I would like to say that epithet "the Donald" may seem ostentatious and pretentious, but it certainly beats "the Trump" which everyone knows means "fart." Although...

I remember when Spy magazine used to call him the Short Fingered Vulgarian. Granted like most people, my favorite billionaire is Richard Branson but the Donald isn't too bad. I hope they show his kids; Ivanka is pretty.

That lifetime McDonald's pass is almost as cool as Destiny's Child's Popeye's Chicken pass. Ah, I'd hate for rich people to starve.

The hair just slays me. It's so fake looking but a signature like Pamela Anderson's boobies.

Is it a horrible combover? Is it an atrociously bad rug? Is it both, with a side order of hair dye fry? I'm glad to see that others are as bewildered as I am that a billionaire "ladies' man" would wear road kill on his head. I'm both repelled and fascinated by his head. (The little I know of his personality only repels me).

I'll probably watch.

After seeing an ice skater performing (at Rockefeller rink?) on some pre-Xmas infonews spot, with a large "TRUMP" visible in the background, I wonder how many times we will see the name plastered across various real estate on each show. My guess is 12 times per episode (excluding opening credits).

I have seen it up close and have determined it to be a combover. Why would a rug have such a far side part? He's using that fringe hair to cover his whole nasty head. I heard him on Howard Stern this morning trying to promote the show, but the main info I got from the interview is that in the 5 years he's been with his current girlfriend, he's neither heard her fart nor known that she's defecated. I guess when you have homes that large, the mystery can remain intact.

I already posted this in the media thread, but thought you'd all like to know: The Donald addresses the hair issue in this week's EW ("Stupid Questions" segment).

Q: If I were your apprentice for a day, would I learn how to get a hairstyle like yours?

A: Just look in the mirror and play with it until you think it looks good.

All that money and delusional, to boot.

omg. How can he look in the mirror every day and go "yup. That's the look I'm going for." ??? wtf?

(seeing as how I'm already asking 'wtf?', much like with my fav show Alias, I think this will be a show I'll be watching.)

I like The Donald (don't sue me, Disney!) and I've been looking forward to The Combover's Apprentice for a long time. I too wish that an episode could be devoted to his hair. Is it still a combover or is it now a combforward? It appears to be swept forward into a bang of sorts. I am not surprised that he isn't aware of his girlfriend's, er, natural habits. He strikes me as the type who would break off a relationship in a New York minute if the woman belched or her stomach growled. I must add him to the list of wildly-extravagant celebrities I love (the list includes P Diddy, Kimora Lee Simmons, and Anyone Versace).

The Hair. The Hair.
I just watched the first episode, and now I understand everyone's fascination with it.
I didn't really watch the show. I just watched his Hair.

In the beginning of the show, as he stepped out of his limo, there was quite a breeze and that lid was flapping ever so gently. He must use a can of Aquanet on that thing. Another fascinating perspective was seeing the side view -- very flat on top with a shelf in front. I think he's going for an Elroy Jetson effect.

How much does anyone wanna bet that his hair is just a REALLY expensive, REALLY high-quality toupee? Real hair is not. that. perfect.

Yes, please for the love of God. Between the hair, and the way overstated opulence, if any billionaire needs a make-better, it's him.

I have suspicions his hair is actually a living symbiote like the "Venom" suit that Eddie Brock wears in Spider-Man. Good character. Maybe Trump will "Venom" out on us one of these days.

I think it's his real hair and he had a scalp reduction to reduce the bald spot on top. Lose the comb over and get respect. It worked for Guiliani. I'd have a hard time having a conversation with the Donald . His hair would hypotize me and he would own my soul.

That certainly could be true. I'm thinning myself, and it's either a baseball cap, or people just look and I say, "Okay, I'm going bald, dammit!"
It's right up there with Sam Donaldson's. I say call in a zoologist to study the thing.
The depths of Trump (seemingly)compensating for something inadequate boggle my fragile little mind.

His apartment and "girlfriend" scream: "I need to be immersed in my gilded wealth because I have a small penis." Or something like that.

Hee. Tee-hee-hee-hee. Guilty Pleasure, you really tickled my funnybone with that one.

A couple of years ago, when she was first on the show, Kelly Ripa had a passing joke about the terror that is Trump's hair. Regis is a good friend of Trump's and the next day said something like he had heard from Trump and he hadn't liked that at all. So maybe The Donald is more sensitive about the subject than he lets on.

I saw a news magazine segment recently about Donald's son, who's now working for his dad. Apparently Trump doesn't cut him any slack. Heh.

I absolutely love The Donald. He is evil incarnate. I found myself actually squealing with delight when he came on the screen last night. I hope he chews these kids up and spits them out on his gold-plated floor.

God Bless America.

I was totally and utterly entranced by his hair last night. Is it a comb-over? Is it a rug? Are there plugs? Is it blonde? Burgundy? One thing I know for sure, it involves a lot of Aquanet.

I love the way he says "huge." I don't know why.

That's an understatement - it was the wind from a helicopter idling on the ground - and his hair barely moved! Forget getting caught in wind tunnel, we're never gonna see this thing dislodged. Also notice how he's almost always shown from his right side. You barely ever see the left side of his head, where his part starts just above his ear. He's worse than Mariah Carey & Barbra Streisand with the camera angle cheating.

I thought The Donald's questions at the board meeting with the guys were awesome. So blunt and pointed. He asks better questions than Jeff Probst.

His! Hair! Is! Striped!

I'm still trying to get over that. I was (ironically, in light of our esteemed recapper) watching an old TAR tape, turned it off, and saw The Donald and his hideous striped hair. I kept trying to go back to the TAR tape, but the hair was too bizarre to ignore.

Having said that, I do think The Donald played his part pretty well. He got rid of one of the more disastrous contestants, kept to his image, and probably didn't spend too much time away from his real work.

Which is important because he is BUSY. He cracked me up when he said that the meeting had to be quick because he had lots to do. I feel dirty but when he was discussing the firing with his assistants, I liked him. Or maybe felt less hatred. Its probably because he acted like an actual human being.

I got the feeling that the viceroys are running all the off-site portions of this show. They probably come back to the office, advise The Donald of the results, and Burnett catches a few soundbytes from the meeting to play over footage of a Trump 'copter or a stretch limo, making it look like Trump is actually involved in the operation.

I think The Donald could ask boardroom questions based on reports at least as well as Propst conducts tribal councils based on second-hand information.

Daria, you made me snorfle in a very unladylike way.

Does he still actually do any real work? I mean, he has so much damned money, when he walked into the boardroom and told everyone how BUSY he was, I just chuckled because I figured as soon as they were done he was really going out to play golf or go home and sit on his gold-plated throne or something.

I heard Trump on H Stern the other day. He is actually a pretty funny guy (at least with Howard). He was talking about how he's never seen or heard Melandia do a #2 and HS was like Beth (his GF) too! LOL.

He admits he's shallow and he says he's never drank a drop of alcohol or smoked or done drugs, his addiction is women.

Oh my god. You'd think if it was a toupee he'd have a better looking one. His hair looks like an opossum curled up on his head and went to sleep.

have to eat to be able to do either, dontcha?

ETA maybe he isn't home much?

M has got a kickass body, sure doesn't look like an anorexic or something. I am sure she eats, but she is good at shitting while the Donald is away, which is probably often.

In a place that size, I'm sure they have separate bathrooms. That helps maintain the mystery, I'm sure.

The amazing thing? How tasteless an apartment furnished like that actually winds up looking. And yet The Donald obviously loves it. I'll bet he sits around and presses the button for the fountain whenever he gets bored.

I can't believe how much I hate this guy. What an ass! His hair and some of his facial expressions are hilarious. He's almost a parody of himself. Everything about him is so tacky and shallow. If I ever have the honour of meeting him I'll make sure to let out a great big fart!

Edited to add: I would guess that his girlfriend has to hide that fact that she gets a period too.

Hee! That was SO funny!

He talks like he stuffs his mouth with cotton, to sound menacing, much like the godfather. Or, that he actually has cottonmouth. Neither of which, after seeing his tacky mobster/serious drug addict bachelor pad, would I put past him.

Ick.

And did anyone else think that there really wasn't anyone else on the other line of that helicopter phone?

Either that or she has been woefully and tragically constipated for the last 5 years. In fact, I think living with him would have to have some kind of permanent, negative consequence so that isn't so strange after all!

Feeling like putting my career skills to good use in pursuit of information related to my TV addiction, I went searching for public information on the Donald's salary and wealth. If you click here, you'll go to the SEC site for the most recent Proxy filing for the Donald's public company, Trump Hotels and Casino Resorts. (He has a separate private company, the Trump Organization, where George Ross and Carolyn Kepcher work.)

So, in this filing from last April, you'll see what the public company paid him over the last three years as his compensation package for being Chairman & CEO of the company. On page 16, it shows he made $1,500,000 in salary and also received $3.88M from a previous contract to receive payments based on a 1993 contract. He also got 500,000 options last year (which right now are underwater - hee hee.)

Also of note, as shown on page 8, is that he owns 17,684,873 shares of their stock. Today, the stock closed at $2.26, meaning that his shares of the company are worth just under $40M.

You may be asking yourself, how hard does he have to work to get all this? Well, I I found this sentence quite interesting (towards the bottom of page 21):

Translated, that means that he doesn't show up there and perform services every day. He provides services to that company "from time to time". And for that he made over $5M from that company last year. Nice.

When The Duck was on Regis, he said Burnett had promised him that the show would only take about three hours a week of his time, but that instead, it took about 30.

He also mentioned a couple of times how intelligent and business-savvy the 16 contestants all were, which at least let me know that he wasn't involved in any way with the casting. I also have trouble believing that 150,000 people applied.

And his hair looked even worse on Regis -- I'm assuming because they didn't make a point of trying to film him in the most flattering angle.

Burnett lie? (Gasp!) Who'd believe that. :-)

The Donald was aT the Beverly Hill Hotel and CNN asked him about Michael Jackson having a business meeting without being present. The Donald didn't think it was a good idea and a sure way to get screwed over. Good old Donald, even in the middle of promoting his reality show, he has time to help an embattled wacky superstar.

I know whatever badger resting on top on "The Donald's" head gets most of the attention, but lets not forget that small, meely, twisted, smarmy little mouth of his. Maybe people kiss his ass, because they want to avoid contact with that freaky little mouth of his.

I'm sure she doesn't have a period. You don't need to, just keep taking the pill without a break. Lot's of flight attendants do that.

She interests me, because she didn't strike me as particularly beautiful and I must respectfully disagree about the 'killer body'. She doesn't have a bad body, and her face is ok although I'll bet it's seen both scalpels and syringes in its time. But not Drop Dead Gorgeous. The Donald does seem to like trashy-looking women.

As for the apartment, it would have been so nice to have my prejudices confounded by a beautiful, harmonious space filled with fine art and lovely things. But, sadly, we got the gold leaf and the objets from Stop Me And Buy One Real Reproductions Co, 29 Rue Louis Quinze, Versailles, France.

Le Donald was on Jay Leno last nite. Jay asked him whether the ladies on the show flirt with him, and he replied that they do. He also said something to the effect - maybe it was in response to a question, I don't remember - that most of the ladies are beautiful, but that they're not all beautiful.

Ouch!!! That's GOTTA hurt!

I just mentioned this in The Hair thread. The Fab Five need to do an intervention with The Hair and do something with the apartment.

The show has been wonderfully entertaining so far, with lots of snark potential. The hair is fun to make fun of, and The Donald's ego and tacky apt. also have been easy targets.

One observation I would like to make, however, is that I've been impressed with Trump's insight, both into business and into people. There is no doubt that he has been very successful in business, and his skills have been on good display on the show. I really like the fact that he is sharing some business lessons with the apprentices, and by extension with the TV audience. I know that Donald's object lesson on "talking to the top guy" was likely edited-in ex post facto, but nonetheless, it is valuable for anyone trying to learn business to hear that one must talk to a decisionmaker to get anything done. And, simultaneously, to see Jason get fired precisely because he did not do this reinforced the message.

I would further add that I thought Trump's interactions with the apprentices were taken to a new level yesterday. He does seem to be getting to know them. Yeah, sure, he has people who are helping him do that....but that's the way it works in real life, too. I thought Trump was particularly sharp in the boardroom with the guys--he was perceptive about what really happened, he asked good questions, he acknowledged that the guys didn't totally blow the assignment, and he even showed a little compassion towards Jason when he canned him.

I've liked The Donald since I read Art of the Deal back in the '80s.

That being said, my predicition is that we'll go through thirteen weeks of "business" competitions but he's still going to hire whomever has the biggest boobs.

Did anyone else grow up reading the Bloom County comic strip? There was a wonderful storyline involving The Donald's brain being transplanted into the body of a dead cat. Brilliant stuff. I miss that comic.

Anyway, after BC and Doonsbury, it's kind of hard to take the guy seriously, even if he does have 40 million more than I do. At least *my* brain has never been in the body of a dead cat... er, yet.

... I keep waiting for one of his Apprentices to slip up and actually call him 'The Donald.' I wonder how he'd react.

I'd put money on someone calling him "The Trumpster" first.

There was an article in The New York Times Friday about the growing trend of of "Virtual Golf Courses" (you hit a ball at a projection screen and pretend to be at the bona-fide Pebble Beach). Trump is mentioned thusly:

I had a good laugh at the thought of Donald insisting his simulator be higher than anyone else's in the known universe.

I'd take that bet (the Trumpster one). "The Donald" is sort of his "official" nickname.

Those Bloom County cartoons... I have fond memories of them. I don't get physical newspapers though, so I haven't seen the new strips though...