This is exactly why Nick gets on my nerves almost as much as Jessica at times. He didn't have to buy her that dog. Granted, she probably whined and moaned about getting it, but for God's sake Nick, be a man and say NO if you don't want one! Not only did he finally give in and buy it for her - he arranged a big elaborate suprise visit ON STAGE, ON CAMERA, on a HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSICA, LOVE NICK Special. He caters to her every little want, then complains about how spoiled she is. It's not his fault that she is the way she is, but he doesn't help it.

See this is why I have never (nor will ever) own a pet. The thought of rearranging my plans to cater to the attention needs of an animal is bizarre to me. But, you're probably right that he didn't do all that much work to set the weekend up. I suspect most of his daily life is carefully planned out these days.


This is more where I was trying to go, but Ananayel said it much better. Did she really almost cry in the car because she missed the dog so much? Good lord. Nice contrast to last year when she couldn't even be bothered to call Nick back.


No, but he seems like he just wants to make her happy. Having meaningful conversations doesn't work, spending time alone doesn't work, singing his new Christmas song to her doesn't work, hell, even making love doesn't work. What's left but to buy giant diamonds, over-priced luggage, and dogs. The poor man is getting desperate.

I have to say that I died laughing at Nick's comment about "You just had to bring the cockblocker along, didn't you?". Laughed out loud, actually. Mainly because I'm sure that's very true for them, but also because that's what my husband and I call our dogs (who we love dearly!).

The rest of the episode was meh. I was irritated by her stupidity in reading Nick's card, which I thought was a nice gesture by him. Most guys don't take time to write more than a couple of lines in a card, and for him to write as much as he did, she sure didn't show much appreciation -- that is, until she got her gaudy bracelet.



I agree...they need to do a Monica/Chandler Valentine's day and MAKE their presents! Now THAT would make for an interesting show, watching Jessica try to make something.

I am really getting annoyed with all the bracelets. I know he must be at a loss for what to get the girl who has everything, but ANOTHER bracelet? Doesn't she like anything besides jewelry and LV luggage/dog carrier/purses/wallets?

Eh, she's already done that. Remember that time she wanted to make a romantic dinner to celebrate something or other. She hired a chef, asked him a lot of moronic questions while he was trying to work, and then complained to Nick how hard she worked.

I think she teared up cuz he was being a dink and saying the dog was four-paws-in-the-air dead. I get what you all are saying about the dog stuff, but (and my doglovin' self will stop after this) Nick's attitude about Daisy sucks, esp. since he teared up himself about his childhood husky last season, and was waxing rhapsodic about the joys of owning a dog. Muttly little maltese mixes are dogs - ya love dogs or ya don't. He acted like a doglover last season. Now he's a bad owner. I hear ya, Hailey, it might seem weird for people to adjust their lives for a dog, but then again, you're not running around saying dogs are great, let's get one. And that's cool. Not everyone wants a pet, no biggie.

Frankly? The little dog is probably much more fun to be around, and more attentive and affectionate and grateful than Jessica.

Maybe Nick just wants to be able to play with the dog too but Jessica won't let him because she has to dress Daisy up and haul her around in expensive luggage?

Watched about 5 minutes of it during the anniversary dinner and had to turn it off. Jessica's inability to read, yet becoming so excited for shiny shiny diamonds (and honestly, the bracelet looked identical to the one she was already wearing IMO) just threw me. As did her decision to become even sqeakier-sounding when she talks.

Maybe next week I can make it further into an episode.

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I tried to watch the new episode last night, but I didn't even make it through like 10 minutes. It just seems so boring to me, and Jessica has become such an insufferable bitch that it's not fun to watch anymore.

I also agree that those scenes of them sitting at a little restaurant table saying scripted (not necessarily offically scripted on paper, but said for the cameras) bullshit about their love for each other have totally gotten old.

Those two are SO not having sex anymore.

Well why not, that's what people do with their HUMAN children all the time.

Seriously, I think Nick just likes to mouth about the dog. You notice he did plenty of his own petting and cuddling too, including letting the dog lick him all over the lips. But then he may have just figured that was the only action he was getting that night.

Ewel? Cabarnet? Why does it look like she's trying to be stupid? It's just pathetic. Oh and "How do they make wine back in Jesus’ days?" Erm, Jessica? Relevance. It’s all ‘bout it yo.

Okay, zooming into them holding hands for 15 seconds? Not. Necessary. We have eyes. We could see. They're happily, mightily, in love blah blah blah we get it.

Jessica: It's only been two years? Wow, it seems like longer.
Nick: I'll drink to that.

Seriously, I don't know what they're trying to convey with this show. They feel the need to show stupid shots of Nick caressing Jessica's cheek, or them holding hands, and then they throw in these snide comments Nick makes.

I thought Jessica was being completely immature during the luncheon. Jesus Christ, the entire Napa Valley catered to their every need, and she can't at least be grateful? I hope the chef watches her on TV and sees what she really said about his food only to tell him, "Thanks it was wonderful!" and just be like "Fucking lying bitch." Because....yeah, that's all she is.

But this show has long since sucked me into it's vortex, and I'll still watch next week.

I think Jessica enjoyed acting like a petulant child at the dinner because it gave her the excuse not to eat. I used to have a roomie with an ED, and she always made similar excuses about not eating. “Oh that’s gross. “I don’t like pork.” “This tastes awful!” I often wondered if she was really picky or if she just liked another reason to not eat.

That being said, Jessica is uber-trash, so I can also see her not wanting to try new things, if duck can be considered “new.” I think growing less picky about eating is also a sign of maturity. Sure, there are some foods I refuse to eat (raw tomatoes, beets, hard boiled eggs), but just about everything else I’m open to try.

How can someone Jessica's age, who frequents pricey restaurants, not have a clue what pheasant is? The way she struggled to just read pheasant, and stopped on every other word of the card to ask Nick, "Wha's tha?" seemed like she had to be laying it on thicker than usual for the sake of the cameras. I just can't believe she's really that stupid, but I do believe she is exactly as bratty, spoiled and insufferable as she appears to be.

I've said it before...if you are not having sex with Jessica Simpson, I can't think of one other reason why anyone would want to be married to her - that's my straight female opinion. Maybe Nick is sticking it out for this one last season so he can get his bank account a little full before he bolts. I'd like to think that, anyway, because I hate to see a guy who, by my standards, seems to be really awesome and a great catch (with or without money)wasting himself on that rude enemy of fun he calls a wife. If he gets out now, he can still have many happy years with someone else who doesn't shit on everything he says and does for her.

On the upside, I think this show does wonders for making the rest of us wives look fantastic by comparison. If only I could convince Mr. Green to watch this with me.

Were they ever? This seems to have been a running theme since the beginning of the show. I have a feeling that after the pain/discomfort of the "first time", Jessica probably forbid him from ever doing it again. "Oh my gaah Nick! Owww! Maybe if you're lucky you'll get a hand job in the future, but I ain't doin this shit again!!!"

Green, you have a good idea there, but be careful...instead of saying "thank god I have you honey", Mr. Green might end up saying "I can't believe you convinced me to waste 30 minutes of my life like that!!"

Lastly, I could get waaaay more into this show if it was mandatory that Jessica be drunk every episode. She was cracking me up.

Ha, green! I'm totally stealing that and using it often.

I really (I mean truly, madly, deeply) hate CaCee and the Simp parents, but they at least made the show more interesting. Watching Nick and Jess make fake ass toasts over and over is verrrrrrry boring. Bring back the supporting cast. These two are a snoozfest alone.

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago on this board that I saw her on a magazine cover (US maybe). The headline was something about Hollywood and uber-thinness. She was wearing what is obviously a costume for her Daisy Duke role, Daisey Dukes. She looked horribly skinny, skelator skinny, and her face was really gaunt. So it's possible you have a point and she's developed an eating disorder. It's weird though that she didn't appear all that thin on last night's episode. I wonder how long ago that was. I know one or two posters here know when their anniversary is.

But on the show, they seem to frequent chains rather than upscale restaurants, which makes sense if you prefer Velveta to real cheese. Still, I find it hard to believe she's never even tried cavier before.

I agree completely, boring dinner conversation interspersed with cuddling and sucking face with the cock-blocker. They're trying to hard to make them look so happy. But next week, watching Jessica go to the dentist should be interesting -- and by interesting I mean soul-crushingly boring.

The best part of next week's preview was while Jessica is all hooked up and the dentist tells her she still needs her wisdom teeth out, her eyes just about bug out in panic.

All it takes to make her happy is something big and shiny. No wonder she gave Nick that horrible blinged out watch. I'm amazed she came up with those rims, something he actually liked. Or maybe Drew and Lea had to keep telling her every other hour.

Delurking to say that their anniversary is at the end of October (25th or 26th I think). And the ONLY reason I know this is because they mentioned the date last year and it is a couple of days before mine. And yes, I hate myself for knowing this fact. But not as much as Nick and Jessica seem to hate each other. Carry on!
[back to lurking...]

Didn't Jessica make a comment about Nick getting her drunk in order to have sex and Nick said, "Whatever it takes, at this point." That's pretty indicative of what their sex life is like, I'd say.

I don't get how he can put up with the shit she pulls. If it had been me and my boyfriend did what she did after I spent all that time on a sentimental card, I think I would have just walked away from the table. She never suffers any consequences for her thoughtless, selfish actions.

I'd bet a shitload of cash its strictly missionary if ever.

But, Selma04, I ~like~ Velveeta. Of course, I also LOVE real cheese, and Napa Valley, and I was dying when Jessica couldn't manage to enjoy ANY of that meal. God. What a child.

You know, I used to be on the I Heart Nick! bandwagon, but I'm starting to think less and less of him. Is it possible that he still sees something we're not seeing? Or is he just there because she's pretty, rich, or whatever? Who can be happy, living with someone like her?

And that dog? I AM a dog person, and treat my mix breed like a child, but Daisy is a yippy, annoying thing. And it's too big to be hauling around in a purse. Doesn't LV make leashes? And you can leave the dog at a kennel (or grandma's) for a damn weekend. It's not unlike leaving the kids with a sitter - just because ou're a parent/owner doesn't mean you stop being a person with a life.

(and I still think she can't read...at least not very well.)

Thanks, Murphsully. So she must have lost a lot of weight in a very short time.

I guess that's the reason he only really seems happy when he's hanging out with his bro.

His taste isn't all that much better. Those big, blingy rims are just a male version of the big, blingy bracelet, IMHO. But at least she put a little effort into buying him something. Sad, really.

As long as you don't choose your restaurants based on a preference for Velveeta, then I won't judge. I know seven-year olds that have more sophisticated palates than this girl.

I posted last week that I think she has an eating disorder, and I agree with the post that said she was throwing a fit in the resturant in Napa so she wouldn't have to eat. I think the problem started during season 2 and it is really bad now. She is currently filming the Dukes of Hazzard movie, so I think she wasn't as thin when they filmed the anniv. show. Word to her looking like Skeletor.



I cracked up when they were talking about Jessica having to get a shot due to her swollen glands, and if she would have to get a shot in her keister, and Nick replied, "I'll give ya a shot in your keister that will make you feel better" or something like that and she replied disgustedly, "Niiiiiiick!". sigh...for god's sake, why does he stay with her???

Funny, I was thinking the same. I just noticed on the reruns that when she and KC and Leah are out to dinner before she leaves on tour, for most of the shots she has her plate covered with a napkin, while the other two women are eating away. I was like, Hmmmm.

Here is a picture of her from today's People. Apparently the picture was taken Thursday.

I agree she has recently looked gaunt and unhealthy.

Jessica in People

I will eat my shoe if those boob are real.

Skeletor indeed. Looks like it's going to be a fun season of "does Jessica ever eat anything on camera?" for me.

Wow, those ultra-low rise jeans are really unflattering on her. Her torso looks even longer and her legs stubbier--not the right style for her body type.

Don't forget, Hailey.. "She has Double-D's! You can't hide those suckers up!" Oh...PaSimp. If only she tried.

When Jessi-duh was attempting to read the anniversary card, her constant "what's that?" reminded me of a 3-year-old I know. He had been asked "what's that?" so many times as people pointed to things that they wanted to hear him identify (as he learned more words), that he picked up on it and started saying it all the time, pointing to items himself. It got to the point where he started doing it every few minutes as a way to get attention, pointing to things that he had learned long ago, just to have people acknowledge him and talk to him. Some thought maybe he was just being lazy and didn't want to have to think on his own.

I think she's really pouring it on this season when it comes to the stupid comments (such as the stumbled attempt at reading pheasant). I don't think she's the genius that her mother claims she is, but I do think she learned long ago how to manipulate the boys and others in her life to get attention when she desires it.

Jessica's gagging noises and refusal to even try most of the food at the restaurant was also akin to a child's reaction. Can you imagine the restaurant owners, all excited that Nick and Jessica are going to give their place a huge advertising boost by visiting while on camera? Then the owners and head cook get together, decide upon a tasty menu, and print up a special menu, just for them. Then... fast forward to these owner folks actually watching that footage and imagine their response. Not the kind of advertising they were hoping for, I would say. At least Nick was appreciative. I think it's safe to say that Jessica won't be greeted again with open arms there.

I just saw the premiere. I have this to say:

Sweet baby Jeebus on toast points, I would happily rip someone's arm off for the chance to have that vacation in Napa! It appeared that there was no one else in the restaurant when Jessucka was having her infantile gagfest over the food, and it's a good thing, because her fellow diners would have been so slack-jawed with astonishment that they would be unable to eat their own dinner. What an ungrateful, rude, horrifically ignorant, self-centered bitch!

Add me to the "Jessucka don't read so good" list. That was painful to watch. Just from the view of the card we got, Nick's handwriting looked okay to me. She's a real horrorshow, and he is beginning to look beaten and worn. Unless they are sticking together solely for the contractual obligation, the only thing I can think of for why he stays is that he is a lunatic optimist, and actually thinks that they might have a shot once the cameras go off, so he's gritting his teeth and toughing it out until then. He's not perfect by a longshot, but at least he doesn't trigger my gag reflex.

ITA. And Nick seems to have matured in his food tastes as he's become more spohisticated generally. He was raised in a middle-class Midwestern home, which means "good plain cooking". I'm not being a snob, there's nothing better than all-American GPC at its best. But he probably grew up with a very unadventurous palate which was reinforced by the early years on the road, wolfing down take-out or eating in Denny's at 3:00 AM. At the beginning of the series, even though he had hit the big time, he seemed to have pretty basic tastes: steak and baked potatoes for dinner, burgers and fries for lunch. But from what we've seen, he seems to have grown increasingly comfortable with haute cuisine. He's relaxed in restaurants and he's become very willing to try everything that's put before him. And I think he just generally tries to be appreciative when he sees that a service provider has gone the extra mile for him.

Maybe Jessica can enroll in the "Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Who Want to Learn to do Other Stuff Good Too." After all they teach kids of all ages everything they need to know how to be a professional human being. Because after all there is more to life than being "really really really good looking."

Someone look into this STAT!

Jessica is seriously 7 years old. To pretend gag on food when you're a grown woman is just idiotic.

I'm from the same area Nick is from (about 30 minutes away, if he is actually from Cinci itself...less if he's from a suburb to the north), so he's basically the entire reason I watch the show. He and Drew are just so typically Southwest Ohio that it really amuses me to see them on TV and think, yeah, I know where that is, and have a level of identification with them. (Except in the March Madness episode, where Cinci was playing my college, East Tennessee State, and we got robbed of the win. :P )

But Jessica, poor Jessica...I don't honestly see why he stays with her. She is very childish and immature, while he is exactly the opposite. It should be interesting to see how things go when the cameras are off, because he seems much happier when she isn't in the house.

I think they should have quit while they were ahead. The first two seasons were a hoot to watch, but this season's opener was painful to watch. It was all so forced and unnatural. Very boring.

Ha! She would be a perfect candidate!

I was at Best Buy this afternoon and I happened by Jessica's CD slot. It was completely filled with Autobiography. I laughed so hard.

For real. And those faces she kept making? Beyond. Hate.



Hee! Classic!

In fairness, Nick was just as taken with his shiny rims as Jessucka was with her shiny bracelet. And I thought it was really cute of her, actually -- "I'm just pimping your ride!"

ColdGreg, the more likely scenario is that she will only eat on camera, and make a big Busby Berkely production of it. Oh I'm such a piiiig, look how much I eat!!! Diet, what diet? I don't diet, no sir, not me!" Gwen Stefani took some crap for admitting she's starving most of the time; most celebs deny, deny, deny! "This sudden size 0 dress I fit into is on account of my busy schedule and natural metabolism--I'm just blessed, I guess!"

An analogy that occurred to me in the bo-ring premiere:

Jessica is to Nick as Daisy (the dog) is to Jessica.

Adorable to look at, though probably prissy and petulant in temperament -- oh come on, I'm a dog lover too, but this a spoiled toy dog! -- but you, as the owner, don't care. Cuz it's so durn cute. Even the pouty manipulation. Not a marriage or relationship I'd like to have, certainly a condescending kind of "love", not about two equals, but I guess it works for some. Some assholes, this is. ;)

The VH1 Special How Thin is Too Thin arrows in on this exact subject. At the end of the episode I was amazed at how many actresses on TV claim they can't gain weight no matter how hard they try. Uh huh. I'm sure that happens to .01% of the population (and I know TWoPers are included) but come on.

I hadn't watched this show in so long and didn't even know they were making new episodes, but caught the premiere today.

The two things that turned me off so much about the card scene were that she obviously thought the extent of her gift *was* the card so was being a baby about not being able to read it because even though she said she doesn't need diamonds all the time, she obviously does. And, similarly, when you know how to read, you can figure out if 'if' or 'is' is the word you're reading based on the context usually.

Here's a pic. of Jessica looking crazy. Even Cacee knows Jessica has lost it. Heck, maybe even Jessica knows. Enjoy!

Who cares? They all lost it. I can not watch this Dukes of Hazzard movie coming soon because of this stupid bitch. She ruined it for me. God, Where is Suge Knight & his buddies to put Ashlee, Jessica, & Mr. Jessica Simpson out of our misery?!

Is there any way possible that we can send them on a one-way trip to East St. Louis?!!

Set report for Dukes of Hazzard.

Hard to believe part: 'On the set, I interviewed the cast (including Jessica Simpson, who,
despite her image, is actually quite articulate)'

That's reviewerese for "She totally winked at me and said I'm smart for knowing how to start a car."

When I saw the previews about Jessica's tooth problems, all I could think was: Bulimia. Which may be unfair, but I still thought it.