Nope, I'm afraid it's for real. Even went to www.clubforgrowth.org to get the quote right. I can't find anything on the webpage that would suggest it's a parody site.

Can anyone currently in Iowa confirm seeing it on TV?

He drinks latte?! And eats sushi?! Get thee back to Vermont, thou spawn of ... um, Vermont!

They forgot to throw in metrosexual and bagel chewing. Because people in the midwest are all stupid bigots who won't be insulted by ads based on the premise that they are.

Wow, never knew Vermont was such a cool place.

According to the Gephardt campaign, the Club for Growth ad is awful on purpose, in order to draw support for Dean, who the Club for Growth feels will be the weakest candidate when it comes to the actual Presidential election in November.



Here's the full text of the article.

My brain hurts.

These commercials haven't actually aired yet, and I hope I don't get Tubey stomped for posting the link, but moveon.org recently hosted a contest looking for anti-Bush ads and they got some great entries. You can see them at: Bush in 30 seconds.

They are trying to get the winning ad played during the Super Bowl.

You gotta admit, no matter which candidate you support, that campaign advertising is so bad, mind numbingly patronizing and over the top, that it is kind of fun to watch just for snark purposes alone.

LadyAlys, I'd wondered about that -- running that ad to mobilize every Democrat who's ever drunk a latte to vote for Dean. It makes sense, in some wierd way.

And I'll second devajd in saying that some of the moveon.org ads are pretty cool. Some of them are over the top, as you might imagine, but I had to smile at a few of them, low production values and all. The one where a cut-out of Bush's face is taped over a vacuum hose and goes around sucking up pieces of paper labeled "Civil Liberties" and "Separation of Church and State" and the like just had me giggling.

Friends, I've gotta give credit where credit is due. While it is true that Phxchk coined "glittery hoo hoo," plain old (original flavor!) hoo hoo was my contribution. Actually, it was my husband's term. I was telling him how excited I was that my hoo hoo phrase was running rampant all over TwoP and he got all "Why thank you very much for not giving me credit, you plagiarist, you..." I hope Mr.Brow is happy now.

I'd like to voice my intense hatred for the Goodwill guy and his elephantine chin. Gag! Why is he so freaking self-satisfied? His chin is so big, he could double for that Mac the Knife moon head we were discussing recently.

Also, on that Sunny-D commercial with the teenage boy and girl singing out loud in the back seat of the mini-van to their respective headsets, while the annoyed mom and dad roll eyes at each other... It really bugs that when mom and dad put THEIR music on the stereo system and force the kids to listen to it, it's TOTAL ELEVATOR MUSIC! That is so wrong! Are they 87? No. Those people (well, at least the guy) is like my age. (mid-thirties) They should be listening to Duran Duran or some 80s band.

Attention Sunny-D ad staff: People of my age bracket, no matter HOW dorky, do not listen to elevator music!!

From a few pages back:
I saw this commercial this morning. Love it! I want an ass-kicking machine.

So I posted about Mr.Brow's glittery hoo-hoo in the PC thread. I wanna see the damn commerical to see why anyone would want pretty pretty pits.

And the Bush In 30 Seconds ad? Surprisngly well done. Expect it to do nothing (damn them) but my attention was more drawn to the little girl fixing the tire and being impressed by her.

That is some pretty assy music. I like the kids' music though: you can't hear it, but the boy's "rocking" to something supposedly hardcore and the girl is doing all the boy band "don't take my baby" gestures.

archbrow

Is that the commercial where Mom & Dad are singing Walter Egan's 'Magnet & Steel'? That song was popular in 1978. If Dad's MY age (late, late, late 30s)- then MAYBE you could excuse that. I dunno. One person's elevator music is another's late 70's FM radio staple, I guess.

Oh, great. Now I have 'Magnet & Steel' stuck in my head. 'Cause yooouu are a mag-net/and I am steeeeellllll

Please...the girl is totally getting down on what seems like Slyvia Plath put to music. I think I would have preferred the Muzak to that stuff! In fact, I do, sometimes...once I was stuck somewhere that played nonstop elevator stuff and if you listened closely, you could figure what song it was supposed to be. A cool game to play (though none of my coworkers were game) - esp. when one of the songs ended up being a Britney Spears tune (I shit you not).

Back when I worked in the Paint & Hardware Dept of my local Montgomery Ward we had Muzak. All. Day. You haven't lived until you've heard Rod Stewart's 'Young Turks' muzak-ed. Or maybe you don't know what Hell really is.

Why, you won't see anything here...ha-ha-ha-ha-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

Why did it have to be Twitney's Glittery Hoo Hoo? Funny, funny stuff!

Well, you can always find out from the Weather Channel or the digital cable localized Weather Scan Channel which has all pop-based Muzak, all the time.

Why is that I love the Target ads were Spot the dogs shows up with some products for people? It's so simple, yet works so well.

Hey, Lamont, should I be able to see your name?

My feeling on the Sunny D ad is that Mom and Dad picked up tiny little ear plugs at the last service stop and the radio music is retribution for the fucking kids not keeping their craptastic noise to themselves even with god damned headphones on.

I hate the ads for the "killer legs". That DVT stuff. Some sacchrine sweet voice comes on and tells you "these could be killer legs. You could get a blood clot that could be FATAL!" Sheesh, if it's not one thing it's another.

Alexandria Bay

Well, I'm not as good at clouding people's minds as I used to be. I blame Alec Baldwin.

TOPIC: OK, if it wasn't the Sunny-D commercial, what the Hell commercial did I see that had 'Magnet & Steel' in it? I know it was in a commercial that had 2 people (a Mom & dad) singing it while the kids groaned in the backseat. You don't forget the gratuitous use of 'Magnet & Steel' in a commercial so easily.

Aw. Maybe I should just forget it and focus on the NEW song in my head...

Young heeeaaarts/be freeeee/toniiiight/Tiiime/is on/your siiide/Don't let 'em put you down/Don't let 'em push you 'round...

Kill me. Please.

The thing I hate about the Sunny D ad is that it's supposed to be how Sunny D is better for than soda and all that...well, why the hell are the parents buying the soda and the Sunny D? Why not just stop buying the soda in the first place? Huh? Sunny D people, you hearing me on this?

Stupid!

The soda's for the grown-ups. You know, like how the grown-ups eat Progresso but force their kids to choke down condensed piss soup for years!

Edited -- twice -- because apparently I cannot spell today.

Not to mention that SunnyD is less than 2% real juice, and has a little bit more sugar than soda. So basically it's Sunkist with a multivitamin ground up into it. And tiny drop of combined citrus juices. Yup, sooo much healthier.

Speaking of soda: the new Coke commercial with the refridgerator dispenser pack drives me batty. The kid keeps going into the fridge to get a Coke but finds none even though we at home can clearly see one behind the mayo or whatever!!.

Now, granted, the teen can't see the can behind the mayo from his vantage point- but if that were a teenaged Lamont Cranston in that spot- Mom Cranston would have yelled "Look carefully, mook! Move crap around in there fer Chrissakes! We ain't made of money! And why don't you drink the damn juice I bought instead?!"

I do like the different music and/or TV noises you hear each time the kid opens the door. But, I'm just trying to be nice.

While it is a stupid commercial, this one is really true.

When I had surgery they put my legs in this contraption that looked like those leg massager things that were advertised a few months back, only this thing plugged in and would inflate/deflate, to make sure circulation was flowing. Once I could get up and walk, they removed them.

See, I knew there was an ad that's been bugging me! Fortunately, I was able to see it again before I slipped into a psychotic state. It's another in this insipid series of ads SBC is plastering around here for its new DSL service. Starts out, about it takes this long to do such and such, 55 seconds to dump a few stocks, that long to book a redeye to NY. Shows this woman in what I imagine to be an expensive NY apartment doing some sort of exercise, maybe Yoga or Pilates or whatever the hell (you don't get my body by working out in a gym--how would I know). The tagline is something along the lines of how much time can you save? That is, DSL is so much faster, it will leave you a ton of time to do other stuff. The ads before this one? I got 'em. Made sense. Still want nothing to do with SBC, but made sense. This one? I got nothin'.

What was she doing before that she needed to take the redeye? Why NY? And if it was so important, why is she exercising? Ghhaad! I hate ads that don't make sense. Someone help. I'm about this close to scaring my cats.

I had one of those! I got it out of a gumball machine, I think. You were supposed to attach the "invisible" leash to your button or something and make this thing "come to life". Believe me, it wasn't as lifelike as it seemed. Glad I didn't buy the one off the television.

The Sloppy Joe's ad? Hate it. Joe Piscopo needs to get off my TV. When did he get so old, and where did his muscles go? Has he been sick?

There's a new Starburst commercial out that makes no sense. Kind of like that Levi's ad where the jeans could magically repel a herd of rampaging buffalo. 3 or 4 people are walking along while chewing on their Starbursts and chaos surrounds them, cars crash, things blow up, but they continue blissfully along. I don't get it. Is chewing a Starburst supposed to make you so mellow nothing bothers you? Does it protect you from harm? Do we care?

No... which is kind of why I'd like to see them test that theory... =)

My beef with it is that I always think "Buncha goddamn pansies." Listerine isn't that bad! Especially after you've used it for a day or two.

I'm tickled by the idea that the RNC really thinks that Howard Dean is the easiest candidate to beat, especially since their tactics on him have already backfired once. It wasn't until I started hearing "Ohhhh...he's bitter, he's pissed off, he's angry!!" that I said, "Oh, he is? Okay, then I'm for Dean!"

...Cause, y'know...I'm bitter and pissed off and angry too. Seems like "This guy thinks the current administration sucks dead rhino dick!" would be a much more effective campaign tool if there weren't plenty of other people out there who agree, and no Ralph Naders out there to split the anti-Bush vote.

You mean Lucy Liu?



I was watching the Real World New Orleans marathon and that commercial came on literally every 5 minutes. It seems Final Fantasy sponsors all of MTV's late night programming. "I know, I know.. da da da la la. I know, I know."

Would that make Cap'n Crunch on a crusade or jihad against hunger?


I think I saw it somewhere. Brilliant way to show the average American's disdain for those elitist angry left out there.


Isn't it illegal to air those ads, or is this a runaround to that aweful campaign finance laws that were recently passed?


I am pretty sure I once heard a muzak version of Like A Virgin. I'm just waiting for the day I hear muzak versions of songs by Nine Inch Nails.


And why do they store it in the very far back of the fridge, behind all the other stuff the kids never drink?

Am I the only one who is tired of the "accelerated Internet" ads that NetZero has been airing? People, it's only faster because they use a better algorythem for transmitting the webpage images.

Absolutely not. Part of the reasons why has to do with my lack of extreme love for Net Zero. Also, it's overplayed.


Speaking of overplayed, there were a series of commercials that were overplayed a little during the past several football seasons. They're the one's with some creepy guy who can't find an easier way to get the gear the pros wear. I'm sorry if people don't like the commercials, but I just find them hilarious.

Well, they aren't as funny anymore, but the one that never fails to crack me up has to be the one where the guy is literally in a hot tub for lwhat seems like forever. Then after the athlete leaves, he comes out from under the water, without even gasping for breath. Then he takes the jerseys and gets out of there. The look on his face added to everything else is just priceless.

Oh boy. If you and I are indeed talking about the same ad, then I guess I need to start drinking, because sobriety isn't helping me here. But STILL! Who cares if it's Lucy Liu? I still. don't. get. it. Is she getting away from the hustle and bustle of a movie shoot in LA? By going to NY? I'm not sure that having a famous person in the ad helps me understand this. <sigh> I will resign myself to a lifetime of cluelessness, I suppose.

Hotels.com has these ads wherein their employees test out various hotel amenities, so you don't have to. One shows a man getting increasingly sunburned as he checks out hotel pools. That's slightly amusing.

The one I hate has a woman measuring the distance from a hotel to various attractions in the city. She gets to the museum and releases the measuring tape, which we see shoot across the city back to the hotel, where the doorman is holding the other end of the tape. Here's my beef: they've got the tape backwards! He's got the end with the higher numbers on it; once she releases it; how is she going to know what it read on his end?!

Yes, I've given this way too much thought, but the people at Hotels.com clearly didn't give it enough.

FfrauleinN, you're not alone. The tape measure thing has always bugged me too, and it's sad because I think that otherwise I'd like the commercial. That dachschund is too cute!

Nope. 'Specially because NetZero used to actually be free, though you had to have a banner ad across the top of your screen the whole time your were online.

I recently bought a new PC, and there was a NetZero rep in the store who tried to sell me on their new super-duper service. I pointed out to her that "you used to be free," and she kind of hiccuped. Almost like, "Uh, we were hoping no one would remember that."

That "sunburned guy" commercial is odd, in that he has sunburn marks on his face as if he was wearing those sunglasses all the time while he's in the pools -- and yet, when they actually show him in the pool, he's not wearing the glasses, so wouldn't his whole face be burned? Okay, FfrauleinN isn't the only one who gives these things too much thought.

Why can't the parents in the SunnyD ad just tell their kids to shut the hell up if they want to keep listening to their headphones?

FfrauleinN, me too!! Maybe I've just done too much DYI home improvement, but I thought the exact same thing the first time I saw the commercial. And it bugged me for a good 15 minutes, as I tried to figure out how i could possibly work out the way it is shown in the commercial.

Yay! So I'm not crazy! Or, maybe we all are.

And why is NetZero still calling themselves NetZero? It does not cost "zero" dollars anymore. Knock it off.

Can someone please stop the Quest "Spirit of Service" commercials? No one gets excited enough to yell Woo-Hoo! at the thought that Quest may be calling them. That elderly woman must really be starved for excitement. Her reaction to the fact that it's just her sister on the phone would save the commercial if they didn't show it 5 times a day.

I just saw the Turner Classics Movies commercial with the second-graders acting out "Ben-Hur" for the school play and laughed so hard tears ran down my face.

"You have hate in your eyes, Ben-Hur! Hate will keep you strong!" as the little kid rowing behind BH collapses in the background...and the other little kid flailing underneath the "chariot" during the big race scene...

It's about a thousand times funnier than the old people in the nursing home doing "Rocky." And that one was pretty damn funny.

Hee. I love the little kid flailing as he's being "trampled."

I mentioned that effervescent Airborne crap the other day, and I'm not sure if many of you have seen the ads or clicked on that link, but check this one out: http://www.airbornehealth.com/commericals/...borne_cough.mov

This little kid says, "Take Airborne, baby!" And I swear it sounds so much like Lil' Kim's annoying, tight-lipped "You're in the hood now, baby!" Tell me if I'm going nuts ;)

Well, she wouldn't, but the doorman would know how far it was. Aren't you more likely to ask the doorman how far it is to the Opera (or whatever?)

The travelocity gnome: "one might get bubbles up one's whoopsie daisy!" It was cute the first time I heard it. Now it's not. And what's with the not-quite British, not-quite Irish accent?

No! IRL, sure the doorman probably knows if such-and-such is within walking distance, but they were trying to say that Hotels.com can give you info on local attractions before you even get to the hotel. Thus, you can plan your trip accordingly.

The way the commercial plays out, the doorman wouldn't know how far the museum was unless he knew exactly when the woman was releasing her end of the tape measure! I checked for walkie-talkies or any other communication device, and they aren't using any, so there's no way he could know (in this scenario)!

Wow. Okay, I'm done. I swear.

Tornado25, I was going to post about those SBC Yahoo DSL ads, too! Calberk answered my question, partly--are we supposed to recognize the people in those ads. Because I thought that was Lucy Liu. And I kind of thought the woman in the hammock was Liv Tyler, but I have no idea who the black guy in the third ad is.

Re: the Travelocity gnome. Isn't that the voice of Craig Ferguson? If so, I'm guessing that his is more of a Scottish/English hybrid.

And SunnyD seems to be doing a fine job of advertising itself as a healthy, juice-like substance. In the Amok household, Mr. Amok is no longer allowed to bring home juice for the kiddies, since he can't seem to grasp that SunnyD is no better, nutritionally, than most sodas.