Oh PityFree, I couldnt have said it any better myself!

Ptyfree You got me wondering too http://www.ehow.com/how_13097_bidet.html

One more thing to add.. Do you think that when Kendra does her Booty shake in the mirror she thinks in her bleached out brain "Damn, I still have it!!".

I don't understand throughout this whole experience why someone doesn't shake Holly and tell her she's delusional. I don't want to touch her oral sexing of the Hef because that makes my head go pop, but she seems reasonably okay as a person otherwise. Why does she hold on to a guy that is just so obviously going to die long before he will inseminate and impregnate her? I think she really loves him but it doesn't mean that it isn't healthy. Yeah, and he's still fucking married!?!??!

As annoying as Bridget is, I think she knows not to rock the boat. She knows she's not going to be with Hef forever and I think she's just milking this for all it's worth. I find it a bit icky but she is at least realistic.

I like Holly. I think she's a snappy dresser. I think she is neat in some way. But my God! She is throwing her damned life away and at least if she was looking for some sugar daddy, I'd think she was realistic but I think she's smitten with some mythical idea she has of him and it's just sad.

PS. I am traumatized by all the descriptions of what goes on in the bed. TRAUMATIZED! I can't believe she is 25 and going out with someone who is as old as MY grandmother (and my older sister is almost 40). GOD! WTF?!?!? It's funny how you can accept this show as cute and the girls as somewhat amusing and then you really think about what is going on and you just want to take a shower.

I really can't tell how much of Holly's attitude is good company PR for Hef or real. She often sounds like a vp for Playboy and after he finally dies they would be smart to hire her. As far as her desire to marry him and viewing him as a sexy vibrant man goes, he has been the center of her world from a pretty young age in her adulthood.

I wonder if he has a really intricate combover or a rug, and he just throws on the hat when he doesn't want to bother.

So thats how you use one. I had a hotel room in Florida that had one and I spent a few minutes trying to figure it out before giving up.

I have revised my former stance that Hef doesnt have sex with the girls. TMI alert from reading those books, I think he does, since he really doesnt do much more than lay there. No chance of a heart attack from over exertion. But really, it sounds boring as hell. Twice a week the same exact way each time? Yawn.

WORD, celerydunk! There is just nothing sexy at all about their lifestyle or even the girls themselves. They may drop trou everytime a camera bulb flashes, but there isn't a thing sensual about any of them. No build up, nothing beyond the surface, no yearning, no intimacy. It is just all cold hard plastic...blow up dolls (GND) and dildos (Hef's geezer friends). How sad.

There used to be a forum on this site which covered that special, wasn't there? Or am I thinking of the one on prostitots?

I think I just grossed myself out by imagining Hef and the girls participating in some sort of "baby and nurses" role-playing games.
My years of reading alt.tasteless was more than enough for me, but it appears someone beat me to it. I only saw the clip on The Soup, but did they show them trying to use it or describing how they tried to use it? I would find that funnier than it should be.

100% word!

Ive been to the London Dungeon twice and its a big bore. Perfect for these twits

I think they would have had a better time a la National Lampoons Euro Vacation driving in a circle as the tour guide repeats "Big Ben, Parliament" 1000 times. I am sure every time Kendra would "oooo" like its the first time she sees it.

Sometimes I feel like reading an encyclopedia after listening to Kendra so my brain absorbs some extra knowledge to compensate for her borderline retardation.

LMFAO! Look kids.....Big Ben, Parliment. I love that movie.

On another note, in my high school, we didnt really delve into London history so alot of the stuff that the tour guide was saying, I was actually learning a little bit myself. But the comments and the things that the GND were saying was just mind blowing.
When the tour guide said that most of the stuff was rebuilt due to the bombings, Holly said that she hated the stuff built in the 60' and 70's. Um, HELLO. This woman was telling of how her country was bombed and she says that?
Kendra flashing Parliment? Thinking that the queen wanted to meet Hef?
Sometimes I think that Peroxide can get into the brain and mess it up.

The Queen and Hef was just ridiculous. Does Kendra not know that her Majesty does not want anything to do with Hef?

Only if there was something there to mess up in the first place.



Aww, how sweet. She wanted Hef to have a friend that was more age-appropriate.

I also noticed this but what I saw was Kendra make the remark, Bridget visibly gulped at the faux pas, and then Kendra quickly corrected herself. Bridget looked nervous like Kendra had made quite a mistake. I think Bridget is the smart one in this trio. She knows what to do and say, unlike both Kendra and Holly. Even if she did think DVT ripped off her act (which we all know she didn't) she did not say it, she took the high road b/c she knew it would make it look better even though she was secretly seething.

They say that with age comes wisdom.

I'm pretty sure you're thinking of the prostitot show (with poor little Swan, right?). These were some really cool older ladies in their 60's and older that tried to tell the filmmaker just what it was like. Unfortunately she was more interested in making it about her, but some nuggets still managed to come thorough in spite of that.



That is exactly how I see it. It's also somehow ... desperate. Desperate Girls Next Door. Kendra seems bored (even if she also is apparently as dumb as a box of peroxided hair) and ready to make a run for it if a rapper or sports figure gives her a wink. Bridget seems to be the nicest of the bunch and prepared to ride the train as long as it will carry her. Holly is more of an enigma to me. I'm not sure if she really believes what she's saying about Hef being her One Twue Wuv or not. I suspect she's probably the shrewdest of the bunch & trying to play her cards right.

After reading more about the escapades at the mansion, I've also revised by opinion of the sleeping arrangements. I used to think that Kendra didn't participate, but I've changed that. Definitely does and apparently is growing a bit tired of it. Who can blame her?

She's not shrewd enough to ride the train for an indefinite period of time and she's not smart enough to hide her boredom. She's a young, pretty girl. Having this on her resume will be helpful in the circles she wishes to travel in...no harm, no foul.

The best thing that can be said for Hef is that he doesn't take advantage of anyone who doesn't volunteer.

Something tells me as soon as Hef is in the wheelchair or pooping on himself, Holly will be the only one cleaning him up and pushing him around trying to get him to the altar while he has a shred of memory left. Then she will try to land Hef's brother.

Kendra wont be bothered and will run to the first Escalade on dubs that pulls up to the mansion. She will run out to the passenger side door, flash that dumb ass grill she wasted money on, and be giving head before they are off the property.

Bridgit will be roaming around the grounds sleeping in whatever bedroom she can before packing up the Porsche and taking off 3 months later. Or she can share her own social security money with Hef.

luckywocky Thanks for the link. My employers would be happy to know I have spent the past day in a half reading that book at my desk from cover to cover. After all it is very a very important book.


I think Kendra thought that she would meet someone and be rescued from that gross baby oiled geiser but that has not happened. Now she the situation is getting on her nerves. She can't ever do what she wants... She is stuck going to Wednesday's bday parties.

So much word to that. Kendra's booty shakes and Bridget's strip tease are two of the unsexiest things that I have seen in my life.

I caught the show for the first time--there was nothing on. I'm surprised and disappointed at how not bright these ladies are. Don't know why I was surprised or disappointed, just am. I learned that they actually had a black PMOY recently--more recently than I thought. I have determined that if Playboy is going to survive, plastic fake blond chicks are going to have to stop being the norm.

Anyone else notice that Playboy is the new finishing school?

I was thinking more along the lines of the new-age version of clone school, or pod-gestation fembot incubator. Creepy all the same.

Gah - so much to snark on in this ep. Holly's continued delusions about marrying Hef, the girls wonder and amazement at a bidet, flashing Parliament....the mind boggles at the stupidity.

WTF with Kendra's rugby stripe dress she wore to the fancy Paris restaurant? Fug.

Can the girls line someone up while they are still living with Hef?

This makes me wonder if Hef *wants* to rotate in some new flesh, but won't because he doesn't want to change his "popular show" lineup. Ratings 'n profit certainly trump sentimentality for him.

Pity Free brilliant as always..I just wanted to see that again.

To be honest, it's been so long that I no longer remember, but that name rings a bell.

Her hubbya has the ss on lock! lol

I'd bet a gazillion dollares that car has already been returned to the dealership it was borrowed from. That wasn't what she drove to Three Dog Bakery for Wednesday's cake, was it?

P.S. I once got our family dogs a birthday cake (they are siblings and a cousin who has a close b-day) from TDB and they LOVED IT. It was very cute. It was decorated with tiny (real) dog bones. No, I did not taste it. We had a people cake for the humans.

Heh. Call him what you will, but Hef is not a stupid or careless man. He knows better than to go screwing up his finances with another wife and/or kid at age 80. Does Keith work for the magazine too?
So lets make wagers- will Holly go away quietly with her $3 mil when Hef kicks, or will we have an entertaining palimony suit and perhaps a "Me and Hef" Lifetime movie?

I'm willing to bet that either Holly and/or Bridget has been quietly keeping a diary or making notes to write a tell all book and screenplay once Hef bites the big one.

And that's where the money might just be.

I think that I would definitely enjoy a book by either holly, bridget or kendra better than Izabella St. James who I didn't even know who she was until the book came out.

My only question is will the books really give us the DL or will the be super sugar-coated like the show?

I could see Bridget ghost-writing a book from her cat's point of view-
"Playboy Mansion Pussy: The Life and Times of Gizzy Marquardt"

JMO, but I think that after Hef dies, one of these girls will definately write a tell-all book. Maybe all of them will, who knows. It depends on which one of them gets screwed over (no pun intended) the hardest (no pun intended to Hef) once the will is read or they get kicked out.

Just wonderring, why do people keep posting that Bridget is married? I can't find anything about it on the net.

Last night I read Jill Ann's book online and becides the need for an editor it was very interesting. I couldn't tell if this woman was a stalker or not. Maybe someone who has also read the book would care to comment on that? I belive it is on topic since it is all about what goes on with the Girls Next Door.

I feel a little bit like she is a stalker. She wanted to have the "playmate lifestyle" so bad that she changed everything about herself and studied every aspect of what playmates do to become one of them. I got a Single White Female vibe from her. Her actions to get in playboy and hang out at the mansion were odd. And I cant help but think that she is not at all pretty. She has a great body but her face... her face....

ETA: Firestorm Isabella says that Bridget is still legally married. The whole situation was mentioned pages back in greater detail.

As for the tell all book I dont think Kendra can read or write but I think she is the only girlfriend that would consider it. I think Bridget and Holly would write books but they would not be at all juicy they would tell the wonderfull story of being Hef's girlfriend. LOL.

I had the flu this last week and read the book in like one night. It was like watching a car wreck, I just couldnt keep my eyes off of it! She did seem really kinda sketchy in some areas, like when she said she left the house of her own accord, but then kept bugging them to get back in?! First she couldnt come to the "sundays" brunches or whatever anymore, and then she was disinvited from the parties anymore, and then she writes the tell-all book. :P Even from her own reports of conversations that she had with others, it seemed as though she was kindof a 'tag-a-long.'

And those boobs! ZOMG, I cant believe that even in the 80's, size Elephant breastuses were in style! Did anyone notice how tan and petit all the girls were, and then here comes JILL, the walking floatation device? I am just wonderring what made her lose her mind at 30, to want to go and fulfill her grandmother's dream for her to work in the porn industry. (I like the magazine too, but um, it is still porn :P)

I am wanting to read izabella's book, anyone know the title?

P.S. I still would like to know why people think that Bridget is married.

I'll take the under that Kendra writes a book....I would be surprised if she could even write her name. Of the three, I think Bridget is most likely to write a tell-all.

jackiecarr - now that title had me snorting the coffee I'm drinking up my nose.
Poor Giz, that cat HATES being roomies with Brigette.
Too bad he can't write - that would be a great tell-all book.
Oh ... the horrors that cat has witnessed.

Re: Brigette's martial status.
There are a couple of pages of speculation on this back starting on page 100 of this thread.
Also around page 100, a link there to another forum - www.thesnarkpit.com/snark/index/php where discussion of Brigette's age + maritial status are discussed. The snarkpit GND forum is pretty funny.

I don't get the impression that Bridget is shrewd or intelligent AT ALL. Hell, she really thought the gargoyles on The View would kiss her ass instead of ripping her a new one!

I certainly don't think she could write a tell-all; if anything, she's overly laudatory of the entire GND experience. She seems like a big old ditzy (and rapidly aging) schoolgirl always kowtowing to Hef. I think she's slightly envious of Holly's role.

And master's degree be damned. She's wiling away the last of her telegenic years on the show. I can't imagine her getting a broadcasting position anywhere--not only does she look too old/worn for it, but she has the stigma of being Hef's girlfriend!

:O Could she really be 45?!

I could see Giz in a little smoking jacket sipping scotch with Hef in his private study:

Giz: So you know Kendra's gotta go, right?

Hef: Yeah, but she gets that Girls Gone Wild market with the flashing and the stripper sh*t. Do you know how much of our business that asshole Joe Francis is taking?

Giz: Business is business man... but sometimes you got to choke a bitch to get your point across. You know she called you "old" last week on the show?

Hef: Oh, hell no! Scratch up all those rap CDs, and then maybe piss on her Lakers jersey if you get a chance.

Giz: For sure, for sure. I've got to protect my stock options and these hos need to know their place.

So I had really bad insomnia the night before last and I kept getting to have snacks and watch bits of TV. I caught a few minutes of the ep where the gang goes to England. Like most of you, I was horrified and stunned by Kendra's inability to comprehend why the Queen wouldn't want to meet them. The stupidity, it BURNS! One more reason to hate humanity....

On the other hand, I wasn't wearing my glasses when I watched this and I was amazed at what a huge improvement that was! Everyone appeared much less haggard and tainted.

When I read Jill Ann's book I kept picturing Bruce as some awful man with lots and lots of chest hair and an open shirt and gold chains since he is about twenty years older than her. It just seemed to me that he pushed her into doing some of this stuff.
However if she lied about her age and was 30, perhaps it was some strange midlife crisis.

oh god, I was so horrified by Jill's incredibly bad boob job. She looks like she was a nice looking girl, really long legs, sort of trashy-pretty in an average way, but those bolt-ons were just awful.

in a way though, she got what she wanted. Hef complimented her, she got her 15 minutes of fame and some good celebrity pics. wonder how much she ended up paying (in both dollars and emotional distress) and if it was worth it?

*************

I still like Bridget - she's a little nutty and her masters is either from a state uni or national university, but I think that she probably thinks she isn't doing too bad. And aside from the horrific scenes described by Jill-Ann, she probably isn't doing all that bad.

HEE!!! I got the most adorable visual reading this! Gizzy is the best part of the show. I love the hateful looks he gives Bridget.



Me too! I was beyond revolted by that woman's torso. What kind of butcher did she mistake for a plastic surgeon? Ugh!

Its funny how many people think Kendra would write a book. Girl can't spell IQ.

Some ghost writer might write one for her. Of course she thinks that means that while he writes really slowly she does a slutty dance next to him.



No Kendra, not ghost rider.....

EWWWW, you have just perfectly described Paul Snyder, Dorothy Stratton's husband and killer. He was a nasty piece of work.

Jackie carr, I am still laughing..that was funny as hell.

Thanks, guys. I imagine Giz being voiced by Charlie Murphy.

..Is he the guy who did the voice of Salem on Sabrina The Teenage Witch?