I have to thank Burnett and Trump for reversing the decline of my interest in this show. That was a photo finish, even without text flying in in microscopic font indicating why it was such a satisfying episode (God, I hope I never have to endure a PowerPoint presentation crafted by those two harpies).
Trump is staying to his words of wisdom to TA2's Ivana Tinkle – "You stripped, I'm not hiring a stripper." It was ludicrous that a
former adult entertainer once implicated in the murder of two lesbians was even up for consideration to be Trump's professional food-taster. While Toral was a runner-up to Omarosa as the most detestable prospective Apprentice (no small feat) , Alla was definitely this season's ratings stunt. I submit that she was the non-Trump plant; you mean to tell me that someone who tossed aside one stellar candidate for having limited formal education (TA1's Troy, who I still think kicks the caps out of Bobblehead Bill), and another for having too many degrees (TA2's Sweaty Kevin) would hand over one of his businesses to someone who traded in their pasties and g-strings for a Chanel suit?
TPTB had to finally put the kibosh on this improbability, a prospect was more unpalatable than the Chicken Parmesan with Meat Sauce that Trump was ostensibly going to pick up for Melania (by the way, that scene trumps the sexual education of Adam as the most surreal scene of the season). Hence, this episode amounted to little more than a white-collar witch hunt; Alla had been the most dynamic of the final four, more of a firebrand than Ran-dull, Chewbecca McCrutches, and FeraughtwithFoundationlishia.
Sure, she was the director of a sucky commercial that evoked images of cucumber porn and bodywash-soaked joggers from TA3. However, even more nauseating was Felishduh's passive-aggressive leadership. I half expected the editing wizards to splice in Alla's winning Lamborghini tagline "do you need permission?" in response to Felisha's namby-pamby "I'm gonna be a total hardass on this, if, um, you know, it's okay with you" bullshit. Felisha was definitely the weakest remaining player of the bunch, but her comparatively immaculate past put her way ahead of the Spa Queen.
Once the Don opened the doors, it was clear that he and Bobblehead were out to put the smackdown on Princess Stripikov's delusions of grandeur. In one way he contradicted his rationale for firing of Clay -- "you have to rely on history" – by handing the Déjà vu Diva her walking papers. In another way, he stayed true to this sentiment (focusing on her past), no matter how he tried to cloak it with his 'you are tough to manage' rhetoric. People have attested that Alla's past is not grounds for dismissing her from consideration, but I strongly disagree. The idea of a stripper leading a company is ludicrous (Larry Ellison may beg to differ), and we had to get past this in order to anoint the next overpaid lackey.
On that note, it's nice that they've returned some class to this show with the selection of the final two candidates. I hated Chewbecca's elitism and repeated fobbing off of responsibilities for her losses as PM (being celebrated on XM Café Channel 65: The Sounds of Tethno). However, now I see her as worthy heir to Kwame Jackson -- a well-spoken, professional candidate able to make it to the 'short strokes' (Markus we hardly knew ye) despite a craptastic record as PM.
And Randall, my God; education, charisma, achievement, family values, the ability to use the word 'illin' in a sentence after the year 1985 and still sound cool…what does brother not have??? The Don pretty much told us his pick with that tired tripe about family – Randall's reaction on seeing his wife was truly touching, especially when contrasted with half-ass 'Fuck -- everyone's going to see what a douchebag I've been doing, and think me less sexy and cool, but I gotta not look bitchy' hug Rebecca gave to her s.o., Mullet Von Hardon.
Randall and Rebecca treat each other with respect, in a manner unseen since that of Bill and Kwame from TA1. In the end it's going to go to Rebecca, because Randall is just too darn good and accomplished to follow in the footsteps of Bobblehead Bill (who used to be a cool guy), Kelly the Robot (whose ability to hide his disdain for his current station in life is fading fast), and Matthew Calimari (duh,…I don't like…duh…what was the question?). Rebecca, on the other hand is relatively green, and can benefit more from the soul-crushing, brainwashing, and separation from reality available within the morally and financially bankrupt kingdom of Trump. Go Becky!