Hobbes16
Apr 22, 2004 @ 11:25 am
Liquid BandAid burns like the fires of hell!
I knew it! Every time I see that damn commercial, I wince in pain. I just
knew it had to burn like a disco inferno! *shudders*
It's very disturbing when the Sumo dude wraps his arms around him and takes him down.
And my surrounding neighbicles just looked at me, wondering why I snorted my coffee onto my desk.
And that new McDonald's commercial needs to die, die, DIE. I saw it like a gazillion times during last night's
One Tree Hill, and heaven above, I nearly threw my coffee table through my television. It's horrid. The woman, looking at her date, who may be the perfect man (with his horrible Gaston-like face, and that smug wink), and they roll into a McDonald's, where he proceeds to order for her. She then thinks he's a control freak and OMG, I can't even describe this commercial without my blinding hatred making me want to kill, kill, KILL. This commercial, it is horrible. [/Samir]
Miki The Brain
Apr 22, 2004 @ 11:27 am
But no, the guy starts dropping sardines, rutabega, raw liver and whatnot into a blender.
Just reading this made my stomach turn. Plus, strangely it brought to mind Dan Akroyd's Bass-o-matic skit on SNL.
Mimi10022
Apr 22, 2004 @ 12:06 pm
See, I would like that commercial, but the rest of the ads in that series really annoy me, because it only features male business travelers getting excited about the breakfast. Because business person=man. There aren't any women on the road, donchaknow? Maybe I'm overly sensitive, but it just grates.
Oh, I hate this commercial sooo much. Not only are the only business people who travel businessMEN, but they are overweight businessmen who are cheering for cinnamon buns! Gee, anyone would love breakfast if it was fatty, tasty junk! Those guys should only be jumping around if those cinnamon buns were calorie-free and tasted great. Otherwise, they should jump on the treadmill and have a balanced breakfast, go to their business meeting and leave me alone.
ChinkyGirl
Apr 22, 2004 @ 12:06 pm
Just wanted to add that I never tried Liquid Bandaid, but from the gory descriptions, I'd recommend trying New Skin instead...we've had this stuff at our house since God knows when and it's pretty good!
Fruitbat
Apr 22, 2004 @ 12:09 pm
Do the advertisers that come up with this garbage really pat themselves on the back when they find a work that rhymes with "gellin'"? Sad.
Like Magellan, baby. Who is probably rolling in his grave at being invoked for insoles.
Mangetical Anji
Apr 22, 2004 @ 12:11 pm
Just reading this made my stomach turn. Plus, strangely it brought to mind Dan Akroyd's Bass-o-matic skit on SNL.
Dan Ackroyd probably could have made it funny. And itwould give him something to do.
ubi
Apr 22, 2004 @ 12:13 pm
Too busy making the chicken create pillow forts.
Oooh! I made him do it too! Poor thing couldn't hide in his. Awww.
There's an ad for KFC - with the woman coming home and yelling at her husband/boyfriend and his friends about having her mother come over and cook them "Kitchen Fresh Chicken" (who calls their own food things like that?!). The woman, man and mother are black. Maybe I'm altogether too sensitive, but: racist, much?
Yeah, I winced when I saw that ad too, but it also annoyed me that the woman even thought that crap was made by her mother, unless, of course, her momma works for KFC.
I love this thread for all the snarky goodness. However, I apparently missed an inside joke that I'm sure I'd bwah over all day. Could someone explain "Seriously [monkey]" to me? Than
I'm not clear on it myself, but back when people couple pay TVwoP to put up banner ads, someone put it up as a response to another banner put up by some Buffy fans who expressed their upset at Tara's girlfriend getting killed. Oddly enough, I recently saw the picture of a monkey in that banner in the opening credits of Buffy, so now I'm confused.
Brace yourselves. The Dancing Penis is back.
Yeah, I saw it too! This time, however, it gets abused in all sorts of ways, including getting kicked in the balls. Hee!
See, I would like that commercial, but the rest of the ads in that series really annoy me, because it only features male business travelers getting excited about the breakfast. Because business person=man. There aren't any women on the road, donchaknow? Maybe I'm overly sensitive, but it just grates.
Maybe it's because women would never get excited about cinnamon buns? :-)
FfrauleinN
Apr 22, 2004 @ 12:41 pm
Okay,
Hobbes16, out with it. Where did you get "neighbicle"? Or did you make it up yourself? Because that is too funny.
The woman, looking at her date, who may be the perfect man (with his horrible Gaston-like face, and that smug wink),
Get the
eff outta my head! OMG, I can't believe I forgot to post about this. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with that guy's face, but then it came to me: he
does look like Gaston! He really, really does! Man, I hate all those "I'm lovin' it" ads. (BTW, the McDonald's near me now makes their employees wear ties emblazoned with the slogan. Hee!)
Is NuSkin the one with the faux-reggae jingle for no apparent reason?
(
"Sometimes bandages just won't work, sometimes bandages just won't do ... that's when NuSkin is there for you")
Miss Granger
Apr 22, 2004 @ 1:00 pm
I'd recommend trying New Skin instead
I will concur with this. And it doesn't have a gross, nasty commercial to boot. However, on an open blister, it also stings like the fires of hell.
The Dancing Penis is back! Woot! How I've missed him. Which is sad. Now, the dancing Shatners on the other hand... *shudder*
Hobbes16
Apr 22, 2004 @ 1:02 pm
I made up neighbicle on the fly. For the past 5 years, I've had my own office, but I just switched employers (to a much better environment and a much better paying job, thank God). However, the downside is I now have a cubicle instead. I loathe it.
Gaston's wink was almost the most offensive part (up until the end, where he was happy because she was a control freak...ugh!). It wasn't sexy. It looked like some kind of mental twitch. I expected him to start a 'tard drool at any moment.
Pepsi Princess
Apr 22, 2004 @ 1:04 pm
From a few pages back:
Also, isn't MacGuyver the fake cop on the fake cop show Patty and Selma watch on the Simpsons?
The Simpsons watch
McGonagle (sp?)
Saw and ad last night for a CD with some remade dance tunes on it. It had these whory women dancing nude and nearly nude showing as much boobage as allowed on tv (and jiggling them as much as possible). I can't remember the name, but I think it had "Dance" and "05" in the title. I was thoroughly disgusted! It wasn't even on that late, as I fell asleep before midnight. Anyone see this?
bakaney
Apr 22, 2004 @ 1:47 pm
Saw and ad last night for a CD with some remade dance tunes on it. It had these whory women dancing nude and nearly nude showing as much boobage as allowed on tv (and jiggling them as much as possible). I can't remember the name, but I think it had "Dance" and "05" in the title. I was thoroughly disgusted! It wasn't even on that late, as I fell asleep before midnight. Anyone see this?
Pepsi Princess, I saw this as well. Horrified. And was somewhat shocked that in the days of NippleGate that so. much. boobage. can be shown on television prior to midnight. I mean those women were but a centimeter from nipplage from left, right and above!
And do the people behind the Dancing Penis not realise that that thing is....well, a dancing penis?! (well, although now it's a sumo wrestling penis). Should we expect more Dancing Penis activities? Windsurfing Penis? Ice Skating Penis? Slam Dunking Penis? Skateboarding Penis? Will he be doing a duet with the spongemonkeys next?
edited to reduce the number of times the word 'penis' appears in the post.
Hobbes16
Apr 22, 2004 @ 1:56 pm
Saw and ad last night for a CD with some remade dance tunes on it. It had these whory women dancing nude and nearly nude showing as much boobage as allowed on tv (and jiggling them as much as possible). I can't remember the name, but I think it had "Dance" and "05" in the title. I was thoroughly disgusted! It wasn't even on that late, as I fell asleep before midnight. Anyone see this?
You sure it wasn't a Coors Light ad?[/sarcasm] I hate those ads with the passion of blahblah. Can they
be any more sexist?
screamapiller
Apr 22, 2004 @ 2:27 pm
I made up neighbicle on the fly.
I applaude your level of smartitude,
Hobbes16. That may replace "monohooter" (tm someone on the
American Idol boards description of all the girls in ill-fitting tube tops) as my new favorite word introduced on this board.
Topic? I do not heart the "Gellin" commercials. "I'm gellin' like a felon"? I highly doubt Dr. Scholls Comfort Gel Insoles are standard prison issue....
Sideshow Al
Apr 22, 2004 @ 2:57 pm
And do the people behind the Dancing Penis not realise that that thing is....well, a dancing penis?! . . . Will he be doing a duet with the spongemonkeys next?
Man, that would make for one awkward jingle:
We like tha . . . um . . .
Hey! That's not a pepper bar! And it's too close to us!Topic: I do not heart the "gellin'" commercials either. They're slightly more tolerable if you mentally replace the word "gellin'" with the phrase "stoned off my ass;" but again, the improvement is only slight.
ajra
Apr 22, 2004 @ 6:02 pm
edited to reduce the number of times the word 'penis' appears in the post
This made me laugh so very much... then it made me sad, as it brought to mind the number of times the word 'penis' appears in my life.
*Note to self: much watch more tv to numb the painBack on topic... what is the product using this dancing penis? I don't think I've seen this ad.
Cleo256
Apr 22, 2004 @ 6:57 pm
I think it's Hi-C. It's supposed to be a tongue, but the costume design went horribly awry.
archbrow
Apr 22, 2004 @ 7:33 pm
Has anyone seen the ad for... I don't know what... a bank or a credit card or something... where there is an extremely low angle shot (like camera man was lying on the ground or close to it) of a kick-ass old lady with long dark grey braids, wearing an orange and yellow accordion-pleated muumuu with bell sleeves, dancing in a most hip and amusing manner, all the while with an absolutely deadpan expression? And the shot is only of the upper 1/4 of her (half of her face, one arm, half of her torso)? And she is dancing to a jazzed up version of "Mary Had a Little Lamb?"
I LOVE this woman. I LOVE the way she dances. Sadly for the ad agency, I have no idea what the commercial is for, but I remember the slogan is something like, "and the happy get happier." Well this commercial makes me happy. I want her for my grandma.
Please tell me someone else has seen this...
vegasusa555
Apr 22, 2004 @ 7:45 pm
I haven't seen the dancing penis' triumphant return, but please for the love of god tell me he does't go to a donut shop!@@@!!!!
Hi, i'm 12!!!
Dane
Apr 22, 2004 @ 7:47 pm
I LOVE this woman. I LOVE the way she dances. Sadly for the ad agency, I have no idea what the commercial is for, but I remember the slogan is something like, "and the happy get happier." Well this commercial makes me happy. I want her for my grandma.
It's for Citibank. I love this commercial, too. Something about her unself-conscious dancing & her emotionless face just make me smile.
Shelwood
Apr 22, 2004 @ 8:06 pm
I haven't seen the dancing penis' triumphant return, but please for the love of god tell me he doesn't go to a donut shop!@@@!!!!
No, but he does end up frolicking in a field of wildflowers with a young woman. I swear. It's like a feminine hygiene commercial, only exactly the opposite.
New ad I like: the Jet Blue one where the workers give obvious answers. Can anyone identify the vaguely familiar interviewer?
Also, the Mercedes photo album ad (the anti-toaster one), the music in that, is it funky or porny? Because I know you folks are the experts.
apdcubc
Apr 22, 2004 @ 8:13 pm
Speaking of dancing penises...
Has anyone else seen ads for the Athens Olympics? The mascots are two, I kid you not, penises with sweaters on. They're supposed to be replicas of ancient sculptures the Greeks used to make. I guess no one told the Athens org comm that the reason why these sculptures were made was because they were FERTILITY SYMBOLS. People are silly.
wdejesus79
Apr 22, 2004 @ 8:23 pm
the McDonald's near me now makes their employees wear ties emblazoned with the slogan. Hee!
Hey,
FfrauleinN, you actually look them in the eye? I always avoid their obvious pleas of help. I look down at my cell phone, fiddle with my car radio (when going through the drive through) search through my purse, anything.
New CitiBank ad: with Asian woman/dentist, and the voice of a man, saying that he went to Tijuana, and waxed his chest, and other nasty things. Ew.
Sandman87
Apr 22, 2004 @ 8:52 pm
Saw and ad last night for a CD with some remade dance tunes on it. It had these whory women dancing nude and nearly nude showing as much boobage as allowed on tv (and jiggling them as much as possible).
No kidding. If you turn the sound off you might mistake it for a Victoria's Secret commercial. I remember yelling "Give me a
break!" at the tv when I saw it last night.
ChinkyGirl
Apr 22, 2004 @ 9:07 pm
I swear there was a point in that ad where the dancing lady grabbing her breasts was almost completely naked! I don't think I remember any of the songs from that ad either, I was so distracted by what they can put on at 10 PM!
Rabrab
Apr 22, 2004 @ 9:11 pm
A comment on the various Nissan car ads--you know, the ones that don't make any sense. I just saw a new one (well, new to me,) tonight.
"One night, lawyers crept into your house and made you signa contract to be a safe responsible driver. The bad news, it is your signature on the contract. The good news: nobody said it had to be boring..."
The hell?
Why am I supposed to think that buying a certain car is a good idea, when the whole company is clearly smoking some high quality weed?
glstx
Apr 22, 2004 @ 9:48 pm
Way way back someone mentioned that in the Listerine commerical where the family hides, the cabinet pulls look like eyes. Now, everytime I see that commerical, all I see are the eyeballs! They draw my attention and totally freak me out. Thanks, whoever that was.
naepTV
Apr 22, 2004 @ 11:21 pm
"Just reading this made my stomach turn. Plus, strangely it brought to mind Dan Akroyd's Bass-o-matic skit on SNL."
Miki The Brain, That is one of my favorite classic SNL bits. And it works here on The Commercial Thread.
"mmmmmmmm, now that's great bass......."
Miki The Brain
Apr 22, 2004 @ 11:26 pm
rabrab, I saw that ad too. But ::whispers:: I sort of liked it.
And Shelwood, funky, porny. What's the difference? (I secretly adore the use of the wah pedals in both!)
DramaQueenLite
Apr 22, 2004 @ 11:27 pm
Speaking of dancing penises...
Has anyone else seen ads for the Athens Olympics? The mascots are two, I kid you not, penises with sweaters on. They're supposed to be replicas of ancient sculptures the Greeks used to make. I guess no one told the Athens org comm that the reason why these sculptures were made was because they were FERTILITY SYMBOLS. People are silly.
Hee! I saw that commercial on
The Daily Show a little while back and couldn't stop laughing, watching all the little children running after the two walking penes. Although- weren't they wearing vaguely Hawaiian-like shirts? Athens Presents: The Tourist Penis!
wdejesus79, I also saw the new Citibank commercial with the dentist, speaking in a Lounge-Lizard-Larry voice about his hairplugs. "Come on ladies, there's enough of me to go around."
cjgurl427
Apr 22, 2004 @ 11:35 pm
Dude. We're
famous. In an MSNBC article about Clairol considering Omarosa as a spokesperson:
On Television Without Pity.com, the emotions were running high. “If the Omarosa path is one Clairol wishes to go down, there are so many other ‘love to hate’ people,” one poster wrote. “What about Hitler? Imelda Marcos? Ted Bundy? (VERY nice hair!)”
Heh. Who posted this? I like the cut of their jib.
ETA: This is, in fact, relevant - I'm sure this commercial would have been discussed in here ad nauseam if it had ever been filmed and aired.
Rabrab
Apr 22, 2004 @ 11:57 pm
That lovely snippet was from the poison pen of yarnz.
Oh, and I thought the Nissan ad was rather interesting too, I just don't know how effective it is. But then I'm probably about ten years too old for the target market.
jolly_roger
Apr 23, 2004 @ 1:24 am
Should we expect more Dancing Penis activities? Windsurfing Penis? Ice Skating Penis? Slam Dunking Penis? Skateboarding Penis?
[cue up-tempo music]
[Announcer voice]Dancing! Windsurfing! Ice Skating! Slam Dunking! Skateboarding! All with your
new penis!*ahem* Sorry, I couldn't help it.
please for the love of god tell me he does't go to a donut shop!@@@!!!!
Nope, but I'd love to see him in a tire swing.
The mascots are two, I kid you not, penises with sweaters on.
Which is especially funny, since one of them is female. Yes, she's a
girl penis. The mascots are supposedly based on ancient dolls, and they don't look terribly phallic to me, personally, but I will concede that they're blobbly, abstract little buggers. The female is only distinguished from the male by the two limp semi-circles that represent her breasts.
Miki The Brain
Apr 23, 2004 @ 1:47 am
Alright, I finally caved and googled the
Athens mascots, Athena and Phevos (apparently, according to
another website, Phevos is another name for Apollo). It's a slideshow and the Athens ones are the last ones. Interesting to see some of the other ones.
Topic: Has anyone seen an advert for the Olympics on NBC yet?
beezer
Apr 23, 2004 @ 2:43 am
I understand the car ads featuring windy roads, I understand the car ads featuring safety features. I do not understand the car ad that centers around that you can fit a sixth person in between the two front seats.
This is a selling point? The women in the ad went to lunch or whatever, if they're someplace you drive to lunch, they can't bring two cars? How'd they
get there? That the woman stuffed on the gearshift has no discernable safety devices also bugs.
Erinjsnark - I can't believe you didn't check back 125 pages in case somone mentioned
seriously. ;)
ubi
Apr 23, 2004 @ 6:22 am
And do the people behind the Dancing Penis not realise that that thing is....well, a dancing penis?! (well, although now it's a sumo wrestling penis). Should we expect more Dancing Penis activities? Windsurfing Penis? Ice Skating Penis? Slam Dunking Penis? Skateboarding Penis? Will he be doing a duet with the spongemonkeys next?
How about a dancing penis and a glittery hoo-hoo?
edited to reduce the number of times the word 'penis' appears in the post.
Hee! yeah, I'm twelve.
I saw the dancing lady for that CD as well. I don't remember any of the songs in particular, but I recall they were all lame remixes.
FfrauleinN
Apr 23, 2004 @ 7:42 am
Okay, "penises with sweaters on" is funny. It just is.
No, but he does end up frolicking in a field of wildflowers with a young woman. I swear. It's like a feminine hygiene commercial, only exactly the opposite.
Where, when, and how can I see this? It sounds surreal.
Hey, FfrauleinN, you actually look them in the eye? I always avoid their obvious pleas of help. I look down at my cell phone, fiddle with my car radio (when going through the drive through) search through my purse, anything.
Bwah! That’s fuckin' hilarious. No, actually I'm usually trying to peek in the back to make sure I don’t get a spitburger.
Mr. F went inside to make sure we got fresh fries and clued me in to the Ties of Shame. Haven't seen them in an ad yet,though.
How about a dancing penis and a glittery hoo-hoo?
I would pay good money to see that.
jcpdiesel21
Apr 23, 2004 @ 8:50 am
Ew! Those Athens Olympics mascots are gross! Overgrown penises (penii?) with feet! And thank goodness that the female has such elaborate breasts drawn on her, otherwise I wouldn't have known which one was her. [/sarcasm] Who comes up with these Olympic mascots anyway? Drunk and high people?
etain
Apr 23, 2004 @ 9:01 am
Has anyone seen an advert for the Olympics on NBC yet?
Yeah, I've seen a few of them, actually. They all follow a similar format -- the scene is either someone's house, or a bar, or somewhere else where there's a TV (I think one even has a couple security guys on the job) with a bunch of people huddled around watching some Olympic event (I've seen track, diving, boxing...) the people watching are hanging on the edge of their seat, watching a very tense moment in the event, and then when whoever it is wins on the TV they're watching, they get all excited and freak out.
Kind of nicely understated. I like them.
rincie
Apr 23, 2004 @ 9:16 am
We like tha . . . um . . .
Hey! That's not a pepper bar! And it's too close to us!
This? Funniest. Shit. Ever.
I can't stop laughing. Thank goodness I'm in my own office with a door.
Sideshow Al, you are brilliant.
screamapiller
Apr 23, 2004 @ 9:18 am
Ew! Those Athens Olympics mascots are gross! Overgrown penises (penii?) with feet!
No worse that Izzy/Whatzit, who in his
original incarnation had stars shooting out of his arse which made him look like he had a wicked case of hemorrhoids. Even after the Atlanta organizing committee had him redesigned, it was
still an idiotic mascot.
Bring back Cobi the dog or Millie the echidna! (and, really, how often do we get to see a spiny anteater as a mascot for
anything?)
Topic? Finally saw the new Saturn OnStar commercial, LOVE the bit in the grocery store where Mom and kids are on line and all the Emergency Services folks are standing in line with them!
peachpye
Apr 23, 2004 @ 9:42 am
Since McDonald's is on the table (figuratively), you too can own their POP materials from
this site. So very scary.
I've still not seen the dancing penis. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.
temp drone
Apr 23, 2004 @ 9:51 am
Sorry to dredge up some old topics, but I've been in serious TWoP withdrawal for the past week and a half...
The commercial says: "Mike heads up an IT Department, loves animals, and romantic walks to the convenience store".
Screamapiller, I interpreted "romantic walks to the convenience store" as "condom run," but that's just my dirty mind at work.
Speaking of dirty minds, that Levitra Lady cracks me up. What I find funniest is her talking about "erectile quality." Translation: "better hard-ons"?
Oh, and the
Subservient Chicken. Try making it do karate or ballet if you want the shit scared out of you. And has anyone noticed that his kung fu looks more like tai chi?
Ilikegrayarrows
Apr 23, 2004 @ 9:58 am
I don't think the Olypmic mascots are all that phallic. They're just not very godly, which is too bad, cause Athena and Phobus Apallo are damn awesome. There are so many way cooler things they could have had.
Jamoche
Apr 23, 2004 @ 10:25 am
Is it just me, or does Cobi the Dog have only one nipple?
Cress
Apr 23, 2004 @ 10:50 am
(apparently, according to another website, Phevos is another name for Apollo)
How weird. Phevos must be an alternate spelling of Phoebus, as in Phoebus Apollo. It's supposed to be a descriptive adjective, meaning "shining" or "radiant", so as to emphasize Apollo's association with the sun. Accordingly, Apollo's sister Artemis was sometimes called Phoebe, the feminine version of that name.
Having Athena be sister to Apollo is just plain weird, but I guess they're assuming that most people don't know much mythology.
Phred62
Apr 23, 2004 @ 11:48 am
The one with the two friends at the shoe store is ok, but the one who meets her friends out to dinner and spends the whole commercial with her mouth open, she grates. No wonder she can't find a man and spends all her time bleaching her teeth!
Oooh! That is the one I hate more than any other commercial on tv. Even the Universal Studios commercial and that’s saying something! Not only does she never close her mouth but she doesn’t even move her lips. I wouldn’t be asking if she had a new guy I’d be asking what the hell is wrong with your mouth!
I want to join the "I'm SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE-AAAAAAAAAY!" love train. That guy KILLS me. I don't know why it's funny.
The funny part for me is the fact that his co-workers look at him like he’s nuts and then let him try it again.
I also hate the Sprint commercial with the sock stealing little person who sticks the socks in his pants and then shakes them at the woman. Ew!
Alexandria Bay
Apr 24, 2004 @ 5:59 am
Aw, I love the little sock thief! He and the roaming gnome would make a cute couple. That's right, I'm talking gnome/sock thief fan fic.
"No, son, the word is *tentacles* and I don't think there are any octupuses in the lake." It took me a couple of times to catch what he's saying because it's the very beginning of the ad, but HA! Because you know what the kid said instead of tentacles. This is an ad for some snack food--dad and kids fishing in a boat.
aurora
Apr 24, 2004 @ 8:22 am
My inner twelve year old can't help but laugh every time I see those "find protein in unexpected places" ads.
Miss Granger
Apr 24, 2004 @ 8:26 am
Re: the Dancing Penis, and other assorted advertising penises...
It's like a feminine hygiene commercial, only exactly the opposite.
In my demented mind, that's a perfect ad for feminine hygiene. Massengil.... are you listening?
Okay, "penises with sweaters on" is funny. It just is.
Snort! I immeadiately thought: "Raincoats would be more effective."
God. Can you tell I have to teach Health this semester?
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please
click here.