No words...Just, no words.

The thing is, I'll be Donald Rumsfeld had no idea who Jessica Simpson was until some staffer tried to explain it to him. That's the image I find hilarious. ("Sir, she's a blond 23-year-old who's gotten famous by letting TV cameras document her first year of marriage. She had big breasts that she likes to expose, and she 'sings.' She also a dim bulb.") I mean, how many elderly men, especially elderly men in charge of a war, do you know who keep up with MTV reality show performers?

Jessica Simpson needs to stop singing like yesterday. If you can't do a cover better than the original artist then leave the song the fuck alone.

Didn't Jessica also go on Larry King Live and say that they were in negotiations for her to star in "I dream of Jeanie"? I believe that the movie people then came out and said that they weren't exactly in negotiations yet! LOL! Some people were saying that someone else ended up getting the part! I think it would be a hoot if that were true. These people will never learn will they?! The only movie in which Jessica has been confirmed as an actress, is a movie called "Walk On." Check out the IMDB site for more info. Also, the Daisy Duke remake is still up in the air I believe. I'm no fan of Britney, but I actually hope she gets the part. That way Jessica will shut up!
Want to hear Jessica be even more delusional? During the "Making the Video" for TMBA, Jessica tells the cameramen that the reason she is so "endearing" to people is because girls can now watch her and learn that "you can trip and fall, fart, burp, say really ditzy things AND STILL BE CUTE!" Wonder who told her that?! This girl and her entire family needs help!

Excuse me? "Enduring"??????? She has been famous since Newlyweds. Thats it. Before, she was a Britney/Christina afterthought. I cannot believe her and her family. They are absolutely delusional when it comes to accepting that Jessica is not the biggest star in the world and she is not appealing to EVERYONE. I wonder if they thought Rummy and Ahnold would find the thought of appearing with Jessica "adorable" and "endearing", even if they weren't technically friends. Because, you know, everyone just loves Jessica.That family really has no clue.

IIRC, Jessica went around saying how much she would like the role of Jeannie if a remake of "I dream of Jeannie" was ever made. Although its not quite on the same level as Joe claiming to be friends with high ranking politicos (we'll be laughing about that for years, I still can't believe his ass-osity), she was still probably more vocal about it then she should have been. I wasn't aware that the role had already been cast. If not, I hope it will be soon. Jessica needs to disappear, fast!

ITA. I will not let her ruin Robbie for me!

(Although I actually would like to see her clean his toilet)

I believe she said enduring, and meant of course to say endearing. Not that it really matters, since she is NEITHER!!! These two have got to be a sign that the end of the world is indeed near.

Ok, it's official. I have a problem. I can't deny it any longer:

Last night I had a dream that I was going to the movies with Jessica - and she wasn't ready yet, so I was hanging out with Nick and we were talking.

Nothing really happened in the dream - and I woke up before we went to the movies. I just think it's kind of pathetic that I watch this show so much I'm now DREAMING about it.

My name is tiredmom and I have a problem.

I'm telling ya, if I didn't think it would upset my friend who owns the club they hang at when in town - I'd smack the girl upside the head for that the next time they come to Cincinnati!

I can't watch the show. I saw 2 episodes and thought my head was going to implode.

I was in the grocery store today and as I walked by the magazine racks I thought to myself, "Gee, I didn't think Cosmo put drag queens on their covers." Then I realized it was Jessica. Somebody needs to send a memo to all lucky enough to photograph her: the witch needs soft lighting around that rugged jawline. Her extensions looked nice, though.

I had a similar reaction. That man-face of hers is in full effect.

Yeah, you can always tell, if Jessica isn't photographed at just the right angle that hideous lantern jaw is right there. Horrible.

ColdGreg,



I thought this was a snarky joke. I saw it with my own eyes last night...I was speechless.

She should continue to take advantage of acting stupid as long as she can. I also notice her blouses are more and more lower cut.The talking dark-haired girl is her sister by the way.

That commercial really bothered me, and for so many reasons.

First, because Jessica's hair always looks so bad in commercials, and when she is "done up" for publicity shit. Somehow, they manage to make it look kind of flat, or false, which is weird. Her own hair is very nice...why do we need to see artifical extensions?

Second, because I knew the brunette looked familiar, but even after rewinding a few times to try to figure out why, I never came up with Ashlee. If the point of the commercial is to appeal to people who watch "Newlyweds" and understand why the buffalo wings comment was so, ahem, "Funny", then why stick her in a commercial with unrecognizable people? I was like, "Why is Jessica delivering pizza to these people outdoors? Who are they supposed to be? I just don't get it." Not that it makes more sense that it's her sister.

Third, her bad, bad acting. And knowing that it probably took 72 takes just to get the shot of her jaw dropping right. And the flapping thing? Some of the worst blue screen crap, ever.

If anyone has seen the Outkast video for "Roses", at the very beginning of the video, they are on a page in the yearbook and Nick's mug is on there. You have to look really quick to see it. Amusing. Irulan from the Real World Las Vegas's picture is also in the yearbook.

I just saw Jessica's pizza commercial. That terrible CGI buffalo making chicken noises is the lamest thing I've seen in a while. Besides Jessica flapping her arms like chicken wings, which she manages to screw up. She looked more like she was trying to scratch at her armpits like a monkey.

Word about the absolutely atrocious commercial. Jessica was a complete ass (and not in a good way), the blue screen work was some of the worst I have ever seen and if Pizza Hut paid extra to have Ashlee included they wasted their money, because I doubt anyone recognized her as a brunette. Awful, awful, awful the whole way around.

ETA:
Hey! I saw Nick in "Roses" too! The first time I noticed I thought I just looked at it wrong, because its such a short clip, but the second time I was like "Oh yeah, that is him!". It was kind of fun.

has all this publicity helped their music careers?
here in australia jessica's single is in the top 10...great stuff

Jessucka is to Pizza Hut as Omarosa is to Clairol. Perhaps an email campaign is in order....

Ok, maybe not, but her commercial is one of the few that has me scrambling for the remote to get her OFF. MAH. TV.

Jessica and Nick are.. one of People's "50 most beautiful in the world". Brad Pitt & Jennifer Aniston are in there but they got seperate pieces.. Nic & Jessica were lump together as one. LOL!

IIRC, Bob Dole was drooling over Britney in a Pepsi commercial a few years back so Rummy may indeed know who Jessica is. Don't all these old geezers keep up with the latest poptartlet? Ew. O/T-What grown man refers to himself as Rummy?

A New York Times article about Jessica's line of "edible cosmetics". (You may need to register, but it's free, and, being the Times, in the long run, it's worth it.) It points out that the whole theme behind them is vaguely pornographic, which is rather strange considering the 10-14 age group that makes up the main demographic she appeals to.

In the latest issue of Blender there is a letter to the editor about Jessica:

"Thanks for your cover article on Jessica Simpson. More young woman should follow Jessica's example and wait until marriage to become a dumb wet slut."

I got a good snicker out of that.

Whoever wrote that letter to the editor is my new hero.

I saw this written over at the Jane magazine Board. It has a point!

It's hard to believe Jessica ever had bad skin, because I think it's her best feature now. Of course, for Jessica, having one zit would be enough to send her wailing to the doctors for help (especially since she's a celebrity, and it's so much more sad when celebrities have acne). I'm sure her parents tried to assure her she was still cute, but a medical professional would still need to be consulted, STAT!

At least she's aware that her IQ is PU. Omarockhead still doesn't get it.

Besides which, I think Clairol would get a huge boost if Jessicka became the official speaker.

Aw, look. Jessucka has turned Nick into her personal hat folder-downer-in-a-fetching-way-er. How cyoooot.

What the hell? Did a giant pink manta ray attack her head or is that a hat?

Nick looks drunk. Has it come to that already? Though, to be fair if I were Nick I'd have been drunk long ago or Jessucka would be dead, you know whatever.

If I were Nick, I would have been throwing back mint juleps as fast as the bartender could make them.

She makes a very poor Scarlet, and I don't think he wants to be Rhett. Shades of Pammy.

There's blind item floating around that in highschool Jessica's dad was so obsessive about her he would come to school so he could eat lunch with her in the cafeteria. Have mercy.

After reading this I feel like singing One of These Things is Not Like the Other.

It looks like Jessica will NOT be playing Jeannie

at least according to this

Thank the lord. I was terrified she'd get the role and she and her repulsive father would get even more out of control. ("The Dali Lama and Queen Elizabeth, both friends of the Simpsons, will also be appearing in the film"...I could just see that.)

Here's something that should make every woman feel better: plastic surgery

She's 23 & already had to have those puppies lifted. What's going to happen when she'd in her almost mid-twenties?

Why, she'll have been given a bed in the Home for Shriveled Up Not Even Middle Age Annoying Starlets. And a couple of bedside tables to lay her foobs upon when she needs lap room for her buffalo wings tuna surprise dinner.

Wow, she looks all kinds of used up in that picture, luckyduck.

Here's a review of her pilot:

Jessica Simpson pilot: A study in vegetative intelligence

Big fat brain fart. Moving right along...

That is the ugliest picture I have ever seen of Jessica, no joke. Was she not wearing makeup? Seriously, shes got a great body, nice hair but her face? Is mannish, no way around it.

Yikes, does she look like a drag queen there or what? Even her shoulders/upper chest look very masculine and muscular. Like a Ken doll with Barbie's hair...

From that article:Leave it to ABC to try something like that. On the plus side, no shots of her chops.

Sometimes she looks a lot like Nicole Brown Simpson. She had those same square features that Jessica has.

Has anyone heard anything about whether or not her shitty new pilot will ever see airtime? Does anyone else cringe when "Take My Breath Away (The Half-Assed Cover)" plays on the radio? Is anyone really sick of seeing her plastered on every magazine in the last month? This girl has never obviously never heard the word "over-ma-kill."

Nope. I think she should get it while she can. No one was checking for her before.

I do, and I quickly change the station. Not fast enough though!

I'm sick of seeing Jessica all over magazines too. I agree that she looked like a total man on May's Cosmo cover.

I can't stand her version of TMBA. She ruins the song. The radio station I listen to is adult contemporary, so they usually don't play Jessica/Britney, etc. But the other day I heard the beginning of TMBA but could not hear the vocalist well--I said to myself, please don't let that be Jessica's slaughtered version of the song. And I was so happy to hear it was the original, and boy, isn't it a lot better than Jessica's version. Why they ever let her tamper with it, I don't know.

I agree with both of you. While I cringe when I hear her songs, I would probably get all the $$$ I could too. Her and Nick will go the way of Ricky Martin. He was too famous too fast and just faded away...