We could only hope! I know myself and a lot of others TwoP'ers would be more than happy to make Nick feel better.

But if you watched the last Asslee show, you'll see that's what she's supposed to do. [/sarcasm] I can't remember exactly what PaSimp said to Asslee, but she was nervous about performing on Leno and he was telling her what percentage of the performance came from 'here' (pointing to his head) vs. 'here' (pointing to his throat). As soon as he did it, I said, "That's the problem!"

Exactly. I'm positive I wouldn't even be able to pick out Robbie Williams in a lineup that included Rupaul and Ruben Studdard. I vaguely remember him from a video where I think he morphed into just a skeleton as the video went on. But I have absolutely no clue what his Angels sounded like. So count me into the teeny bopping Jessica fans that think she has a great new song.

Rainmaker, Robbie's version is infinitely better. Trust me on this. Or not. Just the arrangement behind Robbie's is better than Manface's, in my opinion. Ane then you throw in her caterwauling....ick. Robbie means what he's singing in that one. Jessucka's looking for vowels to breathe heavy on.

I saw this week's episode today on rerun and I agree with everyone else who thinks Nick and Drew stole the show. Those two deserve their own show. They're hilarious together. I loved the expressions on their faces as the Fiji guide was telling them about the white missionary that was chopped up and eaten. Then before the surfing competition, when Nick asked about sharks, and the event representative told them it was okay, sharks didn't pay attention to humans, and Nick is shown expressing his worries to Drew that there didn't seem to be enough concern about sharks. And after the competition, his "Did I win?" as he's coming out of the water -- so cute! Also loved the montage -- so great to see brothers with such a wonderful relationship.

If you want to save your sanity, don't ask how I would know, but Lisa the QVC lady probably rushed off the set to go to the next "show." It's a huge studio with different sets and they have only minutes to go from one to another and get situated before the next show starts.

Nick didn't seem nearly as happy at that dinner table with Jess & Co. as he did when he was with his brother, and her shitty comments about Justin Timberlake in front him were so insulting. Also, that useless PA whining about having to take the suitcase upstairs -- give me a break, you're a PA, you're expected to do the grunt work!

Can hardly wait to see Nick's yard project in next week's episode!

Did anyone else notice the girl with the dark hair sitting next to Nick during the Fiji kava drinking ceremony? They both looked at each other and kinda laughed after Nick messed up his clapping drinking thing. I could be wrong, but I think it may have been Shannon Doherty.

I was surprised to see Jessucka tote her own suitcase up the stairs. I think K. C.'s plan was to stand there and wait for Nick to come home to do her lifting for her. These girls are like shiny, pretty trinkets - ultimately, they're useless.

I would watch the Nick and Drew show any day.

I think you're right. Shannen Doherty and Nick Lachey at a Fiji Drinking Ceremony? What an odd couple.

Me too! Its like they made that episode for most of us here on board!

I thought that was Tia Carrera at the ceremony in Fiji?

I think the girl next to Nick was the girl from X-men 2 with the claws like Wolverine. I think her name is Kelly Hu.

Am I the only one who would like to see a D-I-Y show on HGTV with the Lachey brothers? Or, at the very least, a Home Depot commercial? Just keep JessICKa OUT. OF. IT. Please....

I'd love it -- count me in! Or their own sitcom -- they could be the new version of Home Improvement -- just as long as Nick has a TV wife, not the real Mrs. Nick Lachey!!

Oh, me too, me too, that would be some kind of funny. I'm really looking forward to their yard project this week, having gotten myself in over my head like that as well in house projects/yard work. It's a bitch when you've underestimated the job, but can't stop until it's done.

Heres another vote for a Nick/Drew home improvement show! They're just too fun.

It was Kelly Hu next to Nick Kelly Slater Invitational. At first glance, I also thought she looked like Shannen Dougherty. I am bummed that they didn't show Jackson Browne (he was at the Slater event).

Good find luvbadTV! I was wondering if Marissa Miller was "the" Victoria's Secret model Marissa Miller. What I wouldn't give to be a tall, beautiful, skinny model who also surfs in paradise in my spare time. I hate my cubical.

In other news, I LOVE the idea of a Nick and Drew DIY show. Tool time indeed!

Yes, it is VS model Marissa Miller. I've read somewhere before that she says she's really into surfing.

From upthread:Word.

I don't remember laughing so hard at any other episode, so this one gets my BEE award, too. Those brothers really love each other, and not in a gay way either... but that montage was funny as hell. The look on Nick's face when he puts his arm around Drew in the helicopter is just amazing. He'd jump in front of a bus for Drew.

Was I not paying attention when they explained why the hell someone who's never surfed would be invited to participate in a surfing contest?

Yeah, I thought that was curious too. And it's not just any place in the world, it was FIJI. Maybe they thought that Jessica would go along for the ride (it seems like they allowed each "competitor" to bring a guest). Wonder if they were disappointed that they got Drew instead.

Also, I have to believe that the actual event for that year wasn't planned until after "Newlyweds" first started airing, and they figured that the competition was going to be on TV. Not a bad bet.

OT, I just realized there's an acutal person named Kelly Slater. I thought it might have been some Saved by the Bell thing.

I loved it when Nick looked over for a photo during the dinner with the Prime Minister - he had the cutest little smile on his face. I adore his relationship with Drew, and wish Mr. Green and his brother were that close. Count me in with those who would definitely watch the Nick and Drew Show.

Thank you, jennifuh, I thought the same thing!

Yes, Saved by the Bell and Newlyweds. Obviously, I am very discriminating in my television tastes. :)

I picked up the new issue of Elle magazine with Jessica on the cover. They discuss Cacee in the article quite a bit. There's a bit where Jess and Cacee are talking to Newlyweds producer (not PapaSimp), who tells Cacee that she's been great this season and tells her: "I see spinoff!" Oh, God, say it isn't so!!!

Please make a Nick & Drew spinoff and send Cacee back to Texas!!!

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt!!!!!! Tell me it's not true! "Great"? How are they defining "great"? If they define "great" as "irritating like a cockroach" and "stupider than a doorknob", yeah, that's accurate. I have absolutely no doubt that nobody would watch a Caca spinoff. I hope. Who knows? People watch Asslee and buy her CD, so maybe I'm underestimating the American public.

This.has.got.to.stop!! Oh please, PTB, do not let MTV have a Spawn of Newlyweds starring CaCee. If they do, I want them to remove the "M" from their name, because this channel will have gotten about as far from music as it gets. I will program the TV to bypass the channel entirely; I stupidly continue to check it out thinking they might actually--gasp!-- play some music videos.

BWAH! Just what would the spinoff entail? Because as far as I can see, CaCa has no purpose in life other than to follow Jessica around and mooch off her money. A spinoff with her would just be another excuse to show Nick and Jessica, even though they haven't agreed to another season as far as I know.

Please, please, plllllleeeeezzzzzz!! The thought of a Jess/Cacee spinoff -- I know I'm going to have nightmares until we know it just ain't so!

I haven't heard news that awful in months. What the hell does CaCa (Hehe, I like this nickname) do? She sits on her ass from what I've seen. Unless this is some excuse to get more Jessicak and Nick. Ugh!

Give CaCee a TV show? I thought Single White Female was a movie.

Agreed.

Her voice lacks soul which is what she needs to sound 100% better.

When she was performing on the Diva's Live Show, she was trying to keep up with the much better and gifted singers her voice became inaudible. I found it so funny because all you could see was her big mouth wide open and nothing was coming out.

LMFAO!!!! I wonder if CaCee has now moved out? I don't think even Nick & Jessica would be dumb enough to get a new puppy if she was still there.

And I ALWAYS say I won't watch certain tv shows *cough* Asslee *cough*, and ALWAYS end up watching every episode of whatever it is I swore I wouldn't watch *cough* Asslee *cough*, BUT...I WILL NEVER, EVER EVER WATCH A SHOW FEATURING CACEE!!! This, I swear

God help us if CaCee also decides to put out an album.

Although maybe it would be cool if she got together with that 13-yr-old girl JoJo. Then they could be CaCee and JoJo!

Bwah! I'm wondering what that first JoJo thinks of the 13 year old girl JoJo. If I were him, I'd be pissed that somebody appropriated my name. When that song first came out, I was confused, I really thought the first JoJo went solo. I don't know much about the first one, but I assumed he was a man.

Ah, crap. Does anyone here watch TRL? I just heard from a teenybopper friend that Asslee and Jessucka will be recording "Little Drummer Boy" for Jess and Nick's Christmas album.

Does anyone think those two will sound good together? They don't seem to have similar voices at all.

And are duet albums with his wife all Nick has to hope for in his career?

All the local stations here switch to Christmas music for the month of December, and they play the hell out of any holiday song that's remotely pop. They'll play these songs 25 years from now. Jessica, Nick and Ashlee will never go away. Ever. :(

Good Lord, I can hear it now. Jessucka starts with a breathy "coooooOOOOoooAAAOAOOAAAAAAAOOOOOOOAAAOAAME they TOOOOOoooYYOooooYooooold MEEEEEEEE pahRUMP pa PUM PuuyuyyuyuummMMMM!" Her jaw unhinges and drops to the floor as Ashlee kicks her to the side and screeches "A newboahrn KING to SEE PIECES PIECES PIECES of parum PA PUM PUM"

Blech.

Does the world really need the umpteenth version of Little Drummer Boy, or any other Christmas song for that matter? At least Mariah Carey and George Michael managed to come up with originals. Even Run-DMC had Christmas in Hollis. This will be just a souless pop princess/boy band retread, destined for remainder tables soon.

Bwah! After bursting into insane laughter, I had to try to explain to my husband what was so funny. This?



Not so easy to vocalize. Especially to someone who doesn't give a shit. Tee-hee!

Ahhh, man! I actually think that Nick could do a nice job with it, but Jessica and Ashlee? I could even see just Ashlee by herself, MAYBE, but that song requires restraint, IMO! The whole thing is about humility, and baring one's heart. I don't want to hear a whole elaborate, diva-ey rendition of that song :(

Every time I see this show, I have the same reaction (which I've mentioned here before, sorry about my dead-equine beating!).

Nick impresses more and more, every time I see the show, just seems so solid, so humble and real and hilarious and unjaded and cool in every way.

But his selection of a life partner? Girlfriend doesn't seem to have a soul. I'm not even talking about her brain (clearly lacks), I mean her actual soul. Oh my lord, a thimble-deep nightmare of a person she is.

She is the over-written stereotype in a B movie about surface-beautiful high school beeyotches. Seriously, if she wasn't real, you'd have to diss the screenwriter for being too over-the-top.

So my overall question has always been, and will always be, what's up with his committing his life to her? Is it really the power of the boobies? Just 6 pounds of mammary tissue, is that it? Does that get tears of devotion on an alter before God and family? 'Cause if so, then Nick sorta sucks even worse than she does, since he actually has substance and a brain.......

Again, I apologize that my posts in here (I think 3 in total) have all been expressions of this confusion.... Maybe y'all have theories for me. You're a smart group.

Anyway, the jokes on him, because for all her sex-pot looks, Jess strikes me as the sex-is-fundamentally-gross type. Like: "Niiiick, you're messing up my hair! Get off of me, animal!"

I think he used to be on Baywatch at some point and was kinda cute, but now? Not so cute at all.

I saw the Angels video this morning. As usual, Jessica does all these weird moves that I'm certain she thinks are sexy but instead look like she's imagining what sex would be like and how it's supposed to emote. I don't know. How can you have Nick for a husband and have no concept of what it really FEELS like? The awkward shirt grabbing, boob rubbing, body touching self gratification leaves me wanting some pepto to calm the raging turmoil in my tummy. In a family full of no boundaries conversation, can't someone clue her in?

I saw that article as well. It was either that article or some other one where Casey was going on about being a size 6 now instead of a 10/12. Another thing that stood out in the article was that they made the comment that Jessica had a sitcom pilot that was not picked up by the networks, however ABC did ask her to do 4 more variety specials sans Nick.

I thought Nick was invited back to do those specials as well? So, either the article had misinformation or ABC decided they only wanted Jessica back.

I thought he was invited too! Maybe he wised up and realized the specials were lame. I know that he has multiple episode guest spot on "Charmed" this year though which I would think could lead to better acting deals then a couple of 1 hour specials where he sings with a talking Corvette and rides his wife's couture coattails.

This? Just caused me to spit saliva all over my computer screen and draw disgusted looks from my co-workers...But it was worth it. That is fucking HYSTERICAL. Just promise me we won't have to see Jessucka in a psedu-quasi sexy Mrs. Claus outfit. I will seriously lose my lunch.


Or, as somebody else took the liberty to post waaaaay back,
"Baaaby, sex makes me have to poop."

Wordy McShizzldy Shis-ka-bobbin biddle de bangin snippety snappin WORD to your entire post cherry.

I too think view Nick in a negative way most of the time. I understand that he is good looking, and all-around grounded guy, etc. But that doesn't mean he is not a total idiot who allows his wife to use him as a doormat.

Some of you may challenge my doormat opinion, so I say that if you don't see it now, I guarantee you will in the future. Jessica seems to have no interest in Nick whatsoever for basically the entirety of this season. She used to show it in previous seasons, but it is too much to ignore here.

I don't understand why he continues to allow her completely inappropriate and rude behavior, many times in public (restaurant with the Simps). I don't understand why he allows her to be so unequal to him on so many levels (getting her multiple xmas presents while she gets him NOTHING).

But alas, we have discussed this very topic numerous times on this thread, so I am not trying to open up a can once again. I really think that if they continued filming Newlyweds, their marriage would start having some major problems quickly. But now that it's apparently over, I think they just might have a chance.

KPoo and snarktastic21, glad y'all liked it because I sprained my brain channeling the dynamic duo. Ow.



Maybe he wants(wanted) to wait until the cameras leave before showing her what a bitch she is. Or, maybe he thinks that even when he does, she just. won't. get it. and that he'll have to make a break for it, and doesn't want to embarrass her while they're still all over the magazines and entertainment shows.

Or maybe he's a sadist. Who knows. But if ever there were a trophy husband, it's Nick.
Simp's thoughts are: "Male? Check. Handsome to other women? Check. Looks nice in wedding photos? Check. Yay! Now I have my Ken doll and I can pose him however I want, and toss him on the floor when I'm busy doing...whatever it is I do!"

I think it was misinformation. Seemed to be alot of that in the article. I thought ABC canned both pilots and opted for the variety specials.

Looks like Miss Thang will be kicking off the NFL season in early September. What's that? You don't really give a rat's ass? Me neither.

Oh look! JSimple wrapped up her Reality tour with an appearance on Good Morning America. Two of the three songs she sang weren't even her own! How cute! Am I for real? No.

LeAnn Rimes saying Jessica was wrong about being cheated on. Still don't care? Nope, neither do I.

This girl's star is fading fast.

May I just say that cheating comes in many forms. For someone who is mostly asexual, emotional cheating would probably be worse than thinking someone physically cheated on you.

Jessica is just really, really, really young beyond her years, IMO. I know I'm in the minority (hey, I may even be in my own party of one), but I find her fairly harmless and ditzy in a non-threatening way. I've never seen her trying to hurt anyone, other than driving them crazy by being annoyingly simple.

There are worse things she could be, and given that Nick is still with her, despite the way she treats him on camera, then any marital issues are his fault as much as hers, IMO.