What AI moments were complete disasters?


I nominate:

Randy and Simon's staged "fight" during the first season

Simon picking Carmen as a wildcard after she gave an embarrassing performance

Craggle blowing off practice in "Hollywood" and looking like a complete tool

Alan molesting himself while he sang "On Broadway"

Alan's explanation of why he should be the American Idol

Michael Keown trying to convince Simon that he should stay

Simon and Ryan making lame, unfunny gay jokes about each other

Craggle's mesh shirt wearing performance of 'Drift Away'. Worst thing ever.

Any of the stupid [product placement] commercials featuring Carmen or KimberME.

Carmen's "And So It Goes"

Josh and his "military restraints."

Kira's snotfest ("Then you must be gay!")

Kiira's snotfest (*sob* "White trash!" *sob*)

Josh's Black Family.

Also the blonde in season two, jumping up and down because she was asked to step forward and she thought that meant she made it, but then she was sent home. And this time around, the chick in pink, jumping up to celebrate prematurely as Randy told her she was going home.

Come on you guys...What About the Children? That was like watching a bullet train crash into a freight train crash into the Soul Train. WRECK.



Especially the one where Kim C. was out in the desert on her motorcycle trying to lure Josh into her mantrap. Eugh. Oh, and remember the one where Carmen's "daddy" takes her car away, and then suddenly he's swarmed by hookers? What the hell was that, may I ask? Wreck!

Edited because I was too busy mourning the fact that I now associate a perfectly good Beach Boys song with Uncle Nigel boning a hooker in the Pony Princessmobile to spell

...and no one has yet mentioned the Reuben/Carmen duo of "Get Out of My Dreams" and the nightmares that ensued of three Carmens at once.

But as far as this season goes, another wreck I would like to add is dumbass Paula allowing her crazy fan to hug her. What was she thinking? Oh yeah....nothing.

I think Simon's pointy brown boots are a trainwreck.

From season two, allowing Kristin Holt to come back...and talk. Why? Oh God, why?

Hee! I forgot all about that one.

Craggle's spinning during "Against All Odds"
KimberMe's raccoon eyes the night Julia was eliminated.
Shreddy McFrimFram's entire wardrobe
RJ Helton falling through the original Octagon of Judgement

THE RANDY/SIMON/PAULA PORNMERCIAL

I still have nightmares about Carmen's "Turn the Beat Around". "Turn it up, turn it up, turn it up sidedo-o-o-o-own!"

[Maya Rudolph as Donatella Versace] Where did you sleep last night?...[/Maya]

Mr. Magilla and I still crack each other up with that train wreck.

Don't kill me, but actually I think Craggle invoked that viewer-hypnotic spin-move during "This Ol' Heart Of Mine". He merely screeched and caterwauled his way through "Against All Odds". Both are notably wreck-worthy, though.

Carmen singing "Call Me" was one of the worst performances I've ever seen in my entire life, and I'm not kidding, either. "And So It Goats" was also cringingly wreck-worthy. The melancholy music the depressing voice...I was almost ready to reach for a bottle of pills by the end.

Josh eats the camera. Close up on his gaping maw!

1) Carmen's fake orgasm during that pornmercial last season.

2) Ryan Starr's rendition of "You Really Got Me" during Season One.

3) Seacrest's "Manhole" comment, and the mental images it conjured up.

4) Josh's "Celebration" and "Bad Blood". It's a real tough call as to which one was worse.

5) Ditto to the post about Josh eating the camera. And the picture of that particular event that someone posted in one of these threads was utterly hilarious.

Just about every outfit Paula has ever worn on the show. And the hats.. *shudder*

Here are some more of my favorites:

- COREY! COREY! COREY! (as well as the other great Craggle moments already mentioned... take a look at me nooooooow!)

- RJ Helton forgetting the lyric "I won't dance" in his performance of "I Won't Dance"

- Jamar's "Careless Shouts" in season 1

- Anakin Boogie (actually, that was a triumph)

- Ruben/Clay pimpmercial

- Lady Tiger's "I beg to diffah!" breakdown, 8 Mile-style

- most of the Season 2 Hollywood episode: Craggle and Alden party, Patrick "rocker" Lake, Marcus the suck-up, Stephan's "Kiss from a Rose" performance, Julia/KimberMe fight... really, they couldn't have written it any better than that.

Season One Trainwrecks:

Stefanie "Crazy Cheese Lady" Sugarman in the Los Angeles auditions. And I thought that she didn't do too badly.

The legend that is Tamika "It's Ta-MEE-Kah" Bush.

Ryan Starr disintegrating on the third week of finals with "You Really Got Me". And I actually thought that she did a good job.

That woman who sang "Lady Marmalade" in Dallas and to whom Simon told to get a lawyer so that she could sue her vocal teacher.

Season Two Trainwrecks:

Carmen Rasmusen. Enough said.

Edgar Nova. Enough said.

Keith Beukelaer. Enough said.

Monica Songok warbling through "It's All Coming Back To Me Now".

Terra Dadonna, proving to the world that Idol worship can only take you so far.

The debacle of the Detroit auditions.

And the biggest individual trainwreck in Idol history: Juanita Barber's two most memorable performances:

1) When she crashed to the ground after narrowly missing the top 32.
2) When the bitch replaced Frenchie Davis only to sing a macabre version of "What About The Children" and to get into a sparring match with the Axis of Evil.

Season Three So Far:

The biggest trainwreck en masse in Idol history: the Houston auditions, the ones that gave us divine wrath, a boatload of bitchy African-American flaming gay guys, and the single worst audition in the history of the world: Benita Fook-Ling Lee "singing" "I Can't Stand The Rain".

By the way, I've updated my website. Check my profile for the link.

flat, screechy, cats being strangled, whales being thrown off their migration routes: "Always Something There To Remind Meeeeeee!" - Nikki (Anytime Nikki opened her mouth it was a trainwreck)

Carmen's voice, green shower curtain dress, whoregun make-up...the girl is a walking travesty.

KimLo's Heatwave and her Burger Queen outfit

Clay's Grease hip-shake

Ruben's voice at the end of the season (flat, wheezing, gasping, very poor technique)

AlexDS69 - I think you are me; heh. This? Was freakin' hilarious; I'd give anything for some more Juanita magic. Truly the "best" trainwreck ever!

The person who held up the "Bush/Gracin" sign in the audience during Season 2. I wanted to poke my eyes out.

The "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" twins from this season that, as someone pointed out, managed to sound like three off-key people. I say it sounded like a murder of crows slowly being squashed by a steamroller.

Hee, the "Bulgarian subwoofer." The look on her face really sealed her fate as an entry in this thread.

I'm gonna say "Celebration." (pointing) "The celebration's over here! No, it's up there! In the rafters!"

I think we can safely say that all of last night's semifinals would fall under this category.

Noel's performance was definitely a trainwreck. Then Jesus just brought the whole thing to a flaming catastrophe. There were very few survivors.

Ryan's only 1,300, 13,000, 130,000 votes separate the final two in Season 2.

Also, would "your American Idol is Ruuuuu-ben Studdard" count as a trainwreck.

Group two was definitley a trainwreck, almost as bad as last year's group four or the first season's group three.

Carmen's telling Ryan "I still think I can win this competition" after Simon ripped her a new one.

Fantasia's "I hadn't went yet" reply to Ryan's question.

Anytime Kelly came back to sing on Season 2.

Anytime Justin came back to sing on Season 2.

American Juniors. 'nuf said.

Clay's overproduced version of "Bridge Over Troubled Water" with the lip-syncing choir.

AI3's group 2, from Matt's opening performance to the announcement of the results, was a disaster of Verrarosian proportions.

Ryan: Noel, who do you think had more votes out of the two of you?
Jesus Roman: Him.
Noel Roman: Me.
Ryan: You think you? Humbly stated. Jesus got 70,000 more votes.
Noel: Oh word?!
Ryan: Just something to talk about at the house.


Crash!

~ The girls' desert medley during the Vegas Reunion
~ Natalie Burge's "dancing" during the Vegas Reunion
~ Kristin Holt's half-ponytail during the Vegas Reunion
~ The season 1 Vegas Reunion in general

(Yes, I have the Vegas special on tape. And yes, I do watch it. I have no life.)

~ Nikki's rendition of "Always Something There to Remind Me"
~ Nikki's son crying at the end of Burt Bacharach night (Fox just had to show that)

RoseBowl making it through. Does that count?

ANYthing involving Group 2...Even Lisa. That shirt? No, honey. No. Girlfriend needs to buy a new wardrobe.

Fantasia's weird lisp thing. She doesn't have a lisp when she talks, does she? It's only when she sings? That's just strange.

"Dance!"

All-Time Biggest AI Trainwreck: Ruben "wins" AI2 by {insert random number of votes that changed frequently, and I'm not totally convinced that it was merely because Toolchest can't read}. (No, I'm not bitter, just disillusioned at the success of TPTB's blatant pimping. Thankfully, the record-buying public made their choice of American Idol very clear.)

Runner-Up: Josh absolutely slaughters "Bad Blood" on Neil Sedaka week, AI2. (A trainwreck in every sense of the word--it was bloody awful, but you just couldn't stop staring.)

Just misses the top tier: AI3 Round of 32, Group 2, a.k.a. The Gang That Couldn't Sing Straight.

-Ryan Starr's rendition of "You Really Got Me"
-Anything Carmen or Justin
-Jennifer Hudson's "Imagine"
-The Mariah Carey worshipper
-The operatic rendition of "Lady Marmalade"
-Anything Dunkleman
-Edgar's initial audition and then lying to get into more
-"That's what happens when you're breastfed by your father!"

AAAAAAH. MY BRAIN.

When Ryan pretended that he couldn't read the card. And two minutes afterwards, when Simon stopped the show so he could get his rage on against the producers. A weird moment.

Woah...I missed that! Who was saying what again?

Yep. The moron gave it away when he said there was a "C". Then he attempted to cover it up by saying random letters, such as "X".

My favorite trainwrecks that haven't already been listed:

Simon "watching the tape back" after being heavily medicated and subsequently choosing Carmen for his wild card.
Cowell's nonsensical minutes-long rant about how Clay is better suited to Broadway, completely with staged Diane Warren giving him a shirt saying "I don't do nice."
Diane Warren in general. Shift-F1.
Pretty much all the guest judges in Season 2, when they had to tiptoe around and say something nice to the worse contestants.
Josh's country song, with the throwing of the cowboy hat and "Pick-up truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck."
The "Do You Believe in Magic" pimpmercial which was filmed 20 miles away from the contestants and didn't really pimp anything in particular.
Guarini's "What do you guys think?"
Guarini's "P.Y.T."
Guarini's "A Moment Like This" and "Before Your Love". 80 kinds of wrong.
Guarini's Thigh Song.
Guarini's UM. (I sense a trend.)
Ruben's "Ain't Too Proud to Beg" and everything he performed on final three night. Hoarse, rough voice and couldn't reach many notes. Not like the judges noticed.
Tamyra's ousting was quite the trainwreck, but i'm not sure it was quite as bad as AI2's "Oh My God Ruben's in the bottom two! How dare you voters allow that to happen?", and invoking the name of Tamyra as if she was equavilent to the Alamo while completely ignoring Trenyce, who was really screwed that night.
Ryan Farrar, "Bohemian Rhapsody" dude from AI1, who came back as "Straight Up" dude in AI3.
Gtoe Washingtons II and III.

That's great. Because you just know they did talk about it at the house. You also know it was the kind of talking you "take outside." Preferably into an alley.

That reminds me of another one: the Paula worshipper.

I thought trainwrecks couldn't get any worse than the one that was Carmen Rasmusen. Then Lisa was robbed of her place in the top twelve. Again.

[QUOTE] Don't kill me, but actually I think Craggle invoked that viewer-hypnotic spin-move during "This Ol' Heart Of Mine". He merely screeched and caterwauled his way through "Against All Odds". Both are notably wreck-worthy, though. /[QUOTE]



Can I just say? While "Against All Odds" has left me permanently hearing impared (from jabbing my own fingers against my earbrums in a vain attempt to tune him out), I thought his spinny moment in "This Ol Heart of Mine" was rather awesome. Struck me as unscripted (though it probably wasn't) and free, kinda. Ya know?

But as far as trainwrecks go, how about those hysterical choppy close-ups that leapt in towards the contestants faces each time Ryan read another judge's comments? And the camera got so close to John Stevens IV that it ultimately focued on his right eye and hairline??

And yo, excuse the QUOTE faus pas, but after 20 minutes of trying to figure this thing out, I can't make the quote come out in blue. Oh well.

Leah.

I was going to say "Season Three As a Whole", but Leah works.

Kelly's "Think Twice"
Tamyra's "New Attitude"
RJ's ski-dancing
any comeback that Josh Gracin ever tried to say to Simon
AI3 group 2 & Leah in general (yeah, I have to agree with that one!)

PS ManBoobs, the / has to be inside the brackets on the end quote: [/quote]

Justin.

Jasmine Trias, her plastic personality, and her fugly flowers. Leah goes without saying -- she robbed either Lisa or Suzy Vulaca of a deserved spot.

John Stevens's "Crocodile Rock." It was too fast, too quiet, underenunciated, and then he broke at the falsetto "lalalalala" section.

Boy, what WERE you thinking? Did he wanna go home that badly that he would choose the worst possible Elton John song?

And on that note, Amy Adams's rejection and John's subsequent tearfest had a distinct odor of trainwreck.

That's a very real suspicion on my part. Notice how he was having fun for once? Like he didn't even care anymore?

I'll post further thoughts on that elsewhere. For now, let me say that this was as wonderful and enjoyable a trainwreck as I've seen. He Hunged the bejeezus out of that mother. And dammit...good for him. I actually preferred it to many of the technically "good" performances, just on a different level.

Trainwreck of the season to date. No doubt in my mind.

I second "Croc Rock" but would add "My Girl" to that. Those two have to be the worst performances I have ever heard in any of the finals of American Idol. Hell, Nikki, Jim, AJ, Corey and Carmen could sing in tune occasionally. One monitone note does not make you a good singer.

statichaos, I am going to be quoting that a lot if you don't mind. That.Is.Awesome!

Here's a few that haven't been mentioned yet:

The Josh/Simon pushup contest
The Simon/Paula kiss skit
Carmen's "And So It Goes" complete with black t-shirt worn under formal prom dress.
The Finale dressing room for last year's runner-up.
"Celebrate" really bad singing.

Every single performance Camile has given on the show qualifies as trainwreck material.