I think Nick and Jessica are well on their way to taking the same route as the Osbournes.

Two seasons of The Osbournes were relatively well received. The kids got offers to appear everywhere. They had dozens of projects in development. Sharon gets her own talk show. Kelly's songs are on the charts. Then one day they were suddenly overexposed, and everyone was tired of them. I guess it occured to people that they couldn't sing or act. And that Sharon just didn't cut it as a talk-show host. The Christmas Special was the last straw. And did anyone even watch the third season?

I think Nick and Jessica are on the same career trajectory. Nick's career is essentially dead. Jessica's record company is pushing her to make the last buck they can before it's all over for her. Her sit-com was pulled. Her attempts to play Daisy Duke -- or appear in any movie -- smack of desperation. I think they have a couple more specials lined up, but if they're as bad as the first, no one will watch. The first one wasn't even train wreck good; it was just stupid. And it's finally occuring to people that she can't sing. And both of them sucked really bad at acting and/or reading from cue cards.

I have a feeling the third season was just be really, really boring. And then they'll go away. Or maybe I'm just desperately hoping.

How long will this be? I am getting tired of waiting for Nick to move in with me and make gay porno.

Fun article in the New York Post today about the new season. Best quote:



Sounds like the man is smartening up somewhat.

The line for the DVDs starts behind me.

Heh, she must not have kept up with her end of the "sex guarantee".

I just don't understand letting that much of your marriage be up for public viewing. You (apparently) hardly ever have sex, you're a moron, your career is failing... I'd be too mortified to be on TV.

I've heard it. Heck, I've said it. As a 5'3er, I would love to add some inches -- it's the one thing I WOULD change about myself physically. Weight gain isn't as immediately apparent -- ten pounds on someone 5'3 as opposed to someone 5'8 is a different world. Clothes hang better, etc. There's a reason models are tall. I'm not saying I want to be six feet tall, or that six foot women are prettier than shorter women. For the most part, short's 'cute', but tall is 'elegant, lissome'. Of course it's all relative to body type and weight, but you know what I mean.

I would totally lie about my height if I could, and wouldn't be surprised if Jessica does too. Also, guys are totally sensitive (and lie) about height issues...Nick's not going to want someone going "hey, if she's only 5'2, and he's only that much taller than her...blah blah blah"

Didn't you hear? LOUD is the new GOOD. The God's on the American Idol board told me. It must be true.


Amen! Not to mention the fact that her parents appear to be with them every.single.day. I would ditch the show just so they wouldn't have an excuse to follow me around. I was watching the old episodes from the first season this weekend, (shoot me!) and I didn't realize just how often they are around. Every episode! How do newly married people live like that? I love my parents to death, but there really have to be some boundries.

I guess that's the price you pay for being a fame whore.

How SAD was that plea for at least three times a week??? Two gorgeous young newlyweds...oh my god.

Agreed. I think it is because all of those other women seem very active and motivated. I've said it before, but I really can't picture Jessica doing a hard workout. I think she just naturally has a thin body and big boobs. She comes off as so whiney and lazy that I really can't picture her pushing herself. I find it incredible that she even learned to sing in the first place. Pa Simpson probably bribed them. Just my opinion.

Something sad is that the girl who won WB Superstar USA just yells instead of singing and reminds me a lot of Jessica.

Prediction: Jess and/or Nick end up on the Surreal Life in 2 years (with Omarosa, Kelly Osbourne and Paula Abdul).

You know what's sad? I was just ripping Jessucka a new one for her rendition of Angels the other day, but now that I've heard Asslee "sing" I don't think Jessucka is that bad. God help me.

The most pathetic thing I've heard in a long time.

And thats saying something! ;)

Hi, I've never seen this show, but my 10 1/2 year old daughter wants to watch it. I figured fellow TWoPers could help me out here. It looks like it might not be appropriate for someone her age. What are your thoughts?

I would have to say no, it's not. There's a lot of sex talk, mostly Nick begging for it and Jess blowing him off -- and not in the way he wants. There's also a lot of explaining terminology between Nick and Jess, and Jess and her Mom, who's as dumb as Jess. Example: Nick: I'd like a hummer. Jess: You mean a car? Also, apparently there has been a parental backlash against her because she's backing of line of lickable cosmetics when her fan base is ten.

Also, this may be my personal bias, but Jessica loves to talk about herself as a role model for young girls, and this annoys the crap out of me. She's incredibly stupid, and thinks her stupidity is cute. She's the opposite of what any sane person would want their daughter to become.

I'd have to agree. Aside from my personal opinion that Jessica is a horrible role model for young girls (a walking,talking, Barbie doll-totally airheaded, plays dumb to win approval, thinks that all that behavior is cute, etc.), the language on the show is pretty raunchy for someone under 13.

Are you all kidding me? The show is totally harmless and they rarely talk about sex, it's mostly stupid stuff like Jessica needing hair extensions and her crying about something normal people don't care about. Let your daughter watch episode 1 and decide then, cause I've learned not to rely on other people's opinions when it comes to TV shows.

I agree with everyone else. I wouldn't let a 10 year old girl see this show. I teach high school freshman (14 and 15 year olds) and I see every day what "female role models" like Britney, Christina, Paris Hilton, and Jessica do to them. These girls come to school in stiletto heels with those little flouncy skirts and a tiny t-shirt. They all have year round packages to local tanning salons and highlight/dye the hell out of their hair to make it blonder. If they don't have a Coach or Dooney & Bourke they are made to feel inferior. Most of the upperclassmen girls have Louis Vuitton and Gucci bags. You're probably wondering where I live. Yeah, in northwestern Indiana. I teach in a town that does NOT have a lot of money.

I truly believe that their desire for everything excrutiatingly expensive and material comes from the pop culture we live in. As far as Jessica goes, I feel that her "act as silly and dumb as possible" mantra tells young girls that this is the behavior that gets you everything in life, when we all know that this is not true at all. It's not like Jessica adopted this behavior and then POOF got everything she has overnight.

This would be why I would be wary to let my daughter watch. A 10 1/2 year old is pretty smart and watching Jess would dumb her down alot. Case in point "Does your heart stop beating when you sneeze?" asked to Nick. I wouldnt want my kid picking up such assinine thoughts and referring to them as factual, thus undoing any intelligence I have tried to instill in her.
There's been a marathon on today, try and catch one to see what you think before you make any judgements. Someone also posted a link that had a synopsis of this season, maybe that could help you as well. Good luck.

Thanks for your input TWoPers. I knew I could count on you. I think I will check out the synopsis.

Yahoo News

This is about Jessica's concert in Florida. Apparently it wasn't that great. The reviewer makes some really good points.

Good article, and I especially like this last paragraph:

I'd agree, but I'm not up on what's current standards as they seem to be veeeeerry flexible these days. I went to see Harry Potter last night and they ran a Janet Jackson music video promo' during the previews. I don't need to see her booty and navel piercings gyrating, and I don't think children taken to see Harry Potter do either. It annoyed me enough to write the AMC's manager and formally complain about the lack of approriateness.

Is it any wonder that this culture seems determined to raise a generation (or two) of barbarians? "We" do it to ourselves.

HomeGoddess, I think I'd suggest watching it with your daughter. As someone said, 10 year olds are smart. And it seems to me that letting her watch an episode and talking during the commercials (like, what would you have done when you lost your keys like that? what did you think of that event?).
That way, she gets to watch, which makes her happy, and you get to point out that women don't have to be nymphy morons. Sort of use Jessucka as a gently negative role model.

Let me just add another voice to the "no watch" team. Are you ready to explain "teabagging" to your ten year old?

I would probably give the show a PG-13 rating. If you let your daughter watch the Legally Blonde level of movies - then this would be okay.

About the role model thing - she's not, never has been and never will be except in her own empty head. I think that a smart kid would see the massive stupidity that oozes from every perfectly tanned pore of her being and would know better. Mine did.

The junior high schools around here showed Much Ado About Nothing this year - the Branagh version. Yikes! Newlyweds dims in comparison.

Do my old trick - tape the episode . Then watch it and let her view it on an episode by episode basis. If there's something that you don't want her to see or hear - let her skip that one and explain why.



Hey - I was in the theater with you! I also have a problem with the networks running fairly nasty ads for things like CSI during the earlier shows. Local news is the worst - ads about teenage prostitutes and strip clubs during shows like The Amazing Race and Millionaire.

I'm glad I'm not the only one. But saddened that it's happening not just at my local cine-puke. Is this the result of....

a. Too many young managers? ...have no perspective.

b. Too many people not having kids? ...don't have any kids.

c. Too many people having kids older? ...don't have kids yet.

d. No one gives a D_____ for decency, or using some common sense...or discretion? ..if it feels good to you, do it. No-one has the balls to call you on it. And if they do.... they're elitist snobs, bigots, or politically-incorrect troublemakers.


Can you imagine if Jessica had a 5-year old child to be responsible for right now? Lot's of couples their ages do......(*shudder*) She's 25, and he's 30?

Ballerino: The male form of the word ballerina.

Whatever, Jessica...

Xavier. It doesn't surprise me that she can't pronounce it correctly but it still annoys me. Also, supposably isn't a word. Communication barrier with your housekeeper? Perhaps the problem is you.

She is truly frightening when she sings. You could see Nick was holding back laughter.

Loved Nick watching the games. I felt his pain. That's exactly what I looked like when St Joe's lost in the elite 8, except I was on my floor sobbing. No I am not crazy. Anyway I would rather watch 12 hours of footage of Nick watching the NCAA tournament than 2 minutes of Jessica "singing."

Kinda boring. Still annoying.

Oh. My. God......the ballerino thing killed me....but you know it'll probably get her another stupid commerical like the buffalo chicken wing thing.

Jessica complaining about the quality of her house cleaner? The mind boggles. Seriously, who is she to complain.

Now in addition to his whiny wife Nick has to deal with the Houseguest Who Won't Leave. Why would she when she can keep sponging off them.

I can't believe AmEx gave them a black card. From what I've heard that has no limit and is only used by the exceedingly rich who can afford to do things like buy yachts and pay off the entire bill at once. No way they have that kind of money.

ITA with any comments about Jess complaining about her housekeeper's inferior work. Honey, puh-leeeeeeeeeze....you live in a sty...a pricey sty, but a sty nevertheless that you care not a whit for. I can't believe you found some dust in the corner. Pick up your dirty socks and underwear and then talk about dust in the corner of the counter. Good grief!

Nick seems over it. The cracks in the relationship are showing. Having a perma-guest isn't gonna help that any. Jessica and Jessica lite would drive me to drink. daily. proliferately. beyond moderation and until oblivion was my friend. Either that, or I'd move. Just tell her I had a meeting or a business trip and be gone. She probably wouldn't notice for a few days at least.

The credit card thing. Beyond words. Trying too hard. And for the love of all that has vision, please stop the bizarre facial and body movements when you sing. That is all. No, wait. More Nick please.

I tried to keep a tab of how many fun/positive moments Nick had in that episode versus negative moments. His positive moment was when his team won the game, his negative moments were the entire rest of the episode. With that crack about him not getting laid and Casey getting on his nerves and Jessica bitching about the maid, Nick did not seem to be having fun.

Next week's drinking game: Drink a shot every time Nick says, "Shut up, Casey."

Oy. Even the new "slickness" of the show didn't ease the pain. I admit, I watch out of morbid curiosity....I'd like to witness their demise, but tonight was pain. I did notice that Jessica seemed on guard with the cameras.....IMHO. She didn't seem to say much that falls into the 'dumbass' category, ballerino excepted.

And her singing? OMG I laughed so loud my kid woke up....

Oh Lord. Poor Nick is so clearly running out of steam already. Someone needs to rescue him. (Not everyone all at once! :)

And its been said before, but Jessica criticizing the maid left me absolutely speechless. I hope the maid totally quit and left the place a sty as soon as she saw that.

I loved how logical Nick was about why the maid couldn't do the cleaning that Jessica requires because she was always too busy just picking up all of Jessica's fucking clothes.



Steve and Edie for the 21st century!

It's time to free Nick. Seriously. I cannot stand Jessucka and all her whining and complaining. And Mini-Jessucka has got to go. I was like what the fuck during the previews when she told Nick to call and get movie times. Get off your lazy ass and do it yourself.

All Jessucka does is bitch and moan. I'm surprised Nick hasn't killed himself yet. I'd be reaching for the nearest gun with her and Mini-Jessucka both around.

I tried to watch Newlyweds to see what all of the hype was about and, gah! Jessica is just, just, there are no words. Thank God for all of you and your wonderful posts (which I enjoyed reading) for making me realize that I am not alone in my utter bewilderment at her popularity. I thought I might just be too old to understand (I still might be). I had heard all of the "Jessica is dumb" jokes, but it goes far beyond that. She is whiny and mean and awful. Does she even sing any original material? Does she have any interest in music at all other than the fact that when she opens her mouth and screams, record execs pay her lots of money?

I know she uses her "I was a virgin until I got married" schtick to make it OK for young girls to admire her, but gah! First of all, she was all of 20 when she got married, so I'm not all that impressed. Secondly, way TMI! I don't care if you are a virgin or not, don't need to know that bit of info. Thirdly, I'm betting that she will have wedded and bedded many a man before her famewhoring is over. And fourthly, she talks like a 2 dollar hooker (granted a very naive one). We get it, you have had sex now. She talks like a giggly school girl about sex but then Nick has to beg for 3x per week? This is not mature married woman behavior. How does a 30 year old man stand it?

Sorry to pick on just Jess, perhaps I am beiing sexist, but Nick just seemed, worn down by the whole thing.

Also, is it just me or is she freaky looking? Everyone says she's so hot but her face is square and word on the horsey teeth and her skin color is a tad, um, unatural.

God, I'm just holding out hope that Jessucka destroys Nick so much that he turns gay and becomes mine. Mwahahahahaha. I'll keep watching this show if Nick keeps walking around in towels, like in the preview. I admit it, I am totally superficial and more fagulous for it.

I hate Casey (I actually read in the Post that she spells her name CaCee...but, no. I refuse to type such a stupid spelling.) When she was busting on Nick's team after they lost, KNOWING that it would piss him off, well, that really sucked. Even Jessica had the presence of mind to shut her trap because she knew he was upset.

Get your own apartment, beyotch.

Am I wrong for hating Casey? She can be the best of friends with Jessica for all I care, but she should have some manners towards Nick. First of all, he took her apartment hunting! I don't know too many guys that would take a friend of their girlfriends/wives to go apartment hunting. Secondly, those "jokes" Nick keeps telling Casey about being evicted and paying rent, they are hints that you're about this close to over-staying your welcome and you should find an apartment ASAP. I'm assuming Casey isn't paying Nick&Jessica rent as she stays in their house, eats their food, uses their elctricity/water/gas/phone, she should at least have some consideration to help around the house. Maybe she can wash dishes, help clean up (even though they have a maid), do something to help carry the weight you're putting on them! I must be raised completely different from her, but one thing my parents made sure I knew was when I stayed with people and they did it as a favor to me, I should make sure they never realize I'm around the house, meaning if I dirty some dishes I clean it up. I help with the chores so as I'm not burdening more than I should be, isn't this common sense? And Casey, Casey, Casey I can't believe you teased Nick when the Bearcats lost. You're staying at their house for nothing and you have the audacity to tease him? Have you never been around men and they're sports? Jessica of all people knew not to tease him and she even mentioned it to you that he gets in a bad mood when the Bearcats lose. Bring back Drew and Leah, I might destroy my TV if I see more of Casey, I hope to God next week is her last week.

Nick? I have nothing but pity for you, the only time you were clearly happy was when the Bearcats won. When the Bearcats lost I couldn't differentiate your sadness from them losing to your normal face when you're around Jessica. I think Nick can handle one Jessica, but two? He's about to lose it. Was I the only one that thought Nick and Jessica got into a fight behind closed doors because of the maid? Nick seemed upset, Jessica seemed upset and I hope Nick puts his foot down, he clearly has a point with Jessica's clothes. It's not that hard to pick.up.after.yourself.

Jessica wasn't annoying in this episode or that dumb (except for ballerino). I'm thankful I didn't see her creepy father or her mother.

Next week's episode better be Casey's last!

I loved Nick's serenity candles. Those things really worked for him. Perhaps he and Jessica can become celebrity spokespeople for the candle industry. Then Nick can be dropped from the campaign.

Her singing was - as always - atrocious. I read a review of the Houston Rodeo concert back when it happened - it was not flattering in any way.

Her house was - as always - horrible. How hard is it to pick up your clothes? Not exactly a glowing recommendation for the closet system that she got last year.

I think Jessica is precious - please don't beat me up - but I am also one of those people that likes sloppy people. Maybe it makes me feel better about how much of a mess that I am.

That being said, the house is gross. And why did she have all those frikking magazines in her bag? Not to mention, Amex gives you the black card? Place it carefully in a wallet! For real tho.

Poor Nick. I felt so bad for him when he said that haveing CaCee (I read that it is spelled that way in some article) live there was like having "two Jessica's." Because although I think that she is precious. I don't think that I could handle being a two-Jessica wrangler. One is probably enough for him.

And who'd have thought that there would be another woman as ditzy as Jess. And from Texas, at that?!?!?

What, you didn't think "kowallaby" qualified? ;)

One thing I liked about this episode is that Jessica did seem more subdued. The episode seemed to reflect their life and not be so staged and over the top (like much of the 2nd season--everything seemed staged for the show).

However, it continues to shock me when Jess opens her mouth to sing. What on earth was she screaming at the beginning of Take my Breath away? She just all of the sudden opened her mouth in her typical epileptic seizure type of way, and started screaming some sound I could not figure out. Surely people don't really like to attend her concerts to hear this? Do they? Why?

Nick does seem really unhappy. I know that in all of their articles they say they are both so happy and that they will stay together. But even with editing, how could they find so many unhappy moments for Nick if he isn't truly unhappy? Especially last night's episode--it showed pretty basic moments of their life, and I am not seeing the love.

I'll take a ticket on the Casey-hate train, please. I don't know what kind of money she's looking to spend on an apartment, but that one place she looked at was about twenty times nicer than my first apartment.

I also thought it was pretty rude of Jessica to talk on the phone in the restaurant, leaving Nick to talk to her friend. He was trying to be nice, but dang, there's only so much a person can take. Two Jessicas indeed.

Poor Nick. You can tell he wants to be a good sport about things, but he never gets anything back. One of these days, tick, tick, tick... boom.

This show needs more Drew. Watching the marathon the other day just reminded me how great a Nick and Drew show would be.

Thankyou! That apartment is twenty times nicer than the one I have NOW -- my first Not Ghetto Out of College Real Job with Semi-Decent Income apartment -- and I'm splitting $945 a month with Mr. Peanut! What the hell does this girl want?! Oh, wait -- a mansion that's often empty due to its owners' hectic schedule. And if her name really is spelled CaCee...it doesn't help her case.

Well, since CaCee (gag) is Jessica's BFF and her Personal ASSisant, I don't think she'll be going anywhere anytime soon. I'm sure she'll get her own apartment, cause I totally get a 'as soon as the camera's off we're gonna "talk" vibe' from Nick, but she'll still have ample reason to be at the house ASSisting Jessica with every emergency from chipped nails to lost credit cards to hair extensions.

The first thing I thought of when I saw "CaCee" in print, was what the hell is that? Then I remembered the way Sarah Jessica Parker wrote her name in that movie with Steve Martin, LA Story I think. The name was SaN*dEe or something like that.

Jessica's personal Ass sure didn't do much in the first eppy but hang out and be dippy. It's going to be a looooong season. Poor Nick

ITA. Any chance to see Nick live and in person, I'm there. I think they could have the Faith Hill/Tim McGraw vibe in concert. No disrespect to McGraw-Hill!

ITA. Plus she has such a look of sheer stupidity in her eyes. Every time I look at her, I feel like I can almost see the poor, feeble hamster on its wheel inside her brain as she tries to comprehend what someone is saying to her. To me, her stupidity makes her ugly.



He thought he was nice to take her around (although it was somewhat self-serving on his part). But she just whined the entire time. Gag. His tolerance level astounds me.

And maybe I'm confused, but wasn't Casey already Jessica's assistant last season? Wasn't she there when Jess was cooking -- I mean watching some guy cook for her for Valentine's Day? But she's now just moving to LA? I don't get it.

And Jessica really needs to be careful of having these hangers-on mooching off of her since, if there is any justice in the world, her career won't last much longer.