While I'm a guy and part of me wants to say "Way to go Hef!" it's just too sad of an event to really be proud of. The ritualistic aspects of it really don't make it sound fun at all, especially for the ladies.

But I'm curious what it makes you if you get paid an allowance, free room and board and trips and all you do is give sexual acts in return...ah yes, a prostitute; a big, dirty, peroxized, oil slicked, yeast infected, sexually unsatisfied prostitute.

I wonder if Hef has a pharmacist that makes the ludes for him? With enough money and the pharmacists knowledge I am sure that the ludes can easy be made.

Is Hef not aware that there have been major advances in the science of lube making in the last 50 years? I assume back in the day all you had was lotion or baby oil, but now there's an infinite range of products. It's just so nasty to use something that's going to cause yeast infections with your girls.

The chemical formula would be easy to replicate but hey're actually not hard to get. Since they're Schedule One they can't be manufactured in the United States unless for research purposes i think but they're still widely used and prescribed in many other countries. Canada, Europe,etc. I saw on a drug documentary a while back that they're quite popular in Africa these days.

Most of Hef's friends are these old creepy dudes, but there is a cadre of young guys who procure the drugs and fresh meat. A lot of these guys work as promoters/bouncers/bartenders at the hot clubs in LA. They do the same for all of the house parties up in the hills.

I haven't been able to watch this show regularly, but recently I've caught up on most of the episodes and the snark. A few thoughts:

I'm not generally prone to violence, but I hate that stupid Victoria chick with the heat of a million suns and am enraged every time I see her. How many shows has that botoxed, fucked up freak been on now? Gaaaaaaaaaah!

To me Gizzy is still the star of this show and my hero. He's totally hiding in his little house hatching a plan to kill Bridgette in her sleep and make his escape. I'm routing for him.

I adore Wednesday. I feel a little sad for her, but as long as she can escape into her happy place whenever Bridgette comes near her, she should be alright up until the point when Gizzy kills Bridgette. She needs to work harder on befriending Gizzy so perhaps the two of them can work together.

I think every delusional woman-child like Holly should have her own baby puffin. She can change his adult diapers and cut up his lambchops for him to act out her maternal instincts without actually bringing a real live human into the world.

Kendra is seriously a waste of space. Bridgette and Holly are sad and delusional and need to move on with their lives. But for someone like Kenda with nothing to offer the world but a willingness to flash her ta-tas, a very high tolerance for peroxide, and a signature pose with finger on lip, she's got a pretty sweet deal. Her only responsibilities are to show up at a few parties and pose with the old fossil, and she's totally fucking it up. Hef seemed really pissed at the Easter party at her lateness and lame-ass excuses. I can't imagine her succeeding as a massage therapist or even a pole dancer if she can't even show up on time once a month or so. What a total dumb-ass.

Your commentary was hilarious and right on the money Selma! Gizzy is plotting his evil plan isn't he??? HAHAHAHA headline news: Playboy Bunny Bridget get's offed by pissed off cat.

I agree about Gizzy! My cat has the same attitude.

...with a little baby oil on top! lol

We have the technology. Hef has the capability to use non yeastie causing lube.

That's exactly what I've been thinking. Haven't any of the girls said anything or brought like, a gift basket containing all varieties of lube over as a ginormous hint? I would figure Holly or Bridget would be all into giving Hef a Lube Gift Basket. Bridget could even plan a party with Lube as the theme.

But, like everything in the mansion and with Hef, it has to be old school.

Yeah! You know she'd try to make a tube of lube costume to squeeze poor Gizzy into.

OK Im seriously confused. I just read Jill Ann's boring book. I also read Izabellas. In Jill Ann's she doesnt mention Izabella at all and she would have been there the same time Izzy was there. In Izzys book, she doesnt mention Jill Ann at all. She also doesnt mention Kelly, Michelle, Amber, and a bunch of other people that were there. Neither one of them are in any of the pics together that Jill Ann has in her book....so whats up? Does anyone know? Im lost...

Can you blame him? I'd rather poke myself in the eye with a pencil than share a room with Bridget.

Re: Jill Ann and Izabella.
I remember Jill Ann said she changed the names of the girls, to protect their privacy, but when GND started, she went back and changed Holly and Bridget's pseudonyms to their real names, as they were now figures in the public eye or something. No doubt she wanted to capitalize on the show. I read it ages ago so I'm not sure, but Izabella could be there under a different name.
As for Izabella's book, Jill Ann was only at the mansion for one weekend, so Izabella could naturally overlook/forget her, not to mention she might not want to give her more attention. She might also have written a tell-all, but at least she was a real girlfriend.

Personally, I thought Jill Ann seemed disturbed, rather than just a famewhore. I believe her book is true, sort of: at least the small amount that makes up her first hand account of her weekend there. The problem is that really is a small amount. Most of the book is about her and her desire to crack Playboy: her childhood, plastic surgery and exercise, etc. in the first half, and then her basically stalking Playboy (e.g. trying to use Michael Clark Duncan to wangle a party invite by pretending she would sleep with him, then getting all upset when he yelled at her after he found out she was married and lying to him) the latter half. Then even in the parts that do deal directly with Playboy, a great deal of it is either her repeating second- or third-hand info (like the girl who told her there were cameras in a child's bedroom) or pure opinion (e.g. "I wouldn't sleep with Hef and I didn't get into Playboy, ergo it is not possible for anyone to get into Playboy without sleeping with Hef"; "all the other girls hated me because they were jealous of me being the prettiest"). There is really very little of simply "I was at the mansion and this happened and Hef said this, then Holly did that," but those small parts, I do tend to believe. It's just that those parts get sort of lost in the insanity of the rest of the book.

ITA! I read the ebook that's linked a few pages back, and she comes off as rather disturbed.
Edited to add: This is terribly cruel, but Jill Ann reminds me of a character in that Johnny Depp movie CryBaby. Also i can't seem to pin point what exactly it is, but in the photos of Bridget in that ebook she looks really different in the face than she does now.

Get out of my mind LemonSoda! I showed mr. murphsully a picture of Jill Ann and said, "Doesn't she look like Hatchetface from Cry-Baby?"

This would be my guess as well. Izabella is probably one of the girls described in Jill Ann's book but Jill Ann used different names for the girls. I remember over on the E! board someone posted who each girl was with the name from JillAnn's book and their real name. That was when GND first came out.

And, I also agree that JillAnn was more of a stalker than anything else. Now that we have corroborating evidence of her recount of what goes on at the mansion via Izabella's book, I do believe what she said. However, the constant haranguing of PB office staff and Hef was just a little over the top. I also got the impression that she *still* tries to attend PB functions and wears the clothing/jewelry/etc. as if she were actually a Playmate. Sad that she would be that desperate.

Kendra HAS to be the dumbest person on this side of the hemisphere, i mean seriously?!!!! She is so dense i dont even know where to start from, i mean her disbelief about why the Queen of England wouldnt possibly want to visit with Hef just blew me away.

On the other hand, i cant explain it, but i love Holly. I think shes hysterical, and shes actually pretty, i mean oustide of the delusional and repulsive carrying on with Hef, shes pretty col!

Sigh...Holly, Holly, Holly. Shouldn't the fact that Hef has two other girlfriends be kind of, sort of, maybe a hint that marriage isn't in the cards for you? Also, I can't quite figure out Holly's...figure. It's lovely (albeit surgically enhanced, obviously) to be sure, but from some angles she looks incredibly tiny, whereas from other angles she looks junk-in-the-trunk voluptuous.

Now, I've been watching this show for a little while, and...did Kendra have some work done recently? Because normally I think she's very harsh-looking, but I thought she looked beautiful and more feminine in tonight's episode.

Holy shit, Jill Ann is ugly! She didn't get in the mag because she's a wreck.

Holly and even Bridget look so much better now than four years ago.

I can't decide if Holly really wants to marry Hef as much as she says on the show, if she just sort of wants to marry Hef and they have her play it up for the show, or if she doesn't want to marry Hef at all and is content with her situation, and the whole marriage thing is just made up for the show. He's. Still. Married. So if she actually does want to marry him and they keep making her talk about it like it could actually happen, I feel a little sorry for her. Either that or she does want to marry him and she thinks that if she talks about it on the show he'll be shamed into doing it or something.



I think it helps a ton when she curls her hair and it's not just pulled back into a ponytail, which IMO only makes it look more straw-like.

I think it says a lot about Kendra's, erm....breeding...that she doesn't like to dress up appropriately. The jersey she wore for the slumber party episode was just tacky.
I mean comon---put on a dress for a party as necessary...it can't be THAT tough for a gal who should be quite used to donning tiny cooter-flashing mini-dresses as a rule.
But kudos to her for at least attempting to spruce up a bit more in Europe.

Speaking of which, I do give Holly props for always looking glam for various outings and whatnot. The gal's definitely got style for miles. And looking somewhat elegant amongst that mansion lifestyle filled with peroxide, lycra and stripper heels can't be easy.

Poor Bridgette is just sad. A gal over 30 who still enjoys dressing herself and her pets up in costumes just has to have a few marbles missing...and if I were that poor cat of hers, I would've clawed her face up to shreds years ago.

Way to fuck up the French language Holly

*shaking my head*


Bridget couldn't have been THAT alright with Dita Von Tese ripping her off like that, that's really foul that she did Bridget's striptease after Bridget did it, I am all for giving props to the originator


Team Bridget! lol

Didn't Bridget have tears in her eyes while DVT was performing? I felt bad for the old gal.

Holly's French was atrocious (George Sank!), but at least she tried. Kendra was cracking me up trying to order spaghetti bolognaise. "Bolog-?"

I gotta agree. Bridgette is a annoying sometimes, but I felt a little bad for her. It was nice that Kendra was defending her and giving her props.

I'm glad you said it because now I don't feel like such a bitch for thinking it! I think my reaction was "holy shit she's fugly."

I read that entire ebook and it takes the top spot as the worst "book" I have ever had the misfortune of reading in every possible way. I could practically feel desperation leaking through the computer screen. Jill Ann comes off as being nothing more than a delusional, pathetic excuse for a woman with ridiculously awful breast implants.

Murpsully, Thank You! I was starting to feel really bad for picking on Jill Ann's looks, glad i'm not the only one who thinks she looks like that character!
Kat6, Word! Those implants are horrible! Doesn't she know how monsterously fake they look?
As for tonights ep, it's pretty bad when someone is going to steal something from Bridget. I thought Dita had more creativity than that but i guess not

I gotta say..I'm loving this season. I laughed out loud many times last night; mainly at Kendra.."Where's McDonald's? " "Eh!..You could see that in Vegas". Oddly, these were the same things I said in Paris when I was 19 years old. I thought her enthusiasm for everything in Paris and London were endearing. Same with Holly in Paris.

I didn't get the deal with Dita Von Teese; did she do Bridget's routine as some sort of tribute to Hef and the girls..? Or did she just straight up steal it? Bridget's line about it being "flattering" was so unconvincing, she hasn't said anything was such little enthusiasm in the history of the show.

Dita Von Teese has been doing that act far longer than Bridget.

"Is that the flower show?"

"No, dear, that's a truck."

Poor Kendra. Poor, dumb Kendra.

Although I was very surprised that she loved London as much as she did. It didn't seem like her kind of scene. Maybe there's hope for her yet.

And Holly? SHUT. UP. Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I can't take it anymore!!! The stupid laugh, the embarassing french, the thinking she's better and more cultured than Bridget and Kendra... I want to slap that stupid, smug smile off her face.

Holly says "We have a HUGE entourage. We have Hef's brother Keith, Mary, and a Hair/Makeup artist."

If that's HUGE, Hef's prolly convinced her that his shriveled 3 inch 80 year old penis is bigger than Johnny Wad's.

She acts like she's a star. An "entourage". BWAHAH! A secretary, another dirty old man, and a hairdresser. Love it.

Will someone tell that foolish old beau of hers that he looks like a moron in that captain's hat. Eccentric jammies are one thing. Trying to be Daryl Dragon is just sad.

Kendra doesn't get away from the Mansion enough or get much action outside of Hef...thus her disapeparing for more than 20 minutes with her "special freind" and flashing her boobs and behind!....I see her time at the mansion up pretty soon

Is that her vibrator's name?

But she doesn't flash her boobs does she? She seems to only flash her bra. Who cares? And did you see Hef touching her stomach on the train? Pervy....

The jumping out of a cake and stripping routine is older than Bridget and Dita put together.

Agreed...when Bridget said that I turned to my fiance and said "I hope she was joking." Bridget's routine was by no means original, and I seriously doubt that DVT would steal Bridget's routine when she herself does that every single day.

Hey Kendra, go read a book...any book...seriously, any book, maybe a 3rd grade history book. "Do you have fireworks on the 4th of July?"
*headsmack

Wasn't it the same music though...? I don't remember; I just got that impression because of Kendra's not-so-subtle wide open mouth when the first few bars played.

That's why I thought it was strange. I thought maybe it was some sort of tribute and was expecting Dita to chat with them after it was over, but all we got was the awkward Bridget comment.

If the only similiarity was popping out of cake..then "Puh-leeze bitches..both of you copied the Brazilian himbos who did it for my 30th!!"

I'm not sure what the title of the 'Strip Song' might be, but it's been around awhile and is pretty instantly recognizable as being a classic burlesque/stripper tune. It might be David Rose's The Stripper, I think - I'm having trouble with my computer speakers and can't get the Amazon sample to play. If you google it, it's been around since the early 1960s & is all over the place to review. Which I would do if my damned speakers would work!

HBO aired a pretty interesting documentary about some of the burlesque ladies from the 1950s/1960s awhile back. Pretty Things is the title. I didn't find the filmmaker's quest to become a burlesque dancer as interesting as I found what the former strippers had to say.

I can't believe nobody has commented on Kendra's remark regarding the ladies not wanting to marry the kings because "they were so gross and old...I mean gross". I could not believe how quickly she realized her faux pas. I laughed too, I would have loved to have seen Hef's reaction to that comment!

The theme parties and boyfriend sharing always make me think this is like that reality show about rushing a sorority. It was compounded by Bridget referring to the PoTy party as a nudie graduation.

Seriously, why isn't Hef embarrassed to be seen with these vapid beings. Doesn't he have any grown up friends?

That's funny! I guess watching this show is making me dumber, because I didn't get that until now. It's perfect though.

Kendra=Patrick Star from SpongeBob Squarepants

I know! Bridget was either laughing or grimacing, I can't decide which. I think Hef was out of earshot, but I'm surprised they left it in.

I think Kendra's comment is extremely revealing in a Freudian slip kind of way, it seems to imply how she feels about Hef and how she would never want to marry him because he is so gross and old.

I give Holly props for at least attempting to speak French, as opposed to Kendra who automatically expected room service to speak English and got frustrated when they didn't.

Is it me, or are Bridget's hair extensions getting longer with each episode?

I can't believe they left it in. PB must have less imput into and power over the content then I thought.

eta:
She's making more money now.....

Also, one of the girls (can't for the life of me remember which one) said something to the effect of "I hate that 60's and 70's style" in regards to some building. What about that 60's/70's style mansion you live in? Another "oops" moment.

That was Holly, in response to the guide pointing out some areas that were bombed in the war. I think Holly mistook "the war" to mean Vietnam, unless she knew that some places in London weren't rebuilt until the 60's (I don't even know if that's the case). It seemed a jump to go from talking about the blitz to the 70's.

Also, wtf with thinking that the UK would be like Austin Powers?

If I cared more, I'd search the UK and euro news sites for any mention of their little 2-week jaunt to see how the press reported on their enormous entourage of 8 (?) people.

I liked how Bridget remarked that they were making memories that would last forever. At least she'll have those memories someday.

If you want to flip through Jill Ann's book click here. There's a lot of pictures and just flipping through it I saw "orgy" how many times.

"I think he is learning to get less attractive women who would never make Playmate to live there so that no one leaves him (171)."

"Kim: It was one crazy night
Kim: All the girls got in trouble
Kim: Except for Holly and Bridget
JILL ANN: probably because they didn't leave the table
Kim: And Bridget and Holly f*** Hef on other nights beside wed n friday (226)"

The first two minutes of this episode had me rolling my eyes so hard I got a headache -- Hey Bridgette -- gosh your life is hard. No one understands how hard it is for you to get ready for a European vacation! It is so stressful to have to get your snatch waxed at the same time you get a pedicure! The horror! ....Oh, suck it, Bridgette -- try packing for a trip when you have an actual job and zero butlers to fetch your luggage, cook, clean and do your laundry.

She'd better stop blowing the money on hair extensions and start saving it for when she can't count on blind, horny, old men to pay her expenses.

The GND are PIGS. Just PIGS. Is it ever appropriate to decide to exclaim how much a dessert looks like an penis? I guess we have some insight now -- Hef's yeast infected dick must be brown on one side just like chocolate frosting. WTF? Flashing everyone including Parliament? Klassy. Did you see Pigglette Bridgette squatting over the bidet with her dress lifted up? Super Klassy. And baby wipes? Thanks for sharing, Stoopid. The rest of us use flushable wipes. (There is some sort of "grown-up baby"/ scat fetish thing going on in that mansion -- they have a lot of baby things without actually having a baby around: wipes, baby oil, Hef's diapers, etc.)

Kendra actually learned more than in school? That's because, unlike when she was in school, she wasn't doing meth while on the trip.

[I do have to stop here and admit that I, too, have always been curious about how exactly you use a bidet -- I even looked it up in the internet but I couldn't find any instructions. For any non-American or super-savvy American TWoP'ers: Do you know if you sit on them? Squat? Stand in front of them and wash with a cloth dipped in the water? Do you actually "eliminate" in them?]

You could tell that the tour guide HATED them...especially the mental defect, Kendra. You know she tried to ditch them in that dungeon museum on purpose.

I wish I had been in the hotel room when the wedding guest yelled up to Hef "When are you going to get married?" because I would have leaned out the window and shouted, "As soon as he divorces his current wife!" Then, I would have shot Holly a pitying look and laughed and laughed.

ETA: Oh yea! Ditta's act! I forgot to comment! Ditta did not "copy" Bridgette. First, Ditta did not climb out of the cake. Second, Ditta did not practice her act in front of her parents. Third -- how the fuck does Bridgette think she was doing anything but copying some old strippers routine that's been done a million times before in the first place?

ETA: Thanks, cotterpin! Hee! I'll be careful not to scald my anus!

Just finished watching the latest eps (thank god I have tivo). Kendra- I love the booty shakes she does in the mirror when trying on her different outfits for the trip! Ha Ha so stripper.... Then she mispronounces bidet and says Banay or something like that. Bridget is just a friggen mess. But she does try to be sweet and have us feeling sorry for her (poor Bridg) all the packing and getting ready, please honey not another panic attack!! And the look on her face when Dita was doing her strip tease, my gawd!! Im not too sure but I do think Dita has been performing that act a lot longer than Bridget and with alot more class. Although Bridgets was cute. Still her look of shock was priceless. And Holly, oh Holly, walking around the hotel room with the open umbrella what was THAT all about?? I will say the bitch does dress up quite nicely. Still she makes me gag with all the hints about marrige etc... somebody slap her back to reality. And Hef, with that captains hat.. I use to work in a nursing home and some of our gentlemen who were dealing with Altzheimers we would let them "dress" like that. Hmm makes you wonder. One last thing and I will shut up (promise) seems to me poor Bridgets face really was showing her age this eps just stressed out. Lines and shit. Maybe it was the panic attacks....A Ha Ha.... TTYL