk the dog one morning, Addison had an epiphany. She marched back into the house, woke up McD and said, "I am a highly respected surgeon in my field. I get calls across the country asked me to help their patients. I am better than this, than you. Living back in New York with Mark, who by the way kicks your ass in the looks department, I had someone who loved and appreciated me and gave me lots of orgasms. Living with you, I get a trailer, attitude for you, and poison oak. Screw you. Sign the damn papers right now." Stunned, he does so, and Addison packs her bags and catches a plane, but not before leaving a lovely present from Meredith Grey's dog on his pillow.

McD comes crawling back to Meredith to take him back. "I don't know; you lied to me and put me through hell for months" Mere said. "Why the hell should I forgive you?" McD made puppy dog eyes at her. Mere finally relented with an exasperated sigh. "Fine. But I have a few conditions."

For the next few weeks, McD came to work everyday wearing Doc's collar and a T-shirt saying "Me is a dummy" and sang 'I'm a little teapot' on a table every day at lunch.

#22 Addison leaves the trailer with Doc. A bolt of lightning randomly comes from the sky, striking her and quickly, painlessly ending her life. Doc steps away, thankful that his leash wasn't chain-link metal. He runs back to the trailer to happily tell McDreamy what just happened.

#23: Addison kept whining to Bailey about how McD doesn't pay her enough attention. Fed up and filled with raging hormones, Bailey snapped her like a chicken.

flux, marry me?

This thread has me rolling. Someone get Shonda's email address and send it to her stat!!! I think its better than what the writer's are going to come up with.

#24. One dreary Seattle morning, Addison went into the bathroom of the trailer and took a good, long look in the mirror. She noticed that the roots of her usually-Red hair were turning blonde. It was unexpected. It was unusual. It was undignified! ("I mean," she thought, "what self-respecting OB/GYN/Neonatologist/Pediatric Surgeon would be seen like THIS?!") Groaning at the prospect of having to find a hairdresser and, gulp, fit a hair appointment into her already-packed OB/GYN/ Neonatologist/Pediatric Surgeon schedule, she went to the nearest convenience store and bought herself some red hair color. (The color was called "HorRed", to be exact). "How hard could it be?" She thought.

Unfortunately, she soon learned that she should've entrusted her auburn locks to a professional. As the dye remained in contact with her scalp, she began to develop hives and facial swelling. She soon had difficulty breathing. Full anaphylactic shock. As she reached for the phone to call "911", she noticed that the cord had been chewed completely through by Doc. She died that day in the trailer, her final words, "...Meredith Grey's dog..."

Miss Chanandeler Bong, I'm flattered, but I must let you down gently. I'm on a mission to rid anything that gets into McD and Meh's way, and it's not fair to you or me. I hope you'll understand.

#25: "I see a woman, mid-30s, red hair, ugh, salmon coloured scrubs in 3-inch heels," says a man watching with binoculars in the air vent.

"Whoa, that combination is totally clashing, even I know that," says a woman at the other end of the converstaion.

"Chloe, please. We don't need your fashion input right now."

Chloe: She's wearing 3-inch heels, working in a hospital, on her feet all day long? Jack, don't you find that a little suspicious?

Jack: Are those Manolo's?

Chloe: Oh, those were soooo last year.

Jack: Ohhh, are you seeing what I'm seeing?

Chloe: What are you seeing?

Jack: Her ends are totally split. She should consider buying a new conditioner.

Chloe: Jack, you should tell her to lighten up on her makeup too. She's got like 5 layers on. And that shade of lipstick, really doesn't work suit her complexion.

Jack crawls his way to stairwell and continues to observe her movement from afar.

"WHO are you WORKING for?", yells Jack.

Chloe: Jack, what are you doing?

Jack: Oh, sorry. I was just practicing.

Chloe: Practice on your own time. In case if you haven't noticed, she's on the move.

Jack: I'll go check it out.

Chloe: Everything is weird about her, Jack. The clashing colours, the makeup, the heels. Something isn't right.

Jack: I know. Something is definitely now right about her. And why is she walking like that?

Chloe: Like what?

Jack: Like she got something stuck up her ass.

Chloe: Maybe she does. I'll run a thermal scan on the perimeter.

Jack: Anything?

Chloe: The only thing brighter than the scan is her hair and scrubs, if that's what you mean.

Jack: My god, what is she doing now? Why is she....oh my god...she's, she's...

Chloe: Jack, do something. Hurry!

Jack: Put is down! Put it down now!

Addison: I...I was...

Jack: Shut up!

Addison: But...I...

Jack: Put the triple layer fudge cake down and step away from the whipped cream.

Chloe: What is she trying to do? Those things are super fattening!

Addison: I'm lonely. My husband doesn't pay attention to me.

Jack: Oh, quit whining. You're pathetic. Maybe if you stop slapping your face with makeup and do a little colour coordination, he would pay more attention to you. We can work this out.

Addison: I can't, I cheated on him.

Jack: You what? Lady, stop eating!

Addison: I cheated on him with his best friend.

Jack: I swear to god, put the cake down!

Addison: I can't. [starts sobbing]

Chloe: Oh man, she's hysterical. This is so painful to watch, yet, so amusing. I can't take my eyes off of it. Whoa, did you see that? She chucked that piece down in like 2 bites?

Jack: How did she? What the hell? Alright, put your hands behind your back and get on your knees! NOW!

Addison: ..... [munching noise]

Jack: This is your last warning. Put your hands behind your back and get on your knees! DO IT!

Addison: .....

Jack: You've given me no choice. Jack flips the cake on purpose and it falls to the floor

"Noooooooooooooo!", Addison yells in slow motion. She immediately runs after the fallen cake and preceeded to pick off the top layer that hasn't touched the floor.

Jack and Chloe: Dear lord, she needs help, lots of it.

Addison: It's still good, it's still good. Ten second rule!

Jack: Okay, this is sick. Stop! Stop it, now!

At that precise moment, Addison got up and ran towards Jack.

Chloe: Watch out!

Jack: You don't want to do this. I'm telling you. It doesn't matter if you have a knife, I can kill you with my tights.

Addison: You bastard. You killed my cake! You need to pay.

Jack: Weren't you listening? I can kill you with my bare hands. Trust me, you don't want to do this.

Despite the warning, Addison charge at him with full speed. Once again, Jack man-handled the situation and needless to say, Addison didn't stand a chance.

Chloe: You know what? Chase could totally use that arm.

Jack: Hey, you're right. Tony, I'm gonna need a hacksaw.

Sorry if that was a little long.

Damn. She was dead before I got to even suggest that her conditioner change include something with a little... lavendar? Nice work, Jack and Chloe. Nice work.

#26 Preston invites Derek and Addy over for dinner, one Friday evening. After all, he is PRESTON Burke, renowned cardiothoracic surgeon. And he is an excellent cook. Derek puts on...well, who am I kidding? Derek puts on <<insert outfit description here>> and, as always, looks smokin' hot! Addy dolls herself up, too, and puts on her-extra sharp heels. After all, the friggin interns here are adorable. No room to let Derek be distracted by THEM. She has to step it up a notch. A little extra red lipstick. A little extra eyeshadow. Peeeerfect.

After a lovely dinner and some wine, Christina excuses herself to use the bathroom. When she returns, she's got her I-pod and re-enters the room dancing crazily to seemingly wild music that only she hears. Preston, unable to control his bad-ass self, gets up from the table and starts to dance with her. "I am Preston Burke. And I am quite the dancer" Go Preston, go. A moment of jealousy hits Addison. They look like they're having so much fun. Why don't Derek and I do stuff like this? "Come on, Derek. Get up and dance with me..." She gets up from the table and begins to also crazily dance to whatever unknown music Christina is enjoying so much. "No Addison, you know I hate to dance." "Come on, Derek. It's fun!" Determined to change his mind, Addison steps it up a notch, dancing more and more wildly. Preston and Christina both stop dancing and quietly watch her, horrified and a little sickened.

All at once, Addison trips on her own feet and tumbles to the floor. One of her shoes has come off and, as she falls, she is stabbed in the chest by her too-sharp-to-be-seen-in-public-with heel. Penetrating chest wound alert! Christina and Burke thrive on this stuff! (Later, Christina tells Burke, "That was the coolest have-another-couple-over-for-dinner night EVER!") So, they open up her chest right there and try to save her, using only kitchen tools and a nail file they found in the nightstand. But, alas, the damage was too great. And Addison dies.

Hee, JennRN. Hilarious.

#27: Addison walks out the trailer and gets hit by lightening.

#28: Doc overpowers Addison and mounts her from behind (I'm so mean, I'm really sorry.)

#29: She won't eat McD's trout for breakfast, so she went to make herself some pancakes. Unfortunately, McD ran out of pancake mix and she had to settle for muselix. But McD doesn't have any milk. Pissed off, she grabbed the first thing she could find in the fridge. It was the left-over hamburger patty from last night. She was in a hurry and warmed it up slightly before consuming the entire thing. Unknown to her, the patty hasn't been cooked thouroughly and is contaminated with E. coli bacteria. She kept throwing up and people just assumed she had the flu, until one day, she dropped dead in the nursery. Whoops.

flux, really? You had me at Jack and Chloe.

I'm patient. I will wait for you.

*taps fingers*

#30 Doc, plagued by inner turmoil related to the separation of McDreamy and Meredith, decides to take matters into his own paws.

One night, while Addison sleeps, he fashions a noose with his leash and slips it around her neck. Holding on to the other end (with his teeth, of course), he tugs and tugs, choking poor Addison until she's dead. He's sad to have lost a friend, but pleased with his own sense of irony.

#31 After a look at the couple's finances, Addison realizes why Derek has been living in a trailer. Medical school loans, the cost of Derek's land, and high-style Manhattan living have left them with quite a bit of debt. So, hating the trailer and wanting to transition them into a different home, Addison looks for a money-making plan. She can come up with a great business idea, pitch it to Derek, (maybe) carry it out, and they can get the hell out of the trailer.

After countless sleepless, sexless nights in the trailer, the idea finally comes to her. The reason she's in this mess is because of the charming appeal of the two main men in her life. In fact, it's almost a chemical, animal attraction. And, therein lies the idea: Eau de McDreamy (and Eau de McSteamy, for that matter.) Derek and Mark, irresistable to womankind. Bottle their scents and make a fortune, preying on lonely guys everywhere. In fact, if chemists could mix the two scents...Hmm.

Addison has smell analysts spend some time with Derek. And with Mark. The chemists go back to the lab, concocting their potions, and coming up with the prototype test-scents. Finally the day comes when the scientists call Addison to the lab. They tell her that the two scents are ready, and they'd like her to get a whiff. The desk clerk at the lab escorts Addy to a consult room. They send in the first geeky scientist--this one wearing Eau de McDreamy. She's beside herself--can barely contain the raw hunger that this scent stirs in her. Geeky Scientist #1 leaves. Geeky Scientist #2--Eau de McSteamy. Addison feels shivers coursing through her body. It's a sensual experience, and McSteamy is 3000 miles away. Amazing. He exits the room. The scent-creating scientists now return. The moment of truth: the mixing of the two scents. The genius scent-creating scientists have 3 test tubes--1 with Eau de McDreamy, 1 with McSteamy, and one to create the mixture. The two genius scientists each take an eye-dropper full of one of the scents and together deposit them in the middle, empty test tube. In a split second, the chemicals cause an enormous, violent explosion. McDreamy and McSteamy can not be crossed! And Addison and the two genious scent-creating scientists are instantly turned into a hazy, pink mist.

#32 Addison and Doc are lounging around the trailer watching TV when aliens arrive and kidnap Doc, temporarily paralyzing Addison so that she can’t help. She becomes obsessed by the dog’s kidnapping, by aliens, and by the paranormal in general, to the point where her colleagues start calling her McSpooky behind her back. She starts skipping work and drinking heavily. She and Mere actually become friendly during this period, and are often seen leaning on each other and singing Duran Duran’s Careless Memories loudly and badly while Joe is trying to close up the bar. Addison soon quits her job and divorces Derrick, who gives her the trailer and alimony (since she’s no longer capable of working a real job). Derrick moves in with Mere, kicking Izzie out on her judgmental ass. Izzie calls Burke, who (without mentioning anything to Cristina, of course) sells his current home and buys a new one big enough to accommodate all the interns he’d like to help. Cristina, finally fed up with his daddy complex, leaves him for Mark who immediately forgets about Addison, since once you’ve gone snarky Asian you never go back. But Burke also finds love, with someone who’s capable of real tenderness, vulnerability, and lots of oral sex, and the phrase “You’re my guy, O’Malley” takes on a whole new meaning. Meanwhile, Addison starts driving the trailer around the country, looking for the dog and aliens, and every week she meets new people and has another bizarre experience with the paranormal. This evolves into GA’s first spinoff, entitled “Route 666.”

This is my first post anywhere. I like this whole thread too much to just lurk anymore. JennRN, I think you're a fucking genius.

Thanks Baker. Glad I could be of service. Silliness is a great form of stress relief. (I never thought about the Alien twist...so many possibilities...!)

#33. Addison finally gets a high profile, VIP delivery. First child, simple vaginal delivery, and the healthy young woman plays for the WNBA. Addison is very pleased--there'll be great publicity, and that'll greatly increase her patient-base. How exciting!

The first-time mom is very nervous, and very tall! She's built very powerfully. Full of mothering hormones, though. So not intimidating to Addison. Delivery day comes, and the soon-to-be mom comes in to the hospital. Things are progressing quite nicely, and she reaches the transition stage. She was dilated to 7cm a few minutes ago, per the nurses, so Addison comes into the room to check the cervix. Addy uncovers our expectant mother and dons her sterile gloves. As Addy's checking her cervix, a wrenching contraction begins and the powerful WNBA star slams her knees together, HARD, crying out in pain. Wouldn't you know, the woman had such thigh/glute strength that Addy's neck, caught between the woman's knees, was crunched by the force! Spinal cord crushed, Addison died within a few minutes.

Her OB/GYN/Neonatology/Pediatric Surgery protege, Izzie, stepped around Addy's slumped-over body to "fly solo" and deliver a healthy baby girl. The happy couple named their new daughter "Karma".

#34 One rainy night in the trailer, Addison and Derek are lying together on their bed/couch. Derek has the remote, and is flipping through the channels, a bored listless expression on his face. Addison dreamily rests her head on his chest. But after about 30 minutes of channel-surfing, Addison gets a little irritated. "Derek, will you just make a choice already?!" He shot her a disgusted look, and continued flipping through the channels. "Ugh!" She grabbed the remote and tried to pull it away from him. Derek, pissed she found it so irritating and was willing to fight about his TV-watching habits, pulled back. They pulled back and forth on the remote until Addison accidentally hit the "Swap" button.

The next thing Addy new, she was sitting on a perfect 1950's sofa in a perfect 1950's living room, in BLACK and WHITE! Derek saw her on his television screen, horrified! "Oh my gosh. What happened?!" He thought about it for a moment. He flipped the channel. There she was again, standing (out-of-place) on the set of a cooking show. Flipped to the next--there she was, this time on the set of a news show. Again. Now she was on the set of the Drew Carey show. Again. Now she was in some movie about a hurting bitter, divorced woman moving to Italy. "Amazing," he thought. He flipped through some more. Bull-fighting, "Nah, too cruel." Law and Order: SVU, "Still too cruel" Some medical soap-opera where a cocky intern was ordering the wrong dose of a med and was about to kill someone, "Ironic, but nahhh."

And then he found it. Auto racing! Something he was drawn to more than life itself. Addison soon found herself standing in the middle of the Darlington Raceway, and about 10 cars were heading her way at ferocious speed. Derek covered his eyes, and it was soon over. She was gone--well, not actually gone because she was now smeared on the raceway. It was swift, though. And Addison didn't suffer. Derek grabbed a beer, watched the rest of the race, and slept soundly for the first time in almost a year.

#35 A new love interest is introduced onto the show. He's a rugged man, totally sexy and he lives out in the forest just like McDreamy. Addison and Meredith fight over him, each secretly trying to woo him. And it turns out that he prefers Addison.

Addison sneaks out and goes to his place. Turns out that he's a hot, sexy serial killer and Addison soon becomes one of his next victims.

#36 Pudgy but incredibly flattering husband of one of Addison’s patients gives her so many compliments that she feels compelled to go down on him in the elevator of love. But in groping blindly for the “stop” button she accidentally hits the “hurtle to your death” button instead.

#37 While drying her hair with a blowdryer, Doc got freaked out with the sound and trips Addison. The cord looped around her neck as Doc was desperately trying to leave the trailer, but he couldn't leave as the cord was looped around his hindleg. The harder Doc pulls the tighter the cord got. In the end, Addison strangled herself with her own cord. McD was out fishing and did not witness the incident.

OT but can I suggest ways to end a character in the show (and not just the non-triangle)? Or should there be a new thread for this?

lftwgr, if it involves Addison, bring it on. I'm pretty sure JennRN's rule says Meh and McD are always the last ones standing, so Addison automatically gets killed by default.

If it involves another triangle, I'm pretty sure we can revise the rules and add other triangles, quadrilaterals, pentagons, hexagons, heptagons, octagons, nonagons, decagons...

I'm in favour of adding other poygons. As of now, we have, Izzie/Alex/Denny, George/Meh/Torres, Mark/Addison/McD/Meh. If other people want to start killing other characters, I'm all for it. Just keep in mind, Meh and McD are always left standing.

#38 Addison misread Burke's pleasantries as the attention she's been craving for the longest time. So she flirts with Burke while working with him on a pregnant patient with an aorta aneurysm. An oblivious Burke finished his procedure and left Addison and Cristina to finish the c-section. That was the last time anybody saw Addison before they found her off Elliott Bay wearing concrete Jimmy Choos. According to unconfirmed reports, a redhead was seen talking to an Asian female near Duwamish Head at 2am the previous morning. Apparently the conversation got pretty heated, but the witness was schizophrenic so police dismissed his story.

(Note: I don't know about the geography of Seattle and am relying on Google Earth. Also, I'm not a doctor, so if it sounds odd, just take it with a pinch of salt.)

Ooh, lftwgr, I love it when Cristina kills Addison. And I like it a lot when Doc kills Addison, too, flux. In fact, it might be interesting to see just how many GA characters could kill Addison off –

#39 George finally has his romantic encounter with Dr. Torres, and is subsequently embarrassed to see the details described in the “Seattle Grace S&M” weekly newsletter, which he didn’t realize she published. Once again he’s chased into the stairwell by friends and coworkers who are trying to comfort him, and once again he stumbles on the stairs. Only this time he stumbles into Addison, who had been grabbing a moment alone with a very flattering vending machine guy. This has the unfortunate effect of killing Addison, who not only falls down the stairs but is also crushed under several boxes of Cheez-its. On the bright side, it does prevent further injuries for George, who’s not eager to get another “adjustment” from Dr. Torres.

Absolutely, bring on some action related to other triangles, polygons, whatever. Like flux reaffirmed, my only rule is that Mer/McD are left alive and well--free to walk Doc and enjoy liquor and Ferryboats forever!

Death to the polygons!

I could also change the name to, "To Writers, With Love: Bold Ways to End Painful Polygons and Lame Characters"

#40 Devastated by Derek's lack of attention to her new slightly different hair colour and matching lipstick, Addison wanders blindly weeping out of the hospital and a helicopter squashes her.

#41 In a desprete attempt to become friends with Meredith, Addison begins offering cups of juju everytime they meet. In a desprete attempt not to drink it, Mere accidentally spills some when she's throwing it in the garbage. Addison slips in the spilled cocoa and falls to the ground. The blow to her head makes Addison:

(pick one)

A) believe that she is actually Catherine Deneuve and run away to Hollywood.

B) believe that she is a poison oak plant and run away to live in the wildnerness

#42: Izzie was in love with Denny. Remember this as you read this tale of woe, wherein Izzy invites Alex for a drink. She wants to apologise, she says. She was wrong, she says. Have a drink, she says. The drink, however, left him unconscious, and brought a smile to Izzy's lips.

When he awoke, the poor intern was lying strapped to a bed, terrified, next to a sleeping Denny. Izzy was at the end of his bed, and told him her evil plan - to take his heart out, and give it to Denny, so they can live happily ever after!

And then she killed him, and started the operation (with a troup of medical students who didn't care about the illegality, as long as they got to touch scalpels). Miraculously, Denny survved, and with his new heart, he and Izzy had passionate sex.

But after, Izzy awoke to Denny standing at the door. He winked, and stepped outside. And then he was gone.

#43: One day, Derek awoke in his and Addison's nice new house, to the sound of Meredith waking up. He rolled over and smiled at her... and then looked up at the doorway, where Addison's world was falling apart. She disappeared from the doorway. He heard the front door slam, but just looked at Meredith, and you know what happened. Hours later, a pissed off Cristina called, demanding to know why McDreamy's wife was in bed with her boyfriend.

#44 Denny survives his heart transplant but shortly afterward dies from E. coli caused by a steak tartar ineptly prepared by Izzie for one of their hospital bedside picnics. As Denny’s body is rolled away, Addison unwisely reminds her, “If you remember, I tried to teach you with the quints not to get too involved with patients.” Izzie’s anger over this poorly timed remark combines with her intense grief and guilt over Denny’s death to somehow magnify and mutate her already awesome trailer park generated powers. Her body abruptly bulks up, her skin turns green, and with an inarticulate cry of rage she picks up Addison and tosses her through the window as if she were a baseball, with such force that her soaring silhouette disappears in the distance before ever touching the ground. Hospital security tries to restrain Izzie, but she bounds out of the window herself and can be seen taking huge leaps through the city until she disappears as well. Addison's body is never found but she's declared dead anyway, and Mer and Der happily reunite. Izzie goes on to become an itinerant surgeon, traveling from city to city to avoid the police, meeting new people who annoy her each week, and having to wrestle (usually unsuccessfully) with her rage and trailer park fueled powers. This turns into a GA spinoff, entitled "Dr. Isobel Stevens, She Hulk."

#45 Addison is eating a salad in the hospital cafeteria, sitting alone in a tucked-away corner. All of a sudden, the thought of Meredith remaining celibate comes to mind. She witchily begins laughing. Meredith! Celibate? Who'd EVER believe that?

Karma swiftly intervenes, and Addison begins to choke on a piece of cucumber that she'd been chewing on. She continues choking, and finally passes out. No one notices that Addison is now slumped unconscious on the cafe table. Her body is discovered by a janitor that evening.

Wow. These are mean.

#46 Meredith, distressed that she's been sucked back into the never ending vortex of misery with McDouche, get's blasted at Joe's, and picks up a guy. (Quelle surprise!) Her one night stand turns out to be a homicidal maniac and kills her post coitus.

Hey no fair changing the rules! This entry follows the original edict;


#47 Meredith and Derek are taking a walk one day, hand in hand along a beautiful mountain. Mt. St. Helen to be exact, and just as it did in 80 there was a huge and unforseen eruption. Meredith and Derek were instantly buried under tons of rock and ash, but ramained standing, hand in hand, for all eternity.

Addison was very sad that she really had to give up and move on from a relationship where she had invested all the time, effort, and emotion. Feeling amazingly free she definitely learned from her mistakes. After taking a year to just be her, she found an amazing young intern, who saw her beauty, was in awe of her abilities, and frequently made her smile. They lived very happily for very many years.

#48 Meredith and Derek are riding on the Elevator of Lust one day when all the cable snap. they are plumeted to the ground, where the force they've built up shoots them even further, in upright positions into the earth. Figuring a cover up was cheaper than anything else SGH covers them in concrete and never mentions it again.

Addison dances with flowers in her hair.

#49 Addison gets tired of being the only one in the marriage. She finds some one else.

Meredith and Derek are finally free to be together, and so they marry. It doesn't take Meredith long to realise why Addison cheated. It turns out that once Derek marries a girl she becomes all but invisible to him. Meredith gains 300 lbs. Derek never finds another chick to pull his crap on so they waste away slowly in the trailer.

#50 Addison and Meredith both simply wise up to the fact that a picture of McDouche is so much better than the real thing, and from that moment go on to live happy fulfilling lives. Derek stands around wondering WTF happened.



I actually think Derek should be the only one to die horribly and live alone, but that was against the rules. There's no excuse for him.

"For the next few weeks, McD came to work everyday wearing Doc's collar and a T-shirt saying "Me is a dummy" and sang 'I'm a little teapot' on a table every day at lunch."

That was great!

#51 Addison discovers Callie living in the basement of the hospital, and threatens to tell Chief Webber what a psycho she is if she doesn't move out. Callie agrees to move into the Mere-house-of-intern, but Meredith is not having it. Seeing a topless Callie once was more than enough. Callie shows up at the trailer demanding she be allowed to live there since thanks to Addison, she has nowhere to go. Addison is not there, but McDreamy hears her story and allows her to stay on the couch. The next morning, Addison returns home to see a naked Callie peeing in the trailer. Assuming the worst, she screams for Derek, and when he doesn't answer (he had an early surgery at the hospital) and as she searches the woods for her "guilty husband" she stumbles over a fallen log. No one cares enough to notice she missing for weeks, at which point they find her corpse. Meredith and Derek attend the funeral together, and then run off to Vegas to get married.

#52 Addison and Merideth wind up in the elevator of love together there a black out and they are stuck between floors. They begin talking realise they have more in common with eachother then they both had with Mcdreamy together. They realise the love they have shared for eachother and when the lift door finally opens they are caught kissing by Mcdreamy who runs off in a childish girly fit.

#53 As above but change Mcdreamy for Merideth and change Addison and Merideth for Mcdreamy and George