You should consider yourself lucky. I can't make it through a pleasant evening of bad television watching without seeing a commercial that includes that dimwit and her bad accent talking about her undercarriage.

What makes me want to weep for the future of the movie industry is that Jessica is getting higher billing than Burt Reynolds or Willie Nelson. PaSimpson really is the Devil.

Huh, so Ms. Simpson can't really include a "beauty line" as one of the notches on her career belt. I had no idea she was just a "spokesperson" or whatever, but I guess she is as long as the company is in trouble. I bet anything that if that line was doing tremendously well or something, she would be painted as the brainchild behind it, no doubt by PaSimp. Ugh, I hate her. HATE her! Never knew a complete stranger could ignite this hate in me!

I also wanted to add that I clicked on the In Touch link and the cover this week is of Jessucka's plastic surgery scandal, and when I saw that I was surprised no one has mentioned it before. I have always thought there was something different about her face now compared to then, maybe in the nose, maybe in the eyes or something. I'm surprised awfulplasticsurgery.com has not said anything either, some of the stuff they post on there is stretching it IMO.

I've spent the last few days reading every. single. post. of this thread, and either I missed it or no one has noticed this little gem. Sucks that EZBoards got attacked and most of their boards got killed, I'd have loved to indulge my masochistic streak by checking out the atrocities you guys posted from that one forum. Was it a fan page or what?

Regarding the alleged deterioration of Jessucka's voice: I remember hearing one of her early singles (I think it was "With You", the video showed her fake-dancing in front of an airplane IIRC) and thinking that her voice was screechy as all hell even then. Just my own humble.

I could almost swear that I saw JSimp in the awfulpasticsurgery archives. They were analyzing her breast lift and a possible eyelid lift or something. Ah yes, here's one about her duck lips. And a breast lift. Here's another one. And another. Not done yet.

I couldn't find the eyelid one, I got really distracted. Some of the analyses they have on that site are a bit reachy, since much can be done with makeup, haircolor, lighting, camera angles, a tan, and the basic aging process. But sometimes it's obvious.

Man I love that site. I feel so much better about myself.

I must be lucky; I can't recall seeing an ads for DoH yet (I guess I just jinxed it).

I've seen two previews for it. She looks fairly slutty (the camera sloooowly pans up her legs and ass as she's bent over the General Lee or something while porn music plays) and doesn't seem to act very well at all, but I doubt that really needs to be said.

Does anyone have any pics from her stint on Leno last night? I have a male friend who used to be in love with her a few years ago. I was quite surprised and amused when he told me she looked sickeningly thin and unattractive because of it.

intouchweekly.com

And people are wondering why I want the Dukes of Hazzard to fail.

Here are a few pictures of her from last night’s episode of the Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

Us Weekly had a little article about Jessica's interview with WGN. (the one where she couldn't name the recent Supreme Court nominee; not to mention she struggled with naming the celebrity who came with these clues: carries a dog, is engaged to a guy named Paris, and says "That's hot!") They said that "Jessica's playing the lovable ditz again!" Jessica is not playing anything, no matter what her family says. She's not that bright, and I don't love her for it.

Apaprently I _DID_ jinx myself; I saw about six ads for that movie this morning...

Jessica looked really good on Leno and I was absolutely in love with he rblack dress to be honest.



I won't fault her for not knowing any of this information because let's be real, many don't know who the Supreme Court nominee is. As for the latter part of this quote, I just had to ask my thirteen year old cousin to read this and tell me who the celebrity was and she came up with nothing as did I. I don't feel like googling it just because I'm pretty sure when I find out who it is, I'll be disappointed I wasted any time on searching. Should I know who it is because I'm feeling a little bad that I don't.

It's Paris Hilton.

Now on to my "should I feel dumb for not knowing" question: Are they breaking up, or is it just a rumor again? I couldn't find an InTouch or anything else with news at Walgreens last night.

(edited to slightly improve clarity)

I don't think Jessica looks sickeningly thin in the Leno photos. I don't think she looks pretty either but that might be because I hate her personality.

I just wish she and Nick would divorce already. It is painfully obvious that they don't spend much time together and they are uncomfortable in each other's presence. I watched an interview with Jessica and Nick where she was talking about being in Baton Rouge and how it was really good for her and she kept stumbling over her words and looking at Nick for approval and he just stood there with a kind of half smug/half annoyed look on his face.

You're far stronger than I... I can NOT stand to listen to her speak, and must rely on the printed word for whatever "news"/gossip there is.

It is very hard to watch her speak. She sticks her chin out and makes dramatic movements with her mouth as she over emphasizes every word. It isn't a pretty sight.

I always thought she was beautiful but lately she has just gotten so rough looking. The overlining of the lips has always bothered me but she has completely lost all softness she ever had in her face. None of my guy cousins or friends think she is hot. In fact one of them said she was a dog. I wouldn't take it that far but she definitely has done a good job or ruining her natural beauty.

Welcome to my hell.

I saw her on some show or other this weekend, and she said she worked out two and a half hours a day to get the new look. So now she's going to endorse a treadmill so we can all get her look. Because what American woman doesn't have two and a half hours a day to work out?

Did Leno ask her about the divorce rumors? What lies did she spin?

So true, and so disturbing. I really think she does that on purpose because it makes her loveable and adorable. So wrong.

During the second season of her show when she was doing the photo shoots for the line, she was claiming it was "her" line, and she certainly implied she had a hand in developing it. She sure distanced herself from it quickly when the money problems arose. I can't believe that anyone in their right mind is considering working with her.

If you have the stomach for it, watch the 'Boots' video. Turn the volume off (I suggest) and watch her mouth. She twists it all over the place. At one point it looks like she's doing a Popeye impression.

At the very end, she's washing the hood of the Charger and she looks at the camera with what is supposed to be a 'lusty' look. To me, she ends up looking demented.

Holy crap... CRACKMOUTH!

Bobby Brown does the same thing... apparently it's a side effect of using crack.

On her duck lips - It is sort of humerous to me that the worse puffed lips I have ever seen are on Nancy Sinatra - who did the original Boots song. WIth Nancy. her lips are now one quarter of her face. I really wonder about people who go overboard on Plastic Surgery and about the doctors who do the surgery.

I agree that there is something funny about people who get plastic sugery, the ones who get a face lift (Cher's first one was in her twenties as a preventative) generally have very wide smiles because of their stretch taut skin. With eye jobs, you tend to get a slight oriental look. All lip puff jobs look overdone to me, I know it is a fashion, but an unneccessary one. Usually, people are born with the face they should have. About the only thing that I find justifyable, besides accident repair and the odd birth defect, is the nose job and that has to be carefully done to not give you a "fixed" look.

I think there is something unappealing about any randomly changed face, the proportions get all screwed up. In the boots video, besides the whorish behavior, the face does look odd, very odd. Even her hair does not look particularly good. Oh well, as long as Nick is happy snort.

WORD. I simply can not watch her sing, it's excruciating what she does with her face and mouth.



WORD again.

I can't imagine how bad TDOH movie will be. Thank doG I don't know anyone who wants to see it. Even the few guys I know who do think she's hot don't want to see it.

Nick and Jess should break up already.

When I was driving home from work tonight, I heard a gossip segment on the radio and they claimed that Nick and Jessica have already filed for divorce and signed papers, but are waiting until after her premiere to announce it.

I don't know that I actually believe this, as I have seen several clips of them lately looking decently happy together, but that appears to be the word on the gossip vine.

If they filed, would it be public record?

I'd link the MSN article but it won't be valid for more than two or three days (They don't bother assigning every story it's own id number in the http address so even if I did link it, it wouldn't be about Jess & Nick in a few days).
It basically said that Cindy Adams started this rumor and it's not true.

Thanks for clearing that up, torianne. I thought it sounded a little suspect.

If they really are doing okay, relationship-wise, I do feel bad that they are subjected to this constant onslaught of gossip columns saying "They are splitting any day now!!" That has to get tiresome.

You know , this is getting old. If they are happy leave them alone, if they aren't, don't make up rumors Cindy,that's really rude.

Yeah, it's probably rude, but I like to think of it as cosmic payback for shoving their marriage in our faces for all those months. "Congrats Jess on working your ass off to make sure we talk about nothing but 'Nick and Jessica' for the last two years. Oh, this isn't the part of your marriage you wanted us to talk about? Sorry."

Be careful what you wish for Jess, it just might come true.

I feel the same way. Wasn't Jessica going to write a book on marriage? Whatever happened to that? Snerk.

You need to learn how to read before you can write a book.

But she did write a wedding planning book before the show started. Her Book

I didn't stop to read it, but in the supermarket today there was a magazine cover with side by side photos of Jennifer Anniston and Jessica Simpson with the title reading something like "happier alone" .

Jessica Simpson was getting interviewed by the DJs on a local radio show today. It was painful to listen to; she couldn't say anything well. She stuttered, gave long pauses, and kept repeating the words "You know" whenever she could.

I waited to hear if they would bring up Jessica's verison of "These Boots are Made for Walkin'," as the DJs the week before were tearing it apart, saying how horrible it was. All they commented on was the Christian groups calling her "slutty" because of the music video. For once, I would love someone to tell Jessica, "You know, you don't make good remakes." Give her some honest feedback; do not suck up to her.

I actually agree with you but Cindy Adams is as old as my grandma and shouldn't even know who Nick and Jess are let alone make stuff up about them.

Tonguebathing new interview. Could the author be any further up her ass?

I'm not a prude, but last I looked humping a car in a bikini wasn't exactly 'wholesome'. She doesn't seem to realize her attempts at acting are already comedy.

Now she's just lying. Wasn't she constantly prancing around in skimpy bathing suits on the show everytime they got near a beach or body or water? And of course there was the infamous topless sunbathing during Easter.

People take her seriously. Seriously. Her. The mind boggles. Boggles.

This weekend's E! True Hollywood Story features the whole Simpson clan, and calls Ashlee the "wild child sister". Huh?

Johnny Knoxville is on Howard Stern right now, Howard made him take a lie detector test about whether or not he had sex with Jessica. He was asked if he had sex with her and he said no-he was telling the truth(according to the test), was asked if he tongue kissed Jessica he said no- it was a lie (according to the test), asked if he pleasured himself to thoughts of Jessica, he said no- it was a lie (according to the test). Howard also asked him if Johnny considered Jessica to be a idiot, he said no-and surprise, surprise he lied.

Cindy Adams, the NY Post's gossip columnist who said yesterday that Nick and Jessica were divorcing, is standing by her story.

Here's the link:

http://www.nypost.com/gossip/cindy.htm


I saw the promo for the E! THS last night - considering its boasting new interviews with Ashlee and Jessica, both of who are made up to the nines and flatteringly lighted, I sense we're not going to get a lot of true inside dirt. And as Pa Simpson is EP of that Filthy Rich Cattle Drive show E! is premiering soon, I expect a true puff piece extolling the virtues of the Family Simpson.

This morning on Howard they had Jonny Knoxville on and they hooked him up to a lie detector test and asked him if if he slept with Jessica Simpson... I had to go to work so I missed the results so if anyone heard!!!!!!! Please post!!!!!!!!!

From the interview link posted above...



I think her definition of butt cheeks and my definition are way different. From what I heard about the movie, I won't be seeing it unless I find a copy somewhere. I don't think I am going to waste money on it.

Look up 3 posts and read the FAQ about reading before you post.

Sorry Hailey...

I was listening to the show and came in to work and immediatly posted... I didn't think that the segmant was even finished yet when I posted... Again Sorry...

Also from that Yahoo! article:



Soooooooo, instead of portraying yourself as a strong woman on your REALITY show, you choose to portray that as a FICTIONAL character that plays dumb in a FICTIONAL movie that happens to be a "brainless" comedy? Uh huh....

You made my day, Punk Pixie

BWAH - I needed a good laugh.

I heard on the radio that Jess will be on the first cover of the new OK magazine which is basically another Star or In Touch. The original photo was of her and Creepy Pa Simpson, but apparently people were to disturbed by it and they used a photo of just her. The DJ couldn’t understand how the photo could weird people out, whereas I couldn’t think of anyway a photo of the two of them wouldn’t creep me out.

bwah ha ha! Did they specifically ask if he gave her a rim job, as the reports have been saying? And, ew.

Jess was on one of the morning news shows and it was pointed out by the interviewer that her "#1 fan Nick Lachey" was backstage watching Jess's dog Daisy, stating he has "dogsitting duties." Poor Nick.

Well Howard did ask him a question that wasn't allowed on air....I'm not sure what the question was..Im in NY and I know there is a delay b/c of the FCC and what not. However, Gary-Howard's producer, alluded to the question having something to do with something about toilet paper or something you do in a bathroom, something to that effect....I'll look and see if I can find out what the question was.

Anyone else watch Jessica "performance" and short interview on Letterman last night?

I hadn't realized how dreadful the song actually is without the video. The video is the type that has enough quick cuts and extra action that you don't really notice how terrible the song really is. It's shouldn't be sung live and it certainly shouldn't be sung live by Jessica. Talk about zero stage presence.

I knew she couldn't dance, but it just got uncomfortable toward the end. Something about a white girl trying to rap while striving for "sexy" in an all-white Boss Hog three piece suit. Yes, it was as bad as you're imagining. She also attempted the Beyonce Crazy in Love booty shake and failed miserably. I've seen Beyonce, and you Jess, are no Beyonce.

The interview was the standard, "Nick and I are soooooo in love. Of course people like to say we aren't, but we are [/snots]" crap. From what I could tell, Dave thinks she's a dumbshit too.

Word to your entire post, Hailey. I had the displeasure of seeing her this morning on GMA. Oh, dear. How amazing is it that, having watched a completely different performance, I could repeat everything you said? Ditto to zero stage presence and no dance skills. All she basically did was grind her hips back and forth . . . not exactly dancing, IMHO. Naturally, she was wearing the cut-off shorts. Thank God there was no car on stage for her to "wash." Because, eeewwww.

The video really didn't highlight how poor her stage and dance skills are, because of the quick shots Hailey mentioned and the fact that you could choose to pay attention to the far more talented dancers. This morning, all by herself, her limitations were obvious. The awkwardness, the not-sure-what-to-do-next posture, were in full effect.

The reviews have been pretty harsh, even though the NY Post seemed to like it. Maybe they were paid to not trash it like every other publication is doing. Unfortunately, analysts are predicting that DOH will yield a big box office this weekend. Which will mean - wait for it - DOH II!

edited because it's nice to complete a post you start!

Unsurprisingly, the movie reviewer for The Washington Post haaaaates DoH. A few choice tidbits:

"So loud, so long, so dumb."

"Burt Reynold's face is fozen like a Dairy Queen sundae in January, Jessica Simpson appears to be constructed of some luster-free flesh substitute distilled from an advanced petroleum product, and the two boys playing the Dukes are charmless, charismaless and, generally, clueless.

"Simpson never appears to be either (a) comfortable or (b) from Planet Earth."

Is anyone else getting better reviews in their area?