Haha no worries LizzieDrew actually I think you were more defending the idea of waiting not really defending Jessica. I know it's believable and not a radical thing. I know people who waited. But it wasn't speculation on my part, it was info that I gathered long ago. I was probably better off not running my mouth about it because it starts and argument and they don't like that on here. Anywho it came from people close to situation. I call them a situation and not a couple because calling them a married couple offends all the real domestic partners out there.

I watched one episode of Ashlee's show and she was going to be in a video for someone and when they were washing her hair and she leaned up she looked exactly like Britney Spears and I too think Lynn and Tina are twins seperated at birth.

As for the article on wall street journal site-call me a dummy but there were too many big words and analogies for me to make heads or tails from it. call it a Jessica moment but I was totally clueless and had no idea what the author was trying to say.

I think Jessica subscribed to the idea that sex=a penis in a vagina, so anything else goes and you can still be a virgin. I believe Nick confirmed on the Howard Stern show there was quite a bit of hanky-panky going on before the wedding.

I believe her when she says it was great. Why? While waiting to have sex isn't uncommon, I've always thought she lied about waiting until her wedding night. Okay maybe she was "technically" a virgin but, Nick said on Howard Stern that they had pretty much done everything else. I think it's creepy how excited the Simpson clan was so excited about her "first" time. I can see her mom prepping her for the big event - ' Oh Jessica you thought __________(sexual act) is good wait until you actually have sex!' Afterwards Jessica calls home - 'Oh my GAH! You were soooo right! It was so much better not having to stop after__________.'

ETA: Hey Vermicious Knid Cross post! Great minds think a like!

Hee. And word, y'all. I've also heard the (not uncommon) belief that sex = penis in vagina (thanks, Vermicious Knid), so Jessica "waiting" was probably not the Herculean feat that she makes it out to be.

I feel sorry for Nick right now, but at some point the guy has to grow a set or I'm not going to feel sorry for him anymore.

I finally saw the Angels video. That was truly horrible. I don't even understand the concept.

It's moral if it's oral.

Well that explains frat boys and "I'm not gay", but what about the ladies?

I hesitate to even post this because I'm not sure I can word it without sounding like I'm insulting people which is SO not what I'm trying to do. But as someone who waited until I was married to have sex (and didn't buy into the "oral is moral" way of thinking), the first time WAS amazing. Technically it was definitely awkward, but emotionally it was extra special because I was older, I had really thought about it, I'd been with mr. berm for a long time etc. etc. Again, I'm not saying anyone who had premarital sex doesn't value it, but I think for those who choose to wait there is an extra emotional level there.

Annnnnd I can't believe I'm posting this on the friggin' internet.

To make this slightly on topic, I think Jessica's a moron, she comes across as a situational Christian which I hate, I'm tired of hearing about how she was a virgin before she got married, and I think it's really, really freaky that her family thinks it's great that she's having sex. I hope it's a very long time before she procreates.

"Oh my Gah!" Those episodes were hillarious! It was so stupid and funny when everyone kept telling her to shuttup.

Well, Jessica is babysitting a friend's baby in the next epi. THANK GAH (hehe) Nick is there.

Yeah, this seems like a funny ep. I love how, in the promos, the baby is pulling Jessica's hair. That baby must be a TWOPer.

And if it was *awesome* the first time, what word describes it after you worked out the mechanics a bit? ;D

I probably would've said the same about my first experience, but I'd have been overstating because I didn't know nuthin' then. I didn't wait until marriage, but I waited a long time, and all I can think is... why the hell do some guys love the idea of a virgin? I'm a much more *awesome* lover, now that I'm all tarted up. That's probably why I'm word-smithing a little, but really, where do you go from awesome?

Regarding the FREE NICK movement: I signed up for a t-shirt last year. But this year, I'm starting to feel like Lizziedrew. I'm not going to feel sorry for the guy much longer. As some wise poster said a few pages back, Nick got what he deserved.

It always seems to me that guys who like the idea of virgins are the same ones who like women to be less intelligent than them - it's all about relative power in the relationship, me thinks. No need to feel threatened by a blithering inexperienced idiot.
And, much as I love Nick (and Cinci!), he seems insecure enough to want the most child-like bride around, just to bolster his self-image. If that's the case, he and Jess are made for each other. Oh, the things they'd learn from some marriage counseling...

In the previews for next week, where he's playing with the baby, he's actually smiling for the first time this season. For that brief flash, he looks like the old happy Season One Nick.

Well, jerry, we won't go there. I don't want to turn into Jessica after all :-)

I hear what you're saying, though. Lord knows as much as I enjoyed my first sexual experience I'm not going to go on TV and repeatedly talk about it like it's the latest blockbuster movie. "Two thumbs up, y'all!"

Heh, Berm, you're a wise one. Besides, I wasn't expecting an answer, just demonstrating that later on, Jessica probably needed a word that exceeds awesome. So far, all I've got is "mind blowing". But that's two words. Ohmygah, we're really stretching for something to talk about. Hurry up, Wednesday!

I've heard Jessica say she wants to adopt a child, but I haven't heard her say why. I've known about 10 adopted kids, and all but one was a complete mess. Besides, I thought Jessica wanted to get a dog first. Anybody seen a dog?

Speaking of dogs, I'm reaching back a few episodes, but I didn't see this mentioned here... Remember when Nick and Jessie were dining out and Nick said he hated Maggie, then claimed he was just kidding? I don't know what came over him, but I think that was a truthful statement. Too bad he wussed out and claimed to be joking. Can't wait until he works up the nerve to tell her what he thinks of her parents.

My guess is to preserve the body. I'll also guess that she will put a Christian face on that - wanting to save some child from its awful non-Jessica existence.

Maybe she can get a LV carrier for the baby, too? And it will be all cute and wear designer diapers and bibs and smile and coo for the cameras and it will never have colic or poo or cry all night cause Jess' whole life is cute and perky and precious.................................

She can't cook, clean, figure out a movie time or pick up her own clothes off the floor......where exactly does parenting fall into her schedule (or skill set)?

Or maybe that's what her "personal assistant" is for. In Season Four, KayCee will serve as Jessica's surrogate mother and bear a child for her. She will be implanted with Nick's seed in a ceremony presided over by Pa Simpson.

I can't decide whether that's the funniest thing I've read in this thread or the most horrifying.

I read about her wanting to adopt kids, and ITA with binkbink-- it's all about keeping her "made for sin" (TM Jessica) body intact. And, obviously, because having a baby now is so chic. [eye roll] I'm sure she's read about the mothering boom in Hollywood and wants to hop onboard the trend. Because children are an accessory, after all.

What annoys me the most is that I'm sure she'll compare herself to other celebrities who adopt because they really do want to save children or can't have their own. Jessica can lump herself in with all the good-hearted A-Listers and feel even more Christian than usual.

ETA: I don't know if I'm the minority, but I always find it supremely selfish and offensive when women who are able to have children opt to adopt instead. I know their logic might be, "Never leave a child behind", but to me, they're taking children that many infertile couples would die for-- couples that may have no other option. I'd sure like to see Jessica explaining to adopting couple she beat out for a child: "Well, of course I can have my own, but I like this one better."

Just a guess, but I'd bet there were far more children waiting to be adopted than infertile couples who have exhausted all means of trying to have their own kids. There's plenty to go around for everybody.

That said, Jessucka would still make a horrible mother. She probably wouldn't even be able to teach it to tie its shoes.

But Albanyguy, that Handmaid's Tale scenario you presented is the squickiest thing ever. Oh for a gallon of BrainBleach.

When a celebrity adopts an older child who might have some emotional problems who is DESPERATE for a home and not a cute wittle newborn baby, THEN I'll applaud them. Because God know the system is filled with those kinds of kids. Of course, that might be too much work for the nanny. (Sorry, work-related rant. I'll stop.)

Jessica seems like she'd be a walking disaster as a parent, but Nick seems like he might actually instill some decency, kindness and a work ethicin his child. Let's hope the kids don't spend every holiday with the Simpson clan, though. That's just asking for trouble.

What's really scary is that snarking aside, this is probably true.

What would scare me if they had a kid was what would the kid learn while growing up? The was Jessuckass mixes and confusing everything, would the kid even know the abc's?! It sure wouldn't know how to clean or cook with thier mom and aunt. And I doubt she would try to stay home as much as she could to be with the baby. OH WAIT! It could be a family show! Everyone else goes along with her to do things, so they can take care of the baby. You guys! Why don't you want them to have a baby?! A new Simpson star! [/sarcasm]

If Jessica adopts a child it will have to be small enough for her to be able to carry it around in this Louis Vuitton dog carrier.

After she started talking adoption, I thought for a minute either she or Nick might have discovered they are infertile. But I guess if that was the case we'd have heard about it on Newlyweds: A Very Special Episode.

I agree with the intention of you comment. But unfornately, there are plenty of orphans and kids up for adoption to go around. The waiting list for adopting kids has more to with ensuring the kids safeties and beurocratic red tape than the availability of children.




I couldnt agree more.

But 5-year-old kids sadly dont fit in LV dog carriers.

If Jessica wanted to adopt to give a child without a family a chance or had some sincere beliefs about adoption and foster care seperate from her own desire to have a child, I wouldn't necessarily be annoyed or upset. Such as in Rosie O'Donnell's case or Angelina Jolie's case. Yippee for them.
No, what I find truly offensive and repulsive about Jessica is that she talks about having a kid like acquiring a new possession. (Ditto with the marriage by the way.) Like she has a list somewhere... BMW, check. LV bag, check. Husband, check. Cute sunglasses with diamonds, check. Dog or kid or something...

That's even less believable than when Trump said all his "Apprentice" candidates had an average I.Q. of 200! Compared to Jessica, they are all genuises.

And I'm not sure whether to believe this one or not: Jess actually grew up in Texas and doesn't know who Robert E. Lee was? I'm pretty sure they don't let you out of high school there until you can answer that one. (And yes, I know that Texas wasn't part of the confederacy, but I've lived there and believe me, you wouldn't be able to convince a large majority of the population that.) So I can't decide if she is really that stupid or making it up. Either way it is pretty pathetic.

If you mean a 160 I.Q. after taking one of those monthly test in Cosmo, then, yeah, I believe it.

Texas was in the Confederacy. It one of the first states to secede. I think the final win of the war for the South happened in Texas. It was one of those "oops, we didn't know it was over" battles that happened before cell phones.

There's just not enough WORD in the world.

I have no doubt that the cute little white newborns can find homes, while the older kids are less than desirable. It's understandable that people fear serious behavioral problems from emotionally damaged kids, and would rather have a kid new out of the 'box', but my heart breaks for the older kids who need adopting, when I see them once a week on the news. If I was married, I'd have me a couple of those poor throwaway kids. God bless 'em.

Somehow, I suspect Jessica isn't thinking of adopting anything other than an infant.

Wordy McWord.



quickychick, I had to read that book for my British Contemporary Fiction class. Mighty f 'ed up, but good! I totally thought of that book too.

As for the "What constitutes sex?" debate, I'm sorry but, oral sex is not "sex." Yeah I know the second word is sex, but still, come on. That is not even the same thing. No one I know has ever said that they lost their virginity by having oral sex with their partner. Is it cheating if your partner has oral sex with someone else? Of course! It's also cheating if your partner is kissing and making out with someone else, and that's not sex either. Cheating does not mean you had intercourse, it means you did something sexual in some way with another person. I would apply this to Jessica and any other virginer til marriage.

Geez, anyone who's ever been a fan of 2gether knows who Robert E. Lee is. Duh.

ambystone that was awesome.

Sex is as sex does - and I don't think any of my lesbian friends consider themselves virgins because they haven't seen a penis!

On topic - I'd been considering eye surgery, but now I'm pretty sure I'd just pass out on the table in the middle. Way too much detail of that scraping. Now if they'd only improve all of Jessica's other flaws as easily...

Bwah!!



Wordy McWord with Cheese!

I'm absolutely convinced Nicole Kidman adopted two kids because she didn't want to mess up her perfect little body or take the time off.

I can totally see Jessica accidently killing a kid because she hasn't a clue. They don't have time in their lives to properly look after a dog, they shouldn't be talking about babies. Just show her a film of a live birth, she won't want Nick to even touch her.

Sort of peripherally related, but a record exec complains technology makes it too easy to sing badly.

I am too, but honestly, as long as the kids are loved and well-cared for in a "stable" home, I don't particularly care about the reason they were adopted nor the fertility status of the adoptive parents.

Yes, Simp would do it because it looks good and that does suck eggs, but mostly because the child would be rather neglected by her. I suspect Nick would be a pretty good father. But she'd probably obliterate any progress he'd make with the child, and then add her own special brand of brain damage.

Na, Tiny Tom is infertile. It's almost Hollywood fact at this point.

I think Nick would be a great Dad, but Jessica would probably lose interest in mothering really quickly. Like shopping for baby clothes or doing it's hair would be 'fun' for her, cause that's like playing dress up with a doll! But changing diapers, feedings, burping. Ewww. She'd either have Nick do everything or just get a Nanny to do it. I swear, with her penchant for hiring other people to do even the most basic tasks, I could see her hiring a wet nurse!

The thought of her as a mother is frightening, no matter how it were to come about. Natural birth? She'd be 'too posh to push'.

The child would grow up thinking that you have to contort your face in order to sing.



How do they know that they are lesbians if they haven't seen a penis???? At the risk of being totally politically incorrect, they should try it, they might like it!
; )

<slaps self before someone else does>

When she and Tom divorced, SNL: Weekend Update joked about returning their kids to central casting. Hee.

I am so on-topic because Jessica pushing for children, adopted or not, sounds more like casting and playing roles, than building a family. For her, they're cute accessories, as someone mentioned upthread. I haven't seen a lot of (read: any) evidence that she's a nurturing soul. I just can't imagine that the mothering instinct is all that strong with her. Some people aren't cut out for motherhood and Jessica may get there, but she's got a lot of growing up to do first.

Nick, on the other hand, would be a good dad. I'm sure of it.

Infertile? I thought he was gay.

*Jumps off the free Nick bandwagon*

Tonight he gave her that goddamn mop dog for her birthday and sang to her on stage. He also has plans to renew their vows in Hawaii after the show raps up for good.

I guess Nick blames the show for their shitty marriage and figures if they start fresh it will be good. He is Wee.Todd.Did.

WHAT?! No, say it ain't so. Was there a special episode or something?

No it was a report of her concert from Dallas, and the renewing vows thing was in Vanity Fair.

He got her a yappy arm accessory? Truly, bed made, lie. Or she uses black magic to cloud his senses. They were dating for 4 years, so he met her when she was still a teenager, he had to know how flakey and stupid she is, and he still married her. I think there is something to the theory that he wanted a viginal child-woman who would always look up to him.

Nicole had a miscarraige after he served her with the divorce papers, so unless she had something on the side all equipment was in working order and being used.

Sorry about my revisionist Texas history earlier. Whoever corrected me was right, of course. Texas did seceed from the union and join the Confederacy. I had forgotten that. What I was remembering was that Governor Houston opposed the secession and attempted to stop it. I guess I was thinking he was successful, but, of course, he was not.

What can I say, I didn't grow up in Texas and never took Texas history. So you have to cut me some slack:-)

It's okay, RhondaGC. At least you know that Texas is one of the seven consonants.

So, the same Vanity Fair that reported her IQ as 160? I don't read Vanity Fair, and they don't sell it at the newsstand near where I work-did they interview both Nick and Jessica, or just Jessica? Because if it didn't come from Nick's own mouth, I'm taking it with a basketball-sized grain of salt. In fact, I'm thinking it might be the first Nick's heard of such plans, if he's not the one who actually uttered them.

As to their marriage, it doesn't seem like it's really the cameras' fault. That's a straw man. They got married and didn't live together for several months due to their schedules. Then, as soon as they started living together, and for the following year (at least,) they created an entirely artificial dynamic revolving around letting total strangers into your business and broadcasting it on tv. Not to mention the stress caused by the elderSimps hanging on to them like the cobweb you can't ever quite get scraped off if you're unlucky enough to bump into one. If they had lived on their own for even six months to a year without the cameras, I would say they might have a chance. But I think they're doomed no matter what, regardless of how much they may love each other. I suspect the show was almost totally Jessica's doing at first, the money was too good to turn down later, and concerns about the consequences were pushed to the side by both of them. With PaSimp being her manager, there was probably added pressure, since it's however much money she brings in that supports them.

Bottom line is, neither of these two have the skills necessary to extract a successful healthy marriage from this totally fucked-up situation, but Nick is hundreds of miles ahead of Jessica on that road (and would likely have a very good chance with someone else.) They have to bear the largest portion of that responsibility, since I don't think someone held a gun to their heads and made them sign the contracts (well, PaSimp might, I dunno.) They may indeed love each other very much, and each may fulfill some need in the other, but the misery is writ large on Nick's face, and it's not going to get better after the show is over. The elderSimps will still be there like a bad rash, Jessica will miss the attention the cameras gave her, and they skipped over that beginning part of the marriage where you work out how *the two of you* will live together. Doomed, I say, article or no article, renewing vows or not.

If I might make a TAR analogy, it's like starting a difficult leg with lots of energy and a good plan. But if you make a critical mistake, like taking a wrong turn to get to the airport, you wind up in last. And sometimes, no matter how hard you work or how upbeat you stay, you still get Philiminated. Nick and Jessica's critical mistake was signing on for the first season of Newlyweds. It's not the cameras' fault, it's theirs for letting them in in the first place. And the damage their decision, their wrong turn, caused is something I don't think they'll be able to overcome.

VermiciousKnid, it's all speculation but the rumor was that Cruise served Nicole with the divorce papers because he thought the baby wasn't his. My reasoning is that unless they weren't being intimate during the months leading up to the pregnancy, the only way he could be sure is if he is infertile. Which might have been the reason why he served her with the divorce papers. Neither of them spoke much about their divorce. Nicole always claimed that the whole thing came as a shock. Cruise on the other hand, was quoted as saying Nicole new exactly why their marriage had ended. Personally, I think Tom Cruise is a weirdo. So, there's no telling what went on in that relationship.

Back on topic..........I was never on the NickLoveTrain. Sure, he looks wonderfull compared to the simpsons but that isn't saying much. I can't help but judge him a little bit based on the company he keeps. He was not a child when he got married. He was a grown ass man. He might have some good qualities but I think his taste in women leaves a lot to be desired. It says something about him that out of all the elligible women he chose Jessica Simpson to marry. Maybe he likes twits. He can always feel superior to somebody like Jessica. Whereas, if he had actually married an intellectual and emotional equal, he would have a completely different dynamic. I think Nick could have been happy with Jessica. He just didn't count on CaCee, MTV cameras, and PaSimpson invading every aspect of their lives.

I shudder to think of Jessica as a mother. If she had or adopted a daughter, PaSimpson would have a new virgin to creepily obsess over.

edited to ask if anybody has found out CaCee's real name? It can't really be CaCee can it?

I do agree. And my previous comment wasn't directed at all celebrities (or all women)-- Angelina Jolie is worlds apart from Jessica Simpson. It's just the mentality of having a full plate but deciding to eat off someone else's that makes me frustrated. No matter how much food there is, it still rubs me as rude. And Jessica, like posters have said, probably isn't trying to take the "leftovers" (non-white, older, possibly abused children). She wants the filet mignon-- a blond-haired, blue-eyed Caucasian baby that never cries & matches the rest of her purses and clothing.

[slightly OT] This discussion also brings to mind that Godawful "Rich Girls" conversation; where Ally and Jamie are discussing adopting children from various in-the-media third world countries just so they can throw multicultural parties. It boggles the mind. [/slightly OT]

My only comfort is that I don't think Nick would let her do it. He strikes me as someone who wants to raise his own flesh-and-blood if at all possible.