Taking up Sars' suggestion and starting a non-serious thread where one can dream up insanely wild Season 4 scenarios.

Remember - if it can plausibly happen on the show, take it over to General Gabbery. Thanks! :)

How about this idea for season 4?

It is morning. Secret Service Guy Aaron (who has always been loyal to Palmer - as pointed out both in Seasons 2 and 3) comes to Private Citizen David Palmer, who is now living in his home state of Maryland and informs him that he has heard about a threat inside the Government that may result in the assassination of someone high up. (Okay, assassination's been done before - it doesn't matter what the real threat is, as long as it involves the Government).

Palmer immediately contacts CTU and asks to speak to Michelle Dessler who has jsut arrived at work - she is in charge of CTU these days. However she is full of anti-government hatred because it is the day of Tony's execution (although he is not being executed until midnight because executions don't take place on the Sabbath - or so The West Wing would have me believe).

Michelle agrees to help Palmer out, but knows that they will have to keep things very quiet. She has Palmer liaise with Special Agent Charlie Brown - who is a member of the DC branch. Palmer has to make some reason to get inside the White House, and to get in touch with his high-level friends, knowing that he can't let President Keeler know what he is up to.

Jack Bauer is on a plane on his way back from DC because he was visiting SACB and Kim. Or, I guess, he could be going to visit them. So for the first few episodes, Jack is onboard a plane and trying to manage a national security crisis.

Anyway, they evantually find out that the Governor of California is the target, and we get a mix of political conspiracy as they find out why and also lots of action, but with everyone involved because Palmer, SACB and Jack all find themselves in danger since they know what is going on but soon realise that they can trust no one.

In Los Angeles, Jack attempts to protect the Governor and evantually takes down several suspects and takes one back to CTU. He also has chemistry with Michelle's fiesty 2nd-in-command (technically his 3rd-in-command) but they also clash.

While Jack takes his suspect back to CTU, Michelle is asked to protect the Governor for the next shift. However once there, she tries to take the Governor hostage to demand Tony's pardon. ("He risked millions of lives for me, I won't let him die now")

She manages to get it, and breaks Tony out of prison, going rogue. Jack finishes the interrogation and learns more information, however since it is midnight and most people have gone home (since they can't tell very many people about their mission) he has to work with Michelle's 2nd again. They drop by the Governor's house around midnight, and Jack gets a call from the executioner's office (if there is such a thing) saying that Tony never turned up. They get a call from Michelle, who informs them that she has gone rogue with Tony. Inside the house, Jack and the 2nd find the Governor's men dead and the Governor being held at gunpoint. Jack takes her assailant down and then answers his phone, and is stunned to hear Brad Hammond on the other end - Division is involved. They take the Governor with them, and have to keep going on their investigation with her in tow, since they don't know where she'll be safe.

Michelle and Tony are hunted by Division troops, who weren't going to be lenient anyway, but will probably just kill them because Michelle knows what is going on since she has been in contact with Jack.

Meanwhile in Washington, Wayne, Spawn, Angela (Tater Tot) and Aaron's family go into hiding but are attacked around midnight. Wayne recognises their attacker once they kill him, he is a Secret Secret Service man staffed to the President personally. While Aaron's family go interstate with Angela, to somewhere they know that they'll be safe, Wayne and Spawn have to make it back to DC and find SACB, Palmer and Aaron personally to inform them that the President himself is involved. Of course, just at this time, Palmer decides that the only way they can get this conspiracy revealed is to go directly to President Keeler.

I have no idea how it all ends lol, but perhaps Palmer, SACB, Aaron, Wayne and Spawn take a trip using various modes of transport to get away from DC and are hunted all the way to LA, during which time Aaron dies a hero and Spawn is critically injured.

On their arrival in LA, they find that Michelle's 2nd-in-command has been kidnapped and Keeler is disavowing any rumours - blaming it on "A bitter ex-President's lies". SACB and Jack are both distracted by Spawn being in hospital, but they still have to work together to bring down the bad guys and save the Governor, who is left in the capable hands of Palmer and Wayne to be personal bodyguards and protect her. They take her to Dr. Anne's ranch outside LA where they wait out the last couple of hours, prepared for whoever comes to kill her.

Sorry about the double post but it is rather long.

Michelle and Tony go to see Chloe, who is the only person they trust. She's unimpressed - "You guys do realise it's my day off, right?" but agrees to help them. She calls into CTU, which is being run by Hammond, and reports that Michelle just called her from Nevada and wanted her help. They beg her to help them get out of the country and then Jack calls - he needs their help because Tony used to work for some of the people involved. Tony refuses, because of how bitter he has become during his days in prison but Jack promises that the Governor will pardon him if he helps. Michelle is doubtful since half the Government, and Division seem to be involved in this conspiracy but Jack promises that he can help.

Rolaide (who has now returned - in a wheelchair - and is known as Rollaide - TMfuturetouch) gets in contact with SACB's loyal aide, who has been the season's suspicious character, and together they decide to go to the press with everything they know.

Michelle's contact at the hospital advises that some suspicious men are watching the Spawn operation. She tells SACB and they go to check it out.

Palmer and Dr. Anne of course have some angsting in the time while they wait. They've had a confusing relationship since she left him in season 3, and blah blah blah. Meanwhile, the Governor keeps thanking them for keeping her alive and asks Palmer what he'd like in return. He tells her that he'd like to see Keeler leave office, and says that he'd like to run again but can't as long as Keeler is around. She says that he may just get his wish.

In the finale, Jack and Tony go in to rescue Michelle's 2nd, while also discovering how deep the conspiracy goes (I have no idea how deep it goes, but if TPTB can advertise the finale like that, so can I!) and Michelle kicks some ass at the hospital with SACB's help. Wayne and Palmer also get to kick some ass whilst protecting the Governor, only Wayne dies doing so.

Jack and Michelle's 2nd get together, Rollaide and SACB's aide manage to reveal most everything. SACB and Spawn are reunited as she recovers from surgery. Palmer and the Governor make a Press Conference in which she publicly denounces the actions of the day. Palmer and Jack congratulate each other. Tony is pardoned, and he and Michelle reunite but she is forced to step down from CTU anyway for her questionable actions. Palmer informs Aaron's widow that he died a hero, and Spawn says hello to Angela over the phone. After the press conference, the Governor offers Palmer a job.

Palmer asks the Governor why President Keeler would want her dead. She tells him that it is about "honour among thieves". He doesn't understand. She tells him that Keeler found out that somebody wanted him dead, and he had to cut the threat off before it could do anything. Palmer still doesn't understand. She tells him not to worry about it, and he should call if he wants the job. Brad Hammond - who has just publicly resigned because of the controversy - arrives home. His house explodes. Across the street, a shady henchman phones the President and informs him that "another potential witness is dead". Keeler tells him to keep up the good work.

The screen splits into six - Michelle and Tony hugging, Jack and the 2nd-in-command hugging, Spawn and SACB on the phone to Angela, Rollaide watching the television news reports triumphantly, Palmer watching the Governor walk away - still going over what she said to him - , and President Keeler walking through the Residence. He rounds the corner and runs into one of his own seemingly loyal Secret Service agents who stabs him and says "The Governor says 'bad luck' by the way". We finish with the image of President Keeler bleeding out onto the carpet and attempting to cry out for help.

Kiefer Sutherland, Reiko Aylesworth, James Badge Dale, The new woman (playing Michelle's 2nd-in-command) and Dennis Haysbert are main cast members.

Carlos Bernard and Elisha Cuthbert are credited as special guest stars.

The rest - Michelle Forbes, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Glenn Morshower, Geoff Pierson, DB Woodside, Wendy Crewson - are all guest stars when they appear.

I started this in the other thread but felt that it's a bit wild really, for something that will actually happen next season!

Palmer, eager to find a way to repay Jack for his service over the years, gets a job at CTU. He keeps forgetting he's no longer in charge, and receives blank stares from the miscellaneous CTU employees he tries to order around. Kim reminds him several times that he works for her now. Chloe points out mistakes he makes every 3 minutes. When he says, "you'd better have some respect, missy, I used to be president!" she replies, "I like your energy, David. Use it."

Seinfeld-inspired: Jack quits CTU and on his way home gets into a car accident. He doesn't have car insurance or money, so the judge assigns him to be the victim's butler for a year in order to pay him back. Hilarity ensues.

Sopranos-inspired: Terrorist thread for the first part of the season, yada yada yada. At midpoint, Jack takes a nap in his car. Dream sequence! Black and white. Jack lives on a farm in Kansas with his wife, Kim and their dog Chloe. A tornado strikes, but Chloe is nowhere to be found. While his wife and daughter take refuge in the cellar, Jack finds the dog and hides in his home. The tornado picks it up. He passes out. He wakes up and opens the door. Technicolor!

The Cast:

Good Witch: Michelle
Wicked Witch: Nina
Scarecrow: Chase
Tinman: Tony
Cowardly Lion: Adam
Wizard: Palmer

Dream sequences! Of course!

The cast, sitting around CTU waiting for the van to come take Tony away, keeps nodding off and having weird dreams.

Jack dreams he's being chased (heh!) around by a giant disembodied hand holding a syringe.

Spawn, of course, has her recurring Season 2 nightmare, in which we all know what animal she's being chased around by.

Tony's nightmares would probably belong on HBO.

Michelle's dreams would find her filling the soon-to-be empty void in her love life by rendezvousing with a certain TWoP poster ...

Oops, now I'm dreaming.

Seaon Four should take place on a Daylight Savings day. Confusion ensues at 1am as people argue if they are putting clocks forward or backwards.

Hee!

Then all the computers in CTU crash when the time change happens and Chloe goes postal.

Chloe leaves CTU and goes to work as a teaching assistant in a local school. Her day starts at 10am where there's a meeting of teachers to discuss how to deal with truanting in school before the school inspection tomorrow. Chloe volunteers to curb this 'unprofessional' behaviour and is given 24 hours to hunt down the truanting kids before the school is shut down. Guest starring Kiefer, who turns up to shout "where is the truant? I need to know where the truant is now!" as well as "a hundred teachers will be sacked if you don't let me know where the truant is now."

Also! From episode 5! Chloe seeks out Kim, who understands the psychology of the truant, although her own lack of education leads to certain problems: "truantingwhatdoyoumean?"

Plus don't miss the hour that's bound to be nominated for an Emmy, 3am-4am, where Chloe moves two truanting young boys to tears by recounting the stern but kindly advice of her mentor of yesteryear, Ryan Chapelle.

After which he's told "You ruined all the lunches in the Frigidoom last year, and NOW you expect us to cooperate?"

Me, I can't wait for the episode where Chloe drags an unruly pupil into the principal's office and says "He hit a girl with a spitball. IN THE NECK."

I just had to say that the Wizard of Oz homage was brilliant and would be SOOOOO funny. I am working on my own goofy plot and will post more later but wanted to point out that I think we have to have Michelle dress as Mrs Peel again for no reason. It amused me to no end on the real show.

I'm waiting for a 24 plotline that somehow involves Kiefer/Jack on horseback. Maybe he has to chase the Taliban through the Khyber pass from Afghanistan into Pakistan? Or there could be a terrorist threat against the West Memphis 4-H Summer Rodeo and chili cook-off. Either way, he'd look really hot in the saddle, turban or no turban. Sure hope he doesn't have to grow a beard for the Taliban plotline (disguise)...I much prefer him clean-shaven. Yippee-eye-yay!!!!

BWAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!

Thanks to a freak accident involving a hacksaw, an ax, and a hidden power line, Jack is transported through time and the final frontier, landing on the USS Enterprise. He has 24 hours to help Kirk and Spock rid the universe of the evil Khan and the even more dangerous William Shatner Overacting Syndrome threatening to infect the entire crew.

From episode 6:

Jack: KHAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!
*GRAB!*
*SLAM!*
Who are you working for!!!

While in rehab, Jack decides to watch '24' in 24 successive hours. It all seems so weirdly familiar, except he reckons he's way better looking than the lead.

A disgruntled viewer terrorizes the Emmy Awards because all but one of the actors on his favorite show didn't get nominated!

Kim complains about Jack not taking care of his family. Jack asks for the morning off and takes Kim, Chase and Tater Tot out to spend quality time then back to CTU after a couple of hours. He takes them to a golf course and when he goes into the clubhouse to use the restroom (he is dressed ala Payne Stewart used to dress, RIP) and goes into the stall and then overhears two people talking about the plan and how they will enjoy everybody's surprise when they find out especially agent man.

He then follows them out and keeps track of them being one step behind dragging the family with him while they know nothing. He plays golf after them, goes to Disneyland, takes in a ballgame, then stays in a hotel outside one of their houses while they sleep for eight hours. Kim keeps asking if they can go home now but Jack wants to play charades. Kim accuses him of working a case and leaves Jack taking Chase and Tater Tot with her.

The final minutes tick down as Jack follows one of the men into what is ex-President Palmer's residence in LA. As the man enters the door, Jack grabs him from behind and pushes him forward then slams him against the wall.

Jack: WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?!!!!

The lights come on and everybody yells "Surprise".

Kim, Chase, Palmer, Wayne and Michelle are all there. Kim says that the only way they could get him away from CTU for his surprise birthday party would be to think he was on a case. She also says that the guy he just slammed unconscious was the caterer who was clueless about what was going on.

Palmer: Gee Jack. You're not sore are you? I mean, you're not going to use an axe or a hacksaw on us are you? (laughs)

Jack: (smiling) Wouldn't dream of it, Mr. President. Jack then whips out a chainsaw and hilarity ensues.

It's Christmas Eve and Jack has to make contact with someone who knows where the plans are for a time machine in which Al Qaida plans to use to stop the US from ever becoming a country.

Jack makes his way into the mall and sits down in Santa's lap. Santa asks what he wants for Christmas. He asks for the plans to a time machine and then he sees a red dot on his chest and moves out of the way quickly. Jack moves out of the way just before a shot rings out and Santa Claus goes down. Jack takes out his gun and shoots Frosty multiple times and he goes down dropping his gun.

Women are screaming and children are crying. Jack gets up and the elves start jumping on him. Jack shoots some of them then starts them kicking them left and right. He finally picks one up and threatens him until he tells him where the plans are. He tells him that its in Rudolph's nose but the only way to get it out is if the antlers are embedded in human flesh or else the nose blows up.

Jack picks up the elf and slams his body on the antlers and the nose pops off and Jack gets the plans. There's a final closeup of Kiefer and he says to the camera, "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night."

Jack is replaced by Gil Grissom, who immediately deduces that Spawn was the M-O-L-E all along! He produces fingerprints and DNA to back up his claim, but the most damning evidence comes from Spawn herself, who tearfully confesses, blaming Society and her absentee-asshole father.

Jack finally confesses that he is in love with Spawn, and this is why he has not punished her incompetence with death. Spawn confesses that she is not in fact his spawn. They spawn.

Chloe finally goes out into the field. Dressed in a black-leather suit (a la Catwoman sans the mask and headgear), she has to find someone pen drive that's still connected to a hidden labtop at a local nightclub. However, before she can get to it, she beats the crap out of several people.


Later, back at CTU, when Driscoll, Soul Patch and Johnson are interrogating/torturing someone, Driscoll has to take a call from Heller. She is forced to meet her recently kidnapped daughter in some unknown street. But it's a trap; Driscoll has no idea that her daughter is safe and sound over at Kim's house. Driscoll makes it to her destination and meets up with Chloe. Driscoll sees a limo that she thinks is holding her daughter. As the driver comes out to open the door, Chloe kicks Driscoll in the back of the knee, causing her to fall to her knees. Then Chloe immediately knees her in the back, and snaps her neck. Even though this kills her, Chloe shoots her a couple times for good measure and as a precaution that the job is completed.

From a large tower far away, Kiefer (glasses and a long coat) can be seen with an evil grin and all.

Keller's cell phone rings. He picks it up, but doesn't have to say anything. Palmer is on the other end, and says, "It's done" before hanging up on Keller.

Now that I-E-Sha (Marianne) is pretty much the mole as it stands right now, given her very rapid power surge:

She gets caught by Driscoll. However, before being tortured by Johnson, unlike Chloe, she rats out Edgar, and Edgar is now in trouble. To make matters worse, AIIIE-sha suggests to Curtis that they do the best they can to get whatever info they can from Edgar. Later, while Kiefer is beating up people somewhere and while TerrorDan and TerrorMom are drinking coffee awaiting the news on their son, we find out that Edgar's crying to his Mommy while being forced to watch and listen to Avril Lavigne music videos.

After the daring rescue of DaD and DoDaughter, Jack makes good on his promise to play by Driscoll's rules. He finds that his love for DoDaughter has inspired him to hang up his silenced 9, sniper rifle, chainsaw, and his penchant for mayhem, and contribute to the team in other ways. Tired of being a one-man killing machine, Jack opts to do what the rest of CTU does best - stare at computer monitors with a furrowed brow. He is given Chloe's workstation, and makes a startling discovery - he has no idea how to use Windows XP. The nefarious AIIIEEEEEsha sets Jack up for a fall when she shows him how to access Solitaire and hide it when the boss is doing her rounds. Jack also gains access to Chloe's Internet Explorer History files, and finds pages and pages of sites featuring fake nude photos of Renee Zellhoweverthehellitsspelled. In episode 6, Jack learns that by working at the CTU office, he's allowed to take an hour lunch, and so he goes to the Galleria, but is saddened when he sees that it is no longer a mall per se, but an office complex with a nice movie theater, a Starbuck's, a record store, and a Fuddrucker's. Midway through episode 6, Jack decides to go see "The Life Aquatic"; after all, he's Jack F***king Bauer and he's just saved the Secretary of Defense and he can go see a g**da** movie if he wants. This takes us through episode 7; Jack is confused, as he thought the previews for "The Life Aquatic" were funny, but it actually is more quirky than guffaw-inducing. Then we segue over to the TerrorFamily, who hook up the Nuclear Death Modem to their Commodore 64 and proceed to vaporize the entire country; the eastern seaboard and most of the west coast are rendered uninhabitable, and roving gangs of mutants vie for control of the remaing stockpiles of gasoline. Then Jack finds five dollars.