Markus: You are KILLING me, homes.

At the second boardroom, did anyone else feel like they were at a sorority rush meeting?

With deepest apologies to my husband, I'd like to proclaim my undying love to the music editor on this show. The lovely little French horn riffs whenever Markus babbled at Mr. Trump... ah, bliss.

Aw, gosh, poor Melissa. "Everybody's intimidated by me because I'm so beautiful and smart and wonderful and birds trill whenever I strut by and my voice is ever so dulcet and my poop doesn't stink." It's Audrey all over again, only without the unique vocabulary that made her such a wonderful asset to the TWOP forum.

I'm already picking Josh as the one to take over for Bren next year as Yahoo's recapper/Snarkmeister.

is it me or does Kristi look like Kristen Bell aka Veronica Mars?

Wow. Good firing because one more show of Melissa and I was going to have to kill her. Cause I'm jealous of her beauty, you know.

What kind of moron says "I can't work with women"? With Carolyn in the room! And she tried to back track but it's obvious she meant it.

I felt bad for Markus because they did push him into the PM spot but eh, he talked way too much.

The women team sucks. And what's the name of the tiny guy.

IMO Kristi was a bad PM (don't know how she "got under" Melissa's skin) but I loved that she only brought Melissa in.

Hee, he made them run. Loved that.

I have a major problem with Trump saying that the girls' PM did terrible. They lost by 11 dollars. If they got stomped then I'd agree but with the popularity of strip aerobics, the XXX on the flier isn't that horrid. 11 dollars is not an ass kicking and therefore I don't feel he should tread all over the girl. Not with the byotch Melissa there. Stomp on her...it'd do her face some good.

Melissa = batshit crazy, delusional.

It’s interesting enough for the first show. Better than Season 2 start, I think. (I didn’t realize how much I missed the opening song).

Apprenti:

Markus? Asshat. Even before he talked Trump’s ear off. And then hung up on him. (Hee! Sars, glad I wasn’t the only one who couldn't stand him)

Melissa? XX asshat. Kristi was a dumbass to put the XXX on the flyer, but smart enough to only bring Melissa in the boardroom with her. Great strategy.

The look on Caroline’s face! when Melissa said women were intimidated by her because “I’m beautiful and smart.” Unbelievable. She took the rope, stuck her head through, wrapped the other end around the light fixture. Got on the chair. And stepped off.

Having these people learned? When you’re in the boardroom and the other guy is in the hot seat. Shut. The Fuck. Up.

By the way, who was FloJo? She looked pretty good running flat out.

Trump and the Consiglieres:

Trumpy, thank you, for sending Randal home in a helicopter, even if it was just for TV, though I don’t think so. He’s generally sensitive to genuine family issues.

Friars Club as a reward? Blech. What was second choice, Papaya King?

Was Carolyn’s hair blonder? She looked good.

And finally, who do we think The D is going to have a crush on this season?

Fastest way to get your ass handed to you on a stick? Say "Me and Mr. Trump are kindred spirits". Silly Markus, you're so toasted.

Here's an idea, Donald, maybe if you didn't cast similar looking attractive people every season you could tell them apart.
Randal reminds me of a cartoon character, it's been driving me nuts for two weeks because I can't remember the character's name. Felisha looks like Molly Stanton in 7 years (Passions and Twins).

What a horrible flyer, but it isn't as horrible as Caroline's fluffy hair.

Melissa is deluded. You can't pull that "they're intimidated by me" crap in a corporate setting. That barely works in Junior High when you're explaining to your Mom why you got in a fight in gym class and landed in detention.

It's going to be almost impossible to keep all of the "Apprentices" straight between Martha's show and Donald's. There were several people in the boardroom I hadn't even remembered seeing previously - including the first guy to vote for Markus' exemption.

Decent premiere - I liked the humorous background music. Stand-outs: Randal and Josh ("the beauty supply/store owner").

Have these people not learned the first rule of the Apprentice?

No using anything remotely sexual to sell! Bad! Bad! Especially in front of Carolyn.

That said, Damn! Carolyn is one sexy woman!

Wow, Trump must have a thing for Southern women. It seems like quite a few of them had a twangy accent.

I love the editors for the music they played when Markus was talking...it was the music equivalent of "This guy's a tool." He'll hopefully be gone soon...I'm not sure I can take much more "Gee, Mr. Trump, I mean, the thing is, I stepped up, and we're, I tell you, so happy to be here..."

And why is it that when people like Melissa say, "I don't work well with women; they're intimidated by me," they always assume it's the rest of the world and not them? Way to not learn from it. Good riddance.

Kristi showed some poor judgement, but poor judgement can be corrected. Being an all-out whining, pissing, moaning, beeyotch? Not likely to change. A good firing.

The opening footrace? HIGH-larious. Ties flapping in the wind! Barefoot tromping through grass! Golf cart races! Wheee!

Oh, yeah. Carolyn's going to be in charge! I am SO looking forward to that.

Which male apprentice was the super short one? Those group shots with him killed me.

Markus: when Trump remarks more than once about how much you talk, it just might be time to shuttie.

Thank Jebus that Trump didn't follow his typical "fire the PM" modus operandi and instead fired the thoroughly obnoxious Melissa. The other candidates are jealous of you? I don't think so, chica.

What's-his-name who quoted Stuart Smalley was funny.