Not fading fast enough. Jess will host and perform on Fox's Sumer Music Mania show Tuesday June 1. The variety show will repeat on 5/22 if you missed the awfulness the first time. And if that wasn't enough she's going on tour this summer.

This just in - Jessica's sitcom is not likely to get picked up:

USA Today coverage of fall pilots, including Jessica's

Just saw a promo, Nick will be part of MOTOWN 45 Anniversary this Monday on...where else, but ABC.

As long as it's JUST Nick, that's great : )

I followed that link and speed-read; the paragaph below it ends in blah blah, 'Satan's daughter' and I thought it was talking about her! Oops!

I think she brought her sitcom failure on to herself. I usually don't believe in jinxing, but with the Genie movie she talked and she didn't get cast. Now her stupid sitcom. How many times did we have to hear her say on every damn talkshow and article that it's about a journalist named Jessica Sampson and she is sort of ditzi and her co-anchors don't like her because she got such a good job even though she is young. HATE. Does anyone know how Dessert is doing with sales? "Lickable Lotion"[/JS everytime she talks about Dessert] HATE.

Or it's possible that she didn't get the Genie (or is it Jeannie?) gig and the pilot didn't get picked up because Jessica cannot act. Every time I see that buffalo pizza commerical, I feel like I need a drink. Her normal behavior makes me feel embarrassed for her, but her acting. . .there are just no words. Plus for that VH1 music award skit that she did, it took her eight hours to get through a couple of lines. She wasn't familiar with half of the words. Can you imagine the expense of shooting a sitcom with her as the lead?

Holy fucking ass that is the best thing I've heard in a while.

As far as the jinxing theory goes, didn't she also spout off about playing Daisy Duke in the Dukes of Hazzard remake? I remember her saying she was perfect for the part because Daisy is "sweet, sexy, and Southern." Fucking.Kill.Me.Now.

I just got my US Weekly in today, and there is a two-page spread about her recent vacation to Cabo. I was feeling a tad jealous when the article showed the pictures...and her freaking parents were there! WTF?? When has this girl EVER done anything alone with her husband? On Newlyweds they showed them going to the Bahamas, along with Nick's brother Drew and his wife. Everywhere you turn, there are her weirdo parents hawking their every move. I swear she doesn't even like being around Nick and makes sure her parents are always there as a buffer.

Hasn't Nick complained on more than one occasion that they do not have enough sex? Does she keep her parents around on purpose to deter that?

Got more info on the Motown thingy...

TV GUIDE: Icons of the seminal soul label mark its 45th anniversary by performing the magical music that makes sitting still an impossibility.

Performers include the Funk Brothers, the Four Tops, the Temptations, Gladys Knight, Smokey Robinson, the Commodores, and Supremes Mary Wilson and Cindy Birdsong. Lionel Richie and Cedric the Entertainer host the event, which also features the Backstreet Boys, Wayne Brady, Jermaine Jackson, Macy Gray, Nick Lachey, Michael McDonald, Brian McKnight, Kelly Rowland, Joss Stone, Raven-Symoné and Nick Ashford and Valerie Simpson.


Guess Nick won't be performing.

The Backstreet Boys? Joss Stone? Raven- Symone? Kelly Rowland? and Macy Gray? These singers aren't even related to MOTOWN.

If its these, then it wasn't their much-talked about Jan/Feb trip, but rather them filming in Cabo on May 9th for the series. And we all know their folks practically move in during the filming of the series.

Who knows? Maybe N and J actually did spend time together alone on vacation in early '04. Woudn't be suprised if I was proved wrong, though.

Edited to add: apparently the other night in Avalon, the bouncer started hassling her friend. When J got involved the bouncer basically told her to Fuck Off and kicked them all out. Jessica promptly burst into tears in front of the paparazzi, thereby making the drama All About Her rather than her friend, who was the one getting the shit in the first place.

That same US Weekly article said that Jessica was reading magazines and admiring pictures of herself in them. Ugh. The end of her fifteen minutes can't come soon enough for me.

From IMDb's news and gossip feature (which, in all fairness, is often dead wrong):

Can somebody please explain to me what Nick Lachey is doing on the upcoming Motown 45 awards/honors show???

I can understand Nick being there more than some other artists.

98 degrees were MOTOWN artists afterall. I believe they were and are the only all white group ever signed with this label. I actually like their materials a lot when they were still with Motown before they went pop.

burping frog, you have no idea how awesome you are. You just made me entire weekend posting that.

I'm hoping her Dessert lines goes tits up soon, just like her fall pilot will, and just like (crossing fingers and praying) Newlyweds and her shit music will.

Well, durr! For what else would one use edible body creams?

Jess and her father manager are just so stupid that they don't get that, although it's okay for her "to have sex until she's blue in the face" (Ew, Ew), most of her fans are probably around ten. Those sexualized photos that were linked to a while back and the lickable cosmetic line are so inappropriate for someone who wants to convince herself that she's a role model for young girls. Is that the kind of role model her father, a former minister, would have wanted for his daughters in their pre-teen years?

It's possible that their utter stupidity will cause a parental backlash and kill her career even faster than her complete lack of talent. Which is fine by me, because I can't wait until I can look at a rack of magazines without seeing her vacant look of stupidity staring back at me.

I remember reading something about the fact that Jessica had nothing to do with the creation of/designing of her shit-ass Dessert line. Does anyone remember something about an article talking about the photo shoot for the Dessert line, and how she was picking up the different products and saying things like, "Oh this is so cute!" and "I like the way the bottles are designed!" as if she was seeing them for the first time? Please, someone remember for me! My mind has turned feeble with all of the articles and pictures of her constantly shoved in my face by the media!

That was in the episode where she got sick and crawled down the hotel hallway.

Not necessarily the case -- TV Guide phrased their synopsis strangely. For instance, Kelly Rowland, who they listed similarly to Nick in that synop, performed twice.

Check out these pictures of Nick from gettyimages.com. Not sure if he's talking or singing there, but it looks like he's singing.

It is for one that wants his daughter to make as much money as possible, like Pa Simp so obviously does.




Yeah, "Jess's" (eyeroll) line of cosmetics Dessert uses her only as the face of their product. She had absolutely no involvemnt in creating it. In the episode where she was sick during the photo shoot, she was saying in the very beginning that it was a "perfume" or something, when it was also lotions, make-up etc. She clearly had no idea what the hell it was until she saw it at the shoot. Then, of course, she was all over it.

Although, she really is the perfect spokesperson for edible beauty products. I'll bet that its not the first time shes tried eat makeup. (Nick probably had to explain to her that it wasn't edible, and then the Dessert people came up with the perfect solution for her!)

OK, THAT is pathetic. That explains why the ads in the magazines don't say her name anywhere. The image is of her and that friggin cupcake, but nowhere in the text does it say her name. Now I know many of you probably don't like J.Lo, but wasn't she AT LEAST involved in the creation of her perfumes, clothing line, jewelry line, etc.?

I shouldn't be surprised. Jessica is of the whole class of pop stars out there now who have no involvement in anything they do. I assume she doesn't write her songs and basically has them handed to her. Really, she does nothing for herself at all. Everything in her life is done for her and handed to her.

P.S. Fuck off Jessica.

More like poop star...

Here's a link with two different sources (one speaking under cover of anonymity) with two different opinions on just how much she had to do with Dessert (scroll down):

She had LOTS to do with it! No, she DIDN'T!

For me, the giveaway is those silly-ass sprinkles. That's really when it crosses the line from beauty product into edible underwear territory.

i thought that was so bizzare on that episode when she was all "ooh how cute this is" when (like everyone else here has said) if you were involved wouldn't you know how it looked? even if she hadn't been involved in the packaging design you would probably be given a prototype or a final product to make sure you like it, if it has your name on it, wouldn't you?

i looked up the line at sephora's website and it doesn't really seem that bad but it is very very overpriced IMO. shoot i can go to Spencers gifts for their large selection of edible chocolate for my body.

If you go to that link, make sure you hit the "next question" button at the bottom of the page. It takes you to another Jessica related question, about--literally--media whoredom.

If you keep going on the "next question" even more, there is another question involving her. It is about how white celebrities eyes look on magazine covers, and they use her Allure cover as an example, making a comment that it takes a lot of work to make Jessica's eyes look "so vacant."




Bath bubbles for $30? Does that seem like a lot to anyone else? Plus, her target crowd is, as we have said before, 10-14 year olds. Are they really going to be ordering $30 bath bubbles on sephora.com? At least Hillary Duff's shitty Stuff by Hillary Duff line is targeted and priced towards her audience's age group. Jessica is trying to act like she's got this big mid-twenties and up fanbase.

Why do I fear that she DOES have a (small percentage) fan base that age group?? Please, I can only pray, that she does not. But SOMEBODY is buying that shit!

When is her 15 minutes going to be up? I pegged it for a while ago. Why isn't it up yet?!?!

I just checked out Nick's performance at MOTOWN 45. Yes, he actually performed.

The guy can sing live pretty decent but bland, still better than many "singers" out there. But he had no charisma. I used to watch him performed from time to time throughout the year when he was still with 98 degrees. Nick definitely needs a group behind him (or in front..doesn't matter). He is not a watchable solo performer. He lacks a good stage presence (I always found Drew to have the best stage presence--he knows how to loose himself, while Jeff is the best singer of the four--Nick just happen to be the "lucky" member who was dating another pop singer).

I also noticed in this performance that he started to pick up some of his wife singing traits. His singing with Jermine Jackson was kinda like Jess with Jewel during the Variety Hour. Both pairs sounded good, but somehow Lachey/Simpson have the tendency to physically over expressed themselves. I never noticed that in Nick before till now. Before this, the things I found annoying when he sings was how he tend to put his hand on his chest or making a fist repeatedly, the way he turned his head, his disconnection toward the audience, and his stiffness. Now he also swings his arm left and right. Of course, he will never be nearly as bad as Jess.

I couldn't agree more. I saw him on Letterman about the time his album first came out, I guess during the first season of the show. I was stunned by his lack of charisma, or really anything at all. He shimmied around a little and moved his forearms a bit, but just incredibly blah. I agree, just not watchable. The only thing that could possibly make him any worse is if he picks up traits from Jessica; that would take him from snooze-inducing to freakish and disturbing. I can't wait to watch this show.

More endorsement deals. This time Jessica and Ashlee are hawking breathe mints. Slightly more kid friendly than edible body lotion.

Taken from the article:



Jesus H. Christ. How many of her stupid-ass, totally scripted "misunderstandings" are going to land her endorsements? The whole "I don't eat buffalo" getting her the Pizza Hut deal is enough. I remember reading in US Weekly in the fall an article with her talking about wanting an endorsement with Chicken of the Sea, which apparently has not happened. But breath mints? You know she's going to find some oregano company to endorse her whole planned "What's or-ee-gano?" line. Shit pisses me off.

ABC'S Fall Schedule doesn't have either Jessica or Nick's shows as being picked up. The 15 minutes are decreasing people.

Considering that ABC has really struggled with finding good shows and ratings lately, Jessica's show must have really sucked. Otherwise, they would have picked up her show in hopes of getting more and younger viewers.

Wasn't Nick's show Shacking Up with Fran Dresher? If so, it's been picked up as a midseason on the WB.

I thought that the show he was on was with Gina Gershon, although I can't think of the name of it right now.

Well, I am for one am relieved as hell that Jess will not be getting her sitcom deal. The whole thing was just too ridiculous for words, every single plot would revolve around her stupidity and ditziness. As if that wasn't old enough already.

I just picked up US Weekly and there was a big spread about Jess, Nick and a vaction they took in Mexico with her parents (of course). And there was also a quote (it wasn't in this weeks issue, I think maybe two weeks ago) where Jess was quoted as saying that of course her minister Dad doesn't mind her suggestive cosmetics line since "he gets a percentage off [her]".

Wow, where to begin with that statement. First, how nice that Mr. Christianity will toss aside all morals for some cash and second, the phrasing of her quote just adds to the squickiness of her relationship with her father.

The stupidity and ditziness is getting very old. But added to that would be her horrifying inability to act. I'd love to see the pilot sometime just for the snark value, but I'm sure I couldn't tolerate watching it. It would make me sad because I'd just feel so very bad for all her co-stars--who would probably be reasonably talented--and the sad, sad turn their careers have taken that they are being forced to work with a dumbass like Jess.

I caught part of an E! True Hollywood Story last night about Jenny McCarthy and her failed variety show and sitcom, and was surprised that I hadn't thought of the similarities between her and Jessica before.

They both get on my nerves, they are both famous basically for being blonde bombshells, they are both obnoxious in their own ways, and they are both overly impressed with themselves (I never bought that JM was "self-depracating" - I always felt like she hammed it up so people would say she was gorgeous AND funny, but really, not so much funny). I think Jessica does have some singing talent, but if a plain looking girl sang exactly like her, the public would never know about it. Jenny McCarthy pretty much just went away after a while, so it gives me hope that Jessica will soon, too.

How right you are Green, how right you are.

It was. The name of the show was Hot Mamas.

Submitted for your approval. This was a small item in a larger daily column ('Daily Dish') that appears on SFGate

SIMPSON BEATS SPEARS TO DAISY DUKE ROLE
Britney Spears' hopes of landing the role of Daisy Duke in the forthcoming movie version of "The Dukes of Hazzard" have been dashed -- after bosses handed it to Jessica Simpson.

While Spears had expressed an interest in playing the sexy character from the TV show, Simpson has been chosen as the blonde who will fill the extra-short shorts of original Daisy Duke Catherine Bach.

Simpson's manager father Joe tells Star magazine, "She is really excited."

Simpson herself adds, "I wanna wear those shorts so bad!"

The film begins production this summer.

ETA: Wasn't Catherine Bach a brunette on that show?

Yes. Damn this is going to stink so bad. Another bad tv remake to head to the movies.

It's been a project that's been in the works for at least 2 years now.

Ashton Kucher's name has been bandied around to play one of the Duke Boys and such.

But so far, blessedly, it's all talk.

If they already casted Jessica, might as well cast Ashton for the other role. The film is doom anyway (if there's still humanity left).

So why not kill two 15-minutes fame hogs with one stone?

One other thing, my sister mentioned that she heard Ashlee's single on the radio. NOOOO!!!!

I think the posters point was that they probably haven't actually cast Jessica because this thing has been floating around for a few years, I think its actually been longer than 2 years and many other names have been attached.

Ah! I knew if I dug a little I'd find some info. YIKES. This thing may actually happen....

IGN articles about the Dukes project...

1/22/2004

12/1/2003

7/31/2003

"Door to Door" was also the title, I believe, of a Hallmark movie about the true story of a mentally disabled man who was a door to door salesman for forty or some such years. William H Macy had the lead, to much acclaim, and when I read the article from 1/22/04 I was confused. Like "What would Britney Spears be doing in something like that...?"

Yeah, I have my "Jessica" moments, definitely.

OMG! Check out the Access Hollywood clip of Jessica's Night Club incident. Jessica is not only playing the "God card" again but she's actually talking about her having an "entourage" which basicly consists of her family! LOL! It's too funny!

Saw it. Jessuckuh completely runs over Ashlee's words. "I saved the day! I'm the hero!"

Someone please dump a keg of Shut the Fuck Up on her head. Please?

Bad bad BAD cover. I think it'd be cool if every time people requested "Take My Breath Away," the radio DJ's would play Berlin's version. :)

I do like "Sweetest Sin" and "A Little Bit" - but this? UGH.