Well he certainly isn't!

A very, very, short future ...

I caught the episode where Bridget's sister Anastasia got a makeover for the Midsummer Night's Dream party. I thought she looked really nice before the makeover--maybe she needed new hair, but that was it--and like every other run-of-the-mill blonde chick in the mansion afterward. That's not to say that she wasn't pretty, but I didn't like how everyone kept talking about how much she needed the makeover and so forth. I hated that being around Bridget and the other girls made her feel "frumpy." Anyone else have any thoughts on that?

And Kendra not knowing what Midsummer Night's Dream meant was beyond hilarious.

I hope he's got some sperm frozen somewhere, but sperm quality deteriorates over time and can cause genetic defects in the offspring.

After much technical difficulty, my first post.................OK, what I have been dying to say forever, after much reading of hilarious posts...........WHY does Kendra have the world's ugliest bathing suits? I think she has a great body, despite being "slightly" plastic, and if I had her body, I would own like every cute bikini under the sun. But her? I have only seen her in that yellow number she wore in the Vegas epi and her b'day epi - is it the same one? Canary yellow looks good on almost noone, including her and the style - unflattering! It reminds me of those bathing suits you see in gift shops in cheesy beach resort towns. I have seen much cuter bikinis at Target. OK, I feel better now, thanks!

So, an octogenarian goes to his doctor and tells him "Doc, congratulations are in order. My 20 year-old girlfriend is pregnant!" The doctor says: "there was a man who went hunting for bears. He was in the bushes, and saw the biggest bear approach. He pointed his rifle, and suddenly, a loud BANG came off and the bear fell over, dead. When he examined his rifle, he saw that the lock was set and the bullets where still in the chamber. Imagine that!" The old man says: "well, somebody else must have shot", and the doctor goes "EXACTLY!!!"

Take the hint, Hef?

If they really are going to have this baby can we brainstorm some possible baby names?

Let's see, Hugh is Puffin, she's considered one of his muffins, so maybe the baby will be pluffin?

I think Holly is SO snotty. It blows my mind. The way she behaved in the first season photoshoot episode was horrible. Her irritation about having to reshoot the shower scene because Bridget was at school made her look like a total biotch.

I noticed that too. Can you imagine if it happened to her? I can see her begging Heffy to reschedule it all for her. I hope the other two girls go on to bigger and better things when the fame for the GND wears down and Hef ditches her ass. Other than that ...

I saw the episode where Bridget's sister got the makeover. Personally for me I think something like that would be fun and she did'nt have to pay for a thing.

I'm sure Holly will name it after a character in CASABLANCA or some old-timey Hollywood name.

That would require actual thought and concentrating during the movie. Have you noticed her discussing Casablanca? She doesn't get the plot.

She'll just name the kid Casablanca Mealticket Hefner.

Heh. I caught the Hef's Birthday/Casa Blanca Night eps yesterday afternoon. I am *STILL* grossed out by the one girl practicing her striptease in a cake routine in front of her parents!

In the begning of the second ep, was there a transvestite getting dressed with the Bunnies? I thought I saw a glimpse of the backside of what appeared to be a man with a shaved head wearing a see-thru nelige.

Saw Midsummer's Night epi - Bridget's sister seems like a nice kid. Come to think of it, Bridget seems nice, too - deluded, but nice. The only thing, her comments that her sister never feels "blond enough"? I wonder if these girls view everyone else in the world not associated with Playboy as not blond enough? Scary.

I don't really recall the yellow bikini, except that everything looks whorish on her giant fake boobs. What I can't get past are the tie-dyed, skin-tight, light blue shorts that she wears every other episode.

sorry, double post

sorry again

Aw, I thought she looked cute after the makeover (in fact, much prettier than any of the girlfriends). It isn't like the look was going to be an everyday thing for her-- she was just dressing and having the hair and make-up like that for the Midsummer Night's Dream party, which is was appropriate for. It probably made her feel good to see that with a bit of make-up and some hair extensions, she can look like a Playmate... not that anyone thought their beauty was natural. I think a makeover like that would be really fun. The only creepy part to me was her mother crying with happiness over her daughter being tarted up. WTF?

How old is Anastasia supposed to be? I mean Bridget is in her 30s ...

Last night I watched the Halloween show. At one point Bridget was talking about sensing something in her room the night before. Hef made a joke about being sure it wasn't him. Do Bridget and Kendra sleep with Hef also? What do they do, take turns?

I'm sure Holly kicks all the girls out of the room before there is even enough time for the baby oil to stain the sheets.

If they actually have sex with the old creep in the first place.

Read Jill Ann Spaulding's free online book, "Hefnerland," and you'll never want to ask such questions again. Ever.

LMAO!

In my opinion, Holly is the only one that is worth anything. Anyone else notice the major crows feet on Kendra's eyes? She's young as hell and is aging super fast. She'll be riden hard and put away wet with in a few years, same with Brdgette.

I hate the phrase "ridden hard and put away wet." It's so vulgar. I think Kendra is the only one of the three who can look stunning in the glorified Playboy way when all made up. Bridget is naturally cute, but without the extensive grooming would just look like a 30 year old Anastasia. Holly carries herself well, and looks pretty after multiple surgeries, but I get the feeling she just doesn't do it looks-wise for Hef. I think he appreciates her doting and the effort she makes to be 110% all about him, and is rewarding her with a few crumbs in the press.
What I think is remarkable is how much less guarded Holly and Bridget were in the first season. Holly's disdain for the other two (especially 18 year old stripper Kendra who made zero effort to become a GF, and just was one day) is blatant, and Bridget openly spoke about trying to get Playmate hopefuls drunk so that they would look bad the next day! It's obvious they had some media training between seasons. Now Holly is the magnanimous, classy mother hen in cashmere and pearls (long gone are the clip in hot pink extensions of Season 1) and Bridget is the zany, giggly Pollyanna in pigtails and pink.

Does anybody know where to find this book?

I just watched the Midsummer's Night party and the editor who interspaced the shots of Anastasia's waxing with Gizmo the cat getting shaved diserves some sort of award cause that had me rolling on the floor. I feel so bad for the poor guy who had to stick around and shoot footage of a cat at the groomer. I think Anastasia did look cute after her makeover (much nicer than some of those painted girls) but it helps that they had good raw material.

Here

Awesome, thanks michaeldh8!

There was a blurb from her book posted on another site a few weeks back (sorry, can't recall the web addy) but it provides somewhat graphic detail on the weekly bedroom romps of Hef & the various women who get paraded up there. If it's accurate, I'm surprised that[i] many women over the years have kept quiet about the details. That said, Hef is never portrayed as some touchy-feely perverted old man on the show. However, the book snippet I read certainly paints him as being a very controlling skeevy dude with certain predilections of the pervy variety.

And their lives (regardless of how "E" tries to sugarcoat it) aren't vulgar? I think it applies.....except I think the phrasing "rode hard and put up wet" is more graphic and fitting.

How's it vulgar? Doesn't it originate from horses?

One of my favorite eps is the Anastasia makeover. I like the ep where Barbi Benton comes to the mansion and is rude to Holly, too--BB was a bitch!

Ha! I love it. Very real possibility given the complete userness of all concerned with this farce.
Combined with a ratings grab by Wrinklebums?

Beat me to it! It is an equestrian term, and horses do indeed look horrible if they are ridden hard and put away wet--or overheated and sweaty, as horses become when they are ridden hard.

My mama says it, and she hardly even says "damn", the phrase is euphemistic enough to be considered rather tame...

It does come from horses; you are supposed to groom your horse after riding, because otherwise their coats are wet and mussed, especially where the saddle blanket rubbed. Plus makes the horse much happier, at least it did mine!
I don't know why I find it vulgar, I just always have when used to describe the way a woman looks.

Does anybody know if there has been any reaction to Jill Ann Spaulding's book? Has anyone denied anything about it? I'm about halfway through it...the more graphic parts are REALLY hard to get through. Ew ew ew ew ew ew EW! It's hard to tell how honest she's being...so far I can't detect any reason she might have for lying, but then again, something about her seems really off. Interesting observations about Bridget and Holly, though...how apparently Bridget started off as a hooker, basically, only being invited to the mansion for 'sex nights' (ew ew ew ew ew ew EW.)

Well,there are a lot of the same stories in Izabellas book. You can draw your conclusions there. But also a lot of things that are different-I do not recall Izabellas book having the same movie viewing during the orgies.

Just a random observation, but was flipping thru some pics in Jill Ann's book and it occurred to me - none of Hef's girlfriends, at least the ones pictured in her book, are not particularly attractive, in my opinion. I mean, some of them may be considered cute, but it is the way they style themselves that makes them look like such piles of white trash - the hair, the makeup and don't get me started on the outfits, not to mention the tons of plastic surgery some of them have had! Holly, Bridget and Kendra all have something about them that is attractive, but looking at the "before" pics of Holly and Bridget in the book, they have come a long way in the past few years, largely in part due to lots of help from the producers of the show, I would imagine.

I also have found that some of the girls that have been shown on the show as girls trying out to be in playboy or who are already playmates are attractive, in my opinion. So the questions are:

1) Does he have a different beauty/attractiveness criteria for the girls in the magaine than he does for girlfriends (although Barbi Benton was both GF and a playmate and was beautiful in my opinion, so maybe she is the exception)?

2) Has his taste gotten trashier as he has gotten older?

3) Does he go for slightly less than attractive women as girlfiends because he knows that looks-wise, they will never make it into the magazine and therefore, he does not have to feel used by them. They will also not be in a big hurry to bolt out the door once they did get into the magazine?

4) Why do I care about any of this?!?

I have also noticed the minimal attractiveness of 99.99 of his bed Hoes and agree with you that the Producers of GND make the Three Bimbos look as good as they can.
Seeing them on one of those no makeup/makeup before and after shots would be most telling.

The deal to me is, one has to have seriously low self esteem to even consider swapping DNA with the CryptKeeper, let alone go thru with it. While looks are not everything, most truly beautiful girls/women do not have to try so hard as to stoop to Hefnar.

I don't think he can get a truly beautiful women and the proof is in the pudding.
Same with the parties. While I have never been to one and never will, from the looks of the photos the attendies look okay, but i don't see any true beauties.

It's like a skankified-sold out low self esteem look is a requirement.

And we have a winner!!!!

The less attractive girls become girlfriends because the knows they'll do anything to get into Playboy and they're less likely to leave him for bigger and better.

One thing that makes me laugh in the e-book: the faking of girl-on-girl oral sex. WTH. Do you just stick your head down there and pretend?

Also, how exactly is this accomplished, since you leave your bottoms on if you're not going to be participating in the sex? That part really cracked me up. I guess in addition to being half deaf, Hef must be half-blind. Which may account for his taste in women dramatically declining in his old age.

To start with, the pool of girls who would even consider "being" with him is going to be limited to girls with Daddy issues. On top of that, consider the very pretty young girls can have pretty much any man they want, and there are a lot of bigger fish in the sea than Hef, financially and otherwise. If a young lady is going to be with a man for his money, your average 40-something executive is going to be bringing in more dough than Hef.

The "prestige" of being in Playboy is dubious at best, especially with girls like Jenna Jameson blazing the porn trail and being highly, and visibly, successful without needing Hef to guide them. Career-wise, coming up through Playboy is going to limit what an actress can do. Pamela Anderson ain't going to be winning any Oscars anytime soon, and she's (arguably) the biggest star Playboy has ever "discovered."

So, after you eliminate the mercenary types who would be with Hef for financial reason, and the ones who want to use Hef for career exposure, that leaves a small pool. Mostly filled with young women who grew up in such poverty that even Hef's moderate lifestyle seems extravagent, and girls who are too dumb to know better (KENDRA!!!!), all seeking a Daddy (or great-granddaddy, as the case may be) to make up for the one they had, or didn't have, growing up.

I read some of Jill Ann's book on line and ......I just have no words. I honestly thought the girlfriends were just for show. Also the girls parents seem to be so proud that their daughter are affiliated with PB, I wonder if they read the book?

I finished Jill Ann's book last night, and honestly, I was a little disappointed. Yes, it had some juicy bits (ew), but mostly it was just a list of the parties she went to and the people she saw there. I didn't know who she was, and I guess I assumed she had actually been a girlfriend and was going to give more of an account of her time at the mansion.

Yes, I agree. I haven't had the time to quite finish it yet, but I find myself skipping over big chunks of it (especially when she natters on endlessly about poker.) I think the above poster was right when he/she said that the grammatical and spelling errors are really distracting.

I would have liked to see more about her time at the mansion (even though it was only, what, four and a half days?), more of the dynamic between the girlfriends, etc. That's only a very small portion of the book, though; most of it is, as aforementioned, the parties she goes to and her own obsession with getting into Playboy and what an awesome poker player she is and what an awesome person she is and how amazing her body looks. Zzzzz.

I'm in the middle of Izabella's book right now, and I'm just getting to the part where she moves into the mansion. It's not amazing (the spelling and editing are horrible), but there's some pretty good gossip in there, if anything.

I can't wait until I get to the naughty stuff! Hee! and Ew.

I doubt Barbi had much choice with the hair. The greys probably took over and dying it back to her original dark color probably wouldn't look believable, at the very least it would be a bitch to maintain.

Though somewhat bitchy, I thought her reminiscences were hilarious. She didn't just visit the outside of the old Chicago Manison after it had been sold off, she lived there with him while it was in full swing. Not only did she live in the Beverly Hills Mansion, she found it for Hef. Not only was she Hef's girlfriend, she wasn't putting up with sharing him. When they went to a boxing match... it was the legendary Ali vs. Frasier fight at Madison Square Garden. She also went on to have something of a career of her own outside of Playboy (If The Love Boat, Fantasy Island, and one single on the Billboard Country Chart count) plus she married another guy with deep pockets. The girls really had no choice but to sit tight and shut up until she left.

For once, I didn't notice the grammatical errors. I was too busy counting the number of times she mentioned having been in law school or being treated with more respect by Hef and the Playboy staff for her "intellectualism" and "sophistication".

It was like Dawn and Stacey from The Babysitters Club mated.

Hey! I loved me some Ann M. Martin! And yes, Stacey was totally my fave.

Ha! That is honestly the best simile I have ever heard.