Uh, isn't that how prostitutes and drug mules are recruited?

I saw the baby shower episode last night. Hokey smokes!

I just love how that one girl's cat is always screaming and howling and hissing at her. Good kitty! I have to admit I have never heard of a vet making a house call for a cat before, nor have I heard of stuffing a cat into a pouch to subue it either. Sadly enough, I was a bit worried for Gizzy when the bimbo began stuffing him into what appeared to be a large purse and appeared to be in serious danger of sufficating to death!

Concerning the baby shower, Kendra's inane comments and musings prompted me to yell "STFU!" several times at the TV. And then that comment about wanting a baby of her own? Ugh. BTW, way to wrap those lame gifts in a dirty old Chrismas bag you found in the back of a storeroom, twit. Was that REALLY the wife-abuser who walked in at the end of the shower? Jonathon's had MASSIVE discount plastic surgery and it shows!

Wow...so I finally broke down and read Jill An's ebook---thanks to whoever first posted it here! Fascinating drivel indeed...and to be honest, it's not nearly as poorly-written as I had originally expected. I mean, at least the gal is brutally honest and spares no details.
In fact, she actually does seem like a nice, if not shamelessly desperate gal...I find her naivety and desperation almost a bit endearing.
Some of the highlights concerning Holly and Bridget and official girlfriends I've learned thanks to Jill Ann include:

-Bridget is a genuinely sweet gal who comes from a trailer park trash/Vegas stripper(or a callgirl?) past and who supposedly still has/had a boyfriend. Hef met her at a party and kept her in a nice LA apartment for a while before she moved into the mansion. And originally, she was a gal who strictly was invited to the mansion just for the sexcapades---she and Holly were the only ones who would have sex with Hef on the "off nights." Sadly enough, some of the official girlfriends referred to her as several of the "disgusting" girls and were afraid of what she may have possibly had.

-Holly is a phoney bitch who apparently truly is in love with Hef. She prepares his room for the sex nights, and takes care of baby oil duty on Puffin's duffin. She starts the group sex with him and then ends the group sex with him, usually anally. And she would get visibly bothered watching him enjoy the other gals during the group sexcapades, even though she was forced to stroke a strap on and act excited by it while Hef had his turns with the other gals.

-Hef has trouble hearing out of one ear and gets very upset if anyone tries to help him get up, as he doesn't want to appear weak and old to the other gals. He doesn't let the other gals talk to anyone or go outside the VIP area or even go to the bathroom alone on the club nights out on the town either. And official girlfriends aren't allowed to hang out with celebs and leave his table during parties!((which is surprising, considering Kendra seems to go where she likes during the parties))
Also, he has a suspicious-looking wart right down you-know-where...

-The grotto isn't quite the happening place of orgies it supposedly is! And there are secret cameras in many of the bedrooms to spy on the girls, as creepy as that sounds.
Wednesday and Friday nights are Hef's official sex nights upstairs, before Hef gives them all special pills to "relax". The gals who don't want to participate wear their panties and play with each other/sex toys, while Hef lays in the middle of his bed and the girls take their turns doing whatever to him.
Hef's bedroom floors are sticky and the room reeks of urine because Holly lets her dogs do their business up there((and Hef too?)).

-Hef's girlfriends are indeed not as pretty as Playmates and not allowed to be Playmates due to all his prior girlfriends leaving him once they got to be Playmates.

-The jello shot-serving painted girls at the parties((which Kendra used to be)) work very hard for their $400 they get for the nightly gig. Also, some of them are actually taped shut down there if they, uh, hang down too low past the paint...


So those are the main things I've learned, even though a few of those were posted here already. I wonder how much has changed since Hef's reached 80's and he only has three official girls now? I also wonder how many unofficial girlfriends service him on sex nights, as Jill Ann says there were always plenty of girls "auditioning" to be girlfriends up there for the fun.

Puffin's duffin ~ he! sunbun, you managed to capture the highlights perfectly.

LMFAO @ Puffins duffin! Oh that gave me a good morning laugh, thanks!

Isn't that interesting! So why do Scott Bao and Bill Maher do there besides gawk and coke?

Because they can always get lucky and land a girlfriend wannabe.

And for the free booze!

Thanks for the recap of JillAnn's book. Now I must somehow try to erase the picture that you painted for me!

Sad that Holly and the rest of the girls would not use protection against whatever deseases Hef may have/had. YUCK. They must value the money more than protectiong themselves against STD's.

The book is indeed an eye-opener...Jill Ann does believe that Bridget is married still, for instance. And she even includes a pic of her and Holly's boyfriend she dumped for Hef---the dude says Holly totally revamped herself via plastic surgery and doesn't even look like the same person; she also was cheating on him with Hef during a very difficult time, while his mom was undergoing cancer treatments. He says she's a lot slicker than people realize and is planning on getting every dollar she can out of Hef---and she makes a point of studying up and learning all about Hef's favorite things just so she can continue to seem like his "soulmate".

Anyhoo, it's a pretty warped lifestyle, being a girlfriend in the mansion. Especially considering baby oil and towels are considered perfectly healthy means of protection during sex. Yuck.

That may be the grossest thing I've ever read on this board, and I'm including the Flavor of Love thread in there...

Can you believe that these girls want us to believe that their lives are sooooo glamorous??? NOOOO thanks!

Holly is a user, in Izabella St. James book, Bunny Tales Izabella claimed that Holly would spend hours looking for Hef's will. IMHO, she never leaves his sight in fear that someone will come and take over her place in the "will line."

Maybe that is why she spends so much time poking around his office and harassing poor old Mary the secretary. I'd love it if Hef left more to Mary than he did his bimbos. Lord knows the stories that woman could tell if she decided to write a tell-all.

I'd laugh my ass off if Hef was actually divorced and secretly married to Mary.

Do you think, back in the day, that Hef and Mary ever hooked up?

I love it when Holly say, "Oh Mary is one of my closest friends, " which is really nice but I think she is friends with Mary because Mary is the gate keeper and knows all.

According to Izabella, they've all tried Botox and most have used Restylane. She has a section on how to achieve the "Bunny Look" and it involves some surgery ("big breasts," "photogenic nose,") or at least procedures for most people.

That might not include Kendra though because she arrived after Izabella left, but supposedly Bridget also had laser resurfacing underneath her eyes.

I thought it was interesting that Izabella said she liked Bridget the least, even though she acknowledged how possessive and back-biting Holly was to her. She said Bridget was the most manipulative and underhanded with the crying and running to Hef. She also thought Bridget was the least attractive, and she was a bit freaked out by her (and to some extent, Holly's) obsession with all things little-girlish and pink.

What I can't believe is that Bridget's husband would financially support her to move to the Playboy Mansion and screw Hef Hefner. That's what he calls "making it" in Hollywood?

Kendra did look quite comfortable around the stripper pole but then she does the stripper moves often. She also seems obsessed with her butt.

Obviously, she never bothered to look into a mirror...

RE Mary -- I think she is in the best position of all..she gets a salary (just like the kept girls), gets to sleep with whomever she choses, gets to go on the trips, has the best stories for a post-Hef tell all book, doesn't have to screw Hef, and probably has so much Playboy stock she is an undercover multi-millionaire.

AAAAAW SHIT!!! Team Mary!!

Kendra was a stripper at a place called "Cheetah's or Cheater's or something" in San Diego but I can't remember if they said it on the show or what.. That's part of what Hef "saved" her from.

Team Mary!!! Gah, if that woman could talk.

I think Hef really hates when he thinks someone's trying to snooker him, like Holly with the snooping around. Besides, hasn't she been there for a long time, for a girlfriend? Time to cut her loose.

He can't cut any of them loose. Playboy is enjoying a small boom in interest because of those three women.

Maybe she's preparing to out Holly and take over as head girl friend.

Team Mary! I think it would only take one word from Mary to get one of the girls fired or demoted.

It struck me that Hef was oh-so-thrilled that Holly was interested in his hobbies. But has he ever reciprocated? I mean, besides the girls interest in posing nekkid, he could give a crap about their interests or hobbies. I remember form the MTV cribs special that Hef gave all of his girlfriends guitars with bunnies on them. But Holly mentioned that she didn't play. And what else does he give them as gifts? Copies of picture of himself (Kendra's 20th b-day) or copies of their own pictures. Selfish.

How wrong is it that I read that last word as donated? Yep, like objects.

How long has she been around anyway? I wonder if she's always had the same tiny, cluttered office, or if being Hef's sec was once a glamourous job as well.

I am sure it was more glamorous before Holly arrived in the mansion and decided she needed to bring penis cookies to her and discuss "power muffs."

I think she once mentioned she'd been there 30 years.

Is Captain Bob her husband? He's the guy who escorted her to the Murder Mystery Party.

I believe that I have heard him refered to as her boyfriend.

Izabella said in her book that Mary had a lot of power and seemed to know everything that was going on. I'll bet she is fiercely loyal to Hef.



Actually, I thought Izabella looked quite pretty in the book photos. A little plastic maybe, but all the Hef women seem to look that way nowadays.

Just adding this because of her earlier discussion:
I've read Izabella's book 3 times (HEY! Don't laugh so loudly-I like to read junk at bedtime) and don't remember her (more than very casually) implying that Holly looked for Hef's will.
I do remember her criticizing Holly's devotion to Hef (and calling 'unhealthy') while also implying that Holly used Hef.

Anyone else think that it would be wildly romantic of Mary was in love with Hef? That's why she's stuck around all these years. Unrequited love for Hef for 30 years, opting to work for him just to be close to him?

Really? I'm not out hunting for news articles, but one I saw said that Playboy magazine is still losing money... but maybe they have a side deal with E! for ad revenue or something.

Besides, I can hope they let them go, can't I? Normally I hate pointless drama, but I think the drama during the party posse days would have been more interesting than this sugar-coated blah-fest. What's next? "Oh! We all have hammertoes from wearing heels so much, so I wanted a Hammertoe Theme Party! We're even booking MC Hammer to perform!"

Oh, no, that would be very, VERY sad!

I need Mary to be all powerful, and I can even imagine her getting all snarky when her friends ask her about the GFs. But I can't handle Mary crying silent tears of unrequited love in her dumpy hole of an office.

I should probably go to the Ugly Betty thread now.

I'll hunt. This is from the article titled "Can Bunnies Get Playboy Hopping Again?" which mainly focused on the Casino Club in Vegas.

Great article! Are people lining up to pay a $40 cover charge just to get into the Playboy Club?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's a 200% LOSS on the publishing side from '04 to '05. Ouch!

Also, does anyone know why the Snark Pit has changed TGND forum to reg'd users only? I was having fun lurking there.

Just adding this because of her earlier discussion:
I've read Izabella's book 3 times (HEY! Don't laugh so loudly-I like to read junk at bedtime) and don't remember her (more than very casually) implying that Holly looked for Hef's will.

I know I remember her saying this. When she was promoting her book, we asked her questions and she would answer them at the E! boards so maybe that is where she made that comment.

Erm, no, they're not. I live in Vegas and went to the opening party last Friday night. Everyone was there (from the show) and it was not as great as it should be. It's a hard town to compete in when it comes to club business, there are so many really great places to go and it's not like the club can even claim to have the best looking girls working there. You can see hot chicks behind a bar or serving cocktails at every other club or you can go to a strip club at close proximity to the Strip and see said hot chicks take off their clothes. All for about half the price in cover. Word on the street is that a major retool may be coming very quickly.

dutchsofa, please do tell the nasty details. What do the GF look like in person? Are they tall or tiny? Is Hef as much of a mummy as he seems on TV? How long did they stay? What did they do?

Wow, thanks for "taking one for the team", as it were. See anything interesting? Did the place reek of baby oil, or was it a little than a realistic version of the Playboy Mansion?

I'm not surprised nobody buys the magazine anymore. As soon as the mags come out you can find all the pics online for free anyway,

But I thought people got the magazine for the articles. ;-)

That's what the "it's not porn" arguers were trying to convince us of, anyway. I'm sure they will be back at their Playboy, Inc. desks on Monday to refute all of the above, ho hum.

Over on alt.tasteless (I am a fan like Gharlane) one poster said:
I love AT!

Playboy no longer has the mystique it once had. Sex and nekked women are readily available on the 'net and elsewhere.

I actually used to buy it for the articles & stories if Stephen King had one in there. I'd look at the photos of the girls and think how ditzy they sounded in their little profile they used to do (maybe they still do it - but they'd almost always use a circle to dot their i) but they generally looked good in the photos and my girlfriends and I thought they made them look lovely - this was back in the late 70s/early 80s though - back in the 'fur bikini' days. And then I'd give it to my boyfriend for whatever he chose to do with it.

Hef would probably have done the business better by pulling a Howard Hughes and hiding rather than being so public with his group of 'girlfriends'. I think they'd have more fun with one of those male Real Doll sex toys than it sounds like they do with Hef. And they could forgo the baby oil crap and the Holly wipes. Yetch.

I am no admirer of these three broads, but Holly's "Jackie Ho' " costume for the Halloween tour was hilarious. I hope it was genuinely her idea. Christie Hefner probably shit, since she's a hard-core Democrat.

I don't know how many of you have been to Vegas lately, but if you do come and go to one of the bigger, fresher, zestier new clubs, like Tryst, Tao, Pure, or Jet and then head over to the Palms for the Playboy experience, you will probably do what I know quite a few people have done the past couple of weekends: turn around, get back into your cab and go right back to Tryst, Tao, Pure or Jet. Perhaps I should explain how locals view the Palms to begin with: there are two properties somewhat off the Strip that each like to think that they're too cool for school: the Palms and the Hard Rock. The latter gets the job done; when you go to the Hard Rock, the beautiful people are there, the celebrities are there and the party actually feels realistic (as realistic as anything actually gets in Vegas). The Palms thinks it does all the above, but it is a little more poser in its efforts. This is where the guys in their mid-30s (+) go thinking it's the place to go, making it the perfect home for Playboy, I suppose. The club feels forced and the image put-upon (though, I don't doubt that a lot of people will go and have a great time, I'm (to be fair) a lifetime local and have been to too many club openings to be impressed by much anymore).

The girls were not so hot without the benefit of proper camera lighting, all were pretty tiny and all were dressed in really blah outfits. Hef kind of shuffled around with Holly always within two yards of him. Kendra looked bored the whole time and every time she started to move away from the group, she would get quietly ushered back. Bridget was the most animated. I left before they all did. I went with two of my girlfriends; we each had a couple of glasses of champagne and called Tryst halfway through the first (glass) to grab a table there. We saw a lot of people from Playboy there who had done the same thing.

She must have a plan, because she does not show the professionalism in journalism that someone of her education should have. Remember the show in which she hosted the opening segment of "Extra" and they had to do 1,000 takes or something? Also, remember the radio show in Chicago/NY (?) when she stumbled over SOO many words? The other girls were better in COMMUNICATIONS than she presented at the time, and this was "her thing".
Also, there is no reason to get a master's in Comm/Journ unless you want to teach, and then it is mostly admin stuff you do in grad school. My husband got a BA in JOMC (Journ and Mass Comm) and says that a grad degree is a waste of time if you want to be an anchor, producer, director, etc. (akin to getting a Masters in Fine Arts to be a studio artist-you can't teach artistic talent!!). Hubby has actually changed to business instead of journ.(yes! We eat again!); it will be interesting what Bridget does when she is no longer employed by this "situation"-for lack of a better word.

Plain -

"Also, does anyone know why the Snark Pit has changed TGND forum to reg'd users only? I was having fun lurking there."

It's been changed back so that anyone can view it, BUT there are still other forums that are hidden from view unless registered. It's a great board. One of my favorites (besides this one, of course), because E! is just crap. Just a bunch of namecalling and fighting. The Snarkpit girls usually nip that stuff in the butt pretty quick though. Here is the URL if anyone is interested www.thesnarkpit.com

Save the choad!
To be quite honest, I thought it was kinda tacky and looked more like "Doctor Girlfriend" from The Venture Brothers to me, at which point I started having flashbacks to one of their bumper ads for the show in which some guy dressed up like that character confiding about how The Monarch masturbates with baby oil (or something like that). Was this a new episode, BTW? Elvira is so 1980's, those girls must be seriously mental if they thought they'd be able to fit that dog into that pumpkin, and once again, Kendra was a half-assed slacker who thought that wearing a "Goto Hell!" t-shirt made a good Halloween costume and a pumpkin with a football carved i it would make a good jackal lantern.

I was up late watching last night, and there was a scene where Kendra and Bridget (I think) were dancing for Kendra's birthday (I think) and Bridget had on a pink dress (I think)...

...ANYWAY! There was totally a nip shot! And not just for a second....it went on and on! Can't believe it didn't get blurred out.

Kendra is just gross to me.

Holly was cracking me up with the Paris Hilton costume in Vegas. Wait...that wasn't a costume?

It's just so impossible NOT to like Bridget.

I think Holly is hysterical this season....last season I just thought she was a b*tch...but she cracks me up all the time now. She plays right into the jokes & her comments and faces are so funny.

Ahem, as badly as I hate to admit it, I can't stay away from this trainwreck......I LOVE the editors of this show, they so obviously make fun of all three gf's.
I kept waiting for Holly to make (instead of Jackie Ho) a "Jackie 'O'" (as in orgasm) comment....not that she seems to have any first-hand info about those. It was kind of a clever costume, which makes me think she didn't come up with it on her own.
And how demented is a tour of homes/areas showcasing dead people? Brigette really needs a different hobby.