Don't feel bad, wdejesus79... my older brother, younger sister and I still do this. And we range in age from 27 to 40. It just never goes out of style.





CustomOfLife, just be careful around St. Patrick's Day, Killian's runs both TV and radio commercials (plus, it's made by Coors, so you may have to give it up anyway...) I do believe I'll have another glass of scotch.

ETA Ms. Levitra? Oh, for the love of Mike Ditka, what the hell is Ms. Levitra? Bad enough their stupid logo looks like a flaming hoo-hoo...

speaking of Saturn commercials, i'm surprised no one's mentioned the new stork commercial they have. The way the stork (after he drops the baby) walks away from the happy couple just cracks me up every time.

Robert Plant is very much alive. I am sorta an idiot.

The commercial for the toilet bowl thingy, where the stockboys are debating where to stock the thingy? I'm actually supposed to believe that stockboys decide where products go; they care where products go; they debate where products go?

My dad and my aunt still do this, and they're well into their 50s. So yeah, never out of style.

Love the ad for the driveway crack fixer, where the driveway crack keeps verbally taunting the guy, getting more and more abusive and louder, until the guy fills it with the fixer. And the tagline: "Keeps bad cracks from getting worse".

Is it wrong that the first thing I thought of was "I guess that's how they make those Pearl tampons"?

And time out: Robert Plant? Dead?! Where was I? Why was I not informed? I might add though that there's no mention of this on Rolling Stone's website.... Anyone, anyone Bueller?

I don't think he's dead. Are you guys thinking of John Bonham? He's been dead since like, 1982.

Or, possibly, this.

Jeez. Thanks for the heart attack!

Step away from the computer and havoc ensues. It's my fault though, I was like, 'but, he died, I totally remember like a couple months ag... oh, crap that was Robert Palmer...'

Sorry, my bad, didn't mean to kill anyone. :( Plant, Palmer, Palm tree, I have no idea how I confused them, sorry.

So, er, in other news, did the fine folks at the Hooked-on-Phonics-like program Master Reader not anticipate what happens when lots of people stare into the camera and say, "before he started on the Master Reader program...?" Try it, if you say it conversationally, it doesn't so much sound like the distinct words master and reader, but...

I giggle every time the guy on the bike smacks into the car and goes flying over the hood...

Is that the one with the dogs hanging out the car windows? If so, I hate that ad. It should be cute, but all I can think of is how dangerous that is--I've seen too many dogs hurt that way. If it's not Geico, then I my rant is misdirected. Still real, just off target.

I am a brother. I am a son. I play soccer. I am the goalie. I was beat up today during lunch. I have 4 stitches. I am sitting at the counter in this diner on the corner. I am in this annoying commercial. I need to be taken out of my misery. I am a diabetic. THIS is my testing kit. This is my testing kit!

Has anyone else seen these commercials?

She looks like she lives in pertual fear of getting her hoo-hoo impaled by Smiling Bob again.


That make a good slogan for hemroid treatment as well.

Oh-oh! It appears the Sheer Blondes ad is back in circulation...

I laugh when I see the beer ad that features some scientist from the 'Budweiser intitute'. Not because the ad is funny, but because they run a disclaimer at the bottom that reads something like "The Budweiser Institute is not a real institute"

That's so lame that they have to do that. I thought satire had a lot of leeway (see recent Al Franken vs. FOX trial). When SNL is doing an ad for a fake product, they don't run disclaimers, do they? Is Budweiser afraid they'll get sued by people who thought it was a real place?

One ad that I like is another beer one. I can't remember the brand, but they use the song "The Life" by Mystic. I'm by no means a fan of hip-hop and R&B, but damn, that song is GORGEOUS.

and if it was, it would be in a building that also housed the Ponds Institute and the Slim-Fast Institute (remember those commercials? Ha!)

Yeah, I complained about them a couple of pages back. The way those people go on, you'd think it was a PSA and they were members of a universally despised minority group trying to point out that "we are people too".

What makes the commercial truly bizarre is the juxtaposition of the disclaimer that reads, "The Budweiser Institute is not a real institute," with the Bud Light slogan that states, "Fresh. Smooth. Real." WELL, WHICH IS IT, BUDWEISER?!! Are they saying that Bud Light is as real a beer as the "Budweiser Institute" is a real institute? Or do their disclaimer writers and slogan writers just not communicate with each other before a commercial is finalized? Sheesh. Guess I'll just stick to my Johnny Walker. And my corn whiskey. And my ethylene glycol whenever I can't get any Johnny Walker or corn whiskey.

No, I don't have a problem! I can stop any old time I want, I tells ya!

Oh no, there's more than one "this is my testing kit" ad? Noooo! I've only seen the one with the mother.

I remember the Ponds Institute! Not the Dexatrim Institute, though. I bet they share not only a building but an ad agency.

Hey, does anyone know whatever happened to Sy Sperling? You know, he was not only the president of Hair Club for Men, but a member? All I ever see anymore is the Verilux (whatever) ad or the Geico spoof. Did Sy die of an ingrown hair plug or something?

Because I just remembered that it was the Slim-Fast Institute that was the "institute" diet commercial, not Dexatrim! I hang my head in shame....

Um...you mean there really isn't a Ponds Institute? Boy, do I feel stupid now.

I just saw the world's weirdest commercial on TNT. It somehow combined Van Helsing with NBA basketball. Words can't describe it. You have to see it for yourself.

The wasp nest/garbage can health insurance ad has a companion piece--a guy wearing a lion outfit is urged by a Marlin Perkins-esque TV guy to provoke a pride of lions.

Regarding the "you're in" commercials: there's one of them where the guy sounds like he's actually saying "urine" instead. Just a little off in the timing...

Has anyone seen the ads on ABC Family for this TV movie called "Brave New Girl"? Lame title aside, it's produced by freakin' Britney Spears and her sister Lynne, and based on that book that Britney wrote with her mother awhile ago. GAG!

I think it's a movie about this girl who really, really wants to be like Britney, and it just looks beyond stupid. The killer for me is this girl in the commercial who says, "You wanna be just like you're hero...Britney!" in the most awful Southern accent I've ever heard. On top of that, the girl in the movie can't sing, and she wears these outfits that look like Brit's concert rejects ("too little skin...this has to be shorter!!"), probably to comply with Disney's ratings.

ChinkyGirl, I KNOW! BRave New Girl my ass. (Something tells me you've been watching ABC Family too much! I always have to deal with those stupid ads when I'm watching Two of a Kind. Yeah, I know I should ashamed, but there's something about that professor dad....)

Lynne is Britney's mother. Jamie-Lynne is her sister. Anyway, I can't stand that girls horrific accent. [Hey don't jump on me, I'm from the South!]

She's got a good shot at being just like Britney then.

You guys have missed the worst part about the horror that is Brave New Girl: the big somg from it that isn't "Stronger" is a crapfest to the tune of a well-known piece (whose name I cannot recall) from Carmen.

Yeah, it is funny. The bike rider pedals madly, completely oblivious to the car parked right in front of him.


At least one of the dogs is behind a closed car window. You can tell because you can see the dog slobber on the glass.

During a bizarre car commercial in which a sporty sedan slaloms around giant books [no monkey], my 11-year-old noticed the fine print. She exclaimed, "'Professional driver, do not attempt'? How can anyone 'attempt' to dodge around gigantic falling books?!"
Sniff. My baby, snarking like a pro. I'm so proud of her.


Ergh. They did the same thing with clips from Return of the King and NBA clips. Juxtaposing Elrond urging Aragorn to fulfill his destiny with shots of some guy holding a trophy.

Total and utter WORD to the Brave New Girl hate. (Note the presence of 11-year-old girl in household as indicated above.) The commercials alone make my skin crawl with loathing.

BWAH!

Brave New Girl sounds like cinematic cat vomit, but luckily I can avoid the channel it's running on and not see the commercials. However, there is a commercial for a theatrical movie that freaks me out nine ways to Sunday: Godsend. It's like the Haunted E-bay Painting meets "The Sixth Sense..." I just can't stand movies with creepy little dead-eyed children lingering about.

Aagh, that Godsend trailer. The part that bugs me is when Al Pacino, sorry, Robert DeNiro shouts "You think you can open Pandora's box and then just close it again?!" Oh, you mean like Pandora did? Criminy, what a lame metaphor and what a horrendous line. It's like the fraternal twin of Renee Zellweger's Cold Mountain trailer quote ("They make the rain..." etc. etc.). They could have left that snippet out of the trailer, and it would've made the movie look less cheesy. On the plus side, the trailer managed not to spoil one of the movie's plot twists, which is the clone is evil. (I understand that Dolly the sheep had the same problem.)

Oh yeah. Why would the parents have wanted to clone that freaky-looking kid in the first place?

My latest commercial hate is for Coors (I think) where some slacker in a bar is asking about people who's job it is to taste beer. CoorsMan says that their "Master Brewers" make sure the beer tastes great and "some even get a PhD in brewing." Poor Bar Shlub, clearly disapointed, asks if the PhD is necessary, and CoorsMan says condescendingly, "It's pretty important."

Things to hate:

1) If only "some" of the brewers get PhDs, then it's not that important, is it? Also, the implication is that these brewers get their PhDs in brewing while working for Coors, so in theory, Poor Bar Shlub could be hired while working towards his PhD.

2) On a similar note, where exactly does one get a PhD in brewing? I'm pretty convinced my school doesn't offer one. Is this a special degree you can only get through the "Coors Institute"?

3) If they have PhDs, shouldn't they be "Doctor Brewers" (or perhaps "Brew Doctors") rather than "Master Brewers"? That makes it sound like they only have Masters Degrees in brewing, and that's clearly not acceptable to the highly selective folks at Coors!

To be honest, I was channel surfing today, saw some movie on ABC Family that starred Melissa Reeves from "Days of our Lives" as the lady who gave birth to 6 kids, and just had to tune in, lol. But a few years ago, I watched all of the aforementioned show, and I'm ashamed to admit that I recognize the dad when he was on "Sex and the City" lol. Didn't get to finish the movie, though...those "Brave New Girl" ads turned me right off!

Ack! I got my Spearses (?) mixed up! Anyways, can't stand any of them ;)

I can't stand when the kid says, "Don't worry, Mummy." So, apparently when you resurrect your dead kids, they become British. Brilliant.

Another thing I can't stand: Rebecca Romijn-Stamos as an actress.

With Robert DeNiro for Chrissakes! She is awfully nice to look at, but acting is not her strong suit.

Glad I'm not the only one who thinks they're interchangeable.

I can't believe I'm not the only one who immediately thought of the haunted eBay painting! I love that thing in all its creepy glory.

Help me out-- is this the Haunted eBay painting of which you speak? Cause it's super creepy....

And I finally saw the new Goldfish ads with my beloved Carson. Boo. No good at all.

AGH! That painting creeped me out....I think I'll be sleeping with the lights on tonight :(

Is it possible to earn a degree from one of these hallowed halls?

I saw that! To be fair, he says they MAY be un-American. But still. Yeesh!



cronox5, if you scroll up on the very page where your post appears, you will see that glstx mentioned this very commercial about, oh...six hours before you posted this. It's the third post on page 587.

That Haunted EBay painting creeped me out. Good thing it's 10 in the morning, otherwise there would be no sleep for me tonight, y'all.

When will Carrot Top die? I hate those ATT ads, and will never use ATT for my collect calls. Besides, didn't 1-800-COLLECT have Mr. T awhile back? That's enough to get my business.

I'm not sure if these ads air on television, or if it's only at the movies (speaking of which, I get enough commercials at home, now I have to get them before movies? Fuck.), but the Estee Lauder ads with the woman who walks on flower petals that appear on the water and all that nonsense, with the Madonna song in the background? Yeah, that commercial bugs, and the song gets stuck in my head forEVER.

I see the Comcast commercials are on with the guy who HAS to imitate the sound of a dial up modem. Enough to make me want to cancel my service.

Oh man...Dialup. I'm so glad those days are over for me. Those modem noises were the worst. Thing. Ever.

Just saw an ACE Hardware commercial with a gnome riding through the desert in a convertible. I love gnomes, but I thought it was a Travelocity commercial until they said something about lawn care.

Does this make gnomes the new raised-by-wolves?

That haunted painting is fantabulous. Just imagine the Night Gallery episode that it could have inspired.

If someone wants to start a collection to pay for a hit on Carrot Top, I'll kick in a few dollars. Those AT&T commercials are a scourge that must be stopped.

I noticed that the new Crestor commercial actually tells you what the damn stuff is for. Finally.

I just wanted to say that my love for the Viagra "my way" commercials knows no bounds. I should be ashamed, but I just laugh all the way through those ads. I must just be a cheap laugh.

Sandman, i've got $5.00 right here!

You know, I stopped eating hot dogs long before I went vegetarian, mainly because I felt like I couldn't eat something that had such questionable ingredients. (This is also why I stopped eating Twinkies.) So take that, Ball Park people!

I'm glad that Easter is over so I don't have to be subjected to those scary-ass Toys R'Us bunnies.

I want your opinions on sports figures whoring for products. I don't mind Nike, which is at least tangentially related to sports, or the Wheaties Box, but I hated seeing Michael Jordan, the whoriest whore who ever whored, in commercials for batteries, hot dogs, and underpants. Tiger Woods comes a close second with car and insurance company ads. And what bothers me more is that neither's fame is deserved (I mean outside of sports, in the general popular culture). Tiger's is the result of his youth, good looks, and ambiguous ethnicity, and Jordan's from being lucky to be playing when basketball was becoming a new American past-time. Better players than them were/are unknown weren't/aren't offered lucrative endorsement deals. (Sorry for the OT rant)

The haunted Ebay picture is too creepy for words. That girl had no eyes. . .

No, raised-by-wolves brought the ick factor (don't forget the suckling), so licking stuff off people's faces is the new raised-by-wolves. Gnomes are the new CGI-talking-baby (but not CGI-groin-kicking-baby), since they are meant to be appealing, and, in fact, are an improvement over the talking-baby, which was actually, but not intentionally, creepy.

WORD. I'm not a vegetarian, but after reading The Jungle in high school, I will only eat Hebrew National hot dogs- all beef baby! Yum, they're so tasty...

Rosiebloom, I don't mind sports figures doing endorsements when it's related to their field. Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods doing Nike, fine. Tiger Woods schilling crap cars and Michael Jordan's Hanes ads-- no way.