Jessica's concern for Kelly and Ashlee reminded me of that hilarious moment in the first season when she had to sing at that 4th of July concert. The girl who went before her was all kinds of bad and Jessica (who was backstage waiting her turn) kept going on, like someone concerned about a dog playing in the street, about how the girl couldn't find the key. "Oh, no. She can't find the key! Nick, she can't find the key!" I half expected Jessica to run on the stage and help her find it. "Have you checked all of your pockets?"

Hee. I don't watch Newlyweds on a regular basis...hell, I don't know if I've ever watched a full episode, but I had to tune in to see what kind of remarkable damage control Papa Joe was going to use..."Oh, she did great! She hit all of the notes! She did so well!" Gah. So forced, so obviously untrue...and am I the only one who wouldn't want to be sitting next to Nick at a USC game?

Me! Me!

Thanks,Venimous Knid!

Part of me believes it, but the other part of me agrees with an above poster who stated that they didn't think Nick would stand for that. Also, others thought Jessica was too stupid to get away with it and hide it from anyone. All this makes me think "no."

However, I could totally see her doing it to stay thin. And the largest part of me wants to believe it because its funny. Can't to wait for the rehab stories! Maybe then she'll go away for a while.

There's a lot of easier, doctor-assisted ways to stay thin. I'm sure PaSimpson has a few MDs in his pocket.

Yes, I've been watching from the very beginning. And I think Jessica's main problem with Nick is that he feels the need to let everyone know that they don't have sex all the time. Even if it's at a dinner full of people. And maybe it's not just the number of times he says it, it's his intent behind it. He seems to say it to either get a rise out of Jessica, or a laugh from his boys. Anyone would be irritated by that tired shit. Even Jess. And Lord help me, I'm defending Jessica, but sometimes Nick irritates me just as much as her.

I think that's why it's getting harder and harder for me to actually sit through these episodes. Everything is so tension-filled and nothing is really cute-funny anymore. It has it's moments, but they are few and far between. *sigh*

Nobody has mentioned the mutant grilled cheese she tried to serve Nick.

This relationship was all about sex from the beginning. Her biggest claim to fame before the show was bravely holding onto her virginity until marraige (I can see Nick in B&W with a sinister moustache going "You must pay the rent!" "I can't pay the rent!"). We have the officiant at their wedding crowing that Jessica could genuinely wear white. We have Pervy Papa Simp watching Nick and Jess film the video for Sweetest Sin while practically drooling and then saying they're celebrating that Jessica can now have sex "until she's blue in the face." We have him giving interviews about how his daughter has double Ds and you can't cover those suckers up. And, on the camping trip in the first season Nick commented "I get to fuck Jessica Simpson!" So sex has always been integral the whole dynamic, whether anyone is getting it or not.

I dunno about the coke habit. She could be dumb enough, and there seem to be an awful lot of rumors that are first and second hand. Which would imply that she isn't, in fact, hiding it very well. On the other hand, I don't see Nick being too happy if she was. But he seems to have very little influence over her anymore.

This episode just makes me more sure I would never wanna hang out with Nick and Jessica. Nick is constantly being a grumpy entitled hole and Jessica ALWAYS has to be the center of attention and will do or say anything to make sure that happens.

I don't know if this has been said before, but I think the Simpson family has major jealousy issues with Britney Spears. They always seem to have something snide to say about her. Britney has always been and will always be more famous and interesting than any Simpson family product. And she has a song people still know five years later, Jessica. Plus, she banged Justin, which we all know is what Jessica wants.

Oh, I thought Meadow Soprano had more class than hanging out with Jessica. But, there are alot of parallels between them (older husband, both were successful in their teens, both are around the same age). I don't understand how all these guys are like "Jessica is so hot!" Yeah, with her buck teeth and mannish chin. Meadow is so much prettier than her IMO.

Don't forget anorexia. I don't know if it's that or coke or what, but there's something very unnatural and ugly about how Jessica's body is looking these days.

Jamie Lynn didn't look all that thrilled to be around Jessica, but maybe that was because of the cameras. It's possible that Jessica and Nick both play it up for the cameras and then act more normal when they're not around. That's the only explanation I can think of as to why they even have any friends.

Skittish, I didn't mean to imply that I thought it was ok for Nick to make the sex comments that he does. You're right, Jessica seems to be tired of hearing them and I think because he's been making them way too often. Neither of these two censor much now. I finally watched my tape of the episode and was completely put off by the way Nick kept saying "...my wife's ass" when the server spilled the sauce on Jessica's dress. Couldn't he say "butt" or just "dress"? Even though the scene was edited in a very choppy way, it looked like he didn't handle it well. Maybe the waiters were being rude, and maybe he was annoyed that they were out of so many things, but I was surprised that Nick was the one who got upset and Jessica actually was willing to let it slide.

And even if they were pissed off that the restaurant ran out of a lot of things, hello! it's the Orange Bowl folks! That restaurant was probably having their busiest day of the year.

The way Nick confronted the waiter about dripped "stuff on my (his) wife's ass" was uncalled for and made his valid point less valid by drawing attention to "my wife's ass", instead of drawing attention to the fact that the server made an error that's potentially costly (at least dry cleaning wise) to them.
As someone in the restaurant industry, I cringed when that happened, and when someone didn't immediately apologize and offer to cover dry cleaning expenses (which they do at Bennigans for god's sake) I would have gotten legitimately pissed, but done so in a manner that proves the point. I was suprised Jessica let it go, considering she was compelled to use her steak knife to check her eye makeup, yet walking around in a butter soaked dress was okay to her.
I thought they were at Morton's or a equally higher class steak house, and from what I saw of their experience, I would have been really dissapointed with the entire experience-- whether they closed for them or not.

Speaking of Nick and the "lack of sex comment", he totally reminds of my boyfriend freshmen year of college. He would always make comments like that (I kept getting bladder infections, so that's why there was lack there of) and it would just really piss me off. He would make comments in front of his friends "Oh, I'm never going to have sex again", and it was just really rude and ignorant. Jessica isn't going to be like a giant skank like Paris Hilton and have sex all the time. Especially if she was a virgin until 22. He can't expect her to be some sex expert. ::Stepping off my soap box::

I finally saw the last few episodes today. I have to accept that I'll never see them on Wednesdays, especially with new South Park starting this week.

Whatever the "terms of endearment" starting with K was, Caigh-Seigh got it wrong and Jessucka right. "Kindness?" Please. "Happy Valentine's Day, kindness!" No. Not a chance.

I saw the look Jessucka gave Nick when he was wiping the butter off her butt and made the sex comment. It would have curdled new milk. It can't possibly be because she's suddenly developed a sense of decorum and respect for boundaries, or the manners to not discuss bodily matters in public, so there is definitely something else going on there.

This show just isn't fun or funny anymore. I was able to tell that just by watching the clips in the credits from the first season.

OMG! Transexuals are now dressing up like her?
Ditto. In fact, you couldn't pay me to sleep with her. I refuse to make the obvious commentary on the obvious implications of that statement.

No, you're not. And nothing makes a man less attractive to me than shouting uncontrollably at a football game. Bleh.

Well, as we know, she's just going to go home and throw that dress on the floor of her $20K closet so why should she care? She'll just get another store to give her a huge discount and get another outfit.

And I'm with everyone who finds Nick's comments about the lack of sex sickening. Sure, Jessica, has no boundaries, but most of the inappropriate things that she says aren't directed at anyone and aren't meant to embarrass someone. His comments about not getting any in front of other people are clearly meant to embarrass Jessica. I never liked him, but I'm finding him more and more repugnant.

It's always seemed to me that while Jessica loves to talk about her bathroom habits in public, she has always reacted badly to talk about her and Nick's sex life. I agree too that while I usually have a lot of respect for Nick, I thought that was a little out of line -- I have friends who will make comments at parties or dinners out about their sex lives in front of their spouses/significant others, and it never fails to bring a screeching and awkward halt to the conversation.

While I'm still looking forward to Nick's reality show (does it begin after the "Newlyweds" season ends?) and I still think he's a hottie, the sex comments got on my nerves, too, and I've stopped liking him as much as I did in previous seasons. This couple needs therapy so much -- why doesn't MTV keep milking this cash cow by offering to pay Nick and Jessica to allow the cameras to record a few sessions with a marriage counselor? (Not that I think N&J would do it, but I'd sure like to see it.)

It's been interesting to watch the transformation of Nick and Jessica over three seasons. They were minor celebrities in the beginning, when many of us did not know who either or both of them were, and they could still eat at their local chain restaurants or have a failed book signing event. Now they are somewhere at the B+ list level in Hollywood and are all over the tabloids. I liked when the show was giving us a peek at the daily lives of a minor celebrity couple and you could see them doing average things like going camping and pop star things like shooting a video or going out to dinner and getting recognized. I liked this couple so much better before they went so Hollywood.

Does anyone think that Jessica will look like Farrah Fawcett does now in about 15 years?

Good Lord! That woman gets around...
But here's a better question...has Nick ever dated anyone closer to his own age?

I always took Nick's comments about their "lack of sex," as his schtick he thinks he's supposed to use now that he's married. I remember throughout all their seasons they say stuff like, "Well, now that I'm married (fill in cooking/bossing/sex punchline)" as if there are certain jokes you're supposed to make once you're husband and wife. I think Jessica's getting annoyed with the jokes now because the rumors of their marriage falling apart are more prominent in the media.

I recall her saying on their camping trip that the reason she was reading romance novels was because she didn't have any romance in her life now that she was married.

You know what, kfree9? I think you're exactly right. I never thought of it that way.



Wow. That's sadder than these episodes have been.

So true, Vermiciouskind!!!! (Did I just butcher your name? sorry!)

Hey, not only did they put that on the table first, that's the whole shebang as far as the Jessica marketing machine -- the hot bod, the physical desirableness. She can't cry about "crossing a boundary" now. No way. Positioning herself to the world as a sex symbol ... if the truth seeps in that you're in fact semi-frigid, sorry, cry me a river.

She and the PR machine (mainly CreepyPapa, I guess) were the ones who sought to titilate (no pun) and bring her sex life to the fore in every magazine and tabloid TV show. If the truth comes out (the part of sexy that entails actually having sex, she is not), then sorry!

In one of this week's rags, they quote Nick as saying that Jessica was the "real deal" and that she had a "pure heart which is why he loved\married her." Now that Jessica has become increasingly materialistic and decreasingly empathetic, is she less "pure of heart"? Could that be one of the reasons for their failing marriage?

Also, Nick is quoted as saying that Paris Hilton has always been envious of Jessica. Somehow, I doubt that. Paris is soo narcisstic that I have a hard time believing she is capable of being envious of anyone. Much less of someone like Jessica Simpson.

[/QUOTE][QUOTE]they quote Nick as saying that Jessica had a "pure heart which is why he loved\married her." [QUOTE]

Baylor, I think the rest of the interview went like this: "And by 'pure heart,' I mean epic tits."

;)

I just had to de-lurk to make a comment on the whole 'did she do coke or didn't she speculation.' As somebody whose done quite a bit of a coke in the past (not proud of it but I was young and foolish) I can say with quite a bit of certainty that I highly doubt she is. It would be REALLY hard to have a reality show with camera's around and not show symptoms. When you take a hit of coke you're happy for about a half hour and then depressed for hours and hours. And I mean depressed. Especially if the rumours about her and Nick's marriage being on the rocks is true, that would amplify the depression. True she lost alot of weight but that doesnt' necessarily mean it's because of coke. Coke also makes you ugly. I'm not saying Jessica's as good looking as the media portrays her, but even without makeup on she looks relatively healthy. I can remember for me and my friends and our 'summer of drugs' it had gotten to a point that even when we weren't high, we were pale and our lips were kinda' blue and to be honest we all looked like shit. Jessica has alot of money, her weight loss could come from hiring nutritionists, personal trainers, etc... Maybe she doesn't eat at all, but I do not think it comes from coke. And I agree with the posters who say she's too dumb to hide it. She is. Coke makes your thoughts quite scattered, and I just don't see her being able to pull it off. And I DO NOT believe Nick would put up with it for a second. Maybe he wouldn't leave her, but I think he atleast still cares enough about her to want to genuinely help her. They may not seem like they have it all together anymore, but shit happens. It seems like they used to have a good, solid relationship that maybe just can't stand the test of time, money, and fame. But nevertheless, I can't believe he wouldn't try to help her. Also, even though her dad is a total skeeve, I doubt he would put up with her doing hard drugs in any way either and would get her help right away. Again I doubt if she were doing it that she'd be able to hide it from them. As far as Lindsay "Why is this chick famous again"? Lohan's note to Paris Hilton's phone is concerned, if it's real, then maybe it was just LL trying to get attention of something from Paris. The girl is after all only 18 and still 'high school.' Maybe she even thought something might be going on or whatever and convinced herself it was. And if Jessica was doing coke, I doubt she'd be asking all over the club for it. On the other hand, I can totally and completely see Lindsay Lohan being all over coke. Apparently she has really bad mood swings, got her ass dumped by Wilmer, lost a tonne of weight really quickly, is sick alot, and is friends with some notorious people in Hollywood. Not to mention the fact that her dad used to do coke. In interviews she denies it but I dunno. That girl seems disturbed. Anyways I'm going off topic but that's just my two cents on the matter. Also, do you guys think that Jessica and Nick will eventually get divorced? It's kinda' sad because I genuinely think they really loved each other, but maybe just lost their way in all the chaos. I mean all relationships go through tests, maybe this is one for them.

It's so simple and stupid. If they really love each other and want to stay together all they have to do is spend time alone together without cameras and without Creepy Pa and Ma. There are couples go through much more complicated problems then that and manage to stay together. It's like the money and fame is the drug and they can't break the habit.

Do they even know how to be married without being on t.v. and worrying constantly about appearances and magazines and how other people perceive them. They're missing out on one of the great things about being in a good relationship---you don't give a shit about what other people think and just enjoy your life together. Brittany Spears mastered this concept recently, and I think it might be working for her. Jessucka should give it a try.

Nobody's perfect and luckily we don't have to be perfect in order to make a marriage work. But I think that Nick and Jessica's marriage is going to fail mainly because she is too immature and self centered to be a good partner. I hated the way she refused to acknowledge Nick's excitement about his new studio. All she focused on was how much she hated the sofa. I also cringed when she was so mean to him while he was watching football with his parents. It's stuff like that that poisons a relationship.

The main focus of this season's episodes seems to be on watching them spend money. I'm glad it's going to be the last. Of course, after the divorce, Jessica can do a show on starting over as a single woman. Yuck.

WORD. Truer words have never been spoken.

This was in Liz Smith's column Tuesday



God, doesn't this woman have even the tiniest shred of dignity?

Goodness people! What is wrong with you? Why not be honest and admit it. We have all "taken advantage" of other couples arguing in order to promote our line of beauty products! I mean I know I interrupt couples at the supermarket several times a day in order to make sure they check out my line of products. If your honest, you'd admit you do this daily too. ;)

Baylor! Bless your snarky heart for giving me that giggle!

And yes, agreed! I mean, I will admit that I will totally lead random couples I encounter in sensual exercises even though I myself only consent to sex during the Autumnal equinox! And I cause my man to live in perpetual state of bitter frustration, just a sneering, petty comment-making passive-aggressive asshole!

But haven't we all at some point?

ETA: Hmm, is that how they resolve arguments? Rubbing lotion on each other's bodies? That's what I'm sayin', folks. It's all about communication.

You just know Nick is writing "Hate ya, bitch" on her back in Raspberry Raunch or whatever product from her *kaff kaff* beauty line.

What? You mean I don't get to see the melt down up close and personal? I've been salivating over this ever since I heard about it on the evening news!! I feel so cheated, so betrayed, so...........deflated. Does that mean we miss ALL of the carnage, the radio interview damage control, Stanklee's "friends" telling her how it wasn't her fault, her pederast dad saying that somehow it was all in the Lord's hands,or some crap like that? And best of all, the plucky "I thought it went well, why is the world so mean to me?" testimonial with the glazed over look in her eyes (it's shock at her trainwreck of a "career"). And why isn't this on her own show? What never ceases to amaze me is that even though Creepy Joe exec produces her show, she still looks like a no talent dingbat.

I wuz robbed!!

Could this show be any more boring? Jessica's keeping everyone waiting, Nick bitching because there's no fish, Daisy's scared of Jessica in brown hair, Nick and his friends looking at the big waves; Jessica . . .snore.

.

Hee.

Sometimes, I wonder if the reason this session is soo boring is because all the rumors are really true. By the time they edit all the bad behavior out all there is left is this boring pile of crap. They really couldn't find anything else that was "acceptable" to show.

Hi everyone, I have been watch this show for awhile now, and maybe Jessica does not like have sex with Nick because Nick is really bad in bed. I not a big fan of Jessica Simpson. She is too self centered, not very bright and etc. I might be wrong but that could be the reason why Nick and Jessica having problems. It is just a thought.

Or maybe she just doesn't like sex period. Sometimes things happen when you're a kid......

They don't call him Creepy Pa Simpson for nothing. I'm exempt from that accusation though because I call him CreePa Simpson.

Haven't we gone round and round and round about that already? Read the last 50 or so pages.

I actually laughed out loud last night. Nick has such an infectious laugh. When was the last time he enjoyed himself that much at home? I was wondering what they were doing playing "I'm the king of the world!" at the end of the boat, but it was funny as hell when it actually worked. If The Nick Lachey Project is all about him and his drunk buddies, maybe it won't be all bad.

At last, we find out what the boys do on boys nite -- each other's hair! Drew was WAY intently into that styling.

Very very boring episode. I don't blame Daisy for being disturbed by Jessica in an Ashlee wig. Anything that makes anyone look like Ashlee should cause barking. Even from people.

Come on now, let's not delude ourselves into thinking that Nick can put anything decent on a record. The only reason I kind of hope that it works out for him is that I feel sorry for him, being so lost in his life, having to basically talk to himself for conversation. Can you imagine what it must be like to be in a room with "Huh?"ssica ....alone.....trying to dumb down all your questions and statements so that she can understand you? Maddening. I won't be surprised if the show ends with Nick putting a shotgun in his mouth, with Daisy, who is taped to a few sticks of dynamite, taped to his stomach, talking crazy talk in the rented Ferrari at a Quik Stop (because that's where all good standoffs play out), like this (crazy deranged voice) "your pop star robot... but I found out, Joe! And now the world will know the truth, just as soon as I cut her open and they can see the wires and the batteries. Now give me back my wife, or I'll kill this robo-vixen!"
And to trackback to the Orange Bowl for a sec, since I just watched that ep in its entirety, did you guys notice what a camera whore Nick's Kentucky buddy has turned into? And I know she's dumb as a box of rocks, but it's so obvious that he makes fun of her verbal gaffes just because the cameras are there. I love the fake "I'm fuckn' pissed, man" attitude he put on about the suite. And standing next to Nick while he camera talks about the suite situation when they were on the boat, nodding his head about everything Nick was saying. Way to be supportive! Why don't you rub his shoulders too, poor old stressed out Nick. So corn. Smart money says he and his buds watch Newlyweds just so that when he rips Jessica for saying something stupid, they can all clink beers and go "OOOOOOH. Good one, man!" Yeah dude, you're a fucking genius, being all smarter that Jessica Fucking Simpson, for christ sakes. Ugh.

Did anyone else wonder who these people were? I thought they were cute though how much fun they were having. Jamie-Lynn Discala's husband AJ seemd kind of creepy though and not too bright. Loved the Talentless but Connected shirt though!

Um, I thought the episode was hilarious -- from the drunk haircuts to the excitement over the dolphins and the whale to the on-the-spot creation of a fun game when there were no fish.

And man did I feel bad for that poor T.A. who had to keep knocking on Jessica's trailer door. I probably would have ended up prostrate on the ground too.

Can anyone explain to me why the hairdresser spent 9 years on Jessica's hair only to put a wig on? I left the TV for about 30 seconds so it is possible I missed something.

Paid by the hour maybe? Otherwise, I cant figure that out either. I thought the stunt driving teacher's annoyance with her was funny, especially when he had to get out of the car because she was making him dizzy.

I thought this was hilarious also. Reminds me of that Splashwater Falls ride at Six Flags where I used to be an idiot and stand on the bridge after the ride so I would get super soaked. Loved seeing Nick have fun with his buddies.

Did Nick seriously have to pay $10000 for that off road car? It may not be a lot of money to him, but I'd be pissed if that happened. If I ever decide to do something like this, I'll make sure I read the fine print to see who is responsible should something happen. The whole thing was pricey - I saw the sign behind the guy in the shop said it was $275, and that only included 2 laps or something like that.


I didn't get it either. Why curl her blond hair only to put the brown wig on later?

Were the two hair sequences the same day? I thought they were preparing for two different shots, but I could have missed something. And, if it was the same shot, maybe in the scene Jessica has to rip her wig off and therefore the hair underneath had to look somewhat decent.

Yeah, it was two entirely different hair situations.

And I thought $10,000 was steep for one of those things -- but (while this might sound xenophobic) that kind of quasi-extortion is really commonly perpetrated by vendors in Mexican resort towns on American tourists. Nick hit the nail on the head when he saw the guys with machine guns and said that the paperwork they wanted was probably a bribe. I have heard countless stories of kids on Spring Break getting arrested for no reason so the cops can extort a bribe.

Yeah, I liked that scene. And it looked fun. They seemed to be having tons of fun, and maybe most of it has to do with the alcohol, but I've never seen Nick have that much fun with Jessica. It's kinda sad, really.

I was definitely confused with the Jessica hairstyle thing as well. If it was two different hair situations, then they sure did edit it poorly. They edited it to make it seem as if she had her hair curled then pined up into a hairnet for the wig.

Aha! Remember I speculated that Nick's new home studio was installed because it was going to be used on his own show?

MTV totally paid for that renovation. And when Nick used the excuse to bring back his bachelor pad couch Jessica had to whine and moan and pout about how she hated the couch. Does she find any hint of pre-marraige Nick threatening?

Can you imagine all the ass Nick got on that couch? No wonder why the girl hates it.