Speaking of the video, I read in my morning paper that she told the interviewer that she is so "modest" she won't wear a bikini to the beach. But as the interviewer so snarkily mentioned "but is okay wearing it to wash a car in the video."

This is what makes Jessica so annoying to me - this "I'm so pure, good, etc." is belied by her actions. She was annoyed that Christian groups made judgments abotu the videos but Season 1 had her making judgments galore, particularly about Hooters girls. And now she is so modest she won't wear a bikini to the beach, but she'll don one for a low-class, low-rent video to improve the Simpson family's bottom line.

They're so cynical.

But wasn't there some news report a several months ago that said Jessica was making millions from her sales on QVC? What else is she selling, besides the Desserts Treats stuff--clothes and jewelry? I remember the article talking about her as if she were rivaling Suzanne Sommers, who is the Queen of QVC in terms of sales.

Every time I see the DOH ad where she talks about her "undacarrige" I'm reminded of the poster who was baffled by Jessica, a southerner from Texas, being unable to do a real Southern accent. So true! Well, so far today I've seen three movie reviewers on TV trash the film and most of the actors in it. It should sink out of our sight soon, I pray.

The headline in the weekender section of my newspaper today says, "Biggest crash in 'Dukes'? The song." Heh.

The Boston Globe review gave the movie 2 stars and the reviewer thought Jessica Simpson was the best thing in it. He even thought her stubby short legs went on "for weeks". Damn yankees :)

Which is so weird because there are pictures of her in a bikini all throughout her Driven episode. She was a teenager and at the height of her "Christianity". But now, when she's a skank, she's modest? My head spins.

Here's the first paragraph of the LA Times review and, frankly, there's no need to read any further:

I'm betting that Kennth Turan, the critic, was thinking "They don't pay me enough to watch this crap" during the entire sceening.

It was really hard to watch, she couldn't make her dance steps (or whatever she calls them) blend together.



Modest my ass!!!

To make up for the idiot at the Globe and for anyone who doesn't have a paper and review at end, here's a great review from Reel.com, a web site that exists to sell people movies, and they're basically telling us not to consider seeing it buying it or even ever watching it for free. It ranks up there with Gigli, half a star. Hee.

One of the local radio stations was reviewing the DoH. Not very favourably I might add.

Then to add some extra snark, they played some segments of interviews with Jess.

In the first one, she's trying to say Massachusetts and it keeps coming out Massatwoshits.

Second one she says she's terrible at karaoke, but she can't pronounce karaoke, she pronounces is croaky.

Third, she's talking about Daisy Duke and says (I quote):

'It's an iconish, is that a word?, role.'

And last they read in an interview where she says she's not 'dumb' just 'ditzy'. Subtle distinction there Jess, and you're wrong anyway.

TWO?! The Chicago Tribune gave half a star, and our local town paper gave it a whoppin' jack squat. Neither really mentioned Jessica's "performance", with the local saying it wasn't worth mentioning and the Trib saying basically that her ass is there to distract one from the crappiness of the movie.

Rogert Ebert gave the film only one star, and I must love his opinion of Jessica:

Only 18% fresh so far on the Tomatometer.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0377818/

IMDb's page on it... 4.1 out of 10 so far, one 1 out of 10 review. The movie's been out all of one day and they've already got two continuity errors on the page.

edit- hey, I'm a Channel Surfer now. *dances*

Oh my god, Papa Perv Simpson is on with Jimmy Kimmel. ishy, ishy. I can't watch.

In response to gossip, he said he was on the phone with lawyers today about the Cindy Adams report that the divorce papers are signed. He's saying it isn't true.

This movie shits, and I mean shits, all over my childhood.

I wanted to be Daisy Duke when I grew up. Actually, I wanted to be a roller skating cocktail waitress on a cruise ship--which managed to combine my triple threat passions of Daisy Duke, Xanadu, and The Love Boat.

Jessucka's accent in that trailer is nothing more than a really, really shitty impression of Julia Roberts' accent in "Steel Magnolias." (Super shitty impression, man) Bounce this into your undercarriage, trollop.

My fondest wish is that everyone who sees it will leave within 30 minutes and demand their money back. Maybe there could be a class action lawsuit for intentional infliction of emotional distress.....

The sad thing is that Catherine Bach, who played the original Daisy Duke, is the antithesis of Jessica Simpson. She was actually an intelligent women who accomplished a great deal in her post-DoH life. Privately, she must weep when she sees what Jessucka did to her 'iconish' role.

Wasn't Chatherine quoted as saying this movie was OK?

intouchweekly.com

Awwww.... Poor Jessica (NOT). Her favorite role model Reese Witherspoon hates her guts.

The Daily Show aired some of the "Boots" video, so I saw it for the first time last night. This is the woman who thought Hooters waitresses were sleazy?!!

As a Bostonian, I am quite offended by your comments... :)

Most of the reviews I've read discuss how great Jessica looks, more than the acting or how true to form the story is. That's when you know a movie sucks.

Wow, I didn't know it was possible for me to like RW more than I already did (Legally Blonde 2 aside, of course).

You know, I'm a big magazine buff in the summer (gotta read them outside), and I've read that specific Reese Witherspoon comment twice now. I read it first in the newest Marie Claire. Reese Witherspoon is interviewed, and not once in the article does it say "Jessica Simpson" when the comment about the blondes was made. Then, I read it in In Touch and they claimed that Reese stated "Jessica Simpson" during that comment.

I wish I had the quote, but I'm not sure where I put the magazine. I just thought it was interesting that I read the same quote twice in a week in two different magazines, especially since one of the magazines embellished a little, you know?



I read a bunch of reviews too, and I noticed that. No one comments on Jessica's acting at all. She's just eye candy now.

I can just imagine the critics salivating to get their teeth into this one. Loved this quip from Rolling Stone:

Ebert and Roeper gave Dukes two big thumbs-down. They said Jessica acted like English was her 2nd language, and not to quit her day job. They also said she must have had most of her parts in the film cut due to her atrocious acting, because she is hardly in it.

Considering she was in Baton Rouge for two?three? months, she must either take an embaressingly-long time to tape the 10 minutes she's in the movie or they must have cut most of her scenes. Either way girl is no actress and the "ditzy" is no act. Or it could have been a big lie so she could spend quality time with her trainer away from Nick....

I wonder if the producers who cast her in the Private-Benjamin-knockoff are trying to find ways to drop her after seeing DOH?

Hehe. I just saw that and IIRC, Ebert then followed it up that maybe she should give up her day job too.

If this was about a year ago I might have felt sorry for Jessica. I liked her when she first came out. She was beautiful and I thought she was cute on her tv show. Ditzy but I found it endearing.
But everything changed. I don't find her endearing in interviews. She turned into a barbie doll. Too fake looking. And she doesn't know when to stop. Fine you're a big star now Jessica but there is such a thing as too much publicity.

damn..that criticism is a bit harsh...do they normally attack actors (yeah, right) personally?

I read a review that pointed out Daisy never interacts with Bo and Luke during the entire movie.

The good; by next week we should no longer be forced to hear Jessica talking about her undah-carraige.

This may be the most entertaining review yet...James Berardinelli

Of course, the mention of Jessica is the best part

*evil cackle*

Box Office Mojo predicts the movie will be #1. Great! Now she gets another 15 minutes and will never go away.

Thank you! I knew I heard that accent before, I just couldn't remember where I'd heard it. Oh Jessica you don't have a drop of creativity or intelligence to make something your own. Your music is full of rip-offs of much better artists and your acting is some recycled shit from the 80s. Give it up girl. Live off of your Newlyweds money and admit you suck.

I don't think Papa Simp will let her, he's, I mean she's worked so hard for this.

I'm not surprised that DOH debuted at #1. Nothing else that was widely huge opened this weekend; it had no competition except for movies that have been out for a few weeks all ready. That's probably why it did so well for its first week despite its horrible reviews.

At 7PM ET tonight, an " E! True Hollywood Story " on Joe Simpson & his daughters`ll debut. I know those in this thread have the DVRs set!

That is it on the nose! I always wondered why Julia Roberts sounded so fake, especially since she's originally from Georgia, and now I wonder the same thing about Jess since she's from Texas. I'm from Long Island, and I can make my accent go away if I think about it, but I can always get it back, wouldn't they be able to do the same with the southern accent? I just don't get it.

I haven't posted on this thread in about a year and a half (pretty much because I lost interest in N&J a looooong time ago), but I cannot escape the publicity tour for DoH, despite the fact that I don't buy entertainment magazines and rarely ever watch magazine shows. However, I was just wondering if anyone knows how much the movie made because Dickie Roberts opened up at #1 and it only took in about $7 m.

I heard somewhere that this movie is having the most widespread screening ever, so the movie should take in at least $25-$30 m.

It made $30.6 million. Now everyone is going to think that Jessica Simpson is an absolute moviestar because she made a crappy movie #1. Is there anyway possible that we can shipped Jessica Simpson, Mr. Jessica Simpson, Mr. Ashlee Simpson (Ryan Cabrera), stupid Pa, stupid Ma, Sean William Scott, & Johnny Knoxville on a one-way ticket to Compton, East LA, Camden NJ, Chester PA or South Bronx?

Bobby & Whitney can kick Mr. & Mrs. Jessica Simpson asses any day of the wk.

I am visiting family in the south, big NASCAR area, and I can honestly state that there is a big push for the movie here. They had the front of the movie theater roped off for the "general Lee" car. I figure that they are spending a bundle on advertising this movie, that will only detract from its profitability in the long run if they don't succeed with the buzz.
I went to the march of the penguins and that was full as well without the massive advertising campaign.

Jessica is using the "fake" southern accent to play up what she thinks is "cute". However all it does is make her sound stupid and any southerner who is proud of the fact they are from the south(such as myself) would never intentionally try to make themselves sound like that. We all know it only makes you sound like an idiot. Sandra Bullock didn't sound that stupid when she was in YaYa which was based in Louisiana. She sounded like Sandra Bullock.

Jessica just doesn't know any better and unfortunately has herself surrounded by people who only kiss her butt instead of being straight wth her.

Or wherever Jimmy Hoffa is....


ETA: Not Nick though

Why not Nick? Whatever dignity he had a long time ago is not there anymore. He sucks & he's not very talented or very bright. The damage has been done.

I also added Asslee to your list, dignity has been long gone from that girl, and there never was any talent.

WhatWhatWHAAATT!?!?!?

I don't think the movie opening at #1 will mean much if it fades away next week and I think it will.

It was a heavily promo'd movie opening on a weekend where nothing else opened other than some small independent films.

I think this movie is going to sink, and I'm sure it cost more than $30 million to make. Soo...

Want2Sleep: That's OK if you want to add Ashlee on the list. I also that she has no diginity, talent, or a brain cell. But, she's cute & unlike Jessica, I'm not being shoved Ashlee Simpson junk on a daily basis. She has a nice cute baby voice & that's the only good thing about her.


Anybody watched the suckfest on True Hollywood Story? Basically sucking up to poor little Ashlee, stupid bitch Jessica, Mr. Jessica Simpson, & Jessica's horrible parents.

Oh wait, it gets worse, much worse, True Hollywood Story was pimping Jessica's role on Dukes of Hazzard with those 2 posers Sean William Scott & Johnny Knoxville telling us how great & sexy she was working in that movie.

We found out that Pa is developing 2 shows & Mr. Ashlee Simpson & Mr. Jessica Simpson will be involved in the 2 shows.

Then they we're shilling E! Filthy Rich Cattle Drive because Pa Simpson had something to do with the show & it was on their network. Now, I can't watch that crap because he's involved in that show.

And these people called themselves Christians? If these people are Christians, then I don't want to be a Christian anymore.

I guess Britney's getting too quiet for People, as now they have a small picture of Jessica on the front page with her getting in shape. I guess I don't get it; why is everyone going on about Jessica getting into shape? Girl wasn't fat before so I don't see why they keep on gushing on how she looks so good now.

They also were gushing on how Jessica didn't need acting lessons at all. What I kept reading in the reviews was that Daisy Duke was just sexy, dumb, and didn't have a huge part in the movie. Jessica is bright enough to play herself, y'all. She didn't need a trainer to help her with that.

I didn't watch the whole thing, but it seemed like everytime I turned the channel the editor from US was involved in the sucking up. Not a surprise. I stopped reading that mag months ago.



I'm sure PaSimp is twisting it all around to pimp his daughter as a big box office draw anyway.

TV Guide did a poll for an article called "The Best and Worst of Reality TV", guess who came out ahead on "Which reality-star couple would you trust to raise your child?", with 54% of the vote. You really should click on the link to see who the other choices were. TVGuide.

[OT]Heehee, Bobbaaay! and Crackney tied w/Cletus and Brandine. Oh man, the poor Cletus Fetus![/OT]