At this point, all I want to see is a totally evol Lex, complete with the swishing hips and a guilt-ridden, pissed Clark.

How about a bizzaro world episode. I use to love it when Star Trek DS9 did these episodes. Lex would be the evil overlord that rules over a wasteland that use to be Smallville, Lionel could be the benevolent freedom fighter trying to stop his son and Chloe could be an evil henchwoman of Lex. I would love to see Chloe evil, like Vamp Willow evil.

I want Clark to express sorrow over the Drift, er, Rift. Not anger for once. Sadness and I'll take some guilt thrown in as well.

Hmmm, kinda carrying on with jayseyfield's suggestion, what about a Smallville version of the Buffy episode 'the Wish'? But instead of wishing Buffy never came to Sunnydale, we could see what would've happened if Clark was found in the cornfield by Lionel Luthor. Clex!brothers, Lionel's manipulation of Clark's powers over the years, and best of all...no Lana. Probably. (I can fanwank that Chloe still might feature in it if Lex had found out about the Torch via her dad as seen in Craving).

Or failing that...if there has to be a FotW episode, I want to see some past freaks back instead of constantly introducing new ones who only stick around for about 45 minutes.

I want a barn burning.

Preferably if Lana is in it at the time. I imagine she'd likely be in the loft pontificating about nuclear physics/the "glory days"/secreth and lieth/world peace.

Extra points if there's a Lifehouse or Maroon 5 song playing in the background. Or maybe a little James Blunt redux as the roof catches fire. "You're beautiful, you're beautiful, yes it's true."

OMG I laughed so hard I cried over that post!

Where is Ben Quick when you need him?


A cookie to anyone who gets that reference. :)

"Long Hot Summer" Paul Newman in the original film (Smoking Hot!), Don Johnson in the TV remake (smoking hot!)

Chocolate chip or Oatmeal, BadToad?

Good gravy, I loved those movies and the men in them! Both of 'em. Now that's HOT!!!

So hot. So, So Hot!

I'll take chocolate chip, please! :)

Coming right up! LOL!

Oh god, now I need to see The Long, Hot Summer again. Ben Quick is one of the sexiest characters Paul Newman ever played, and he's pretty much sexy in everything.

I need to see it now too! So very sexy! If Smallville had half of that chemistry they would need a disclaimer every week!

"Mr. Quick." Hmmmmm. Yummm.

I'd like to see Lana turn into Catwoman from Batman Returns. Just imagining Lana in her Catwoman costume going "I am Catwoman, hear me roar!" and backflipping out of there is making me giggle.

I want a finaly break-up scene! Please! As viewers, we're not supposed to be this confused over the MAIN character's romantic status.

I want to see Clark slap Lana out of pure annoyance, then grin without any remorse whatsoever.

Is that too much to ask?

I'm cruel. I want to see Lex blow up Martha and Lionel as they lay asleep in a sleazy motel room after having done the deed like Lionel blew up his parents. A plus is if Lana was nearby and a chunk of the motel room hit and pancaked her.

After watching JLU tonight, I want to see Bizzaro. And I want to see Lex use Bizarro's "hatred" of him and "friendship" with Clark to order Bizarro around and get Bizarro to beat the crap out of Clark. I just enjoy the crazy backwards talking.

I know this won't happen, but a final exclamation point to the rift...

Since it seems inevitable that we're going to get some sort of infected!bad!Clark between now and the finale, how about Lex taking advantage of bad!Clark, using him for his own gain. And then when the BDA comes to, we see the ultimate severing of ties.

I think we've all been waiting for it. That dramatic episode where two characters finally shed their so-called friendship and go down the path that makes them become mortal enemies.

[wait for it]

Yes my friends I want to see to finally see the rift between Chloe and Lana.

I want my annual Chlark kiss, damn it! I really think Clark's changing for the better now, and as much as I want Chloe to be completely over him and for her to move on, a teeny tiny part of me wants to see them get together, if only for a few episodes. AM and TW have awesome chemistry and it'd be a shame to see that go to waste on this show. (The Chloe/Clarkionel scene in Transference? Rrrowr!)

Plus, I'd like to see if Clark could really be a fun, happy guy; whether its the Clana that's making him the unwatchable character that he's been in the past few seasons. Back in S1, the Chlark was so genuine, it wasn't forced, and it was nice seeing happy!Clark being interested in things like prom and impressing Chloe, if only for one episode. *sigh*

Yes, I really do want my Chlark kiss of the season. :(

Chlark fark. They get kisses all the time. Give me a Clex kiss. Come ON! Lex is evil now, your hero is safe! Nobody will think any the less!

I fear it's part of the S5 writer's room mandate that all kisses must involve Lana.

I wish they'd revisit the body-swopping stone from "Transference" and have Chloe and Lex trade places this time. (Since when has SV minded repeating itself?) AM and MR would be brilliant playing each other; Chloe could have a field day rummaging through Luthorcorp and Lex could probe for Clark's secret. Clark would be very confused, which is always fun and in my wildest dreams, Chloe could use Lex's sexy purr to finally tell off Lana....good times.

suzycat, they owe us a Clex kiss. Not fair to cite Judas kisses and the Godfather and not ante up!

I would like to see Clark tell Lana everything,then i want to see him go to the (fos) and turn into superman and start over in metropolus.

I liked the way it seemed for awhile that Clark and Chloe were together in Lexmas. That was a natural beautiful thing. Less to twist and imagine vs the Lex and Lana married visage.

At the risk of earning your eternal scorn, I want to see Helen return only to have Lana (while possessed by Isabelle) personally kill her. Yes, I am very serious. *g*
Lex belongs to Clark; failing that, he belongs to Lana.

Lanobel: ME KEEL YOU!!!

Helen: Eep!!

*Lana does Lana-Fu*

*Helen dies*

*the purple fades from Lanobel's eyes*

Lana: That's what you get for trying to kill my man, bitch!!

Clark: Your man?

I'd prefer to see the opposite, Rosslyn and have Helen return from the dead to kick Pwincess's ass. Helen always struck me as superior to Lana because she
(a) kicked an orderly (b) was fully aware and somewhat ironic about Lex's obsession with Clark. (Whereas Lana is incapable of noticing anything that doesn't pertain directly to her.) and © had a bit of chemistry with the Magnificent Bastard (which is a quality I like in a girl!)

But if they ever bring back one of Lex's old girlfriends, I hope it's Desiree (SV's best kisser) or Carrie Castle (who out-manuevered The Sexy for almost an entire episode!)

I want Lana and Chloe to switch bodies but I want them to wear wigs of each other's hair so we know who is who. So Kristin would wear a short blond wig and Allison would wear a long haired brunette wig.

How `bout we have Lana switch places with Shelby?

Meanwhile, Lex could be using Chloe's sexy purr on Clark's supersensitive ears. Oh yes, they would each do their best to take full advantage of the situation... :D

Haha, I just pictured Chloe as Lex, diverting Luthorcorp funding from their Armaments Division to Greenpeace, and giving all his employees a Raise. "200 percent? Three..." (nods to Morrison's JLA: Earth 2)

It would be quite the game -- who could do the most damage in the least amount of time? How much would Clark give away about himself in the first Minute of conversation with this girl he thinks is Chloe?

Clark: I need your help, can you come with me to the Fortress?
Lex: Your barn?
Clark: The other one, up North...
Lex: Um, yeah, sure!
Boss: Sullivan!! Where do you think you're going, Sullivan?!? I want that public works story on my desk in 30 minutes!
Lex: ...
Clark: It's okay, it can wait. Call me later?
Lex: Yeah... :[

The concept lends itself to so much fun... What would you do if you woke up one morning as a member of the opposite sex AND in the body of a nemesis? It's been done a number of times, but it's still a great trip.

Particularly if you have characters like Lex and Chloe and actors like MR and AM to pull it off.

And who doesn't want to see MR blink his baby blues and talk at the speed of light while AM looks everyone up and down and swishes her hips whenever she walks?

That would be very confusing. So if Chloe is looking at Clark intensley is that a sweet Chlark moment or a Gayle?

I'd love to see Lex in Chloe's body.

Lex: *acting very feminine* Clark it's me Chloe.

Clark: Lex your pathetic.

Lex: Clark remember when we were in the hopital in the Yukon and you finally told me your secret? *in tears* or how when you told me I should finally visit my mother?

Clark: Oh my god, Chloe!

(meanwhile......)

*Lex in Chloe's body is checking herself out in the mirror*

Chloe: I could get use to this. *on the phone* Yes I'd like to transfer 100 million dollars to the Sullivan account. What?! That's impossible! Dad changed the passwords!!!!

Lana: Hey Chloe.

Chloe: Lana......

*Chloe hugs Lana*

I am liking this idea more and more....I really wish they'd do it.

Durq - I've only caught up on Helen over the past couple of days via DVD. But she bugged the hell out of me. She was so smug about Lex's affection which alone would make me hate her. It was if she was doing him a favour by marrying him. Uh, hello, young, handsome, brilliant billionaire here! And, of course, the attempt on his life put the nail in the coffin. Lana would not take him for granted nor treat him poorly. I am more interested in him being loved than putting together the most charismatic young (het) couple, i.e. probably Lex/Chloe. However, Chloe has not been permitted to like Lex lately for some reason. (Helen did have a fair amount of chemistry with the MB. I've also been shocked at how much chemistry Chloe had with the MB. I could see them working, despite the huge age difference. She so gets him).

Here's a new wish (if a commonplace one): once Clark/Lana is over, I want to see Clark/Chloe. I just saw "Rush" last night and very much dug the make-out scenes between bad girl Chloe and RedK!Clark.

Chlex. Chlexity Chlex Chlex Chlex.

Sorry. Just got done with a season three marathon, and the fact that they DIDN'T go for Chlex is fucking criminal. ::snarl::

I wouldn't mind seeing Chlois, but I'd really, really adore it to tiny bits and pieces if Chloe took a turn for the dark and wound up acting as Mercy Graves. Come on. Chloe as Lex's closest confidant and protector? Chloe running LuthorCorp in Lex's absence? Implications that Chloe and Lex are knocking boots in the boardroom? How would that NOT rule?

Rosslyn, while we're in total agreement that Lex deserves some lovin' (I want an episode where he's petted and fed cookies) Lana is not the person to provide this. Lana's "love" is always self-directed, self-motivated and ultimately corrosive to anything in its path:

- Neediness: Lana is so deeply insecure (and so poorly written!) that she always has to have a boyfriend. This has led to some pretty unsavoury behaviour on her part. Cruising Clark at Whitney's father's funeral! Accepting dates & gifts from other boys (Clark, Byron) while poor Whitney's still off at war! Planning to break up with him by videotape! Mourning him for, oh, ten minutes, before being totally willing to take up with Clark again!

-Hypocrisy: Not to mention her current juggling of Clark and Lex - she clearly has Lex ready on the back burner for when the final break-up with Clark happens, which is completely disgusting given all the horrible things she's said about Lex in the past. And she has no right to carp about Clark having secrets, when she's covering up a murder!

-Self-Absorption: Lana scenes are always About Lana (which is why they're the Smallville equivalent of driving with the parking brake on.) She rarely asks other characters questions about how they're doing because She. Does. Not Care. This is why any guy in a scene with her (whether it's Clark, Lex, Jason, Adam or Whitney) instantly loses his individuality and becomes Generic Lana Guy. (I didn't think it was possible to make Lex boring but she manages it.)

-Self-Absorption, part 2: Here's just one example of her staggering narcissicism. In "Jitters", Lex saves Lana's entire school class; In "Kinetic", he saves Whitney and Clark. At the end of S3, he saves Chloe and her father. In "Scare", he saves the entire town. So when does Lana decide he's worthy of her friendship? Not until "Lockdown", when he saves Her. Just Her - because those other rescues didn't count. Bitch.

-Freeloader: When Lois stayed with the Kents at least she tried to help out around the farm and has showed them nothing but loyalty. Lana has been on the receiving end of vast amounts of Lex's generosity (Talon, France, living in Talon apartment rent free) and has never attempted to pay him back for any of it or even displayed much in the way of gratitude. (Clark freeloads off Lex too but at least he's saved his life a bajillion times by way of payback.)

To conclude: Lana is a parasite incapable of love and my most impassioned wish is for one of the characters to finally call her on it and Tell Her Off.

maggiesox, I never thought of Chloe as Mercy but now you mention it...cool. I love me some KickButt!Chloe. And KickButt!Chloe + Lex = Rrowwrr.

Durq-

Given that both Mercy and Chloe were new characters for their respective series that were later integrated into DC Canon, it fits.

Plus, I want my Chlex. And I want my kickass Chloe. In Season 3, I really, really thought they were going that direction. But nooooooooooo.

I wouldn't mind Chloe turning evil like Nina Meyers from 24. The season 5 finale could be Chloe killing Lana and Clark going "NOOOOO!!"

I've taken up watching "Dancing with the Stars" to replace Smallville, which is working okay, but now I wish I could see Chloe and Lex dance a really intense tango. MR seems to dance well and I think I've read that AM has dance training so I could see them pulling one off very well. Part of it I'm sure stems from seeing Becky's "Confession" Chlex video with scenes of them intercut with a tango scene from "Moulin Rouge." It's the only fan video I've ever downloaded, but it was so highly recommended that I had to see what the fuss was about. And boy, did it merit the praise. http://tired-eye.net/videos/confession.php But, I'm sure seeing MR and AM actually doing the tango would be even better.



maggiesox - I got sucked into Smallville b/c of Chlex in reruns on ABC Family. I share your frustration that they never did Chlex. I was *sure* that they were setting it up and I felt I had to get the DVDs and start watching bc Chlex was combustible. I thought what tv producer wouldn't take advantage of that kind of intense chemistry? It's another one of those mysteries like why Chloe has never had a date and why every guy Lana dates has to die.

I'm still learning about the characters, of course. Buf if she is juggling the two, I really don't think that she is consciously aware of this. And she seems to be the only one pretty firmly on Lex's side now.

If someone were to call Lana on her two-timing ways, fickleness, and blatant hypocrisy, I would be back watching this show. For a little while, at least. I'd still have issues with a Lex who has the brain power of a doorknob and everyone forgetting that Lionel is the devil, but it would be sweet for someone to finally call Lana out. And that someone should be a 'good' character so their criticisms can't be dismissed as 'oh s/he's jus jellus!' or the ravings of a psycho.

If that actually happens, Cyb it would be a pay-off finally, FINALLY, for five years of barf-inducing Lana worship. (And I want you back watching the show for my own selfish reasons because I always enjoy your comments :)



The two recent juggling instances that come to my mind are in "Reckoning" and "Tomb". In "Reckoning" (2nd timeline), she's pissed with Clark and leaves Jonathan's party to meet Drunk Lex. Now, Lana can see he's drunk and knows he likes her. So what does she say? "I was looking for an excuse to leave the party". Then she goes on to talk about how she and Clark have "had their last fight." I don't know a single female from my 14 year old neighbour to my 80-something Grandma who wouldn't consider that to be leading Lex, especially Drunk!Lex, on. If she wants to complain about Clark, that's what girlfriends are for. Going to see Lex was her way of lining up a Reserve!Man which Lana always has to have.

In "Tomb", instead of standing vigil with Clark by her "best friend's" bed, she goes to Lex in what seems to be more of a test of his affections for her, than anything to do with Chloe's welfare. She doesn't ask Chloe if she wants to go to Belle Reve. Even if Chloe's Dad isn't around, she could have at least consulted Lois as Chloe's closest available relative. And implying that Clark's behaviour somehow drove her to Lex is passive-aggressive bitchery of the highest calibre.

Now, if they segue her into outright villainy, I'd be all for that! I could even (maybe) handle Lexana if the two of them are "wallowing in their own crapulence."

(Rosslyn, we may have to agree to disagree on Lexana but I'm right there with you on the excellence of "Rush"! Love RedK!Clark and Naughty!Chloe.)

Word to the nth.


Lana is the pretty pink princess of Passive-Agressiva. Thank you for that beautifully enumerated illustration of Lana's self-absorbtion.

That vid is awesome Massena1!

Count me in among those who want to see Chloe and Lex bodyswap. And Chloe becoming Mercy? That. Would. Rock. I can totally see her in that role.

ETA: if someone called Lana on her shit I would watch that one scene repeatedly for a week. Ditto if we ever got a Clex kiss.

I have to say, that I want that too. I also want:

1) to know what would have happened between the two, if the storyline at the end of season 3 was remembered
2) A proper reason behind Chloe no longer trusting Lex, there had to be some there for her to put her life into his hands.
3) What happened on the flight back to Smallville, how he was able to find her to easily
4) Why Lex easily backed off, when Chloe threatened to start asking her own questions. I want something to happen here, Lex is supposed to be "evil"and yet he backs away from Chloe when she starts handing out the threats
5) And I want some sort of ending between these two, they've up about three storylines between these two and not one of them has an ending.
6) A kiss, maybe some proper interaction wouldn't go amiss either

What about some sort of Chloe-split-by-Black-K story? Where one Chloe becomes Lois and the other Mercy Graves? They could capitalize on the Chlex chemistry and pay off the Chlois theory. I think I've just fallen in love with my own idea.

Also would love to see the idea of Chloe and Lex switch bodies, that would be a million types of cool.

Man, you're not the only one that just fell in love with your idea. That? Would rule.

Why stop at splitting her in two? Divide her into three and you can make her into Supergirl, too.

Loeb's already split Supergirl in two, so I don't really think we need a thrid Supergirl. Or a fourth, if you count Power Girl.