The marriage lasting beyond another few years is an unbelievable stretch. I bet we see Nick go all Scott Petersen on her before they reach their five-year anniversary, if what is portrayed on TV really is their life. It's almost as if the parents have gotten worse since the first season. I seriously remember seeing them around a lot, but nowhere NEAR the amount of air time they've had this season. It's like they think that Jessica is even more famous now, so they need to be there to protect her and make sure Nick doesn't gain any fame from Jessica's sudden upsurge.

Ma and Pa Simp need to STEP THE FUCK OFF. I can understand their protection of Jessica, her being their firstborn and whatnot and young when she got married, but FACE IT: SHE'S MARRIED! SHE HAS A LIFE OF HER OWN! You need to let Jessica and Nick live without chaperones, and fucking creepy ones at that. I seriously don't know how Nick can stand them being around constantly.

I was watching the E! Blonde Bombshells series. (Shut up! I couldn't find the remote.) Annnnyway, Jessica has of course been nominated in a variey of categories. My personal favorite was "Brainey Blonde". The finalists were Jodie Foster, Gweneth Paltrow, and Jessica. People were saying that she has to be pretty smart to make people believe she's that stupid. No, she's actually that stupid.

Danny Bonaduchi was also talking about her in another episode. He was saying how, "men love the helpless woman thing! They find it so sexy! What man wouldn't want to me married to that!" Good fucking lord Danny- welcome to 2004. My eyes rolled so far back I got nervous for a moment.

But Jess and Nick both allow them to intrude. I understand Nick not wanting to say anything because they arent his parents and he may not feel comfortable expressing himself the way he would want to, but Jess should tell them to back off. MrD had to do this very thing when we were first married, and its tough, but after the initial hurt the D parents finally realized they were smothering us and that we didnt need our hands held for decisions that affected he and I.

The thing that I notice is that Jess doesnt seem to be bothered by them at all and thats when Nick needs to sit her down and have a serious discussion with her sans cameras, parents, friends and dumbass house guests. But as all have said before, he should have nipped it in the bud, now it just seems as if he's waiting out the cameras so as not to have it all play out for us at home and save her the embarrassment of being left. I wonder if he will feel he has to wait for Ashlee's show to be over now because Jess will most definitely infringe on her airtime now that Newlyweds is over.

ETA:
Well, Danny Bonaducciwouldnt want to be married to that since he is married to a hard handed woman. She straightened him out quite right and keeps him in line. I dont know wtf he's talking about.

Oh no. Jess said that she never had and never would go snorkeling - Ma Simp brought up the first boyfriend. Why would you say "[so-and-so] was the only one who got her to do [whatever]' to your son-in-law? That's just wrong. Then Jess says 'I did it with my first boyfriend, not my last'. Aarrgh!


If Nick said anything, surely Jess would punish him, i.e. no sex, more houseguests. Jess' mom is her BFF; there's no way for him to fight that.

Jessica isn't Ma and Pa Simpsons first born. She has an older sister. I started to feel bad because the family is obviously ignoring her because she doesn't want to be famous or in the spotlight. Then I realized that she is probably better off far away from this family.
I remember hearing something when Jessica first started out that she had and older sister and a younger sister and the radio DJ was telling people that all three sisters looked exactly alike. The useless random things I remember from 3 or more years ago.

Wow, she must really be the black sheep of the family, never even knew this chick existed. Even the Osbornes acknowledged to the public that they had a third daughter that chose not to appear on the show, but that they still oved her and she was still part of the family. The Simpsons are really fucked up.

I've never heard anything like that and can't imagine for a second that it's true. They've never, ever mentioned a sibling besides Ashlee on the show or in any other show/article.

Are you sure? Jessica Simpson's life is so public, I can't imagine that there is a third Simpson that nobody has ever ever heard about. I know that Britney Spears has an older brother (that no one ever mentions) and a sister who is about 10 years younger and I think is trying to become a singer. Are you sure you aren't mis-remembering?

It's not. There is just Jess and Ashlee.

OT:Her name is Jamie Lynn and she is on "All That" on Nickelodeon. I'm not sure about the singing part but she does want to act.

OT: she'll be in Playboy the day she turns 18 for sure. That girl doesn't stand a chance.

In other news: FREE NICK!

Mr. Maggiegault, for one.

But they never will because Jessica is their gravy train. They're also pimping Ashlee now but they've been using Jessica since she was 13, 14 to support the family and all the money comes from her. It looks like Joe is also managing a few others like Ryan, undoubtabley because of his 'success' with Jessica. She's certainly not going to tell them to take a hike.

Tomorrow is the finale of Ashlee's show, which has 8 episodes. That means there should only be two more episodes of Newlyweds.

Including the infamous "vow renewal" in the heart of Texas. It's pretty sad, but I'm actually looking forward to that. I now find great joy in over-analyzing Nick's every move on this show. That poor guy hates his life so much.

I remember things very well and I liked Jessica's first CD and this was the time I found out that she had two sisters. Also I remember way back in this thread that someone mentioned that Jessica mentioned Ashlee and her other sister, whose name was bleeped out, in an episode. I also remember Jessica saying in a radio interview that she had an older sister and a little sister. I also remember seeing a picture of the three sisters in some teenybopper magazine. I don't have the magazine anymore because I'm not in the teenybopper phase anymore.

According to Vanity Fair, Tina got married at 18 (where she lost her virginity), had Jess 2 years later, and had Ashlee 4 years later. Right? Wow, that first one came when Tina was a child herself. Some of the problems (and her poor parenting) make a bit more sense now.

If there is a third sister, which I doubt, she must be adopted.

If there is a third sister, then she must be living in seclusion. No Google search turns up any information on the alleged third Simpson sister. I'm sure there have been thousands of articles written about Jessica Simpson, and not one of them mentions anything about this supposed third sister.

There's no way Jessica has an older sister. And if she does, the pour girl must've lost her virginity when she was 14, therefore being exiled from the family and never allowed to be mentioned again. It's the only explanation. Or she has small boobs.

And what is this about Jessica and Nick renewing their vows? after being married 2 years? I guess they want to get it done and out of the way before the divorce.

Bwah!!! Oh man, that's frickin' funny.

She's the ugly, flat chested sister that they keep chained in the basement and feed her fish heads once a week.

If there is a missing Simpson sister-- she must be the ones with the 160 point IQ in the family. I'm sure there is a therapist out there making a fortune on her!

I wanted to post a WORD on that comment someone made about the 50's role reversal of Nick-Jessica (the breadwinner vs. the housewife). It does seem that the Simp family goes out of its way to say or do belittling things. I think Nick should write a book about how to keep your man and force Jessica to listen to it on tape (since I'm guessing she can't read).

I feel so bad for him. It seems like he got way less than he bargained for.

Jessica and Ashlee do not have another sibling.

Here's a snippet from the future True Hollywood Story: The Simpson Family Exposed;

"... Their older sister, CaCee, who had no talent in singing or dancing, was booted from the family and chained in the basement. Tina would go down every 12 hours to bitchslap CaCee and torment her. Ashlee and Jessica were always told to dump their trash down the laundry shoot, little did they know that their left overs were what CaCee ate. At the age of 25 CaCee moved out to LA, got plastic surgery, and became Jessica's assistant. After 5 years CaCee finally told Jessica who she really was, then killed her, ripped off her face, sewed it onto her head, and ran off with Nick. There has been no sign of the 2 since."

HA! Most excellent, Sir Duke!

I,m sorry to admit that I know this but the Jamie Lynn referred to upthread is Britney Spears sister.

What can I say, my kids watch Nickelodeon.

Not to sound bitchy, but I was 20 years old when I had my son. And I'm an awesome parent. However, I look at him as an enriching little person and not a mass-marketable product... I think that is where the problem lies; not the young age.

She had an older cousin who died in a car accident. They were very close like sisters. That is probably what people are thinking of. She used that to plug her and Nicks first duet "Where You Are." That girl is shameless.

Geez, yeah, she really is.

I have a very close friend who has the same kind of marriage. After three years, he's at the same point where Nick is now. Her charms are fading fast for him, her family is incredibly intrusive, she treats him rudely in front of his friends and she never gives him a moment of peace or privacy. But like Nick, he's incredibly stoic about her. He has an overly-developed sense of loyalty and I think that he feels that, having made his bed, he has to stay in it. There was one moment when he was so fed up that he was ready to walk. She then played her trump card and "suddenly" decided that she wanted to have his baby. He'll never leave her now. I'll bet that when Jess says she's "not ready for a baby", she actually means "I'm holding off on that one until I really need it".

I was watching the MTV Reality Awards last night, and of course The Newlyweds were nominated for many categories. I was struck by 2 things:

1) Best Kiss - I guess I never realized it the first time around, but their kiss under the waterfall was pretty hot! I always thought it was kind of creepy that the Simparents were there, watching, but after watching it again last night i was reeeallly creeped out! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT IN FRONT OF YOUR PARENTS?? Also, there was a lot of chemistry between Jessica and Nick, more than I ever realized. I wonder if it would be the same now?

2) Chicken of the Sea - Jessica really didn't mean to come off stupid, I'm convinced of that now. I think she really WAS confused, not about whether tuna was chicken, but about whether the brand Chicken of the Sea was tuna or chicken (if that makes any sense). In that scene, you can see that she didn't mean to be funny, she was just asking a silly question. After he explains it, she acts all serious and is like "Oh ok, I get it" and goes back to eating. In later eps, when she makes mistakes like that, she and everyone around her are laughing hysterically and TRYING to be funny. If you watch the scene again closely, you'll see what I'm talking about.

Yeah, I know, I was responding to this post:

No no no, I didn't mean to knock all young parents. (I couldn't do it. Tons of respect to people who do.) I was simply saying that MamaSimp’s over involvement in her children's lives, along with her desperation to be young and hip (juicy pants anyone?), might have some roots in her being married at 18 and a mom at 20. Oh, and the fact that she's married to a creepy psycho too.

That's probably exactly what it is. She had kids before she personally was ready. I mean Jessica even said she was the result of a broken condom, so clearly she was a surprise to them. There are plenty of people who make great young parents, but I don't think she was one.

They initially held off on having her cut an album -- but JamieLynn has been saying that she can sing much better than Britney for years now, and supposedly she recently began work on her debut album.

As far as Tina and Joe go, I think that while there are plenty of young people that are mature enough to handle the responsibilities of parenthood, there are also plenty of young people that are very immature through most of their twenties and even their thirties(and sometimes, God love them, their forties and beyond). Joe and Tina strike me as the kind of immature people that believe they can handle a lot more than they truly are capable of. I have a feeling, based on how I've seen them handle themselves on both their kids' reality shows, that they really didn't get a chance to go through that whole finding yourself process that happens on the way to maturity -- and therefore, they are seeking validation of who they think they might be in their children's accomplishments.

Edited because sometimes, the words, they come out jumbled. Damn brain.

ITA. It was just way too natural. No producer could come up with something like that, much less Jessica herself. We've seen them try to recapture that moment in nearly every single episode since and its clearly obvious and fake. I really do believe that she meant what she said. And to be perfectly honest, I didn't find it to be all that big a deal. I have definitely had my "blonde" moments and I was just fortunate that no cameras were around. For example, ( I have what most would consider a normal intelligence level, so this is really embarrassing, try not to laugh too hard) I was about a junior in high school before it occurred to me that "Kanga" and "Roo" from Winnie the Pooh was actually just Kangaroo broken in half. I had always thought that Kanga was a nice "Mom" name and Roo was a cute little kid name and that was it until I looked at the names spelled out next to each other and it just hit me.

And can you believe they let a genius like me into the Ivy League?

Oh Jesus, help us now. I'll hope for an Aaron Carter kind of poularity, where she thinks she's huge, but unless you listen to Radio Disney you wont ever hear her.

Jodie was close, but not a finalist. The finalists were Gwynneth, Jessica <cough>, and Reese Witherspoon. Why was I watching? I have no idea.

And if Jessica's brainy, the sky is most definitely the blackest black.

Heh, heh. Forget E! True Hollywood Story about the Simpson sisters, I want to see one about the Spears sisters in a few years! What a brat.

Hell, my dog can sing better than Britney Spears, so Jamie Lynn's claim may not be that far fetched.

Topic - I agree that there are only the two sisters - think about all the family get togethers they have shown - I don't remember anyone blurred out and can't imagine a sibling would skip holidays with their family just to avoid being on camera.

Being that its the Simpsons, I dont think this sounds too far fetched!

I don't either.

Look at it this way. Both Tina and Joe have the famewhore gene. What are the statistical chances that both of them were also carrying a recessive non-famewhore gene that got passed on to a third child Simpson child, who then decided to avoid the limelite entirely? I'm thinking they're pretty small.

Oops, you're right. My bad. It was late.

Why? I've skipped holidays with the parental family-units and other kin just to avoid having to be in the same room with certain "Hi, I' here with...." persons.

Just out of curiousity, does anyone think that Tina is a MILF? In the Joe & Nick bonding episode, when the girls are at the pool (when Jess gets back from the shoot), Tina is wearing the same dress that Jess is wearing (in a different color). Why? Did she think she looked good in it? 'Cause if she did, she was sadly mistaken.


Yes. A lot of geniuses have a problem with things that might be considered 'common sense' or obvious to other people. You were just on a different plane; that's why you couldn't see it.

I had my own chicken of the sea moment a couple of weeks ago. I had an epiphany, out loud, in a crowded room, that sprite is really clear and not green like the bottles. Seriously, it happens to the best of us.

Jessica is still an idiot though.

[QUOTE]I had my own chicken of the sea moment a couple of weeks ago. I had an epiphany, out loud, in a crowded room, that sprite is really clear and not green like the bottles. Seriously, it happens to the best of us.[QUOTE]

Natalita - I ask this will all due respect....if you thought Sprite was green - how did you think it turned clear when it gets poured into a glass. Again - I am asking, not criticizing.

I wanna know too!

My Jessica moment was when I was in grad school and I had a professor that always used to say "For all intents and purposes..." One day he enunciated it clearly enough for me to sit up in my seat...

Until that point, I had always thought that it was "For all intensive purposes" (In my mind, I thought that it meant that the purposes were very meaningful...hence, being "intense.") Ah me!

No offense taken. I was a dumbass. I knew sprite was clear, I just didnt think about it, I dont drink many sodas and said the first thing that came to my head. There was a promotion of clear sprite bottles, which looked really odd and prompted the observation. They looked strange and I wondered why the bottles werent green anymore, is this like Clear Pepsi? Which is why I call it my chicken of the seas moment. Its when you make a comment out loud, not fully thinking about the stupidity of what you've said, and if you thought about it for two seconds, you'd know that duh!! Sprite is clear. Duh, its tuna!! Everybody's had them, just admit it.

I dont fully blame Jessica for her dumb behavior though, because I dont know if she ever stood a chance. With parents like that, she would never have learned any type of critical thinking, which would have made her question her parents advice. Its a vicious cycle of dumbass-ness that feeds itself.

I feel really stupid now. Oh well, worse things can happen than a really embarrasing anecdote.