etain, hmph. If it's a theater, then that's a helluva lot cooler. I was thinking your local Goodrich theater was running that junk. It makes a LOT more sense for live theater. Still not right, but understandbale :)

There was just a report about the Subservient Chicken on my local news. It's supposed to be a tie-in to the Office Spaceesque "have it your way" ads. I guess because you can have the chicken do anything, "your way." Whatever.

Has anyone seen the new Hardees commercial with Mark McGwire? I don't think that I've seen it mentioned here. I am amused by the fact that the first hamburger that he takes a bite out of is half-eaten, but that each subsequent bite that he takes seems to be out of a completely new, full burger, and that he pauses to contemplate the burger and turn it around to the other side, studying it. And he takes the pickle out of the burger and takes a tiny bite out of it. I would think that a guy as huge as Mark McGwire could inhale a burger like that in one bite.

I hate these Sonic commercials with the two guys who go to other fast food drive throughs and compare their service to Sonic. In the newest one, one guy is telling the other that he's not on the Atkins diet, but is on a diet to cut out Vitamin E from his diet. And somehow this Vitamin E deficiency causes him to not put the straw of his shake in his mouth at the end of the ad. WTF??? I hate these idiotic morons and wish the punching noise was them being punched the hell out. The only good thing that Sonic has are shakes and slushes. Put those on my TV screen and I'll go there more often.

Maybe they'll go back to those "health"-oriented ads now that their CEO has died of a heart attack.


Seriously. If all that stands between being myself and turning into a spastic Rastafarian is a glass of V-8, then I'll pass. That stuff is nasty, anyway.

And that chipper woman who's bursting to tell her friends she can use a tooth-whitening agent for a whole week? Needs to be stopped. Now.

I don't know if they're still showing it, but I loved the Easy Mac commercial with the new, bigger pouch. It's a shot of an empty kitchen, and the microwave beeps. We hear these really loud k'thun k'thun k'thun footfalls, and a teenage boy jogs into the kitchen and whangs his head on the light fixture and pitches over. Voiceover: "They're getting bigger. So are we."

Crystalballer,

I don't know if that commercial is on this site, but many moons ago, a kind TWOP'er turned me on to this site. It has some really cool foreign and domestic commercials, videos and short films.

It's a celebration! Enjoy yourself!

P.S. check out the short film for Ad-Man.

Brace yourselves. The Dancing Penis is back.

The only problems I have with the Doritos is all the fucking MSG. I love them, but they're not worth the headache and elevated blood pressure.

Is this a good place to admit my growing lust for the sexy next-door-neighbor in the Barilla pasta commercial?

Because I want to have his pasta and his babies, not necessarily in that order.

I have a movie boyfriend and a television boyfriend -- I guess adding a commercial boyfriend completes the set.

Oh, Hot Pasta Man, if only I knew your name, so I could write "Mrs. Hot Pasta Man" all over my Trapper Keeper.....

edited because apparently my lust interferes with my ability to punctuate...

Sorry to be a sports nerd, but the issue was that Honus Wagner wouldn't approve the card (believing it would cause kids to smoke) and it was printed without his permission. The limited quantity led to the cards' rarity and extremely high auction value.

Topic, right? I hate this new commercial for some credit service called Greenlight. It features 'customers' singing a gospel jingle about the service. Of course, center stage is the obligatory overweight black woman with the solo. Has anyone else ever been moved to hosannas in four part harmony by a freakin' credit service? Does the black woman show up when you do? Please fill me in on this.

I also saw a report for this, but I think it was on CNN or FoxNews (which is what we have on in the newsroom). I sit far away from the TV, so I can't hear it, but I looked up and saw the Subservient Chicken doing jumping jacks on the screen. Bizarre.

On an unrelated note, I've noticed that there are commercials for Modest Mouse's new CD being sold at Target. I don't know too much about Modest Mouse, but I had no idea they were big enough to earn their own CD promotion commercial. It's a cool commercial (maybe that's just because I really like "Float On," though.).

Why does this surprise anyone? The BK logo is clearly visible in the background on the website.

Speaking of asshats, there's a new Yahoo Life(?) ad featuring Al Franken bad mouthing Republicans next to Ben Stein. Give it up, Al. You're condescension is beyond tedious and you're not nearly as witty or clever as you think you are.

This is how pathetic I am: When people were talking about Zelnorm a while back (a long while back), I thought it was a made-up drug name, because who the hell would come up with a dumb-ass name like Zelnorm? Sounds like a character on The Simpsons. Today I saw an ad for it. Apparently it's real. Imagine my shock! :-/

Ugh. That reminds me: TJMaxx has updated their jingle too. You know, "doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo, TJMaxx." Believe it or not, the new version sounds worse. I can't help laughing, though, because they use footage from old TJMaxx ads and the clothes are just ... hee ... horrible looking.

Ick. Are those germy bastards back? HATE them.

Heh. You know, when I first saw Subservient Chicken, I wasn't sure if the BK loading logo was official, or just a really goofy joke tossed in for the heck of it (it's also easy to miss if you have a really fast connection). Er, I also missed the BK link on the bottom right. And the meaning of the now-obvious "Get chicken the way you like it" message. Too busy making the chicken create pillow forts. Sadly, it doesn't make me want BK food any more than their office ads.

Has anyone seen the commercial for some kind of new prescription medicine that has people surfing? It shows them from under the water and all you can see is the outline of the board and flailing limbs.

Every time they do that underwater shot I expect the theme music for Jaws to start up. Because seriously? They look like seals.

I attempt that only when I'm out driving my Batmobile.


You know how it is at Streaking Parties. You say you're there only for the hair on the top of your head, but then you start wondering how streaks would look .......... elsewhere.

Kwame rejecting a deal for $25,000 per week for hawking KFC? No wonder he lost!

Kwame came from a respected business and according to the article, is now trying to start one of his own. Latching onto a publicity stunt with a fast food company doesn't exactly instill confidence, or place him in the best of light. It's selling out, like Survivor castmates doing Playboy or something. Unlike a lot of the other famewhores out there, Kwame was in it for the chance to work for Donald Trump, not to get book deals and sponserships. I think it's smart that he's not taking it and it makes me respect him a lot more.

Not to mention, a classy man hawking fried chicken? A bit dodgy. There's no way--except financially--Kwame could benefit from doing that.

You have to admit, a chicken who will do whatever you ask it to is a pretty odd way to promote a fast food restaurant. I saw the BK logo, but didn't think anything of it, and the "have it your way" overall message is obvious, yet cheesy. But it's Burger King, so they're the kings of cheese, I guess.

Which one do you mean?
The one with the two friends at the shoe store is ok, but the one who meets her friends out to dinner and spends the whole commercial with her mouth open, she grates. No wonder she can't find a man and spends all her time bleaching her teeth!

Hello, I'm new.

I saw the following commercial a few years ago only one time, and haven't seen it since. It looked like a mock commercial but I can't remeber what was really advertised:

It starts out like a typical kids cereal commercial: A mother and child are eating cereal. The cartoon character (I think a cartoon sun) pops out of the picture on the cereal box and starts singing/being happy, etc. But instead of the mom and kid being excited, they get scared and start to run. The ultra happy cartoon starts to chase them. Then the mother falls down and the last thing seen is the cartoon bearing down on the mother and the kid looking back screaming "Nooo Mom!" or something like that.
It was funny as hell, and I wish I could remember what the product was for.
Anyone else remeber this one?

Hi, mousepad!

Yep, that one's been talked about a bit here. It was for Sunny Delight juice drink. If you're curious, use the "search" link up at the top of this page to search this thread for "Sunny Delight"; click "Show results as posts"; it comes up fairly often. It's a classic.

ETA: Acccck! No it wasn't, it was for Sprite, but the juice drink thing they used looked a lot like the Sunny Delight sun.

Heh. Only on TWoP can you find people who share the same annoyances that you do! Everyone (3-4 people) in that commercial pronounces it that way!

Wait a minute. The creepy-happy Sprite Sunny-D parody is back? Where can I see this?

Hi, mousepad! Welcome to the Usual Gang of Idiots. (Couldn't resist the MAD magazine reference.)

FfrauleinN, I don't think the Sprite parody is back. But I really, really wish it was. Funniest. Shit. Ever.

I want to join the "I'm SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE-AAAAAAAAAY!" love train. That guy KILLS me. I don't know why it's funny. I guess if they had someone else do it, it wouldn't be quite as funny. It's all delivery and timing. It's my favorite fast food commercial ever.



Actually, PostToastie, I think that's the one they were talking about. I hate it too. HATE (tm Sars). It makes me wonder if the ad execs who came up with that one really think all women are commitment phobes? It makes me think that the underlying subtext of the whole "I committed only for a week!" thing is that basically, women are sluts. That bothers me. A whole lot.

There's an ad for KFC - with the woman coming home and yelling at her husband/boyfriend and his friends about having her mother come over and cook them "Kitchen Fresh Chicken" (who calls their own food things like that?!). The woman, man and mother are black. Maybe I'm altogether too sensitive, but: racist, much?

Edited to clarify that I don't think that the ad was racist b/c of the terminology that the people in it use; rather I think it because a black family is being used to advertise fried chicken. Again, perhaps I'm overly sensitive.

Nah. All people in KFC ads look like morons nowadays.

[OT] I love this thread for all the snarky goodness. However, I apparently missed an inside joke that I'm sure I'd bwah over all day. Could someone explain "Seriously [monkey]" to me? Thanks [/OT]

Topic: That new Saturn commercial featuring the SUV followed by all kinds of household junk (seriously made me think of "Brave Little Toaster") including - I think - a washing machine... Then the Saturn takes a sharp turn and all the junk falls into a valley? Wha-huh? Mr.Snark and I saw it last night and he said "Nice. So Saturn promotes littering. Good to know." Heh.

you hated it when it first started. it made you cringe, change the channel in disgust, and want to shoot your sniveling little sister everytime you saw it.


that's right, the Sony Handycam "Shining Star" commercial is back.

uuuuuuggggggghhhhhh.

Aw, CRAP. I thought we were rid of that!

ETA that the commercial for Godsend just scared the living shit out of me. That kid is cree-pee.

I have just started seeing this ad for Liquid Bandage by Band-aid.

It features an extreme closup of the bottom of this guy's foot with a gaping gash across the pad.
Then someone applies the product and the commercial shows all the nasty ways this festering crevice could become infected, were it not for the protection of this goop.

Makes me wanta Hu-ur-url!!!

Not to mention that the idea of having a huge cut on the bottom of your foot makes me wincewincewince.

Grrr! I mentioned this one a while back and the hatred has intensified since then. The one with the ladies in the shoe store bugs me, but the one with the ladies at the dinner makes me want to tear my hair out. Shut up, faux-Sex-in-the-City morons. Yeah- you with the shark teeth and the scary dead eyes. Shut up. And, "Ohmygod, rilly, who is it? Does he hiv a friiind?"- seriously, ladies, invest in diction lessons- there must be a niggling question in the back of your mind as to why all of the other people in your acting class are now on hit sitcoms or in movies and you're stuck doing stupid tooth whitening commercials, and the answer is that you talk like you have a mouthful of marbles...and you just took a hit off a bong...and you're from the Valley. In 1983.
Also, Crest Teeth Whitening Strips Advertising "Geniuses"? Nobody talks like this. Ever.

Ugh, the liquid bandaids...it creeps me out where the woman is doing this clay pot with this huge ass cut on her hand.

::Shivers::

Hate hate hate liquid bandage. Tried it once on a small cut I had on my knee and watched in horror as my wound got infected literally before my very eyes. Burned like HELL and ...*sorry, graphic image coming*...puss starting bubbling up out it - except that it was trapped behind the dried liquid plastic whatever it is. Couldn't wash the damn stuff off fast enough (and it wasn't easy!)

Back on topic: I have finally witnessed the horror that is the Diarrhea Dance!
Agggggghhhhhh!!!!
Quick, someone please pass the eyeball bleach! I'd love to see the resumes of the actors in that one. "Why yes, I was Diarrhea Sufferer #2, 2nd from the right"

Re: woman tearing her husband a new one for making her mother come over and make her fry them some "kitchen fresh" (my 4 year old calls it "chicken fresh" - KFC should have consulted her first). I don't know why but it bothers me that's she so convinced her mother wouldn't just come over out of the goodness of her heart to make them some dinner? Couldn't she just have wanted some fried chicken herself but having made too much for herself, bring it over? Am I putting too much thought behind this? Yes. Yes, I am.

I, for one, am absolutely mesmerized by that woman's teeth. They're just so unnaturally white; and I think that the reason that she has her mouth agape for the whole commercial is that she physically cannot close it all the way because there are just too many teeth. I would be very interested in watching her eat a carrot with that set of choppers. (For the last time, I do not need psychoanalysis! Sheesh!)

Topic: I really love the commercial (oddly enough, I don't know what it's for - possibly SBC internet service) in which a father uses his high-speed access to the internet to look up the latest teen lingo and talks to his son entirely in teenspeak.
Sample:
Son (looking confused): Are you saying you want me to clean my room?
Father (matter-of-factly): That would be the heezy.
The dad's straightforward delivery just kills me.

Ugh, I also hate that Crest White-strips commercial with the four women at dinner. That woman has the biggest smile I've ever seen! It was captivating, for the wrong reasons. Seriously, if I was a friend, I would've been like, dude, have you have been smoking up?

I just saw the EpiPen commercial with the little girl whose mom is allergic to shellfish. Annoying commercial, yes, but that girl is pretty good. When she's talking about her mom being unable to breathe, she really sounds like she's remembering something that terrified her.

Man, me too! It's his enervated nonchalance that sells it, like when he enters his son's room and sighs, "'Sup, fool?"

I wish I could join in on the love for the Target split-screen ads, but I can't. The parts where they replace a human being's limbs with a mechanical object are just too disturbing for me. I have nightmares about being chased by that woman whose lower body is a pizza cutter.

Aw, that kinda makes me sad. They're so innovative.

Yeah, I don't really get it either. I think they're trying to make a point about leaving your worries behind or some shit, but they're doing a piss-poor job of it so I could be completely wrong.

Ew, yeah. I mean, great way to illustrate the point, but did you have to make me cringe too, Bandaid? Also, thanks Pittipat, for letting us know the junk doesn't even work.

Two new ads I love:
One features the interracial Verizon family, the Elliotts (?). The little boy who was destroying the living room last time is chattering on the phone to Nana. He's lying on his back, with war paint on his face and swim flippers on his feet. I can't make out what he's talking about, but he keeps going, "and then..." only it comes out more like "and den..." So cute. I'm not a fan of little kids in commercials, but this little boy is so natural.

I also love the commercial for (I think) Holiday Inn, promoting free cinnamon rolls for breakfast. The manager of a coffee shop congratulates an employee for thinking of a promotion where a man dressed as a cinnamon roll dances and sings to entice customers. The guy in the costume is frickin' hilarious. The employee looks at him and deadpans something like, "Yeah, it's not really working." I wish I could remember the song the cinnamon roll guy is singing. It's funny like the Sprint Sock Thief jig.

I can't believe no one else mentioned this, Vermicious. Not only is he back, but it's a different commercial! I saw in on Angel last night. The giant penisy tongue is in a variety of situations, including sumo wrestling. It's very disturbing when the Sumo dude wraps his arms around him and takes him down.

Yeah, I'm 12. Hee!

Finally found a commercial I love (barring the "peppa BAAAAARR", of course)... the new OnStar commercial, with Mom and her kids in their car, being followed by a fire truck, police car, ambulance, and tow truck. I think the best scene is when they're in line at a register, with Mom, kid, fireman, cop, paramedic, and tow truck driver all in line together! Cuteness!

Just saw the Scholls' Are You Gellin'? commercial a couple of gazillion times over the span of an hour. I must be 12 years old because I giggled every single time. For those who haven't seen it: The people wearing the new gel Scholls footpad are asking each other "Are you gellin'?" at a party and they proceed to make rhymes based on it. So bad. Then the typical "outsider" says "I'm gelling!" and two guys say "You're not gellin'" and "So totally not gellin'". Wow, it's even worse all typed out here.

That's one of the things I love about this Verizon ad. I'm not even quite sure the kid is acting. He does seem really natural. I wouldn't be surprised if he really was talking to his grandmother on the phone.

Split screens in ads are the new black.

New Citi Identity Theft ad sighted! Guy on a riding lawn mower, female voice with southern accent talking about press on nails with diamonds attached, choking up over being the prettiest girl in the development. Trailer park would've been funnier.

See, I would like that commercial, but the rest of the ads in that series really annoy me, because it only features male business travelers getting excited about the breakfast. Because business person=man. There aren't any women on the road, donchaknow? Maybe I'm overly sensitive, but it just grates.

There was been an ad ran every morning during Good Morning America for the last 3 days. It's this guy talking about getting various vitamins and other nutrients into your diet by drinking OJ. That would be fine, even if they had showed the other foods that had the same amount of whatever vitamin lying on plates would be fine. But no, the guy starts dropping sardines, rutabega, raw liver and whatnot into a blender. They air this commercial during breakfast, for God's sake. The only good thing is he does not drink it, if he did I would hurl. I don't think that's the response you want for a commercial.

I like this commercial also. And I enjoy OnStar radio ads. Hmm, I think I'm this close to getting a Buick/GM just for the OnStar feature. Yeah, I'm their bitch.



Eesh. I just saw this Scholls' Are you Gellin' commercial with all the stock brokers. God, that was painful. My least favorite moment? "He's not gellin'." "More like he's repellin'." Or some godawful nonsense like that.

Do the advertisers that come up with this garbage really pat themselves on the back when they find a work that rhymes with "gellin'"? Sad.

ETA: I have Liquid Bandage, and it's worked pretty well for me.

Re: Liquid BandAid



Ew. I know. But Liquid BandAid is the BOMB for those types of injuries. I am marathon training right now and the arches of my feet are wearing away from the blisters. It's nasty, but the LB seals it right up. The real reason that commerical makes me wince, cringe, and make the ssssssssssss noise isn't the cut, it's what they're not telling you... Liquid BandAid burns like the fires of hell!