Was Miss Simpleton running late and have to leave her hotel room before she finished dressing?
Bwah!

Jessica's outfit at the VMA's was just ridiculous, even Ashlee looked better than her.


Edited to add
This picture, just because I like the look the guy in the back is giving her.

It's like they pinned a rag to the front of her bra. Ashlee on the other hand, managed to look classy with lovely hair. She must have found a stylist other than Tina.

THANK-YOU! She really did look high/tipsy. She couldn't stand still at all, she initially walked right past the microphone and Ashlee had to call her back to the right spot, her speech was kinda...off. She was a little fucked-up.

Still shaking my head at Jessucka. The outfit was atrocious, and she should be damned ashamed of herself. The opened (gaping)mouth smouth-hidious!! There is a pic of her in People magazine with the same look-I can't figure if she's scared or smiling-it's like a big "O" in the center of her fugly face!! And the hair, good lord, EVERYONE else lost their weave for last nights VMA's yet here comes Jessucka with weaved in bed head....what the hell?

Which one? heh heh heh

I Loooooooooovvvvvvvveeeeee Jessica but at the VMA's? To use a line frm Kathy Griffin "SHe must have just taken some TrimSpa...(eyebrow thing)" She was looking and acting very Anna Nicole. Poor Nick but how could he let her go out like that she looked like a tattered shepard. Was that Little Bo Whore she was going for?

Jessucka=Anna Nicole, most hilarioius (yet true) thing I have read today. I'll tell you why Nick let her go out like that...He is tired of being run by Creeppa and the Simpleton clan, so he said f-it, let her wear whatever the hell she wants, and I'll tell her she looks gorgeous-while the rest of America laughs their asses off.

A round of 'thank you's for those links to Simpleton's pictures.

The authors of Go Fug Yourself are going to have a field day with that.

The photo where she's signing autographs makes it look like her head has become strangely detached from her body.

And when she smiles, she looks freaking demented.

Ah, Jessica Alba (soothes eyes).

Incidentally, who is that woman lower down wearing the black nipple dress. Tasteful!

Yeah, whose nipples are we looking at there?

Paulina Rubio's nipples. She normally dresses like that. I think it was last year that she had the super low pants with her thong way exposed and you could see butt cleavage on purpose.

Paulina something-or-other. Latin singer. My favorite part was the teeny, tiny, black thong.

Back to Jessica, "Style Icon" my ass. She really should be stripped of whatever faux trophy people have ever given her for style choices. My God.

I also have to agree that she was on something. The manic smile never stopped and her body language was all over the place.

Shifting gears, there was a small blurb in US Weekly about Pa Simp, Ashlee, and Ryan out doing shots and partying somewhere recently. I'm not sure who is sadder: Pa for hanging out drinking with his 20 year old daughter and sometimes-boyfriend or Ashlee and Ryan for hanging out drinking with her middle-aged father. Anyway, Pa toasted to Ryan and said, "I love this guy! If I had a son, he would be just like him!" I'm sorry ass, didn't you claim in the E!THS that Nick (your actual son-in-law) became your flesh and blood son the moment he married Jess?

After her whorrific clothing, I was most appalled by her & Ashlee hollerin' about being from the "dirty South". Sweetie, you are from Richardson - a middle-class, white suburb of Dallas. And your father was a Southern Baptist preacher. There's nothing "dirty" about the way you grew up. Your family was the epitome of middle America. I thought Ashlee looked great (for once), but do wonder what her image is going to be for the next CD. Little black dresses with ruffles & girly hair aren't very punk rawk!

The Simpsons are such sell-outs. Then, he's a non-drinking, Southern Baptist minister; now, he's drinking with his underaged daughter and whoring out both kids for money. Very classy.

Just saw the VMA outfit- holy crap! She looks like she just finished filming a gang-bang video & didn't have time to finish getting dressed. SKANKY!

And the shorts??? The exposed bra was bad enough, does the world have to be subject to the atrocity of "formal" shorts?

The worst part is both Beyonce and Hilary Duff have worn the "formal" shorts in the last few years to this very event.

And seriously, is the raccoon eye/nude lip combo played out yet? It didn't look good the last 9823749378 times she's worn it, and it certainly doesn't look good now.

She's too orange for an entirely nude lip. That said, I'm not sure which color would flatter it; maybe a soft brownish-copper tone?

I seriously, all jokes aside, question her sanity as of late. She's obviously on something...and if not then she should be!

I concur about the VMA outfit, am I delusional or did she used to actually dress nicely? What the fuck happened? I'll never understand why these people dress fuglier and freakier the more fame they get.



I disagree. They grew up in a very dirty way thanks to their parents, especially Joe. Not "dirty" in the way they implicated but in another dirty...nay...filthy way.

I just had to share this picture of PapaSimp gettin' crunk with Lil John at the VMA's. That is all.

I love Jessica, but have to agree that her outfit was terrible. I find it amazing that with all the money these people have, and all the free clothes they have thrown at them, they end up lookins so damn bad!!

BWAH!! I think she used the scraps left over from Brooke Hogan's dress!!

Brooke Hogan

And the straps and bra came from the scraps from this piece of crap this chick is wearing.

UGLY LACE DRESS

And the shorts were cut from this little number...

Kirsten Dunce LOL

Her hairstyle was donated courtesy of Daisy the Malti-Poo...

I saw Jessica "perform" on The Today Show a couple of weeks ago and after her first song she was interviewed by Matt Lauer. She had on her big fake high-wattage smile as she laughed and answered the obvious "So, are you and Nick doing ok?" question, but what I noticed most was that as they went to commercial, the minute she thought the camera was off her, her smile completely disappeared. Her face went totally blank.

And then I thought, ok, clearly it's all an act, but what about the people in the live audience? Didn't she think that they would notice how she turned it on and off? Weird.

I'm so glad to hear that Nick may have a sports announcer career starting. I have long thought that would be a great second-act for him. Good luck, honey!

As for the VMAs, I ran across an article about how People magazine pulled out of sponsoring Jessica and Ashlee's afterparty because of Jessica's extravagant demands. So, did they end up having a party? Where was US magazine in all this?

Sponsor Pulls Out

I think they still had the afterparty. Word is Steven from Laguna Beach was kicked out of it.

BWAHAHHA why was Stephen kicked out?

Here's the post from the LB thread:

From today's NY Daily News

Wow-interesting article in Ny Daily. Sounds on point. I wonder what he meant by "looked like a train wreck" upset,drunk, both?

I heard on the radio that in the gossip world it is common knowledge that Jessica has a coke habit. The on air personality was doing a morning show gossip roundtable and was talking backstage with the other gossips. The next day on air she was going on and on about how she was shocked to hear them discuss it backstage and the gossips were like "Oh, thats old news, but its one of those stories that will never get out because unlike the other young starlets who have been outed JS has her father out there cutting deals with the media to keep quite". Now before the VMAs I thought it was pure bull. She looks so much more together than say, Lindsay or Nicole Richie (both who also lost lots of weigh quickly and party hard) but after the the odd, manic behavior at the VMAs and the loose call on the bikinied booty shaking in the "Boots" video, I'm like, "Well, maybe." She does run with that fast crowd.

I usually dont read this thread and just realized this has probably been talked about before so I apologized if Im bringing up old dirt.

Wouldn't the upcoming divorce make a much better reality series than the marriage did?

I thought both sisters VMA outfits were a tragedy from head to toe. Jessica's top was cute but she ruined it with the bra. It was meant to be worn without one.

Jessica hasn't performed on the Today Show recently. If I am correct she has never performed on the Today Show.

The blurb in the Daily News is from the same reporter that claimed Nick and Jessica spent no time together at her birthday party and when she cut the cake he was clear across the room. One of the tabloids tv shows put him on the spot by interviewing the People mag reporter who was there with pics stating otherwise and his only defense was "I stand by my source". Okay. As for her partying without her wedding ring. All of the weeklies for some reason tracked her every move at every VMA related event in every shot she had on her wedding band.

Wendy Williams reported the Jessica Simpson common knowledge coke habit discussion amongst the wags "backstage" about three months ago. The same day she claimed Beyonce's father had stolen $20M from her and blew it all on coke, Jay-Z was her new manager, and her father had been fired. According to her it was going to be the scandal of the summer. Still waiting Wen. All of this coming from an ex-(or maybe not) cokehead herself.

Why would Creepy squash rumors about her being a cokehead yet let them have a field day with her being a whore and cheating slut boning any and every Jackass that has come down the pike. He is the one always shoving the virginal crap down our throats.

And what young starlets have been outed as cokeheads? Outside of MK Olsen I don't remember anyone from the ItGirl posse being outed as a downright coke head in the media. Paris, Lindsay, Jessica and co. have all been speculated upon. Besides I thought Paris' sidekick had already outted Jessica.

Both Simps on stage behavior at the VMAs was assinine. They are always trying too hard to be something they are not. That night they were trying to be down ass chicks. Because one must act this way when presenting an R/B award. Um, no. Then in all of the interviews directly after they snapped back into their skinny, bleached blond reality. Talking about their upcoming projects in a lucid manner. Fakey McFakes if there ever was one.

As for Nick, he was quoted in the new Us. He said he is going to be a reporter for ESPN doing special assignments and such for college games.
Rather him than Tom Arnold or Dennis Miller.

I can appreciate the fact that Nick tries to keep things about himself on the low. A direct opposite to Creepy and Co.

The wha, wha, what? I must have missed that one. I thought that Paris sidekick fiasco was because of everyone's phone numbers (but not Carson Daly's, I think), some cheesy poetic musings, and the fact that there were some embarrasing pics of Paris' herself. Was there more?

There were some text messages that surfaced that were supposedly from the sidekick. In them, LindLo texted Paris about seeing Jessica doing coke in a bathroom at a club down in Miami for New Years.

EVERYONE in young Hollywood does coke, its ridiculous, you go into the bathroom at any lounge, bar, club in Hollywood and its one big blow party.

Lindsay Lohan would know, she probably bought it!

Can you be more specific please.

Working in advertising in Miami, we get invited to a lot of clubs and parties, including some of the semi-private VMA parties.

You can assume that anyone you might see on MTV/Punk'd (Lohan, Simp, Reid, Wilmer, various RWers) rides the white horse, at least recreationally, at least when they are partying in somewhat private locations in Miami.

Jessica Simpson is like that damn weed Creeping Charlie that I keep having to expel from my lawn. Turn your back on it for a day or two and it spreads everywhere. In another month the only periodicals that won't have her on the cover are National Geographic and Popular Mechanics.

I thought I was specific...I don't mean that snotty btw...
Basically anyone you can think of does coke. It's just a common thing in Hwood. Like smoking cigarettes.

Simpson, Lachey to Sing at 9/11 Tribute
Ugh.

Bears v. Redskins
As if my being a Bears fan wasn't going bad enough already!

I can totally believe Jessica has a coke habit. The weight loss, her actions, they way she looks out of it so much of the time. You will notice that she is mostly with Cacee and her hair stylist, not Nick.

What I don't get is how Pa Simpson can keep it out of the tabloids. What could he possibly give them to get them to keep quiet? A story about Jessica's coke habit is going to sell a hell of a lot more issues than the 57th cover story of Jesscia and Nick claiming, "We're so happy and in lurve!"

And probably only Jessica's name will be mentioned

Listening to these 2 bastards singing makes me want to go blind & deaf.

Speaking of going blind & deaf, here's another edition of intouchweekly.com

And

usmagazine.com

Unrelated, but:



WTF? I rub my belly all the time and I'm not knocked up. That's retarded.

Budda?

Jessica, honey: you don't need to strike the same idiotic chin-over-your-shoulder pose everytime you see a flash. Yes, you know what I'm talking about. It's right there in InTouch and on the cover of US. You also did it several times at the VMAs. It makes you like a retarded Marilyn wanna-be, and you will strain your neck. Really, girl, don't force it so much. And while you're at it, try toning your maniac smile a couple of notches down. It's getting to be quite scary!

I don't know if its true but if it is, it'd be alot like the Beyone/ Papa Beyonce story. Apparently, he has been accused of sexual harrassment by more than a few young women (only one has made a semi-public accusation) and is involved in a less than Christian lifestyle.You never really read anything about it though. Only one tabloid wrote about it recently and it was buried way back in the mag. Under any other circumstances, that story would be cover worthy, but even the one who did report, softballed it. Its said to be because the family cuts deals every which way to protect their image, even though Daddy no longer is her manager, which is telling. Sounds like the same thing could be going on with the Simpson clan.

Anyway, I always thought the marriage (N&J) would suffer just because she is now so self confident and outgoing, where as their relationship used to be based on her being the shy and insecure little flower who needed Nick for reassurance. Now that she's being validated by damn near everyone (except this board of course!) youd think that'd cause some problems b/w them. The roles have changed so drastically, relatively quickly. Gotta create some major friction.

Jessica's on the front of Us Weekly again, (as Mississauga showed) but they didn't suck up to her as much as they normally do. For Us Weeky's number one fashion winner...it's not Jessica; rather, it's Nicole Richie. Us Weekly put Jessica back at number two.

Jessica as a cokehead rumor has been around for a while.

If it's really true, who knows, but it is popular among the youngsters in Hollywood, very popular, it's just one of those things that's kept underwraps, but they all know about it.

Anyway, I wasn't even coming in here to talk about Jessica being a cokehead in bathrooms of nightclubs like i've read, I was coming here about Nick getting a job with ESPN, good for him!

Here's a link!

Edited to add

It was also because of her notes she had in there, including a note between her and Lindsay Lohan talking about Jessica's 'blow' doings, aka coke. It was about Jessica doing blow in the bathroom of the Shore Club, and requesting blow during a previous visit to the club.

DoH has fallen to number 15, total box office of $77,466,000. Looks like it will have trouble hitting the estimated final of 85 million. While not a complete failure, it's definitely not a blockbuster.

Meanwhile Nick is stumping for one of his bandmates who is running for Mayor of Cincinnati. Jessica is nowhere to be seen.