Oh, my gosh--I HATE her. Her "entourage"? The bouncer was a "big man" who made her "cry"? She tried to "save the day?"

This girl sets feminism back about 8,000 years. I really hope that karma bites her in the butt soon.

That #1 on the Maxim Hot 100 thing is bullshit. I looked over all 100 girls with a bunch of other co-workers at lunch (I'm a high school teacher), and they all agreed that she had no place at #1. Her picture looks gross too. She looks like a drowned rat with greasy hair. There are many more women in Hollywood who surpass her in beauty. And talent. And grace. And class.

Jessica performed at some music festival in Arizona yesterday...
Summer Music Festival

Want a big laugh? In Maxim, Jessica goes on and on about her sitcom. She says that it has already been cast, she once again talks about having all these famous people guest star on her show, and then even implies that her show will make us think that her "dumbness" is really a joke on us. Jessica, your sitcom wasn't even picked up so the joke is still on you! How did this girl get so delusional?!

nevermind.

Beat ya too it, luckyduck.

Sorry to say it, but Jessica looked so incredibly masculine in the "Take My Breath Away" video. Sometimes I think she's pretty....other times she just looks like a man in drag.

She'd look 100 times better with a nose job.

oh...and jessica, if you can afford to drop $2,000 on a handbag, at least drop some dough on a strapless bra:

http://www.sweetkisses.net/images/zootopia...s/images/39.jpg

http://www.sweetkisses.net/images/zootopia...s/images/30.jpg

Her father. All from her father.

And as far as the nose job, I'd take up a collection for Ashley Simpson. Girl is as horse faced as they come.

Here's an article (registration probably required):
ABC Rejects a Pop Idol's Sitcom Pilot

I just saw the rerun of Nick & Jessica's variety hour this weeked. (I was at my mom's house on Easter and I was too embarrassed to watch it in front of another person.) I grew up watching Carol Burnett, Sonny & Cher, Donnie & Marie, etc.

There are just no words to describe how awful this show was. Both Nick and Jess were possibly the worst actors I've ever seen. And Jess's duets with actual talented people were just embarrassing. I spent the entire time feeling really sad for Jewel, Kenny Rogers and the others whose careers have sunk this low.

On the upside, I thought the ten uncomfortable seconds with Mr. T was comedy gold. I have a whole new respect for him. He probably got a glimpse of the situation and refused to appear with either of those dumbasses.

Ohh, me too! That right there almost made the whole thing worth watching for me. Almost.

Simon Crowell disses Jessica...http://www.webindia123.com/news/showdetails.asp?id=38859&cat=Entertainment

Also, Yuck she is officially playing Daisy Duke. I wonder will she go brunette for the role.

I love Simon Cowell

Just thought I'd let you all know that. : )

I'm not concerned about her playing Daisy Duke. I have never seen the Dukes of Hazzard anyway and I'm certainly not about to start now and ruin that record. ESPECIALLY if Jessica is on it. Yech.

Yep, me neither, and I am counting Jessica as one more good reason not to.

I bet she'll wear a wig. Her glossy blonde hair is her signature thing, I doubt she'd dye it. Or even be allowed to, now that her sister is the brunette one in their family.

Has anyone else seen Ashley's new music video "Pieces of Me"?

There are no words. Horrible. But, of course, you didn't need to be a rocket scientist to figure that out. Honestly, if you take away Jessica's looks and passable singing talent, you'll have Ashley. Scary, I know.

I caught it last night. She looks better as a brunette but her voice and the song are completely forgettable.

Ashlee's bangs have been bothering me forever. They are so ugly. They look like jagged pieces of hair stuck to her forehead. They don't move! Here are some pictures of her ugly hair. I first noticed them when I first saw her on 7th Heaven. I didn't know she was JS's sister so when I first saw her I was all, "Who's this ugly girl with greasy bangs that can't act?" No one can act on 7th Heaven, I don't know why I'm always surprised that they hire horrible actors.

Did anyone see this week's US Weekly? Jessica's donkey face is in it like 45 times. There is one section talking about which stars look like they've had breast implants, and they have a pic of Jessica a while ago and Jessica now. Her tits were so gross in the "before" pic. They were totally hanging down and droopy and sick. I don't have the pictures, but if someone else does, please post them!

P.S. Fuck you Jessica.

the link


there's the link to the us weekly scan.

OH my God, thank you!!!

Yes, world, blunt, straight cut bangs make you look like a psycotic doll, OK? I don't care if they are "cool" or in style right now or whatever, they do not look good on anyone. Least of all Ashlee.

Sorry, I get Cosmo, and after months of flipping past models that would be stunning if they didn't have that hideous damn hair cut, I am a little edgy.

Why does it bother me so much that whenever she goes all "sex kitten" she doesn't wear her wedding ring? She doesn't have it on in Maxim or the Sweetest Sin video (although Nick did). It wouldn't be so bad if she hadn't thrown her marriage in our faces for the last year or so. I'm married! I'm married! Wait...what dad? I need to be slutty? Let me take off my ring.

Maybe because I just got engaged, but it just bugs.

It looks like she had a breast lift, so those puppies won't look so droopy. I guess with her new fame comes new improvements...Wink!

Zing! Great description!

It's gotta be that. What exactly is a breast lift? I don't know what the process is. Anyway, she was on my local radio station a few days ago, talking about how she wishes her boobs were one size smaller. She went on and on about how she was the girl in junior high who developed earliest, and for her whole life, her boobs have been this "thing" that has gotten her too much attention.


My question to you dear Jessie....if your boobs are a sensitive subject for you, and if you do not like the attention the get, then why are you wearing outfits that expose them, push them together, smash them against your chest, and make them appear like two hard grapefruits???

Some of you like her you really really like her.




Yeah, and I'd expect to read all about them in Maxim. I didn't see the list but let me guess she beat out Pam, Britney, Paris, Carmen, etc. etc. LOL. It's Maxim not Vanity Fair. Class, style, talent, and grace is not something I would expect in Maxim.

Speaking of Maxim Jess is on the cover for June 2004.



No, he didn't.

But she did wear it in Cosmo and her latest video.

I guess it depends and like everything else in magazines it could have been airbrushed on or off. But I wouldn't expect her to wear it in magazines geared toward men.

It doesn't bother me. But then again I have an open mind about alot of things. On the other hand if I had a fat ass rock like she does I probably wouldn't take it off.

I noticed a lot of "younger" couples don't seem to always wear their wedding bands. I don't know if it's a youth thing, a way to appeal to more fans or a convenience thing - I had a modest-sized rock and it was a pain in the ass to wear all the time because it got caught on everything. My band, however, always stayed on.

ETA:

My understanding is that it's basically a facelift for your boobs - some skin from underneath is removed and the muscles underneath each breast are pulled up or tightened, depending on the boob. I've heard at least one plastic surgeon refer to it as an invisible bra.

too true. But I wouldn't say Paris Hilton, Pam Anderson, Britney Spears OR Carmen Electra have ANY talent, class or grace.



well i think that most things with "style" are pretty much low cut. I used to be really sensitive about my breasts and people would always ask "then how come you don't wear baggy shirts?" Well how come people can't keep from making comments?

Getcher breast lift right here.



At first I read that as "if I had a fat ass like she does" and oh, did it make me laugh.

YES! Her and her fugly sister both have beak noses that have a bump in them and stick out. All Jessica has going for her is her hair and boobs, women like Catherine Zeta-Jones and Charlize Theron blow her outta the water where looks and talent are concerned.

does anyone else feel like Ashlee's hair looks like a wig? I know its not, but its just so...ugly. And abrasive with her skin tone. She could've gone with a nicer chestnut brown or something....not that abrasive black. Yuck.

Yeah. I agree.. Ashlee's hair is way too dark for her. Plus, her bangs start from like, the middle of the top of her head. Her hair ALWAYS makes it look as if she's wearing a helmet of some sort.

You're both absolutely right. I'll now think of the Maxim 100 as basically the Maxim 100 Trashiest, Sluttiest, Skankiest No-Talent Bitches in Hollywood. I don't even know why I was looking for anything else out of that magazine.

Well, I went off Ashlee's bangs before but even aside from that her hair is horrible. When she was a blonde I think it was mostly the bangs that bothered me but now that almost-black brown she currently has makes it a hundred times worse.

My boss is like Jessica in that she says "People think I'm dumb because I have big boobs and I hate that they're such a focal point." However, she will purposely bring up her boobs to complete strangers in bars. Jessica and my boss will never get breast reductions because they enjoy the attention they bring. Annoying.

Count me in on the Ashlee's hair looking like a wig boat. I think she's got a semi-mullet going on with the shaggy bangs.

She does what?

I notice that Pizza Haus ad with Jessica is still being aired. When's that promo going to end?

kfree9, my roomate is the same way. Complains about how everyone is looking at her boobs. Well if they are hanging out so far I can see your nipples of course they are gonna stare. I'm like "you are doing this for attention." My sister has a bigger chest than Jessica and manages to look stylish and not hanging out everywhere just fine. You don't want people talking about your boobs, keep them from popping out.

Think about this: We all agree that she brings up the "problems" she had with her boobs just so people notice them and say "Oh no Jessica, you're so blessed to have such a great chest!"

But, Jessica would disagree. She would say that her breasts really HAVE caused her problems, and that she is merely bringing it up constantly to show she is not perfect.

Why then does she bring up a body part that she KNOWS is one of her finer points? Why not bring up her horrible stretchy braying donkey lips and talk about how she got made fun of for being able to swallow a watermelon whole? Why not talk about her bucky weird teeth?

My point is, if she wants to convey to her audience that she is not perfect, she needs to actually describe a body part that really ISN'T her greatest. If she had just brought up the boob thing once I wouldn't care, but she is constantly shoving this tit story in our faces (no, I did not say she was shoving the actual TITS in our faces!) so it gets really old really fast.

P.S. Fuck off Jessica.

I keep seeing that breath mint commercial that she also does with Ashlee, which is even worse. It's just painful to watch her try to act all cutesy and funny. She does all kind of weird things with her lips when she's talking. It freaks me out every time. And her "bucky weird teeth" are so blindingly white that the image of them is burned into my corneas for hours after her image leaves my television.

Yes, for real. I was with her in a bar a couple weeks ago and she started discussing the size of her chest with two guys we had just met. And, yes, she's married too. She just digs the attention. It's gross.

Back to Jessica and Ashlee, was I imagining seeing them in some mint commercial the other night where, again, Jessica was paying the bimbo airhead? Are these two supposed to be the new Smothers Brothers or something?

Can't co-sign on that one. Don't see the attraction with Zeta Jones and no way in hell that bitch is a day younger than 40.

Back to the topic at hand.

I like Jess and her sister. I think their new commercial is cute. I mentioned earlier that she is on the cover of Maxim. IMO these are her best pics ever.

www.maximonline.com

Yes, let's. Because my friends cannot see, even after me pointing it out in numerous pictures that Jessucka has weird.assed.buck.teeth!

If you go to the Swan thread (I know, I know, the Swan is trashy and dirty, but the snark is fun!), "Horse Teeth DaVinci Porcelain veneers are mentioned a lot. I think Jess has said Horse Teeth veneers and they make her teeth look big, buck, and scary.

They are starting to keep me awake at night.

Bless all of you who can see that her teeth are buckin' bad.

So for this breath mint commerical does she sing her shit rendition of TMBA?

"Take my bad breath awayyyyyy.........!!!!"

Now that might actually be good. The breath mints are called "liquid ice" and she just acts all stupid and confused about whether they're liquid or ice because, you know, she's the new Lucille Ball.

Please, corporate America, stop hiring this stupid chick. Make her go away.

Preach it. I think she's pretty, but a few years ago when I read she was 30 or 31, I thought it was a misprint.

There was a rumor that she had to undergo a background check in order to attend some sort of White House function during the Clinton Administration. Anyway, supposedly it revealed that she was born in 1962 and not 1969/70 as is usually reported.

Getting back to Jessica, I was looking through an old INSTYLE magazine article from about 3 years ago which featured Jessica along with some other female singers. Anyway, she looks really pretty and natural.

When I first heard of her, she looked like she could've been born in the late 60s. But lately, she seems aging. Have a couple kids can do that to you. I guess, I can see her being around 41. She looks and acts like she could be the same age as Johnny Depp (turning 41 in a few days!) or Tom Cruise, also 41. Heck..even Brad Pitt is also in his 40s.

I wouldn't be surprised IF she lied about her age through. Most ACTRESSES career goes down hill when they reach the 4-0, even though they might not go through any physical change. It is just the number that scares people off.

Egads! Is this like one of the signs of the apocolypse?

Well, it's not like she can dazzle people with her intelligence...

Must. Resist. Obvious. Lewinksi. Joke!

Aside from the droopy boobs, I also like older pictures of Jessica. She is clearly just being herself, instead of her current shtick, trying to be this air-head sex pot. I didn't really love her back when she was a fauxBritney but I liked her a hell of a lot more as that rather than the complete famewhore she has become.

P.S. Everytime I see that mints commercial I hate them both more. And it absolutely floors me that Ashlee is an actress. She can't even cover her ears and hum realistically. Figures that the only show that will hire her is 7th Heaven.

Does anyone have the old InStyle pics to post here? I'd love to see them. I have really never seen her in any magazines since she started her famewhoredom. I remember in 1999 (0r 2000?) hearing her on the radio being interviewed. She was so shy and quiet, and all she talked about was how she was brought up in such a religious home and that God is #1 to her. Seriously she was a totally different person.

According to today's Washington Post Express, Jessica is claiming to be "in the lead" for the role of Daisy Duke. "As of right now, I'm the No. 1 slot for Daisy, so hopefully nothing changes."

So apparently she doesn't actually have the part. Wasn't she claiming to be first in line for Jeannie before they gave that to someone else? Delusional twit.

Kind of. She didn't claim to actually have it, but was going around saying to anyone who'd listen that that was a role she was "in love" with and wanted more than anything. Her overzealousness probably freaked the producers out, and they didn't pick her. Smart. I loved the series and I would have been so pissed if it ended up being Jessucka in the movie. Its hard enough for a TV series to work as a film without an actress that is already a known dipshit.

Sorry, BostonPugGirl, I was just flipping through the InStyle and other magazines, I don't have the pics to post. But if you go back upthread and look at the post with the "before and after" pictures from Jess's (alleged) boob lift, and ignore her droopy tits, you can see in the "before" picture she was much more natural and less made up, tanned and schooled in famewhoreness. It was just a natural look that suits her much better, IMO.