Mr. Hailey is 6’4”, and let me tell you, I look really small next to him. As a 5’8” girl, it’s one of the few times I fell small and cute. Tall guys forever!


That’s exactly what he meant. Grow.the.fuck.up. Unfortunately, that seems to have blown past her.


She actually turns 24 some time next week. She was on Extra last night talking about what she wants to do for her birthday. She said, “I want to see my husband.” Then they asked how it was going. She said, “I’m busy on the road a ton, and Nick is home playing ‘Mr. husband’. But that’s ok, he likes it.”

Poor Nick, please cut her loose. Free Nick!

So here's what Nick does while Jessica's away. Anybody have $10,000 I can borrow, no interest?

Nick Lachey on eBay

Actually, I think this is great. He seems to have several charities that he supports.

You just described my first (and only) marriage. He was 6'3", I'm 5'3". We were referred to as "Walking Tall" and "Walking Short".

I thought that at one point someone on the thread (weeks and weeks ago) said they saw him on TV, wearing it? Maybe he returned it after that. Besides being too expensive, I thought it was waaaaay too blingy for Nick. I mean, a man who loves a huge Miller Lite cake is probably not going to go in for the bling. Y'know?


Oh julia, I am glad you said it, I like her too and it's hard to keep that attitude when everyone has such valid criticisms of her immaturity and selfishness. Anyway, I still like her, but I feel bad for Nick at the same time. And I am grappling with my conscience about liking both of them, since they invited the cameras in. And yet...I can't look away!

And you nailed it about Mama Simpson. Pathetic. Poor Ashlee.

She may be a natural bubblehead, but I think she says a lot of stupid crap on purpose - you know, to see if 'ballerino' becomes the next "chicken or fish".

Is it really 24/7 though? Unlike Real World, they don't have cameras on them ALL the time. Wasn't the first season just 4 months of shooting? And even then, they didn't let the cameras go into the bedroom. I'm sure there are lots of events that we didn't see.

I have no doubt that she is a ditz, but I really do think that her moments of non-ditzyness are all on the cutting room floor, as they (her father, MTV, whoever) are taking advantage of the this hit show. It was made popular because of her ditzyness. It wouldn't help much to show her as anything but. I think that Nick and Jessica are in on it too, because even in interviews they don't try to convince too many people that she's not exactly like she is on the show. And if she is that dumb, then why again should anyone feel sorry for Nick? I'm sure she didn't turn dumb after they got married.


Well, we don't know if that's EXACTLY what he meant. And if it did blow by her, then why did he still marry her? If she hasn't met his expectations of a woman yet, he should have called off the wedding.

I have been reading this thread for a while and I cannot help but like Jessica. I like Nick too, but I think it is easier to show a 20-something ditz than a 30-something. I do think her parents need to stay away.

I think that if Nick stays home the most maybe he can help out the maid and pickup after Jess, but still keep on her to get her clothes off the floor. If the roles were reversed I think Jessica would be expected to clean up after Nick.

Cacee was so flirting with Nick, I hope she gets kicked to the curb soon. Jessica is barely home and Cacee the moocher could spell trouble. Although I think Nick doesn't like her, he threw around that "not getting laid" bit, Cacee may think she has a chance.

Regarding Ashlee I think their mother has decided to be a friend instead of mother since the girls are their providers.

The truly disgusting thing here is that you are totally right. Fan-tastic.

I agree with all who suspect her ditz act is just that, an act, or that at the very least it is exaggerated for effect. Since the entire show is sort of a publicity shot for her, I could totally see her, her dad, the producers, whatever, sort of setting up amusing situations. When she's stupid, everybody wins...except Nick! In any case, she can be terrible, and bratty, and nasty, and manipulative, but I can't help but like her. Goodness knows, I wish I didn't. It would make it easier to come to the boards, at least.

I don't appreciate her "virgin" thing or her lickable lotions, though. She should have more sense than to try to be so very sexual and yet to target herself to younger girls. It isn't responsible. Saving yourself is great, I am all for it if that is your decision...but talking about it all the time, with everyone, and even having it mentioned at your wedding, makes it all seem like a big show. It is just cheap and tacky. I don't know why that should surprise me, looking at her parents. I guess the hopeless ineptitude of her mom and dad are a large reason why I feel for her and like her. She's not a bad person, just misguided sometimes, I think.

I don't know where they were when that occurred, but in many states, it is legal to drink underage if your parents or legal guardians provide it to you. Ashlee's mother is still her legal guardian until she reaches 21. My parents didn't have a problem with me drinking after I turned 18 if I was around them at a family get together.

ITA!!! When she was called wallabies "koalabies" it was such an obvious attempt to create a new "platamapus."

Some interesting facts:

1. Jessica flat out told Ashlee not to do a reality show. Ashlee said so herself.

2. Later on Jessica told Ashlee, "I can't believe your doing a reality show too." Once again, Ashlee herself said this.

Any thoughts?

I remember that and (although Nick definately has his sexist moments) I really don't think he meant it in a sexist way. I think he was trying to say that she had to become "more of an adult" from that point on, as in "It's way past time to stop being a little girl".

And re the comments about Nick being shorter than Jessica, I don't think it's all that noticable, mainly because he has a good build and good posture. And he's not really short, is he? Just kind of average height.

And because I'm 12 years old, here's what Peter Dragon (the wonderful Jay Mohr on the much missed series Action) had to say about short guys who date tall women, "What do you do, go up on her?".

Like most people who do reality shows, they often wish they hadn't done one at all. I feel like Nick and Jessica, even with all the perks that have come from their show, wish they hadn't done the first season or at the very least, wish they'd stopped after the first season. Two failed albums were the motivator for the second season, in my opinion. My thoughts are that Jessica was probably trying to save her sister from having to give up so much of herself to strangers. Her life (well, I don't think Ashlee will ever be as big as "Nick and Jessica") is now open for scrutiny by any and everybody. She's become the butt of jokes already and there are bound to be more. Perhaps Jessica was trying to save her.

Its bad enough that the only reason she got a show in the first place was because she's Jessica's sister. Who cares about her making an album? I don't. Did they have to air on the same night? Are they going to have shots or visits from Jessica on Ashlee's show?

Or maybe she wants her sister to do her own thing and stop trying to do everything that she does. That's what real sisters think, right?

I'm confused. I thought Jessica was about 5'3". How can Nick be shorter than she is even if she is wearing heels?

The cameras are not, I repeat, not on Nick and Jessica "24/7". Per contract, there are set times and only so many hours per season. In the long-deleted posts from when this show was being recapped, there was information about this. Maybe now anyone interested can dig it up on MTV.com or somewhere.

Halllm, you're right about those under 21 being able to drink when in the company of a parent or guardian. I didn't think about that. But what I meant was that it's disgusting that Tina is promoting the fact that her underage daughter (raised in a Christian home by a minister father, ha!) is drinking vodka. Tina clearly is dumb as a sack of rocks and has no clue as to the stress Ashlee is under and how easily she could develop an addiction. The Simpson parents make me vomit.

This is actually a widely-perpetrated myth. Every state has enacted laws that read very simply that no one under the age of 21 may purchase, possess, or consume alcoholic beverages. Wherever Ashlee drinks alcohol and no matter how close she is standing to a parent, she's breaking the law and so is the bar/bartender/whoever that is serving her.

Edited to say that some states recognize a limited exception to this rule that allows individuals under 21 years of age to consume alcohol in their parents' home with their parents' permission. Minnesota, for instance, has such a law. It remains illegal in every state for a person under 21 to purchase, possess, or consume alcohol in a licensed establishment or, really, anywhere outside their parents' home.

I know Ohio has an exception for private clubs, KofC halls, Legion posts etc.

And, in some states, having any alcohol in you if you are under 21 means an automatic DUI if caught driving. A friend of mine's daughter got pulled over for speeding when she was 20. They gave her a breathalyzer test, and she was 0.03. It was enough to get her arrested and convicted. A warning to you under 21s out there.

Good to see the mom showing more of that good ole Southern Baptist side of herself. Not only drinking - but underaged drinking. Praise Jesus!

Heh. That should be Assley's catch phrase: She's soooo punk. Praise Jesus!

Does anyone know if Jessucka's tour is still selling badly or whether it's picked up now that the new season has started?

Well, I feel sorry for Nick for one reason and one reason alone. He clearly thought that after all that waiting, at least there would be some serious fornicating going on after the minister said "Go!" It's been pretty clear in episode after episode that there hasn't been nearly as much nookie as he was expecting. And as Jessucka so eloquently put it, if he cheated on her, she'd get a gun and shoot his dick off. While it's entirely his fault that he's married to a spoiled ditz, I have at least a little bit of pity for any married guy who's forced to jerk off in the shower.

I agree that Ashlee is just trying to follow her sister's footsteps and trying to be different. Jessica actually gave Ashlee some good advice.

I don't feel sorry for Nick if he is not getting enough sex. What if he is not any good in bed? or he is wanting something she is not comfortable with?
I don't know, but I think that Jessica is gone most of the time so she is tired and can't be expected to roll over everytime he gets in heat. Especially with cameras rolling around I can't imagine being in the mood at that time.

Are there any spoilers?

I gotta comment on this. There are lots of good Christian homes, including lots headed by minister fathers (and mothers) where drinking, per se, is not fobidden. You know, Episcopalians, Methodists, Lutherans, Presbyterians, etc. Drinking to excess, alcoholism, underage drinking, that's a different story, but most churches don't have any problem with the occassional after-work cocktail or wine with dinner or any of that kind of moderate drinking. Now, Baptists, particularly Southern Baptists, may be different, though I've known plenty of faithful SBs who have a beer every now and then and who don't get preached about. I know Skeevy Simpson Dad has made a big deal about virginity in his household, but I don't know if he's ever said anything about drinking.

Still, Tina making a big point that her underage daughter has some vodka in her drink to an on-camera reporter? Stupid. And skeevy.

Nick and Jessiac remind my of the apocryphul tale of the married couple who vist the doctor.....

"Doctor, we haven't been able to have a baby.
How long have you been trying?
Eight years. We slept together every night.
And you haven't been able to get pregnant?
Yes, it's been hard on our relationship.
Have you tried different positions for sex?
What's sex?"

However, I believe the Southern Baptist Convention really does frown on drinking. I don't know if they absolutely forbid it though.

One thing I'll give to Jessica is that at least she knows she was a pampered little princess and that maybe it might have been better if she had had a few responsibilities around the house.

I enjoyed the new episode.

If anyone cares, Jessica was correct in using the word ballerino.

Apparently MTV didn't realize this before they played themselves.

It's not in any dictionary that I own or the one online. Care to share your source?

ETA: Apparently "Ballerino" is a word in what I think is Italian. But as far as I can tell it's not used to distinguish a male dancer from a female one.

I also found nothing about the word "ballerino" by doing a search, I found this at a dancer's website


Nothing about Ballerino here.

ETA: I also found the word Ballerino only on Italian sites, but mightmos beat me to it. Jessica pretends to be stupider than she is because if she were TRULY dumb she would have called the creature a Koalaroo (Koala + Kangaroo). She wouldn't know a Wallaby from a Kangaroo.
Someone upthread mentioned Anna Nicole's whole Florida/Miami speech, that's all I was thinking during that speech, "Who is worse Jessica or Anna Nicole?". I even mentioned it to my Dad.

I tend to see it as more "get while the getting's good." This kind of attention won't last forever, so you take the most lucrative offers and (hopefully) figure a way to make the coin you're making now continue to work for you when you are no longer in such high demand. And I can't fault them for that.

When you have your first taste of fame and then see it fall away right quick, you'd best be way smarter about it the next time around. Most people don't get a next time.

I don't think there is any reason to feel sorry for either of them. They are both ridiculous when you look at this show. On one hand you want to feel sorry for Nick, but he let all this happen. Maybe he is a masochist...

I don't feel sorry for Nick. Didn't they date for several years? He had to know what he was getting into. Oh and Jessica....... Being stupid is NOT cute or sexy, it's stupid! Way to be a role model! I hope young girls don't start buying into this ditzy act.



I have danced for over twenty years. This is incorrect, male dancers are called Danseurs or simply male dancers. Danseurs

Which is a problem right there. She's soooo punk..."I want to be different just like everybody else!" Yeesh.

I mentioned this on the Ashlee board, I think she is about as punk as Elmo. It is really pathetic that she (and her parents, although they are so deluded I'm not surprised) actually thinks she is SO different from Jessica and is all bad-ass punk.

Watching Nick and Jess' is much more fun than the Bundies on Married with Children.

"Nick, you used to open my door when we got married."
"When we got married, I used to get laid."

A few articles I thought my fellow TWoP'ers would all be interested in:

A concert review talking about how she is all about Nick

Kidney infection

Dumbass with an eyelash curler

Oohhhhh, I like that review of her concert! "pieces fished out of Britney's slush pile"! What a great description!

And I know we've said it a thousand times, but she is such a dumbass. A 10 year old can handle an eye lash curler, for God's sake.

And just as a side note, would anyone else feel slightly uncomfortable having hundreds of pre-teens walking around in shirts that proclaimed "Mrs.[your husband's name]"? Not as a jealousy issue, but I would personally find it just a tad creepy.

Honest question, do eyelashes grow back?

Oh, I think so.

They're like any other hair, aren't they?

I would assume so. I mean you loose a couple of eyelashes a year that end up getting wedged in your eye. So two or three eyelashes a year times however old you are. If they didn't grow back old people would all have "bald eyes" (tm Jessucka).

ITA. However, seeing as Nick entered this marriage of his own volition, he had to have known what he was getting into. They dated for at least a couple of years before marriage, he certainly must have picked up on her personality quirks by then. If not, shame on him, and he deserves all the sexual frustration he's being bombarded with.

Nick definitely knew that Jess was moody and difficult but I'm guessing he wasn't aware of how bad it would be once they were married.

I don't think that Nick is unhappy in his marriage. Jessica is so set on being the perfect wife, that if he told her that he would leave unless she did "_______" she'd do it. His idea of a getting laid more is probably overexaggerated. If he wasn't getting ANY, I'm sure he'd either be cheating or getting a divorce.

Speaking of sex, I watched the rerun of the show last night and during the scene where Nick was watching the first game and grunting and moaning, it sort of maybe gave me some insight on what he sounds like in bed.

*heehee* Thanks for reading my mind! I totally thought the same thing!

Jessica is a dumbass, but I feel for her getting the kidney infection. Those can be serious if you don't catch it right away. I had one when I was 18 and had to take antibiotics for a year because the infection kept coming back. Good thing she hardly ever has sex with Nick, because that's about the worse thing to do when you have a kidney infection.

Not to mention, a ten year would have stopped using it if hairs kept coming out. Because you know there is no way that she pulled put all the hairs in one shot!

At the mall the other day, I saw this display of purses that say things like "Mrs. Depp" and "Mrs. Timberlake" on them, and I wondered, "Who the hell would buy something like that?" I guess pre-teens is my answer.

Tonight's a new episode, right? I just want to make sure I'm stocked up for the "Shut up, Casey" drinking game.

The picture in the The Daily News story looks like Jessica is being attacked by a flock of scarves.

I've always figured that Nick was one of those naive people who believed that their significant other would grow up/settle down once they got married. Only to discover, shock of shocks, they're the exact same person they were before you married them! I also think he bought into the time honored idea of being able to change the one you love (see: plan, five year) into the person you really want them to be, rather than realizing they are who they are (and loving them or not loving them as appropriate). So what I'm saying is that Nick is the woman here. And a sadly stereotypical one at that.


You better make the run to the liquor store now, it'll take you a while to load the necessary five to ten cases of your favorite malty beverage into your car.

The review is interesting in that Nick gets bigger reactions than Jessica does, and yet his CD sales flopped. You would think that some of that love would be transferable to the preteens with disposable income from Mom and Dad whether they liked his music or not.

I feel bad for Nick simply because I like him and don't like Jessica. And I don't like to see people I like with people who I can't stand whether they entered into the situation on their own volition or not. I don't have that "they made their own bed. .." attitude.

Maybe Nick just needs a non-vocal outlet to cash-in on the demographic. My personal, twisted favorite would be to have Nick guest-star on Smallville as Bruce Wayne...and to see if Nick can pull-off the slashy fun that is Smallville.

God, I have no idea why I am admitting this, but I, like Jessie, had an incident with my eyelash curler -- and 1/2 my lashes broke off. And yes, they grew back.

...crawls back into tiny, tiny hole...