Ta da!

I was tempted to vote for Kevin Brown - anger management issues, anyone? - and then for Tavarez - during the playoffs, you moron? - but the overwhelming season-long spazziness of the Diamondbacks carried the day.

Julian Tavarez. No contest. His spaz-out was a joy to behold.

Do you know of anyplace online where I might behold a video of it? Because I went Milton in this poll, but I actually saw that meltdown. And: hee.

Puhleeze. Scooter deserves the steel toe of Tubey firmly appiled to his seams.

D-Backs. Esp. Colangelo. They are dead to me--and I went to Game 7!

I'd actually like to see the video of Milton Bradley going bat shit. I've seen pictures, and that was bad enough, but I'm guessing live it looked like party time in a mental ward.

I choose Tavarez for now. What. A. Wackjob.

I'd love to see the clip, too. I missed it.

But the answer to this poll has to be Francisco. He threw a chair at a middle-aged lady, fer chrissakes. It doesn't get more spaz-tastic than that!

I know Fox showed the Tavarez clip at least once.

I was tempted to put the lady herself in the poll after she and her Duke Lavery-esque husband admitted that they got those seats specifically to heckle. Shut up, idiots.

Hmmm....in the heat of my ALCS joy, I nominated "Brownie", but now, a day later, I'm like "How could I forget 'House of Flying Chairs'?" Now I realize that Brown's not so much spazz as "completely unreliable and past his prime". Milton Bradley also came close, for going batshit twice, on camera, in one season, but in the end it was quality, not quantity, so I went Francisco.

"Wavin'" Wendell Kim has to win this poll.

While not as famous as the other players (he's not even a player. He was the 3rd Base Coach for the Chicago Cubs this past year. He has since been fired), his sheer ineptitude reached comic proportions at times.

Ask any Cub fan.... He most often times sent the runner when there would be no chance of him scoring, and also held a runner when it would be extremely easy for him to score. So basically, whatever the right thing was to do, he did the opposite.

Case in point.... Cubs Third Baseman Aramis Ramirez missed significant time this year with a hamstring injury. On one of his first games back, Aramis was on base, and a ball was hit into the gap. While Aram isn't the fastest guy around, if he was 100% healthy, he could have scored from first base on the double. But he wasn't. He was limping and lumbering around the bases. Kim sent him, and Aramis was out by 30 feet at the plate. The next man up got a hit, so Aramis would have been the tying run if he would have been held.

Wendell Kim cost the Cubs probably 7-10 games this year (conservative estimate) with his dumbass coaching decisions. I don't think anyone else on the list cost their team that much

Scooter. Always Scooter. Shut up, Scooter.

I voted for Giambi, if only because his spazzitude lasted the whole damn season. And I never understood why anybody thought he was ever good -- he can't play his position, can't run for shit, whiffs as often as he dings, and --worst of all -- talks in that uber-annoying California uptalk. You know. Where every statement sounds like a question? Gak.

Though calling AR "girlfight" is so excellent, I'm still chuckling.

THANK YOU. I knew that slick oily bastard reminded me of someone.

Mr. Counsel saw the Tavarez freak out. It sort of scared him.

Bradley may be more bat-shit crazy, but Francisco has a higher body count.

And on the Bradley/media coverage topic, the St. Louis Fox Sports producers who erased the tape of the clubhouse meltdown 'cause the Dodgers staff "intimidated" them? Morons.



Or Red Sox fan. Memories of Kim as our 3rd base coach is all that is keeping Dale Sveum from taking his place as the worst one team history!

Tim "Turn off your TV, turn up your radio" McCarver

A-Rod, totally. The "Girlfight" (Ha!) incident is just an indicator of the problems the guy has.

Plus, he really was trying to convice the umps that his slappiness was brought on by some sort of muscle spasm in his running motion.

I'm gonna have to go with "Windmill" Wendell Kim. I mean, the man killed more rallies than a bad public speaker.

I had to go with Milton, because he went batshit twice this season. Plus, the time he threw the bag of balls all over the field was hilarious.

Probably not spaz of the year (also because I think it was awesome), but who had the first obligatory "someone throws the entire contents of his dugout out on to the field" moment of the year? Wasn't it some catcher- and iirc, a guy with a reputation for being fairly level-headed? This was like bats, and trash cans, and helmets, oh my. Crucify me, I find that shit hilarious.


edited to add, you and me both apparently, irregardless. Looks like we posted at the same time. Anyway, I'm talking about an incident early in the season, long before the bag of balls incident (bonus on that for originality), in case anyone can help me out here.

I went A-Rod on the basis of the "girlfight" reference. That slap was awesome.
A-Rod barely beat out Tavarez for me. The temper was embarrassing, but I, as a huge Cards fan, feel the need to point out that the Cardinals probably don't win game 6 without him pitching on that busted hand.
And where's Sammy Sosa's 15-day DL sneeze on this list? Can't believe no one nominated that ...

ETA: Sars, I was looking for a clip of that for you, and I can't believe I can't find one. Sorry. I'm sure eventually during the Series, FOX will show it.

You know, I nominated Tom "Hockey Fight Teeth" Glavine and his cab company, but was compelled to vote for Scooter because-- shut up, Scooter. If I'm watching a LCS game through the 14th inning, chances are I don't want to see an animated baseball tell me about how to throw a changeup.

I went with A-Rod mostly because of his karate chop to Bronson Arroyo, but now I'm thinking I should have gone with Milton Bradley. Mostly because when he goes nuts, it's actaully entertaining.

As the person who made the official nomination, Wavin' Wendell gets my vote. I guarantee if Kim wasn't coaching third, the Cubs are in the playoffs instead of the Astros. A scarecrow could not have done worse. And I love the one-liners from a guy at The Cub Reporter in response, which accompanied the nomination:

"Sadly, Wendell's SUV was totaled driving home from Wrigley when a traffic cop inexplicably motioned him into the path of oncoming traffic."
"Wendell arrived back at his house to find all his clothes thrown out on the lawn. That's right, he's out at home, too."
"You know, Wendell intended to live a celibate life, but he's gone all the way with everyone he's ever been with. He just couldn't bear to stop anyone at third base."
"Wendell's up for a part in the traveling cast of The Producers. He's a master at producing disastrous plays."
"Actually, Wendell's just going on leave while he undergoes occupational therapy. He'll be working for IDOT putting up stop signs."

I didn't see Milton's Meltdown, but I did watch Tavarez (a/k/a Crazypants). If you can't find the clip, I'm a half a nation away, but I've got all 7 NLCS games on tape.

I know I was lobbying for Francisco earlier, but another reason to vote for A-Rod would be because of his deathstare after game 7. That was just scary.

Hee. Tavarez! But "Girlfight" is the best nickname for A-Rod. Ever. (But "Firestarter" is a close second.)

I've missed some of these spazzy moments. We need a highlight reel.

I was tempted to go with Brown vs. The Wall, but in the end, I had to go with Milton. Watching those clips of him going batshit on ESPN gave me the biggest laugh of the season. Of course, I missed Tavarez because I missed most of the NLCS (thanks FOX for having almost all of the games DIRECTLY OPPOSITE each other -- and the one day the Yanks were off, my 'Canes were in nailbiter with Lousiville).

It's too late to nominate FOX's awful broadcating schedule, isn't it?

Ok, found it. It was catcher Mike DeFelice from the Royals. C'mon, coolers, a trash can? I watched that highlight like thirty times.

Maybe he was just trying to get on Sportscenter; I mean, it's not like the Royals were getting on the highlight reel much otherwise. (Except for that 26 run first game of a Royals-Tigers double-header; which they appropriately followed up by being shut out in the second one. Ah, baseball.)

I was actually watching that game where Brown punched the wall.(To see if the Yanks lost, since it was around the time the Sox were threatening for the division again.) And I remember being so confused when Michael Kay came back from commercial with "We are now getting reports that Kevin Brown has broken his hand." I thought I had missed some weird fielding/bunt play. And then laughing so hard when I found out otherwise.

The Diamondbacks. First, you trade one of your aces for what amounts to a bag of peanuts. Then your other ace gets mad at you for not trading him and basically calls the team a sinking ship. That same ace has a spectacular ERA but a less-than-spectacular W/L record since the team, as a whole, pretty much sucks.

Way to go, Colangelo!

And all this just 3 years after winning the World Series.

While Tavarez made me wet myself laughing, Milton Bradley wins for consistantly being a Spazz. And cause his name is Milton Bradley.

I had to vote for Milton Bradley, esp. after having to listen to Giants fans bitching about how the Giants should have signed him. I thanked TPTB on a number of occasions for not making that come true.



I was tempted to vote for him after all that he put Giants fans through. He is part of my father's All Suck team for the Giants. Thank God for Gene Glyn. He makes Wendell Kim look even worse by comparison.

And don't the Cubs have Sonny Jackson too? Heh. Good luck with him.

Ah, Kevin Brown wins in my book. Way to void the no-trade clause in your contract by causing your own injury. What an ass.


Tavarez's freakout cracked me up. Anyone else remember when he was a shy 19 year old pitching for Cleveland who barely said a word?

OK, I know we're supposed to wear seatbelts in the back of taxicabs, but I don't think I'd count being in a traffic accident as being spazzy (plus, I love me some Glavine). If he'd knocked his teeth out tripping on the top step of the dugout? Super Spazzy.

Oh Scooter. STFU.

I say the Chicago Cubs - whining Spazzes. Zambrano in particular for freaking out at Jim Edmond's for looking at a home run for a second.

Then Kent Merker and others for getting pissed at their TV announcers.

But had to go with Milton Bradley consistant spaz. Maybe we could come wup with a boardgame about his antics.

Oh, the Cubs, that's a good one. Moises Alou especially.

Yeah...had to go with the D-Backs, seeing as I have had a front-row seat to this train wreck. As Luciano points out, it's been just three years since they were the best team in baseball, and even this year I recall at least a few periodicals picking them to win their division and go somewhere in the playoffs. Well, they were the worst team in baseball, so...close.

(It will take severe Alzheimer's to make me forget Buck & McCarver calling that last pitch -- something that may cause a lesser fan to commit Harry Caray (heh) -- McCarver pointing out that Rivera tends to give up shallow bloopers over drawn-in infields, and then Buck: "floater...centerfield...the Diamondbacks...are world champions." Ahhhhhhh!)

mtvcdm, those one-liners are hilarious.

I had to go with A-Rod too. Watching him trying to convince the umpires that he runs like Phoebe on "Friends" made me laugh and want to kill him at the same time. And word on the A-Rod glare, A Big Potato. That was freaky.

Yeah, the Cubs pretty much had a whole team full of spazzes this year. This wasn't the first year I was ashamed to be a Cub fan. But this year it was for thier off-the-field actions instead of on-the-field ones, although there were plenty of those too.

I voted for ARod. (Wasn't that the name of a horse in Lord of the Rings?) It wasn't just for the sissyboy slap; it was also for his whole, "Who? Me?" act while he was standing on second. How could the Yankees losing to the Red Sox after winning the first three games of the series be even more humiliating? Alex Rodriguez showed us it could be done.

Yes- there were a bunch of spazzies on the Cubs team and their total collapse in the last 10 games of the season had me in tears. But I will NEVER be ashamed of being a Cubs fan. I love them with all of my heart and am proud to be their fan. (I did vote for Kim though.)

Julian Tavarez redeemed himself by not only pitching in Games 6 and 7 of the NLCS and throwing three perfect innings, but completing his Game 7 appearance by deflecting a hot shot up the middle with that broken hand.

I voted for Bradley, who not only freaked out on the field twice but, lest we forget, got his ass shipped out of Cleveland for a meltdown in spring training.

There are no losers in organized sports*! Especially when the category is "Spazz of the Year"! (Although: girlfight. Hee.)

*except Varitek, who's like the opposite of a spazz. A Zzaps. Also, my boyfriend.

corgi-ears, the most brilliant thing about that picture? That it's a Kate Spade bag!


I'll girlfight you for him! (Oh, who am I kidding, share and share alike!)


Amen to that. Although, I am shocked that we didn't have a patented Tavarez freak-out on Saturday night.

Totally Girlfight. There were so many awesome aspects to that moment, like the fact that Bronson "Brandon" Arroyo weighs, like, 75 pounds and if A-Rod had just run directly into him, he probably could have jarred the ball loose, the fact that it was Harmony/Xander caliber girlfighting (seriously, the man would have pulled Bronson's 'rows if he'd thought it would help). And then there was the fact that instead of just ADMITTING he slapped him, he tried to act all innocent, with the shrugging and the put-upon, purple-lipped pouting. It was, quite simply, AWESOME. Hee. How's he lookin' to you now, Steinbrenner?

I voted for Tavarez because watching him is like watching Nosferatu have an epileptic fit. Scary.

But hereafter, I will always refer to A-Rod as "Girlfight." Hee!

(Does anyone else remember a play in Kansas City where a Royals fielder - can't recall who - wound up and let loose a wild throw into the infield, hitting Mike Sweeney square in the back? Sweeney went down like he was shot by a sniper. I looooved that.)

"Girlfight" without a doubt, for the reasons stated by Keely1116.

I have to put in a write in vote for Raoul Mondesi, who managed to get his sorry ass kicked off of two teams in less than a season.