Thats what it sounded like to me too. I think if there had been a marriage, however brief, we would have heard about it.

I could not agree more.

I think there's almost no chance of this. I seem to remember during the early part of the first season reading an article that talked about Pa Simpson trying to get Jessica a gig hawking something on QVC. She's going to be her parents' cash machine for as long as she allows herself to be. And I think she's either too stupid to put an end to it or they'll lay on the guilt about the sacrifices they've made for her over the years. I see her as having a future on Hollywood Squares, Surreal Life, infomercials, mall tours, etc. And if Tony Orlando can make a living as a has-been in Branson, why couldn't Jessica? I think divorce is more likely because--agreeing with others--Nick would probably be comfortable living in obscurity while Jessica never will be.

Coming to Branson in 2006, the Jessica Simpson Theater.

I just had this dreadful thought, when the marraige does break up and she gets involved with someone new we will have to endure her spouting off in interviews about how different it was to have sex with another man. Because she had saaaved herself and never meant to have sex with anyone else ever. And then she'll write a book all about learning to live and love again after divorce.

I think four years is sufficient to get a clue, even if they didn't spend it always together. For him to say he wants to 'unspoil' her acknowledges that he does consider her to be spoiled. He will never be able to drag her away from Hollywood.

I actually think that Pa Simp is pushing this angle so hard that NICK will leave JESSICA. That way, Jessica doesn't come off looking bad, and Creepy Pa will be able to swoop back in and nurse the damaged hymen back to health, all the while playing up the sympathy angle.

Interesting. No wonder so many people have to sue. What some executives do with artists' royalties. I thought the record companies disbursed those themselves but there's a whole separate bureaucracy.

I hope for his sake that this opportunity does work out for him. I don't see this marriage lasting much longer and it would be nice if he could walk away having established himself away from the tentacles of the PaSimp & Co.




ITA on both counts.

I can totally see this happening. She's all about glorifying herself in any way she can.

I can see totally see Jessucka pimping out her own future children (biological or adopted) in an attempt to stay in the spotlight. Of course, Granpappy Perv and Grandma the "Fashion Stylist" would be helping her mold the future little star and get it's own MTV reality show about the pressures of growing up the "most talented wholesome" child in Hollywood.

I could go off on a rant of this latest episode. Instead I will simply say FREE NICK!!!

Anyone else want to join me?

No, not her ass, CaCee in the backseat!

That girl needs to get her own life going on

The local TV news the other night during their "Our Top Stories for Tonight" a short time ago began with "and news about the marriage of Jessica and Nick..."

I tuned in to find out when the divorce papers had been filed, only to find out that they were actually doing a piece on Nick and Jessica possibly adopting a baby! Christ, that's the top news for the night?

An open letter to Nick Lachey:

You are welcome in the home of Maggiegault whenever you want. When you are there, you can lay on the couch and scream at sports. No one will bother you with questions, unless it's "Can I get you another beer?" or "Do you need some more chips?" You and Mr. Maggie can wallow in your own sloth for as long as you like.

Mr. Maggie likes to putter around the house and yard on weekends, and you, Nick Lachey, could ably assist. Several trips to the Home Depot will be necessary, guaranteed. No dingalings tagging along asking retarded questions. Just plain old ordinary manly man time.

Dinner will not be Tony Romas or Baja Fresh or Chinese eats picked up by a reluctant KrayZee. We'll grill out and have us a nice barbeque. Steaks and corn on the cob and taters and plenty of beer. No beans dropped on the floor and then scooped back up into the pan. No half-eaten pickles in the jar. Nick, you can even have grill duty, if you want.

No creepy constant in-laws. No giggly idiot personal assistants. No bedrooms that could be used as a set on Sanford and Son. No idiots calling their tacky Louis Vuitton bags their "pets." Just a nice, normal, middle class weekend with nice, normal, middle class people like yourself. You can take the boy out of Ohio, Nick...but you can't take the Ohio out of the boy. Take it from me; I was born in Cincinnati, and that Queen City blood still runs through my veins.

Free Nick! Get out while you can!

I'm a native Ohioan too -- born and raised in Akron, though I haven't lived in Ohio for many years. ITA that you can't leave the Ohio behind no matter where you go, what you do, or how long you've been gone!

Nick, you can come to our house to play with a "real" dog (golden) any time you want -- throw bumpers in the lake and tennis balls in the yard for them to retrieve, go hiking with them, and all the outdoor life a Midwesterner and his dog is born to enjoy.




Run, Nick, run!! Your fellow Ohioans will be there for you, to give you shelter and your life back!

Hee. Looks like it's time for the Free Nick! icon to make a come back.

P.S. I may stand alone on this but I don't care if I have to light myself on fire in protest...I think Jessica is frugly!

Totally agree with you, veruca...She is ugly, but some think she is the hottest! Maybe all those "guys" she is using the "dumb act" on.

She is expendable. That is a really sad and sorry "flaw" in someone.

This thought occured to me when, an episode or two ago, "She's a Beauty" played while Jessica changed outfits in the mirror.

(But don't fall in love)
She's a beauty
(She's one in a million girl)
She's a beauty

...You can say anything you like
But you can't touch the merchandise
She'll give you ev'ry penny's worth

How squicky is that? I can't help but imagine PaSimp thumbing through records; looking for exactly the right sentiment...

On the "Nick & Jessica are headed for divorce" note:

Their relationship seemed sort of cute but infantile in the first season. Now the cracks are really showing... I was thinking today that they have a total High School Relationship. She's the head cheerleader, he's the glorified jock. Except they haven't had to leave high school yet. They're still in that "we'll be together forever because we heart each other and no one could ever love anyone like we love each other" mode. No serious problems have ever come up. Excepting Nick's chores and bills, they don't deal with the normal stresses of a married couple. They shop, play, dress up, go out to dinner every night, and fight over petty issues. It's totally 15 years old.

My husband and I are both young (21 & 25), but having been through job losses, a car accident, relative deaths, and an unexpected pregnancy; I can tell you it's not just the grand idea of love that gets you through. It's mutual respect and commitment. It's deciding to give someone the benefit of the doubt when you want to blame them. It's doing the two AM feeding when you've had one hour of sleep. It's comprimise. It's listening when you're tired and have a headache.

Nick wants to make the transition into Adult Relationship, Jessica is incapable of it & wants to stay in High School. Neither are happy. Both are feeling cheated. No good can come of the current situation.

If I were a betting woman, I'd give them 2 years and put $20 on it.

Any woman who quotes a Tubes song in her post is cool in The Book of Maggie.

Loved it back in '83, love it now.

They don't make 'em like that anymore. Now they just do really crappy cover versions.

In addition to "She's a Beauty," and in light of his appearance on American Dreams (which I'm sure they all love to bits), this came to mind. Now, as to how much of it is true, draw your own conclusions.

I finally caught the Nick/CreepyPa bonding show..(1). CreepyPervPa should not go shirtless..and while I am aware this would perpetuate the farmer's tan he's got going, it would spare my eyes from the sight of his man boobs. There's plenty of those here at home if I want to see them. (2). Way to bond while talking on the phone all the time. I'm afraid that I talk on my cell phone *(a blackberry just like CreepyPa's....UGH) and now I resolve to cut it out and not be such a self important poo-head such as has been demonstrated with easy by the aforementioned CreepyPa (3). Free Nick.(4) YEA! for Nick catching the Marlin...I'm so proud.

Newleyweds...my version:

Nick: "Baby, I caught a marlin today!"

Jessucka: "I heard."

Nick: "You heard? You heartless bitch...you HEARD? You didn't even congratulate me you fuck-tard! I hate you! (Throws Jessucka overboard with life vest)

Fade to boat speeding towards shore with all family and Cra-Zee looking on a chuckling from the back of the boat with wine glasses raised.

Jessucka: "Ba-beeeeeeeee"

Adding to kallaloo's masterpiece:

Creepy Pa: We still have another one, right?

Dumbass Ma: I think so. Angie or Ansley or something?

Creepy Pa: How big are that one's boobs?

Does anyone else find it funny that whenever company is in the house, her husband immediately makes a beeline for the wine? This guy's turning into Al Bundy right before our very eyes.

Seriously, can you blame the guy??

Let's just hope that in five years he doesn't just start swimming for Hawaii one morning..

OMG that was SUCH a good version of Newleyweds. Now THAT would be entertaining to watch.

I was watching some of the repeats this afternoon, and I really noticed how often we see Nick with a beer in his hand. Seriously, in like every shot he had an alcoholic beverage of some sort. Now, while I don't blame him in the slightest, and myself would need straight whiskey to numb the pain of being stuck with Simp and her entourage, he's headed straight for a "very special episode" of Newlyweds.

Now that Ashlee's show has been renewed (so I heard, not sure if it's true,) I don't think there's any way Simp is done having a show of her own. They will either call it something other than "Newlyweds" or it will focus more on her new "acting" career or something (leaving Nick hopefully out of it,) but no way is she letting little sis steal some more of her spotlight.

Though, judging by the look on Nick's face during the entirely contrived round robin idiocy of woodchucks and acorns and beaver tails, and his reaction while leaving the dinner, he won't be around much longer anyway.

What are some good sites to find celebrity news? Like on Jessica, Nick, Ashlee, they're shows...?

Nick, if whatever is leaving turds in your yard is large and goes for the throat, no one will be sad if you let it attack Jessucka. You can come evade justice at my house afterwards.

Pa Simpson has to be one of the most un-self-aware dickheads around. HAAAAATE. And the dinner conversations about woodchucks and beavers and stout and such were so stupid they were damn near offensive. Shut it, all of you bimbettes.

The only thing I liked about this episode was Jessucka's outfit at the first dinner (the square-cut neck and palazzo pants).

ColdGreg, my fingers continue to be crossed that that icon will one day be on glarkware.com.

According to Jessica at her concert last night K-si have moved out. K-si and Nick really get along they just fight like brother and sister. It's the editing that makes it look bad. Um ok if this is true then the editors at MTV need to win a fucking academy award. I know all about editing and camera tricks but you can't edit someone's fucking personality. Not to sound redundant but HER DAD IS THE FUCKING EXEC PRODUCER!! He has final say. So basically Jessica is saying her dad likes to make Nick look bad? Fuck.Off.Jessica.

I have noticed the same thing, Ananayel and since I was watching a few back-to-back repeats Sunday a.m., there were many brewsky shots and many seemed to be rather early in the day. I don't point this out because I am never an irresponsible drinker meself (ha!), but there does seem to be some trouble here.

Nonetheless, I laughed myself senseless when the "Courtship of Eddie's Father" themse was played over the montage of Nick and Pa Simp bonding --with their respective cell phones!

It's definitely what I think, anyway. Nick stole Jessica from CreepyPa, married her, and took her precious virginity! He gets to see the boobies! It's sick and wrong but I totally think it's true. I really think Joe Simpson sees Nick as a rival of sorts, hence the episode where they golf, ride ATV's, etc. All designed to make Dad-- Exec-Producer-- look good, and Nick look bad. I know I'm not alone in this.

If Jessica actually realizes this.... which I doubt.... then awesome. I'm more inclined to say, however, Fuck. Off. Pa.

OMG, that was brilliant. I will be laughing at this all day.

Sort of OT, but I saw Nick and Jessica twins this weekend. I was leaving a cosmetics store, and this silver mercedes pulls up and a guy with frosted brown hair and a striped workshirt gets out. The girl is wearing an exact duplicate of Jessica's pink derby hat and a striped halter dress. She's on her phone, and he's looking around, looking paranoid and pissed at the same time. Ok, the more I think about it maybe it was them. I didn't get a good look at their faces, but if I didn't know any better, I wouldn't thought it was them. I live in So Cal, but not really in LA. Just thought I'd share.

hmm depends on what you consider to not really be LA...because technically foolio and foolia do not live in LA either.

There was an article about Jessica's concert in the SF Chronicle the other day. Jessica article It isn't as snarky as others, but still pretty interesting.

Finally saw the Nick/Papaperv bonding episode. I think it was mentioned upthread already but a few points (sorry to repeat, if I did).

1) did you notice how anxious Nick was to get his friends to go on the boat too? he keeps calling, pacing, waiting... anything to avoid a whole day alone with PapaPerv.

2) Was it totally rude for Jessica to say that the only man who got her to go snorkling was her first boyfriend? and how mamasimp laughed over that. I would never mention an old bf in that context with Mr. Schoolzout, and my parents wouldn't have been that way. Sheesh!

3) word on the dream sequence regarding throwing Jessica off the boat when she said "I heard" to Nick's "I caught a Marlin". Sheesh, Jessica needs constant confirmation on her shoe choice! can't she give Nick some love at least?

4) on the oyster topic-- gross! They are either trying so hard for another tuna/chicken thing or she is really this clueless. Either way, it's annoying.

I am on board to free Nick!

Oh i completely agree with #2! she could've just said she had gone snorkling once, and she's not interested in trying it again. But even after said had said she had gone with her first boyfriend, she didn't need to add "He was the only one who could get me in the water." that just makes Nick seem less important. What a bitchy thing to say.

YES. I completely forgot about that, but yes, at the time of viewing it made me want to hurl things at the TV. Ma/PaSimp are completely worthless wastes of space.

From the linked article:



HEE! Snark doesn't get much better than that!

Yes, I think the SF Chronicle really goes out of their way to be snarky to her. Wonder if they are members of this forum? LOL.

The other article was very worse, talking about her IQ. I actually giggled out loud when reading both articles on the way home.

I know they get paid to drink Miller Lite but I don't know about the other beverages.



I have tried to understand her mother but she tends to be very sneaky. Back in season one she was being kind of sarcastic when talking about Nick and his reasons for not wanting a maid and then he comes into the room and she was totally nice all of a sudden.



I agree with this somewhat but when you boil it down Jessica, Cacee, and her father come across far worse than Nick ever has. So it all seems to even out.

Jess was mentioned in today's NY Post Page Six: article.

From the linked article:



Day-uhm.

Not sure if this article was posted, but it's a short one about how much space there are at her concerts.

Whoever Lee Kasper is in this article, he is very delusional.

From the SFGate article




This isnt the same Ryan that's ovelapping on Ashlee's show, is it?



Word, she just seems to go out of her way to make Nick feel insignificant. I dont understand why Nick hasnt snapped. Not in the sense of impending divorce, but I really want to hear him get angry and demand to be treated with the respect he deserves.
In a sick and twisted way, they have a a role reversal from a couple from the 40's, in which the spouse that doesnt work (Nick) cant piss off the spouse that brings home the bacon (Jessica). One of these days, Nick is going to stand in front of Jessica wearing his apron and crying to her that "you dont appreciate me, I clean and slave away at home all day long and you dont even notice, all you want to do is hang out with your friends, all you tell people is about the sex, is that all I am to you?"

He he

I'm pretty sure it is. I loved the writer's hair comment.

If the apron is the only thing he is wearing, I will burn this episode to DVD and cherish it forever.

Well he kinda did when he got irritated and said the "I can't have a conversation with you.." but she still wasn't listening to him when he said that.

I'm sure when they watch the show, she prolly cracked up when that part came up and din't get that he was mad.
Jessica: hahahaha.... Butterflies!! Yeah, they're pretty...

In my mind, he married a moronic spoiled brat that makes him feel in charge, and therefore gets exactly the respect he deserves, none.

*Applauds Selma04*

Word!

Amen Selma -
He is obviously one of those men that needs to "take care of his little woman." And Jessucka plays oh so much into that...she's a smart little cookie in that regard.

However, when their careers (or one of heir careers ) crash and burn, which is inevitable, trouble is afoot.

This is not a couple who can deal with one or both being a failure.

Holywood is filled with such couples who break up because one half is getting more attention than the other. These two are not mature enough to be able to ride that wave when it hits.

I finally watched the Nick and PervDad Bond episode and was happy to get a glimpse of the mysterious Paves. I'm sure PervDad has secret fantasies of watching Paves and Nick get it on.

Also, I noticed that, in introducing the "bonding with my son-in-law" theme, PervDad said something along the lines of how he didn't know Nick very well because in the early stages they (the Simps) were worried that Jessica was going to get married too young. Well, I can understand that. But then she did get married and what happens? Did they support her choice and welcome Nick to the family? Not really. Her parents do all these things that are almost sure to ruin the strongest of marriages! One day we'll find out the real story on this and it will be even worse than it looks.

Regarding Jessica saying "hard on" at the dinner table, in a public restaurant, in front of her parents: This girl has NO boundaries! And it's not really her fault because clearly the Simps have never taught her to have any. That's pretty sad. On the other hand, I wonder if it would do any good for Nick to patiently say to her, "Honey, I know your family is rather 'open' about sexuality, but that doesn't mean the conversations you have in public are appropriate." But she doesn't listen to him anyway.

I really thought this marriage had a chance in the first season, but I can't see it lasting now.