Alexandria Bay
Apr 18, 2004 @ 6:03 pm
Hee. Thanks for clearing that up, Shelwood.
For Haunted EBay painting fans, there was another haunted EBay object. A cabinet of some sort. I think I found it on Snopes but Googling haunted ebay cabinet would probably work. (I'm drunk and lazy, that's why...)
etain
Apr 18, 2004 @ 6:30 pm
It took time, but I have officially fallen in hate with a Gorton's ad...
Open on a couple Inuit guys sitting by a lake -- one older, one younger. The older one says he's finally "learned where to find salmon." The younger one excitedly asks, "You had a vision from your spirit guide?" The older one says "no, I asked him," and points out at the Gorton's fisherman on a boat in the middle of the lake.
It's just dumb. Feh.
Daisy Duke
Apr 18, 2004 @ 6:50 pm
A general rule to stop using Native Americans as funny props would be good. They should be replaced with gnomes.
Mangetical Anji
Apr 18, 2004 @ 6:54 pm
Traveling gnomes?
Sideshow Al
Apr 18, 2004 @ 10:20 pm
It took time, but I have officially fallen in hate with a Gorton's ad...
Open on a couple Inuit guys sitting by a lake -- one older, one younger. The older one says he's finally "learned where to find salmon." The younger one excitedly asks, "You had a vision from your spirit guide?" The older one says "no, I asked him," and points out at the Gorton's fisherman on a boat in the middle of the lake.
Ugh. I hate that commercial. Worse yet, it's not the only Gorton's commercial that I hate; I also despise the one that starts with a woman pulling some sort of Gorton's-brand breaded crap out of the oven, at which point two excited kids run up and yell, "Yum! Our favorite!" But wait, there's a wacky twist: The woman doesn't have children and has no idea who these kids are! Ha! Well, I'm sure that that's supposed to be "wacky," but those kids are creepy and shouldn't be breaking into other people's homes for fish products; and I always yell at the lady in the commercial to call the police or drive the kids away with pepper spray or something.
Topic: Does anyone else hate "Mr. Wendy," the self-styled "unofficial spokesman" for Wendy's? Man, I am seriously wishing that the ghost of Dave Thomas will begin haunting that guy.
healing fish
Apr 18, 2004 @ 10:46 pm
I fucking hate that Wendy's is insinuating that it can get these losers to shill its products for free. It's taking advantage of stupid people and I can't stand it. Wendy's has been playing on this idea for years.
wdejesus79
Apr 18, 2004 @ 10:50 pm
I fucking hate that Wendy's is insinuating that it can get these losers to shill its products for free. It's taking advantage of stupid people and I can't stand it. Wendy's has been playing on this idea for years.
I hate this especially because I think Wendy's is a gajillion times better than Micky D's and Burger King.
But I love the look on the wife's face when Mr. Wendy's is doing his sctick at the food court. He is such a loser.
skittl3862
Apr 18, 2004 @ 11:26 pm
Ugh, has anyone else seen those obnoxious EpiPen commercials? The mother talking about her son getting stung by a bee at the Little League game. And the daughter getting all weepy about her mother having an allergic reaction to the seafood. Not that these aren't serious medical emergencies, I've known people with these allergies that had to carry around their EpiPens. But if you're allergic enough to need to carry an EpiPen, you and your family members are relatively used to these emergencies. The worst part is the long unncessary backstory, like how their mom wants them to try new foods on vacation. Just shut up and give us the facts!
Bigwheels1971
Apr 19, 2004 @ 1:34 am
DQ is awesome. Infants that kick thier dads in the groin make my day! :)
FfrauleinN
Apr 19, 2004 @ 7:40 am
Topic: Does anyone else hate "Mr. Wendy," the self-styled "unofficial spokesman" for Wendy's?
Oh, yeah. But the one where he's giving away sandwiches outside the Wendy's is hilarious. Why? Check out the man standing with his son at the left of the crowd that has gathered. The kid looks about eleven or so, and the man is
caressing the side of the boy's head as he enjoys his chicken sandwich. It's very bizarre. I don't know whether to hope they're actually related or not.
Ilikegrayarrows
Apr 19, 2004 @ 8:29 am
Has anyone seen the new McD's commercial with the woman and the kids on the playground and the annoying music? I've heard it so many times:
On the way here, they adore me
When it's time to go, all they do is ignore me
To get their attention gotta try something new
I ask myself: What would MacGuyver do?
Wait
Hold on, I got an idea
This should get 'em running over here
She holds up an empty McD's bag to get them to leave the playground. So, wait. Did she pretend she had the food they wanted to get them in the car, or is she really gonna take them to McD?
Also, isn't MacGuyver the fake cop on the fake cop show Patty and Selma watch on the Simpsons?
FfrauleinN
Apr 19, 2004 @ 8:33 am
No, MacGuyver was a real show. But, lady? It's 2004. Why are you wondering what MacGuyver would do?
ubi
Apr 19, 2004 @ 9:36 am
The commercial for the toilet bowl thingy, where the stockboys are debating where to stock the thingy? I'm actually supposed to believe that stockboys decide where products go; they care where products go; they debate where products go?
Are they even smart enough to grasp the complexities of where that product should go? I doubt it.
Help me out-- is this the Haunted eBay painting of which you speak? Cause it's super creepy....
Good grief that is cree. pee.
And I finally saw the new Goldfish ads with my beloved Carson. Boo. No good at all.
What happened to Carson? He looks TERRIBLE in that ad! I'm not going to mention his warddrobe; he should know better. :-D
Just saw an ACE Hardware commercial with a gnome riding through the desert in a convertible. I love gnomes, but I thought it was a Travelocity commercial until they said something about lawn care.
I saw that last night and thought the same thing! I was a bit disturbed about someone in this day and age actually owning a lawn jockey, however. Hmm, I have YET to see a Travelocity ad on TV...
I want your opinions on sports figures whoring for products. I don't mind Nike, which is at least tangentially related to sports, or the Wheaties Box, but I hated seeing Michael Jordan, the whoriest whore who ever whored, in commercials for batteries, hot dogs, and underpants. Tiger Woods comes a close second with car and insurance company ads.
I don't mind Tiger Woods so much, but I am absolutely tired of seeing Michael Jordan's mugg all over creation.
Ugh. I hate that commercial. Worse yet, it's not the only Gorton's commercial that I hate; I also despise the one that starts with a woman pulling some sort of Gorton's-brand breaded crap out of the oven, at which point two excited kids run up and yell, "Yum! Our favorite!" But wait, there's a wacky twist: The woman doesn't have children and has no idea who these kids are! Ha! Well, I'm sure that that's supposed to be "wacky," but those kids are creepy and shouldn't be breaking into other people's homes for fish products; and I always yell at the lady in the commercial to call the police or drive the kids away with pepper spray or something.
I love that ad but I thought the punchline that the parents thought they were their kids' friends and their children are all like "We don't know them!".
No, MacGuyver was a real show. But, lady? It's 2004. Why are you wondering what MacGuyver would do?
Right you are, Ken! </MXC>
Shem the Penman
Apr 19, 2004 @ 9:38 am
I want your opinions on sports figures whoring for products. I don't mind Nike, which is at least tangentially related to sports, or the Wheaties Box, but I hated seeing Michael Jordan, the whoriest whore who ever whored, in commercials for batteries, hot dogs, and underpants. Tiger Woods comes a close second with car and insurance company ads. And what bothers me more is that neither's fame is deserved (I mean outside of sports, in the general popular culture). Tiger's is the result of his youth, good looks, and ambiguous ethnicity, and Jordan's from being lucky to be playing when basketball was becoming a new American past-time. Better players than them were/are unknown weren't/aren't offered lucrative endorsement deals. (Sorry for the OT rant)
Not much that can be done about it, though. It's been a part of life ever since back when Honus Wagner was posing for cigarette cards.
That said, I loathe those Nike ads where they act like
all forms of athletic endeavor are a fully owned subsidiary of Nike, Inc.
Sideshow Al
Apr 19, 2004 @ 9:57 am
Re: Gorton's ad:
I love that ad but I thought the punchline that the parents thought they were their kids' friends and their children are all like "We don't know them!".
Well, maybe that is the case. I have to admit that I honestly don't know; when that commercial comes on, my eyerolling and exclamations of disgust really don't give me a chance to take in the details. I promise to be more attentive in general in the future. Now, as for Kwame and Omarosa . . . hey, whaddya mean this isn't
The Apprentice thread?!
Re: McDonald's commercial with woman at the playground:
No, MacGuyver was a real show. But, lady? It's 2004. Why are you wondering what MacGuyver would do?
Not only is it an outdated pop culture reference, but if you also think about what the character MacGyver really would have done, you'd find that it involves a teeter-totter, duct tape, and his Swiss army knife; McDonald's foodstuffs really wouldn't enter the plan at all.
formergr
Apr 19, 2004 @ 10:54 am
Close shave!
Barbasol!!
Ugh, shut up stupid Barbasol commercials! I can't decide which one is worse, the mom almost being smeared by the wet painting, or the baseball player almost getting nailed by the inside pitch. Somehow I get the impression these are being made by the same ad agnecy that does More Ovaltine, please!
screamapiller
Apr 19, 2004 @ 11:06 am
but if you also think about what the character MacGyver really would have done, you'd find that it involves a teeter-totter, duct tape, and his Swiss army knife; McDonald's foodstuffs really wouldn't enter the plan at all.
Oh, I don't know about that.... I have a feeling that MacGuyver could have taken a napkin, some chicken mcnuggets, and a super size drink cup and figured out how to turn it into homemade dynamite.
Ugh, shut up stupid Barbasol commercials!
Seriously (monkey), since when does Barbasol advertise on television? I always figured that Barbasol was bought by all the men who still by Old Spice and AquaVelva.
Tornado25
Apr 19, 2004 @ 12:42 pm
That's so lame that they have to do that. I thought satire had a lot of leeway
I kind of thought that a snall part of the bigger joke, itself. Plus, to me anyway, the funniest part of that is the disclaimer goes on to say "The Bud Light Institute does not do real research or sell any products".
Topic: Does anyone else hate "Mr. Wendy," the self-styled "unofficial spokesman" for Wendy's? Man, I am seriously wishing that the ghost of Dave Thomas will begin haunting that guy.
WORD. The one I hate the most is the one I think is the first of the series, where he's outside Wendy's HQ and he reads the letter "we must ask that you cease and desist, etc". Ok, so wait a minute, Wendy's. If your lawyers don't want him representing you as the "unofficial" spokesman, why is he on my TV, representing himself as a
de facto spokesman? Either he is or isn't a spokesman and if he isn't or can't be, then I want him gone.
rosiebloom
Apr 19, 2004 @ 1:33 pm
What can physical abuse with a dead cod teach us about capital investment?
phxchic
Apr 19, 2004 @ 2:13 pm
I always figured that Barbasol was bought by all the men who still by Old Spice and AquaVelva.
Eh, it's not that bad. Better than Colgate at least.
I dunno how Barbasol stays in business, though. One can lasts forever, at least based on the can that
phxguy bought back in '97 and used this morning.
Pink Mayuri
Apr 19, 2004 @ 8:18 pm
Ugh, there's a new Villagio bread commercial in which they use and bastardize the famous "Figaro la, Figaro chu, Figaro ma..." song from Rossini's Il barbiere di Seviglia. Bad enough to use an amazing piece of work from one of my favourite operas, but to replace "Figaro" with "Villagio" is unacceptable. People, the song is not an all-purpose fun-time ditty. It's a light-hearted but revealing aria that reveals how popular the barber is and also how full of himself Figaro can be. Don't fuck it up with fatty, sugary, glorified Wonderbread.
healing fish
Apr 19, 2004 @ 9:06 pm
Ok, so wait a minute, Wendy's. If your lawyers don't want him representing you as the "unofficial" spokesman, why is he on my TV, representing himself as a de facto spokesman? Either he is or isn't a spokesman and if he isn't or can't be, then I want him gone.
And just what the fuck is Wendy's trying to say here? That their food is so unbelievable that not only do they not have to advertise it themselves, they actually have to restrain other people from advertising it
for free, against their wishes?
Whatever. Get the fuck over yourself, Wendy's.
Jumpin
Apr 19, 2004 @ 9:15 pm
My dad was enraged that some commercial (he's got a poor memory) was using some sacred music by either Beethoven or Mozart in the background of some toilets overflowing, or something lame. It's not cutesy tunes, ad people; it was often commissioned by the Pope, and was performed at major church occasions. (I'm not a big expert in classical so feel free to correct or fine-tune).
Tanathir
Apr 19, 2004 @ 9:22 pm
Two major hates:
One, putting The Hallelujah Chorus in a commercial for anything from broken window repair, to house painting, to toilet cleanser. I try to be lax and not judge those who aren't especially religious, but that is too much. Hallelujah is for God, not your product. Last I checked, Mister Clean could not walk on water.
Speaking of Mister Clean...I HATE the revised ads, with the jingle all modenized and pop musicy sounding. The original was enough, I could even tolerate the flirting animated character, but now? No. If I am a housewife looking for a trusty product, I will not go for the one with the creepy quasi-child molesting mascot.
Jumpin
Apr 19, 2004 @ 9:26 pm
Yes, use of Hallelujah drives me nuts. Especially in movie trailers when they show a bunch of violent clips over it.
Mangetical Anji
Apr 19, 2004 @ 9:48 pm
I despise the use of "Spring" from Vivaldi's Four Seasons in commercials.
vegasusa555
Apr 19, 2004 @ 10:46 pm
Usually when I see the "Office Space" Burger King commercials, I turn the channel, but I just saw one that I liked. The usual crew is eating in the break room when all of a sudden, one of the guys busts out and says, "I'm spicy!!!!". The way he says it cracks my shit up! Has anyone seen it?
Also, that Ebay painting is cree-pee!!!! Will my soul be taken by the two kids since I looked at it!!!!???
screamapiller
Apr 19, 2004 @ 11:05 pm
Usually when I see the "Office Space" Burger King commercials, I turn the channel, but I just saw one that I liked. The usual crew is eating in the break room when all of a sudden, one of the guys busts out and says, "I'm spicy!!!!". The way he says it cracks my shit up! Has anyone seen it?
I'm SPICE-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Cracks. Me. UP!
skittl3862
Apr 20, 2004 @ 12:13 am
I despise the use of "Spring" from Vivaldi's Four Seasons in commercials.
Ha, that used to be my ringtone. (Don't worry, it was only until I downloaded a new one.)
My dad was enraged that some commercial (he's got a poor memory) was using some sacred music by either Beethoven or Mozart in the background of some toilets overflowing, or something lame.
Oh, yeah I think it's a commercial for septic tank cleaners or something, where their point is you no longer have to unclog toilets or something stupid like that. But they're using a lot of classical music in really odd commercials now, so it's just a short time before the Hallelujah Chorus in Viargra ads. Crap, maybe I shouldn't mention this, someone out there might actually try it...
jolly_roger
Apr 20, 2004 @ 2:58 am
Barbasol!!
Haw! That reminds me of a
very cheap-looking Lectric Shave ad from the early 80's. Middle-aged dad says to his twenty-something son (in a Ralph Kramdenesque, "One of these days, Alice" voice), "Grow a beard, huh? Not under
my roof!" And the proto-slacker whines back, "But Dad! Shaving hurts my face!" The problem is solved when Dad introduces the girly-voiced loser to Lectric Shave! The kicker is that Lectric Shave is a pre-shave tonic for people who use electric razors. Perhaps my layer-upon-layer of acne scarring has left my face less sensitive to my electric razor, but how painful could electric shaving be for
anybody? Is the commercial guy taking removing the metal screens before he shaves and just gouging the rotating blades directly into his flesh? What gives?
ubi
Apr 20, 2004 @ 6:27 am
Usually when I see the "Office Space" Burger King commercials, I turn the channel, but I just saw one that I liked. The usual crew is eating in the break room when all of a sudden, one of the guys busts out and says, "I'm spicy!!!!". The way he says it cracks my shit up! Has anyone seen it?
Darn, you all beat me to it! I hated it, much like all their other
Office Space rip off ads.
Speaking of which, I've been seeing ads for that show (the UK version) on DVD and it's confusing the hell out of me because it's singularly as unfunny as the BK ones, although I must say I chuckled at the one in which someone's trying to take a picture of the boss for something business-y and he keeps sexing it up.
C.
Apr 20, 2004 @ 7:44 am
Has anyone else seen the fabric softener ad with the small animals and the dryer vents? And does anyone else think 'peep show' or 'glory hole' when they see it?
bakaney
Apr 20, 2004 @ 8:00 am
Has anyone else seen the fabric softener ad with the small animals and the dryer vents? And does anyone else think 'peep show' or 'glory hole' when they see it?
I didn't before, but I sure as hell do now. Hee.
TenPea
Apr 20, 2004 @ 8:31 am
I absolutely LOVE that Kraft Easy Mac commercial with the kid's reflection in the microwave. He cracks. me. up. Great casting. When he does the "shake your heeeaadd" part? Always makes me giggle.
etain
Apr 20, 2004 @ 9:40 am
Local. NYC area. Saw them for the first time last night.
Ad 1: a couple strip down to nothing in a bathroom, look at each other suggestively. Put on blindfolds. Get into a bathtub together. Then they start THROWING A RADIO BACK AND FORTH TO EACH OTHER.
Ad 2: A guy sitting in an easy chair sprays a trail of Cheez Whiz leading from a mouse hole in his wall, across the floor, up his leg, to his crotch, sits back and waits.
Both ads end the same way: showing the logo for a local theater complex with the voiceover: "Looking for a more exciting evening?"
I have no idea.
archbrow
Apr 20, 2004 @ 10:16 am
I absolutely LOVE that Kraft Easy Mac commercial with the kid's reflection in the microwave. He cracks. me. up. Great casting. When he does the "shake your heeeaadd" part? Always makes me giggle.
WORD! That kid is awesome and hilarious! Although, as I watched it, I feared for him. I hope he is home schooled, and has really good friends, because if he goes to a regular school... he is SO smeared.
I just have to say that if I hear Wilford Brimley annoyingly mispronounce the word diabetes as "dia-BEEE-diss" one more time, I am going to pound something.
HATE!
That is all.
WhyTheLongFace
Apr 20, 2004 @ 11:20 am
The McDonald's commercial with the losers playing poker in the basement using McDonald's fries as chips? Eeergh.
Let's not even talk about the idiotic song that accompanies the commercial. Who the hell wants fries after all your buddies have had their grimy mitts all over 'em? And McD fries, much like all fries, taste like crap once they get cold.
I'm not lovin' it.
ubi
Apr 20, 2004 @ 11:26 am
I absolutely LOVE that Kraft Easy Mac commercial with the kid's reflection in the microwave. He cracks. me. up. Great casting. When he does the "shake your heeeaadd" part? Always makes me giggle.
Oh, I hate that ad; I thought he was retarded when I first saw it.
Miki The Brain
Apr 20, 2004 @ 1:42 pm
etain THE HELL!?
I mean, I guess going to the local cineplex to see Mean Girls would trump risking life and death in a weird Toaster Roulette game or being fellated by a hungry mouse, but really? I wish I'd been in on that ad agency's brainstorming session. It always kills me when we see dumb ads because THIS was the best idea they had.
Rabrab
Apr 20, 2004 @ 2:14 pm
I don't know. etain's ads sound positively hilarious to me. Of course I'll never see them, and they may very well be funnier in my head than they actually are. Lots of things are.
Cleo256
Apr 20, 2004 @ 2:33 pm
What can physical abuse with a dead cod teach us about capital investment?
Hee! Hate those commercials. Apparently there's advice about investing in street puddles, the sound your dryer makes, and the leavings in your tissue after you blow your nose.
Who the hell wants fries after all your buddies have had their grimy mitts all over 'em? And McD fries, much like all fries, taste like crap once they get cold.
Totally agree. You forgot to mention how greasy the guy who wins looks. I have a feeling that his buddies let him win because they really didn't want to eat anything that he'd touched.
C'mon, McD. You change your ad campaign every couple years. Isn't it time to switch again yet? Maybe you'll get it right next time.
crystalballer
Apr 20, 2004 @ 2:43 pm
Does anyone know a site that has tons of commercials for download?
I'm particularly looking for the raoul bova gap commercial. The gap site is being a complete dick and won't let anyone download the video. Anyone here with some foresight?
chris2
Apr 20, 2004 @ 3:05 pm
Has anyone seen, or noticed, the commercial for Loreal Colour Riche lipstick with the guy who looks like a gayer version of Queer Eye's Carson Kressley standing behind the model? He's wearing twice as much lipstick as she is and it's five times as pink. I'm not sure if that's intentionally hilarious or not.
Also, the two flashers who mistakenly show up at the "Streaking Party" - except, maybe not quite. I can see why they were confused - why are all these people dressed only in towels to streak their hair? I can understand taking off their shirts, but all of their clothes?
The puppy who goes to camp has the exact same voice as the puppy in the Cottonelle commercial who says "Hey, I thought I was the only one allowed to go naked" and also the same voice as the baby who is suprised to see his mother using Baby Oil. Commercial people? Find some new voice talent.
etain
Apr 20, 2004 @ 3:24 pm
The puppy who goes to camp has the exact same voice as the puppy in the Cottonelle commercial who says "Hey, I thought I was the only one allowed to go naked" and also the same voice as the baby who is suprised to see his mother using Baby Oil.
....I'm not so sure this is true; the Cottonelle and the Baby Oil ads use an adult voice, and the voice of the singing puppy at camp is definitely a kid's.
Re the theater ads: it's actually for a stage complex as opposed to a movie space, and a stage space I've worked in briefly, so there is the small part of me saying "Yay!" to any part of my industry having the money to even advertise period. But they were weird enough to make me sit in slack-jawed amazement for a minute afterward, still.
Stardancer2001
Apr 20, 2004 @ 5:06 pm
Those Rollitos commercials really bother me.
Show of hands; Who was actually having a problem eating Doritos? I surely didn't! I used to inhale jumbo bags of the stuff every other day. Has the Frito-Lay people completely lost their minds? Why would I pay money to eat a rolled up version of a snack I already eat?
LadySheherazade
Apr 20, 2004 @ 5:08 pm
I hate most McDonald's commercials, but I do have to say that one with all the hot guys in the office does it for me. Yum.
glstx
Apr 20, 2004 @ 5:42 pm
Re: The Burger King Office Space commericals - I kinda like the one where the guys says to the boss "We got the same thing." He sounds so pathetic. And this his coworker says "there are some more buns in here? Wanna kiss 'em?" Cracks me up every time.
PostToastie
Apr 20, 2004 @ 6:03 pm
Damn V-8 tap dancing guy! Get the fuck off my screen!!
Seriously, I thought these commercials were over!
mariposa
Apr 20, 2004 @ 7:08 pm
My dad was enraged that some commercial (he's got a poor memory) was using some sacred music by either Beethoven or Mozart in the background of some toilets overflowing, or something lame. It's not cutesy tunes, ad people; it was often commissioned by the Pope, and was performed at major church occasions. (I'm not a big expert in classical so feel free to correct or fine-tune).
Would the piece in question be "Ode to Joy" from Beethoven's 9th Symphony?
Yes, use of Hallelujah drives me nuts. Especially in movie trailers when they show a bunch of violent clips over it.
I can't think of any movie trailers that used "Hallelujah," but I remember the trailer for one of the
Die Hard movies used clips of explosions and Bruce Willis jumping out of exploding buildings - to the tune of "Ode to Joy."
screamapiller
Apr 20, 2004 @ 7:23 pm
Damn V-8 tap dancing guy! Get the fuck off my screen!!
I'm starting to think that Savion Glover is turning into the tap-dancing equivalent of LL Cool J...
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